INTOXICATION THREAD #2 / LAST PART UP ON PG 54 :) - Page 46

Poor Khushi, it must be such a blow to whatever sense of self-respect she has to have to beg for a job. Her desperation comes through. Inside her heart was a strange silence...and all the faux bravado with which she had faced life until now seemed to have dissipated too. Her eyes were devoid of the light and the fire, they once had and her shoulders slumped dejectedly. She felt broken, splintered into a million pieces and she didn't have even the slightest desire to build herself back... heartbreaking! Hunger makes one do things one never thought oneself capable of! Maybe that's what her destiny is, she thought, maybe that's why every man seems to think she is one... Maybe she should be one... clear indication that she has plunged to the very depths of hopelessness if she believes that being a s**t is all she deserves... so soul-destroying! A small voice inside her wished she could get a cup of tea instead... that was heart-rending because a small part of her still yearns for normalcy and respect! It breaks one's heart to see what she has been degraded to, all thanks to the men she trusted and who didn't give a damn about her... I know Arnav was only doing his job, and one can't fault his patriotism, but that is no excuse for what was done to Khushi. After a while she got up from the stool and immediately sat down again, hearing a loud buzzing in her ears... no doubt going hungry for three consecutive days and having a drink, even if only a sip, on an empty stomach has taken its toll. Arnav trying to redeem himself is poignant and his realisation of what he has brought Khushi to must have been like a punch in the gut. "I'm sorry, I didn't...," he began with his eyes flickering with contrition... With her eyes flashing with contempt, and her lips pursed, she raised her hand and slapped him hard on the cheek... I am glad that he is attempting to undo the wrong he has done her, but must say he deserves that slap and even something more... his sorry' is quite inadequate to the extent of the hurt he inflicted on her. If Arnav had let Khushi go to that customer, he would never have been able to forgive himself, leading to his own destruction, too. "You know what, even these men are be better than you, at-least they keep it fair and honest and don't try to deceive you with crap about your eyes and roses", she said bitterly, her eyes shining with tears... agree with her a 100%! His justification that it was just his job, partially blaming it on wrong intel and saying he couldn't help himself, while true, is no comfort to her... must have made her feel even more ashamed of herself for having fallen for his words... her lack of trust in him is no surprise. With that she walked away from him, her eyes welling with angry tears because much to her incredulity a part of her foolish heart still wanted to believe in him. Still... hope springs eternal, however foolish that might seem! And everyone yearns for love. "Yes, worse than an animal. A person who can murder someone is worse than an animal. I HATE you and I'm sure your wife must've hated you too and do you want to know why..! Because you are detestable... You do not deserve to be loved by anyone." Recalled to mind that heart-breaking scene in the show when a hurting Khushi lashed out at Arnav in a similar manner. But it was a singularly cold comfort, which didn't take long to convert into pain. Pain at having hurt him. Perhaps this fact gave her the first inkling of just how tangled her emotions were with his... poor girl, what a time to come to the realisation of how much he means to her! Watching her retreating back, Arnav's hurt eyes were bleak and hopeless and he felt a sense of loss that was almost like a physical pain... well, these two are linked by their mutual torment, now. With myriad emotions floating in his head, he felt acutely frustrated at being unable to process and express what he was feeling right now. He didn't know if what he felt for her was love or not or whether a thing called love even existed, all he knew with certainty at this point were his own reactions... his confusion is very vividly etched and quite palpable. He just couldn't let Khushi suffer like he had... a heart-warming notion... two hurting souls alleviating each other's suffering brings hope! Turning around, she saw him standing in shirtsleeves, looking old and haggard. Sans all his arrogance. Sans all his attitude... Inhaling a deep breath raspily, she knew she would never be able to stop herself from going to him. Not now... not ever. Not even if she got burnt over and over again... poignant, yet brings such a ray of hope. All the talking was done by their warm bodies that desperately clung to each other and their tears that wouldn't stop flowing today... Love was like a distant impossible dream they were too scared to even think of, let alone hope. For their scarred souls, just this warmth, this proximity, this connection with another human was enough. In the darkness, where they had dwelt for so long, even this had seemed like a foolish hope. They opened up to each other, ripping their souls apart and laying it bare with all its scars... painful yet powerful and beautiful images! That Arnav thought of escaping his personal hell by killing himself comes as no surprise. It was a kiss. It was a catharsis... such an understated, yet powerful ending that leaves us with the surety that it is a new beginning, that these two souls will overcome everything and finally get the peace and happiness they deserve.