Smitar's: Loving Khushi #3 Part 9(1A,1B) Pg 106 22/8 - Page 83

Last three updates read at a go . Loved them all . Everything in place for him to win back his Khushi . Great job . Am looking forward to the next part .

Nice Update Smita. Enjoyed it very much!😉

Nice Update Smita. Enjoyed it very much!😉

Hope all thiswork for them...i rerally dont want her to leave...just cant think of them getting separated...even for a day...SMITHA...

beautiful interpretation rashmi...
( i neverknew all these words... Even existed...thanku...)

Originally posted by: rulama

Smita,😊

Here is the interpretation to Section 3 of Part 7.

This update is an acknowledgement of error or guilt, MEA CULPA.

What is mea culpa?

Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that translates into English as "my mistake", "my fault", or in a more modern slang-tilted tone, it can even mean "my bad".

The origin of the expression is from a prayer of confession of sinfulness used in the Mass of the Roman Catholic Church known as Confiteor.

In the popular vernacular, the expression mea culpa is an admission of having made a mistake by one's own fault, one that could have been avoided if the person had been more diligent. When a person admitted to his mistake, which he could have avoided (at least in theory), and that resulted in a subsequent evil, it may be called mea culpa.

Arnav cupping Khushi's face and making her look at him, heaved a weary sigh when he told her that his father being a weak person, fell prey to a pretty woman and forgot his wife and kids. His mother had taken out her life all because of him and he had killed himself out of his guilt. Di's wedding had got cancelled and they were rendered without a roof on their head. Arnav relived his past, replaying the scenes in his mind. Though his words were simple they had painted his pain and admitted the deep sense of loss he felt. Khushi shut her eyes as tears that had trickled, now flowed down her cheeks like torrential rains. Arnav looking at her wet face told her, that he was determined not to follow his footsteps, for he was his mother's son, not his father's. He was not a weakling like him. He was determined to prove this to himself and the world, to his family that expected him to be like his father. He acknowledged that he had loathed his father so much that he had given up his name, to keep even his shadow at bay, to grow up as different from him as possible and feeling his heart beat for a girl was not in his agenda, it was not a part of his plan for his future. His words made Khushi look down and Arnav cupped her face to make her look at him. In a low tone, he admitted the regret he felt for subjecting her to all the humiliation he had heaped. All the while what he really felt was way too different from what he had doled out to her, and he confessed, that seeing her sitting amidst the circle of diyas, in a red saree, looking like a princess with a soft golden glow, he had lost his heart. His defense, that he had never known that he would feel his heart beat for somebody else other than him, had Khushi draw in a deep trembling breath. He tried to redress, by substantiating his words saying, that his locker was filled with her keepsakes. He still has her pearls from the dress he had ripped off at Sheesh Mahal, as he had found, they had made themselves comfortable in his coat pocket, just the way she had chimed into his heart. Hearing his words, Khushi gaped at him. He continued saying, the piece of dupatta that had stuck to his rear view glass, her broken bangle, her anklet, his blood stained handkerchief used for cleaning the cut on her finger at the temple, all were safe and sound in his locker. All these were the relics he treasured the most.

Arnav, running a gentle finger down her ashen wet cheek told her, that in reparation, he had come to return her anklet to her, once he came to know that it was a treasured piece of her's, her Amma's, that made her feel her Amma's presence with her. She had sprained her ankle and he had set it right. He could not go away from her without giving her the answers, the silent query that her eyes were seeking. She had wanted to know why he was in possession of her payal, and he had wanted to tell her. It was an enchanted evening. He had been drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, He was so caught up in his own feelings that he had never even spared a thought about what he was doing, the implication of his actions, its impact on the future. The innocence in her eyes, the reluctant attraction to him that she could not hide, her response to his touch that was involuntary, all added to the allure. He explained that her eyes were an open book of her emotions and it was as though they were beckoning him.

His words made her relive the Diwali night. Their minds rested upon the thought, as chasing butterflies might rest together on a flower. He confessed, when he was about to kiss her for which he was very much eager to, Aman's call was a dampener but was also a wake-up call. It was a rude awakening for Arnav Singh Raizada! He could not believe that he had lost his self-control. He was incredulous that he had been about to reveal his weakness to the girl who had been undermining his self-control for the past few months. He was filled with disbelief that he had been about to give in to his weakness, just like his father. Arnav Singh Raizada could not let that happen! As an offer of extenuation and explanation to himself, he had decided that she who was able to get under his skin had no place in his life. For that matter, no girl had any place in his life. She had to be shunted out quickly and effectively. But she mattered to him very much, as she was able to reach where no one else had been able to, as her dazzling eyes could make him drown in its liquid brilliancy like a deep ocean where underneath, her trembling emotions would make him forget himself and his past. How could he let that happen! How could ASR forget his past and yield to this attraction for her? What would he be then? A weakling! A clone of his father! That meant he would be everything that he had strived himself not to be! At one fell swoop his efforts of the past decade would come to a naught if he gave in to his attraction for her. His plea was, it meant ASR would come apart at seams and would be in the very centre of all that he abhorred, laid bare. He would be right where he started, without the benefit of his arrogance as his armour, without his ego as his shield. And without these ASR was nothing and would have gone into oblivion. He asked Khushi, what Arnav would have done without the backing of the ASR mask that had become his spine, that held him ramrod straight to face the world? He would have been hurt, tricked, cheated, trampled upon, his heart knifed by betrayal, by loss. He would have been weak, vulnerable and a relatively soft target. In his guilt, he acknowledged, by thinking, it would have opened his chest, opened up his heart and it meant that she could get inside him and mess him up. So the only viable solution was to oust her out of ASR's life, out of RM, out of his mind, his dreams, his heart. That was the only thing that would have helped him to survive and that was what ASR did.

His words, penetrated her like nothing else could. It made her relive the pain. So she did what she was adept at doing. She hid it by averting her eyes from his range of vision as Khushi could not meet his gaze for the black miasma of their despair was coiling around them. Without giving himself any concession, he pushed himself to continue saying, that he tried his level best to pluck her out from his heart and his orbit. She had cried, asking him the questions for which he was unable to give any answers. While she stood steadfastly rooting for their love and fought tooth and nail to keep it alive, he had fought to deny it and squelch it at all possible times and in all possible ways. Arnav acknowledged that she knew, she was perceptive enough to know that they were in the middle of something momentous that was experienced by just a blessed few. Even in her innocence she knew it and loving deeply she had the courage to stand by it, whereas even in ignorance knowing what love was all about, he had to shunt her out to save his sanity, to survive. Arnav gathered Khushi in his arms nestling her against his heart while his arms wound around her.

He told her that, the look she had in her eyes, tear filled with surging pain, betrayal, and browbeaten, as he announced his intention to get betrothed to Lavanya, has been etched in his mind. It was like making her have a real giddy horror of stars and seas, like a man has on the edge of a hopelessly high precipice, throwing her into a a deep abyss that would envelop all around in darkness, He admitted that her vulnerable look, had him writhing and scorched him intensely like a steady flame. He will never forget it till his last breath. He had hurt her immensely and each of her tear was like a drop of molten lead, burning a passage to his heart with its downpour. So saying, he uttered his heartfelt apology, saying that he was extremely sorry. But Khushi was silent, as silent as a flame that fails. She had her wet face against his and had looped her arms around his neck. Keeping on his narration, Arnav conceeded, that was not the worst. Worst was yet to come. That night regaining her composure she had smiled, had wished, distributed sweets and had a smile on her face as she congratulated him in the car. All these had struck a raw nerve, though he had portrayed as though he could not give a hoot. He was all worked up, so much so, that in a fit of pique, he had uttered the cruel words that night at her doorstep. He regretted going off the deep end very much. He had not wanted her to return to RM. He explained that the words were infact a warning to him, reminding him of how uncharacteristic his actions were, how susceptible he was to her. Arnav said, the problem was never her. It was always him and only him.

Khushi moving away from his embrace and rested her back against the pillows. Brushing her tears aside with her fingers, she looked at him. He admitted to her, that if on Diwali night he had hurt her he had hurt himself much more. He had not been able to put her out of his mind, thinking of her, worrying about her throughout the day and night. It was like a bee in the bonnet. Everytime anyone uttered her name, it was like a red flag to a bull and he would go ballistic. And watching her leave after Di and the others bid farewell to her, he had an inkling of what he was losing. She returned the mannat ki chabi to him, and he followed her to the temple to bandage her finger. When he saw the guarded look in her eyes as she saw him, he almost died, as though he was knifed and it was being slowly twisted inside him! It hurt badly as she was trying to push him away, push him out of her heart just as he did, so that she could survive. His admission and perception made her throat constrict.

Arnav knowing his words were essential to clear the air, eventhough it was causing both immense pain, eventhough she looked at him with hurtful eyes, he persisted and said, that when she stopped him from tending to her wound, he could not bear it. How could she stop him from touching her, when he had been touching her whenever he wanted, where ever he wanted, for months? When she was his and only his? He admitted that everything that he had said that day in the temple, about making his own destiny, about writing his own fate were meant to remind him of his past, how far he had come from being a helpless teenager, unable to stop his mother from killing herself, or his father from following her to the pyre. He caught Khushi's hand and pressed her fingers gently, looking at the finger that he had bandaged.

When she had pulled her hand away as he tried to make her wear the ring, saying that it was her engagement ring, a part of him had died. At that moment, getting wise after the event, he realized eventhough he had been trying to push her away from him by hiding behind Lavanya who was a friend and never a threat to his heart, she had put herself out of his life, his reach, his orbit just as he had shown he wanted to happen and had let someone else in to her life. Though it was justified, the folly of his action hit him so hard that he realized what a blunder, a blunder of Himalayan proportion it was! When she queried, why it meant so much to him, he could not find the words. He had stopped at farak padta he kyunki... why it made a difference, because he himself did not know farak kyon pad raha tha... why it was making a difference. He just knew that it mattered more to him than his very own life. His voice was slowly getting low and tired.

As Arnav leaned against Khushi, lying against her, burrowing his face in her chest, his arms collected her close, taking and giving succour. Khushi too wound her arms around him, slowly pulling him more firmly in to her hold. As he whispered against her, his weary breath caused the dupatta to flutter gently. He continued to tell that from then on, it was an uphill task. Trying to get back his girl, the girl he had lost through his sheer stupidity, was no mean task. While Lavanya was shopping for her trousseau and discussing cruises for honeymoon and his family who were as pleased as punch had been turning every moment in to a high drama, he said, he could not even think straight. He had wanted her to admit, as him being the one who mattered to her and not her fianc. He wanted her to toss out the ring and return in to his arms. He wanted her to come back to him but he was not sure what he would do if she came back to him! His mind had blocked out from thinking over this. All he knew was, he wanted her back with him. He was abusive, cutting, scathing, hurtful in his pain. As though it was a vindication, he had lashed out at her for getting engaged after he himself had shoved her into another man's arms. So saying, feeling distraught, he snuggled in to her softness, weary beyond words.

He sought her forgiveness and said that an unforeseen case of heebie jeebies hit him as she went missing after crying on his shoulder. He was like a cat on hot bricks. Panicking, he had called her several times before the call was received. With the storm that was brewing inside him gathering forces with every passing second, having been driven up the wall by her unanswered calls, he gave vent to his spleens when she picked her phone. Giving her a tongue lashing was what he could only do, as he was at his tethers end unable to do anything, feeling helpless and above all it was his own doing that had bound him in shackles! He explained that the ripple effect of his behavior might have been Lavanya sensing that he had loved Khushi and not her and led to not get engaged. Leading on Lavanya, having her float on cloud nine with his impromptu announcement of getting engaged and then, leaving her with a heartache of knowing she was not the one he loved, was the price he had made Lavanya pay for falling for him and the price he had to pay of hurting a good friend, by withdrawing after showing her the carrots, was feeling like a cad for hurting her. Though he had felt that he hurt Lavanya immensely, the relief he felt overweighed the prick on his conscience! He justified his action saying it was a relief that he was not committed to a person he did not want to be committed to, relief that he had pulled back from the brink of a mistake that would have made every one unhappy in the long run. As he narrated sleep, slurred his words.

Khushi sat silent, holding him safe in her arms, as he burrowed further in to her warmth. He recalled that as he opened the door, she was there, all dressed up for her Jiji and Akash, and also for his and Lavanya's engagement. She was looking all set to dance the night away sporting a bright smile on her face. Seeing her standing there, holding a gift in her hand, for him and Lavanya, it had pierced his heart and brought him down to his knees, at the total lack of malice or even an iota of self-pity in her eyes. She was genuinely happy that Lavanya was getting what she wanted and he was getting what he had said he wanted. Khushi swallowed through a dry throat, reliving the painful times. Though it was painful he stuck on course and said, she had danced at what she had thought was his sagai, with her smile intact all the while. How could she, was his poser at her enigmatic behavior. Lifting his eyes to peer in to hers, his head still resting against her bosom he said, he just could not fathom how she could do so. Khushi shut her eyes hit by the waves of pain that engulfed her and leaned back against her pillow. Arnav, seeking her warmth nuzzled his face against her once again. He kept on pouring his thoughts saying, she had chided him for breaking Lavanya's heart, and inadvertently let him know that her sagai was broken. The relief had rushed over in palpable waves. Reliving the moment and drowning himself in the misery, confessing his faults, his words were slurring with sleep as well as remorse, when he said, Khushi, I can't tell you... Khushi... I am so sorry... so sorry... so sorry... lo siento muchos, I am very sorry. It was a penitent voice that was acknowledging the guilt and seeking her forgiveness. His voice died away as he was lulled into a few hours of kip, from the relief and the sense of feeling of being at home in the warmth of her arms.

As Arnav Singh Raizada admitted to his mistake, which he could have avoided, the one that resulted in a subsequent evil, a ripple effect of his deeds, it may be called mea culpa.

"Each memory rips through me, and although I stow myself against the emotions, I can't prevent the pain that accompanies each image. Pain for a love never acknowledged, pain for a friendship now gone. Pain for a loss I can't possibly endure"

~ Christine Fonseca, Mea Culpa

That is why it is titled MEA CULPA, the guilt acknowledgement.

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

for Section 4 of Part 7...

Originally posted by: rulama

Smita,

Here is the interpretation to Section 4 of Part 7.

This update is about a state of disturbance, confusion or uncertainity. It is TURMOIL.

Arnav opened his eyes after a good sleep that had evaded him for a long time, to see sunlight streaming into his room in its full radiance, with no shadows cast in his garden announcing that it was noon. In his restlessness,as he murmured, Khushi, he sensed his cheek was pillowed by something soft, warm, his Khushi. He lifted his face from her bosom to look at her.She was sleeping like a log, dead to the world. In her sleep her face had relaxed and there was a cherubic innocence radiating from her and it was like aphrodisiac to him. Arnav melted at the sight that greeted him as soon as he opened his eyes. With disquiet he wished, if only he was blessed with being able to welcome each new day in his life in her arms how blissful it would be! His caramel eyes softened to a dreamboat expression and his hands smoothed the wayward tress that was blocking him from appreciating the smooth fair skin and tucked them behind her ears. Khushi moved restlessly in her sleep, rolling over, swung her slender legs over his hip. Once she found a comfortable position she slipped into her sleep. An amused, tender smile played on Arnav's lips as his thoughts dwelt on her taekwondo poses while he relished the feel of her against him. A knock at the door woke him up from his reverie. It was Mamiji knocking at his door, hollering out, Arnav Bitwaa! Khushi Bitiyaa! it was nearing noon and lunchtime. Were they of no intention to get up? Already having missed their breakfast, were they both intent on missing their lunch too? An amused Arnav called out, that they would be coming. Khushi who was awakened by the din, Mami's words shook her out of her sleep and she looked into the smiling face of her husband. As he murmured, Khushi, she stared at him for a moment disoriented and jumped out of the bed, like a jack in the box, in a flurry, grabbing her clothes ran into the ensuite bathroom. Arnav gazed at the back of Khushi, who breezed into the bathroom, with a smile dancing on his lips.

Anjali joined the rest for lunch and the whole family shared the meal. It was a happy time with all laughing at NK's jokes and at the rapid flow of comments from Mami. It was noticed by Arnav, that Khushi though seated by Arnav was all smiles at the rest, while she was hell bent on evading his eyes. Being in dithers, Khushi had ensured that her glance never met his, as the revelations of the night were eating into her resolve to leave and she could not let that happen. Arnav addressing his Di told her that Mr. Roy would come over at 2 p.m. They needed to meet him. All her assets had been transferred back to her. Anjali nodded as she smiled. She had completely forgotten all about it in her distress and that was the last thing on her mind. As Arnav informed her of closure of the joint account, Anjali silently acknowledged with a nod without much ado. Arnav hesitated to continue, and all others looked at him and Anjali knowing that more pain was in store for her. When he said very tentatively, that Mr.Roy would be discussing with her about her legal status and whatever she deems fit could be made possible, Anjali in a low, yet clear and firm voice without any mix-up of emotions told her Chotey, that she wanted a divorce at the earliest, without letting Shyam Manohar Jha rip her off even a single paisa. The family collectively heaved a sigh of relief. Arnav informed her that he has availed the services of a private detective to dig into Shyam's past, open up a can of worms for him. He was confident that they could muster enough ammunition to strengthen their case and would harry, hassle and hound him if necessary. Arnav paused looking at Khushi. Khushi looked at him with a query filled eyes. Arnav in a soft voice, haltingly informed, his Di, Khushi and Payal that, when Shyam had asked Buaji for Khushi's hand in marriage, Babuji had been suspicious of him. With all eyes fixed on him, grasping Khushi's hand under the table, giving her the support to withstand the impact of what he would come out with, he continued to say, that Babuji had followed him one day to the temple and had seen both, Shyam and Di. He saw Shyam filling her maang and she had tried to seek his blessings touching his feet. That was when Babuji realized that Shyam was a married man. His words evoked loud gasps around the table. Nani exclaimed that Shashiji had knowledge of Shyam's duplicity! Mami voiced out her confusion aloud in her Hinglish, then why did he not tell them or throw him out of their house? Nani countering her daughter-in-law defended Shashi saying, how he could tell them when he had a stroke and was unable to communicate. She went further to say, that it looked as though finding out about Shyam had caused him his ailment, the stroke! Arnav corrected his Nani that, finding out the truth about Shyam had not caused the stroke. It was Shyam who had caused it by attacking him and throwing away his medicines... His words, shocked the rest just like a bird landing on a live wire would be. The silence that pervaded had a ghost like quality. They could not comprehend that such evil could exist in a man, that too in one who had lived amidst them. The distress was evident for all to see. Khushi's eyes pooled with tears and it trailed down her smooth cheeks silently. Arnav tightened his hold on her hand. Payal sobbed covering her mouth with her hand and Akash placed his hand on her leg and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Arnav narrated that Babuji knew Shyam was a married man, but what he did not know was, who was Di. Babuji realized she was his sister when she had been to Gupta House with Akash's proposal to Payal. That was the reason for Babuji getting agitated when he saw Di. All were shocked to hear it. They wondered at the capacity to damage by one rotten apple! Nani asked her Devi Maiyya, would the trials and tribulations of the Raizadas never end? Anjali, distraught at not believing Khushi and Payal, but placing her faith in her scoundrel of a husband who was silver-tongued and crooked as a dog's hind leg, apologized to Khushi and Payal. Though she was utterly tired of trying to grasp in the extent of the ever growing vicious nature of Shyam, who had been gentleness personified with them before, with disquietude, in a low voice she managed to say that, she was sorry for marrying such an excuse for a man, sorry for believing in him, sorry for not believing in them. While Khushi tried to brush her tears with a shaking hand, Payal tried very hard to stop crying but it met with very little success. Amidst her tears, Khushi managed to say in a wobbly voice, that it was not her fault. She too was as much a victim of that diabolic man as they were. Payal added to it saying, that they had not known who he was. She too was unaware of his true identity. They had never thought him to be lower than a snake's belly. He had managed to take them for a ride while they had treated him like a sibling.

As the door bell rang, HP who attended the door, came in to inform the arrival of Mr. Roy. All dispersed from the table with a heavy heart. Arnav, uncaring of being seen by the family, kissed Khushi's cheek. Akash did a double take at the sight of his undemonstrative, stringent brother kissing Khushiji, but seeing is believing, in this case! When Khushi whispered that she wanted to see her Babuji, Arnav, realizing the ferment going on inside her whispered back, to take Payal and go home. He asked her to avail the services of Mohan to drop them and he would come to pick them up later when the meeting with Mr.Roy got over. As she nodded, he asked her to inform her Amma and Buaji, as they were unaware of it. It was then Khushi realized what his talk with Babuji was about and asked him so. He affirmed her thoughts and informed her, that Babuji too had filed a case against Shyam. Hugging her close he whispered against her hair to call him once she reached home, making her bob her head in agreement. When the meeting with Roy prolonged, Akash offered to fetch Payal and Khushi as it was getting quite late. As Arnav concurred with him, Akash's phone rang. Arnav had switched off his phone after receiving Khushi's call that she had reached Laxmi Nagar safely, for he hated to be disturbed by the phone while discussing things that were pretty tumultuous, yet a relief to the family. He needed to focus himself sharply on to the work at hand for they were dealing with the trickster Shyam Manohar Jha with a legal bent of mind. The call was from Payal and Akash told her that he would come to pick them both. As Akash spoke, Arnav found his attention drift on to the call. He found the tone of Akash's voice change from enthusiasm to a resigned disappointment and ask, so she wanted to stay overnight there, is it? made him anxious. His words had Arnav turn pale. After listening to Payal for a few seconds, Akash told her that he understood and it was fine for her to stay there that night.

Feeling uncertain, gripped by a sense of restlessness,as Arnav switched on his phone, he found three missing calls from Khushi logged in. Excusing himself to Mr. Roy he called her. Khushi, who picked his call told him, that she would prefer to stay at Gupta House that night as her Amma and Buaji had been very upset after listening to Shyam being the cause for her Babuji's woes. Both had been filled with lather of indignation at not being able to see through things, had been crying since noon, blaming themselves for trusting Shyam and leaving Babuji in his care whenever they needed to go out to meet the doctor or get provisions. Arnav could only be a silent listener as he could say nothing on that. Stewing in his own juice for having added the clause of six months contract in their marriage, feeling down in the dumps with time against him, all he could say was that he would pick her up in the morning. When Khushi offered to come by rickshaw and stated that he need not take the trouble, she was cut short by his curt statement that he would come over to pick. His tone made it clear that it was not open for discussion. He was troubled that the time was ticking away while things were not set right yet.

Arnav, after dinner was on pins and needles. Pacing the room, he felt that without Khushi his room was empty. He felt stressed out at not being able to have her near and looked at his laptop that was beckoning him to work but it held no lure. Laxmi, who was wandering along the corridor, poked her snout in. At Arnav's invitation, she took a step in and looked around. Not finding Khushi who would be ready with treat for her, along with intelligent conversation, she gingerly stepped back on her four legs, turned, and left the room making Arnav stare at her retreating figure, feeling helpless, unwanted and alone. It added its bit to his already turbulent mind.

As he looked at the clock he found that it had struck twelve. So he was left with just six more days, six more days to win Khushi over, to convince her to give him a second chance, to keep her with him till the end of time. He was racing against time, and this was one time bound life-time project that he needed to clinch to survive. These thoughts made him restive. Arnav rubbed his chest feeling it constrict, an unusual tightness appearing over there. Pacing furiously, he flung himself into devising ways and means to keep Khushi with him. He looked at his neatly made bed, though tired, he did not feel like sleeping without Khushi. He continued pacing, with his mind engrossed. As he stood by the French door opening to the poolside and he watched the sleeping plants, a gentle cool breeze played with the curtains and blew it against his face. Arnav shut his eyes, feeling the soft touch, reminding him of Khushi's feather like touch that always rejuvenated him just like a fresh, cool breeze. His mind responded to his thoughts by interlacing the flickering images of various incidents. He remembered the wonderful moments of sharing a bed with Khushi on New Year's Eve, Khushi dancing to Desi Girl, Khushi in his arms as supple as the neck of a swan as they danced to Teri Meri. The song had never appealed to him before he had danced to it with her, saving her from sure defeat and public humiliation. The joyous moments of the mehendi function, returning her earring, taking immense pleasure from her nervousness at his nearness, catching her out with the 'A' written in her mehendi by the mehendi lady by mistake. The blissful memory of, the kiss he had stolen by the pool, Khushi meeting his challenge and kissing him the next day right in front of all, made a smile tease his lips. The recollection of Khushi taking the sari of his choice, and her brilliant smile directed at him, turning back to look at him, made his heart swell with love. The terror he had experienced at the thought of her being taken away in the ambulance was still capable of making his blood run cold! NK had escaped being torn in to pieces by the skin of his teeth.

Recalling her effervescent happiness in the bangles he had bought for her made Arnav smile. Clutching the curtain, he smiled at those memories that made him feel he had sprouted wings to soar sky high. Jogging the memory, surprising his family by going to Buaji's house with Payal's joda just to see Khushi, helping her serve food, his smile widened. Just the thought of the time, when the Guptas had arrived for the wedding, the blush on her face and the bashfulness in her eyes, that were sparkling like pearls, casting a heavenly light with happiness as they had wandered around to meet his eyes, made his own eyes twinkle with happiness! Reminiscing the wonderful memories where he had shown his cheekiness, making her flustered, the right with which he had demanded to talk to her, her hesitant query about what, and his authoritative answer, just need to talk, the way in which he had crowded her against the mirror and played a trick on her with her bindi... all brought in a pleasant smile on his face.

This also brought in the parallel thoughts, the bitter ones that had led to the debacle, making Arnav swallow hard. Though his happy thoughts were strong, the disorder in his life caused by the error in his judgement had much more bearing on his future. He could not let that overpower the happiness he could ever get. He wondered what if Shyam had not written that message on the mirror? What if Khushi had not gone to the terrace? What if he had got a chance to talk to Khushi? What would he have done? He asked himself what would have been the possible outcome. Arnav looked at the pool. It was reflecting the stars that were his hope, his thoughts, his reflection. He would have completed what he had left hanging on Diwali night. He would have kissed her tenderly, then hard, then slowly, then demandingly, then he would have known what bliss really was and he too had the right to it. Knowing that she reciprocated his feelings, she too felt the same as him when they were near each other as well as when away from each other, he would have declared his love to her, told her why it makes a difference and would have asked her to marry him. She would have gladly consented and both the families would have been on cloud nine and on the 15^th of August, both Payal and Akash and also Khushi and he would have been celebrating six months of wedded bliss. But he was a Raizada! Happiness was something as elusive as the sheet lightning playing around the June clouds! It never came easily for them. He fervently hoped his efforts to win her back would not be like pouring water into a sieve. This thought stirred him and made him sigh and his lashes spiked wet glistened on his closed eyes.

When Khushi looked at her, Payal with a shy smile asked her, doesn't it feel strange to sleep in their old bed together, after so many months? Khushi tried to put on a smile that was reluctant to display on her face. The calmness she displayed belied the turbulence filled inside her and she knew within a few more days, she would be sleeping permanently over here alone, that was if Buaji doesn't shunt her out when her contract marriage becomes the common knowledge. Not knowing what was going on in Khushi's mind, oblivious to her distress, Payal said that she had been worried for her. She had wondered how Khushi would be able to sleep alone after her marriage, given the fact, they had not been separated since the day they had become one family. That matter never arose, as she did not have to spend even one single night alone. Arnavji saw to that. When Payal giggled, Khushi turned her face away in distress while Payal thought it was to hide her flaming cheeks!

Payal asked her, blushing herself, does she remember the time, when they had spoken about marrying brothers so that they could live together all their lives? Did she ever think it would turn out to be like now? Khushi truthfully told her that she never dreamt it to be so and sighed inwardly for her life that was rife with strife. Payal with a grateful heart admitted, it was all thanks to Arnavji that she could marry Akash. Otherwise, who would have let his brother marry a girl from a poor family like theirs? Khushi concurred that it was all due to Arnavji, but her sister had no idea what Khushi meant, she had no idea that Khushi was in fact blaming him for all the pandemonium in her life and turning her world topsy-turvy! As Payal fell into a deep slumber, Khushi got up from the bed, walked towards the window of her room. She saw the moon glowing and the stars twinkling against the backdrop of the sky. Her eyes glistened with a sheen of tears. It was a mirror reflection of the sky. Her fair face was like the moon seen in the darkness of her room and her eyes were like stars in the midnight waters glistening. For Khushi knew that her days at RM were numbered. After six days, she would be walking out of RM, as Khushi Kumari Gupta. Her love was difficult to be trusted, her future was unknown, her life was in turmoil. With a sinking heart, she wondered what the future held for her and sought the answers from the two stars that were shining brightly, looking at their little daughter who was braving through the world all alone.

"Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?"

~ Leo Buscaglia

That is why it is titled TURMOIL.

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.