Arhi FF: Labyrinth - Thread 2 Link posted - Page 21

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shr1234 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I'm late :(
I loved the chapter :) In a little sentence Arnav or Arjun shares 'the' truth of his childhood and seeks to know 'the' mystery of Shyama's blue lotus. It cannot be simple. Unlike Shyama I don't think he is being set by Vishwa or should I say Vishwa has described Arjun his role in detail and he has accepted it wholeheartedly. Because as Arjuna says "here is no distinction between the one with the secret and the one it's parted with"; he has accepted Shyama as his other half. See, he doesn't like her calling him Arnav.
He sounds a bit bitter while speaking of his lost sovereignty, was it snatched from him? Going by the epic it was and so I must say, the life and hardships of a commoner are the forests here. Labyrinth, what an apt name for a story based on Mahabharata! Eager to read the journey of Shyama and Arjun :)
-Mitra thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Part 8: Volley

Navigating my way around the towers of dabbas and large wicker baskets that blocked the entrance, I reached the other entry finding a nearly empty corner. The inside of the train was a living mausoleum of the smells of Mumbai - of unyielding cologne and women's perfume; of liquid excreta: pungent sweat and urine that put me under the illusion I had entered the underbelly of a sewer plant.

He followed close, but as I straightened to grab the rod that parted the entrance in the middle, I understood why that corner had been sparsely populated while the other areas were bustling with a viscous spread of men and women. A homeless man stood holding the rod, his body covered with a repulsive bout of carbuncles.

As he approached me, he noticed the indecision in my eyes. My breath shook and I stared at the destitute, perhaps for the first time clueless, unknowing if I should move giving away my ineptitude to stomach the distressing reality that pervaded the world outside my own. He hadn't challenged me, I was aware it wasn't a test of sorts and yet, I strangely felt compelled to tell him I was indifferent to everything around me.

I took a step back and he came to stand in front of me, shielding my afflicting view of the homeless man.

The train jerked forward. Over my obsessions with cleanliness that were less than inane in London and here, an utter insanity, I had not taken support. I was thrust forward and my hand scrunched below his collar, pulling him to me. A second later, I was stable, but much closer to him, encompassed by his towering form; stolen from the world and cached in his hold.

My back curved sensing his hand on the small of my back, but any small movement would sheathe his body against mine and I refrained from twitching inside his arm.

Looking up to him, I saw his eyes summon a dare to continue with the dispassion I had showed him only seconds ago. And now I was caught in my own web of pretensions, while his smile emblazoned the moment of my surrender.

"You have two options," he said, his words a warm bluster against my face, "you can either leave your hand where it's resting now, or I can let mine remain where it has curled up. Be assured that one of them have to be left where they are at present. Else you are bound to end up in that man's arms like this."

A threat I couldn't back out of, however I was also aware, I was better off anywhere but in the grasps of his tenacity. "I doubt that would be necessary."

I drew out and walked to the other corner of the compartment and needless to say, he came after.

"You don't take well to advise, do you?" he asked, settling beside me, putting himself between me and the opening, as I leaned against the divider by the seating area.

"Not that I see you take kindly to my objections. Your options sounded like a contest, not advise." I looked at him sideways and he still held a smile, like it was permanent fixture over his features; amiable and annoying.

"You forget that I had admiringly borne witness to your objections against Aditya taking up Dhri's instructions," he countered.

"Only because I'm a sister who knows her brother's choices well," being my retort.

"But not your own? Not because your father had presented crowning facts about me."

Ass! Our volley that raced back and forth felt unnecessary, but insightful and hence, I kept on.

"And you dismiss that I had nothing to gain from choosing you over others." Again! I exhaled realizing my slip. "I mean as my brother's instructor," I amended quickly and he didn't seem to have regarded that allusion.

"Well, you certainly did gain my approval," an intended pause and then he added, "may be even your family's approval with that choice."

"Perhaps..." I assented ambiguous in my whisper leaving him to assume if I had approved the former or the latter of his claims. I looked away wondering if he didn't think it was as cryptic as I had intended it to be.

His head slanted to one side to catch my gaze; a brow cocked up. "Well, I will live to see another day," his words taunting and impudent.

"You shouldn't desire to seek existence upon my words." I bit back, unawares of what I had said that instant and only coming to realize it after. "That is a bit edgy, don't you think?"

"Only a thousand desires, each worth dying for..." he said with a measured pace and his words prickled against my skin.

Though I was not the one to indulge in native poetry, you don't lose out on Mirza ghalib. Not when it was the rendering by a hopeless lover ready for eternal endurance towards his pious betrayal.

"Either you are a compulsive flirt or you have a quote book somewhere in there," I shifted in my place and pointed at his bag, "Don't ever be misguided to think its charming," I said ensuring I was mild in my rebuke.

"Be assured, I don't have a book." He winked.

"Are you like this with every women?" My head tipped heavy from the frustration that surfaced in me and I choked against the holds of an uncalled for jealousy.

He turned facing away from me, his eyes unseeing far into the swamps of houses that passed us. "It started with Subha," he said deferring my question. "She was my classmate from school. We practically grew up together, but she is married now and it would make me a lesser man if I continued quoting poetry to her."

His voice revealed no sadness, but the strain of collecting a far away memory cracked his voice a bit. Again, there had been no need to share that sacred pain from a former life, but he had toldme just the same; with that revelation he'd affiliated me with a small portion of his past, deepening the moment.

Despite what he'd proferred, I was far from speaking about mine.

"And here I thought your skills with the bow and arrow was enough to keep any woman in your life." I spoke after a repose making light of our conversation, without meaning any disrespect.

"Apparently not," his attention came back to me and he appeared to welcome my jest. "Not even if I fail to let the women go without so much as a mark," he said hinting at that morning's exchange. "To mark or not mark, being the big question. Perhaps, that is where I'm going wrong."

His innuendo didn't fail on me; the conversation seemed wrong at so many levels and I laughed shaking my head.

"Perhaps, its whats keeping you out of jail. Have you thought about that?" I suggested and raised my gaze to his.

His eyes was light - I had recalled it as a green deception and I began to consider if it wasn't all closed to me, but I changed my mind discerning it was an abyss nonetheless, a chasm that demanded my free fall with abandon.

"The station," he said, just as the brakes began to squeal, "we have to switch trains here, Kushi."

I waited until we got down. "Shyama," I corrected him this time.
Edited by -Mitra - 11 years ago
sman thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Wow super cool..love their attitude
Madhuri53 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
she first time saw how the real life of common people is...loved your way of describing what she saw surrounding her...what is her secret of blue lotus...seems there is more to that secret...loving their journey
jakhushi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
So his past does make an appearance... You sneaked that in so well 😊
It is well known that Draupadi had the most invigorating conversations with Arjun (other than with Krishna) and one of the reasons why she loved him the most... Love the way you have brought in their banter to express their equal intelligence.

⭐️
-Mitra thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: jakhushi

So his past does make an appearance... You sneaked that in so well 😊

It is well known that Draupadi had the most invigorating conversations with Arjun (other than with Krishna) and one of the reasons why she loved him the most... Love the way you have brought in their banter to express their equal intelligence.

⭐️


Awh, Thanks!

I will take your word that Krsha had the best conversations with Arjun in the epic, but in a modern setting she has to ;) if he is the one she is to marry. The standards are too high these days, you see.


-Mitra thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
NOTE
Ensure to leave a comment! No updates until I feel there is adequate response ;) And thanks to those who are kind enough to already do so.
Edited by -Mitra - 11 years ago
mklam thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Confession time. Subhadra was Arjun's love and here she's a fond memory. He is opening up to to khushi/shyama and thats a step forward. If she's jealous, that makes her human. I love the way you describe the smells and sights from the local trains in mumbai ...brings back memories of my college days. "underbelly of a sewer plant?"...ouch that really stinks!!

In another aside, pl check this out when you have a moment (link below) - Joseph Campbell's Monomyth theory which applies to all myths across cultures is fascinating as i read his "hero with a thousand faces"
http://davidrjolly.wordpress.com/2013/05/23/joseph-campbells-17-stages-of-the-heros-journey/
Edited by mklam - 11 years ago
Raila1014 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Wow she has an answer for all the volleys coming her way and a few aces of her own. I like the portrayal of this strong modern woman not afraid of speaking her mind even though she knows he is the chosen one for her. It feels like he is showing her the reality of his world and she has to decide how to adjust to it on her terms. I love how he let in the little piece of his life. I really like this character, no pretense at all in this man. To mark of not to mark, that is the question! He will mark this one I think.
Kalyaani thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

I so loved this volley, now this was no all sweat and adrenaline like a Federer vs. Nadal one but a very good verbal one none the less. The subtle manner in which you nudge readers to note a few points always leaves me wondering just how good the story telling is. Arjun does mention a friend and that particular friend was important, not too much is given away and the little that is revealed tells a lot. The conversation is interesting and goes to tell, Shyama can begin to see Arjun as someone she can have discussions on the same lines as Vishwas.

I noted the way Shyama corrected Arjun much like the way Arjun corrected her with the name they should be addressed with. They are equals after all.

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