Hi!!!!!!!!
First of all...
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope everyone has an amazing 2014 year. Let's make the best of it!!
Next matter of business, comes the story. I know I'm late and have probably lost some readers, but I'll take who ever is still with me! Hope you enjoy it!
"I want you. I want you to listen to me. I know I didn't give you that chance, and I regret it now, but please, Khushi, give me the chance to do something right, finally," Arnav pleaded as he firmly held on to her wrist, not willing to take no as an answer. He still had some of that stubbornness he was known for.
"Arnav, I said no. I don't care what you have to say anymore. Nothing you say or do will make a difference to me. Why should I listen to you? Or give you the chance?" she said firmly, ignoring what her heart was telling her. She wanted to listen to him, she wanted to give him the chance to redeem himself, because not of who she was, but because no matter what she said, she still loved him, she still dreamt about him, every mention of his name made her heart flutter. Standing here, so close to him, his hand touching her wrist, setting her skin aflame; his scent was doing crazy things to her brain, she was having a hard time keeping up her resistance even though she was the epitome of calm on the outside. She looked up into his eyes, the molten brown of them showing his true self. She didn't see the Laard Governor from AR, she didn't see the ruthless ASR that she had seen in meetings, and she didn't see the flirty Arnav she had gotten so used to the days before Payal's wedding. Here, she was seeing the real Arnav, the masks he had left behind. This was the most vulnerable he had ever allowed anyone to see and the fact that she was able to see this side of him, it spoke everything to her. This alone had rendered her speechless, but the next thing he would say would completely render her motionless.
"Because you still love me," he answered as if he had read her mind. But knowing this couple, it was probable.
Coming back to her senses, she regained her composure and replied, "No I don't. You may think you know me, Mr. Raizada, but..."
"Khushi! Why did you run off? What..." Priya caught upto them, but seeing them in the situation they were, her words died on her tongue as her eyes wandered down to thier hands. The hand that was being held by Arnav tightly. Upon seeing the scrutiny and confusion on her friend's face, she finally, with great difficutly, freed herself and took two steps back, trying to gain some distance between her and him.
"Nothing Priya. Let's go, we will be late," she said as she grabbed her friend's arm and started off. "Khushi, you can't leave." She heard his voice speak up again. She turned with great force, her hair lashing around her face, covering it from view for a second. Before she was able to say anything else, she heard another voice speak up, again.
"Khushi, stay, talk. I'll wait for you. We won't be late. Anyways, Abhay won't say anything. And you know that."
Khushi turned towards Priya again and glared at her knowing that she couldn't do anything now. She turned to Arnav and sighed in defeat. "Fine, but you have half an hour. There is a small cafe we can go to." She saw him smile softly and nod as they walked towards the cafe she had pointed out. Khushi led the way with Arnav following her. Once they were seated, and had received their drinks."
Arnav sighed, "Look, Khushi, I know i was wrong. I shouldn't have listened to him. I should have listened to you. I said I loved you, but in no way did I show you that love. With love comes trust. But i didn't trust you. I have always suspected women, every woman that i suspected was a threat to the ones I loved, and Shyam telling me what he did, I didn't see you as the woman I loved. Instead, I saw you as the woman that was hurting and betraying my sister. I saw you as the woman that would be the cause of my family falling apart once again. I lost my mother once because of someone else, I didn't want to lose my sister for the same mistake that my father had made. I'm so sorry, Khushi. I know I don't deserve you in my life, but please, give me the second chance.
Arnav looked down, not knowing what else to say, but knowing that no matter what he said, it would never be enough for the pain he caused her. But he also knew her, she would forgive him and not even care what happened. Khushi was the type of person that would forgive anyone that did anything to her.
"Khushi, I love you. You are more than the woman that I love, I can't live with you. These two years have been miserable. And I have deserved every day of it. I'm barely living, but seeing you today, I feel as if I am dreaming. Just tell me the truth. I didn't give you the chance for you to speak that day. I'm giving it to you now. You can say whatever you wish, Khushi. But don't lie. If you truly don't care, I will leave you be, just like I said. But I will always love you. " Arnav finished with a sigh, glad to have that off his chest. As much as he was relieved to say what he had to say, he was afraid of her reaction. Once, Khushi used to be an open book for him, he could easily tell when she was angry or upset or irritated. But for the first time since he met her all that time ago, he couldn't figure out what she would say. "Please, at least forgive me, Khushi."
She sat there for the longest time. She knew everything, the reason he had done everything, but it still took her time for it to sink in. Only because she was actually hearing him admit it to her. She had decided a long time ago, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't even understand herself and the logic behind her decision. He had always been a Rakshas towards her, always causing her some kind of harm and pain, weather it was dropping her from his cabin or it was forcing her into a contract marriage. But he was also caring and loving towards her. When she was stuck in the building, he had come for her in the middle of the night, he had bought her bangles cause hers were too small and he had danced with her so she would win at her sister's sangeet. Ever since he had come into her life, nothing made sense anymore. The same man she hated, she couldn't live without. She needed to have her head examined.
She finally looked up - after minutes of staring at the corner of her dupatta in her hands - into his eyes and knew that her decision was right. "I can't forgive you, Arnav," she whispered softly.
If he wasn't listening, he wouldn't have heard her soft voice, but the words made him made him wish he hadn't. "Khushi, please. Don't say..." he was interrupted by her hand coming up in front of his face, in a stopping motion. He closed his eyes as the smell of her lotion traveled the distance to him and engulfed his senses. She still used the jasmine and rose lotion he always loved on her. He opened his eyes and looked at her, waiting for her, holding his breath.
"I can't forgive you because I forgave you a long time ago. Part of loving someone is being able to forgive them for their mistakes. I have always loved you, Arnav. Even when you thought the worst of me, I had complete faith in you that you would do the right thing and eventually find out about him. I still do love you and I always will. Forgiveness is part of love. If you can't forgive them, then the love isn't there. Even if the trust is broken, forgiveness repairs it. No matter what happens, you will always have my trust and love." She took a breath after expressing her feelings.
Yes, she still loved him. But she didn't know weather she could be a part of his life or if she could let him be part of hers. Even if she had forgiven him, the pain was still there. She couldn't get over that. She might trust him, but she didn't know if he could. He so easily believed false stories about Shyam, he could make the same mistake again. And that was when she realized what she had to do. "I love you, Arnav. But that doesn't mean I'm giving you that chance again. I don't want to see you again, Mr. Raizada," she said as she got up.
As easily as she had made him the happiest man alive, she had crushed his heart once again in a matter of few seconds. As he watched her get up, he realized he had lost. The great ASR had lost. All the money, all the power he possessed, it would do nothing to keep his love from walking away, and out the door. At that moment, he wished to a God he had never believed in. The two years that had passed, he hadn't once tried anything to restore his faith in the deity his Khushi believed in. Because all that time, he still believed that he would find her and take her back. He had hired multiple private investigation agencies to find her. He, himself had taken it upon himself to find every way to find her.
But sitting in the cafe, hearing what she had to say, he realized that he could only make his destiny so much. No matter how powerful he was or how scary he was to the outside world, he couldn't have everything go his way when it came to Khushi.
"I'm sorry Arnav. But we are two different people. You have trust issues, yet you will believe what others say. I agree we have that love, but I don't know if you trust me. I can't live a life like that. I don't want to live a life like that. I suggest you move on a make a new life for yourself just as I have."
As much as that had hurt Khushi to say it, she knew she had to. It was the only way to make him see sense. She knew what she would be losing and how much of a lie that was. But a lie never hurt if it was going to save someone a lot of pain in the future.
Arnav looked up at her in surprise. He stood up and walked around the table to her. He held her hands and watched her face. "A life like yours? If you love me so much, how can you allow another man to touch you like this." He moved his hands farther up to her arms. "And like this?" He snaked one arm around her waist. "Does he touch you like this, Khushi?" He brought his other hand to her cheek, but not touching her skin. He moved his hand to brush away a stray hair and only then did he allow his hand any contact with her skin, as he gently stroked her cheek.
Her silence was driving him crazy. He needed his answer and she wasn't givin him any. "Answer me, Khushi. How does he touch you? How do you let him touch you?"
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