Arhi OS: Broken Part 2 Pg11 2/9 (complete) - Page 8

This is it. How am I supposed to cope with this? I know I had agreed on breaking up with her before she left, but now I cant. I just cant get myself to leave her. Everyday, every night, all I can think about is the time I spent with her.

All those memories, those times, everything, how was I supposed to let go off them? How am I supposed to act like nothing ever happened?

I love her, did that mean nothing? Did my feeling never have any importance in her life? I want her in my life, forever. Why was I not allowed to make any decisions in out relationship? Wasn't it supposed to be mutual? Well I guess, no. I guess me, my feelings, my decisions were not important. Yet, I cant stop loving her.

She left, to never look back. I tried, I tried my best to make her talk to me but she refused. She said she had nothing to do with me.

Anya. That was her name. My love. She left me like I never meant anything to her. Now what?

Well, I had stopped meeting anyone. Acting civil was the toughest of all. I could slowly feel myself sinking, feeling low, maybe even depressed, till the time came when I felt nothing. All those voices were going unheard. All those people were becoming invisible.

The only one who I could face was my best friend. She was the only sanity in my life right now. The only one, who could make me think, feel, see and hear. She was the light in the darkness that surrounded me. Khushi, just like her name suggested. My happiness.

She was the only person who could understand what I was going through. She was the only person who knew what I wanted, my actions and my reactions. I could cry in front of her without fearing my reputation.

She tried and I could see it. She tried to get me back but I was not helping her. She came everyday, trying to console me, make me do all those things that had once come naturally to me. Playing mischief, being the carefree guy who was loved by everyone was now hated by them all.

"Arnav come back please." He had heard her cry many times but he could do nothing.

He had time and again told himself that he was no more the "Arnav" he used to be. He was now a guy who had become a self- centered jerk who cared about no one except himself. He no more believed in others, trust was not even in his list.

He would write poems to convey his feelings. He didn't know what was happening anymore. He could feel things change but none of it made sense anymore.

He heard people talking about him. He had heard them bad mouthing him and this had angered him. He was getting into regular physical fights but he didn't care. He sometimes thought himself to be a Bollywood love-sick puppy who was moaning the death of his lover, and this had irritated him. He wanted to become the old him but it just wasn't happening.

He had asked his friends about the rumors and who had started them and the only answer he got from all of them was Khushi'. His Khushi. He had decided to blindly believe them that his Khushi was behind it all and what did he do? Well, quite easy, he had ignored her.

He started behaving his she didn't exist. He had heard her trying to talk to him, trying to get him talk to her, ask him why he refused to talk and when none of those worked she had even yelled at him, trying to get some sense into his head, but him being the egoistic stubborn guy, refused to talk.

For weeks she would try to talk to him until one day when he thought of giving her another chance, afterall, she was his best friend. She asked him why he had ignored her but he had told her to forget it all and never question him again and well she being the forgiving girl, left him at that.

This kept happening for almost 8 months. He kept taking her for granted. He had still not realized his mistake. He was still a blind eye to everything she was going through.

After knowing her feelings towards him, this ignorance had become more frequent. He kept accusing her for everything bad that kept happening in his life. He made new friends and kept pushing her away. He thought that everything revolved around his.

Until he realized that she had stopped persuading him. That was the time when he finally realized what felt wrong.

She had moved on. Now it was his turn to apologize, ask her what was wrong and why she refused to speak to him. And now what happened?

She forgave him. Again.

Well, it happened again. He ignored her. And this time, she finally understood where she stood in his life, what her importance was to him. Nothing. She was a no one. She was being used by him.

That was it. She now knew what she had to do. Ignore. She had stopped talking to him. She had stopped replying to any of his calls or texts.

It was difficult for her, he could see it but at the same time he could also see determination. She was determined to not talk to him.

"Arnav, she's your best friend. You should try and talk to her." His friend had said.

"She loves me. She would eventually come around. Where will she go? She has to come back to me sooner or later. She wont be able to stay away from me for long." He had replied.

Turning around he saw her standing behind him with tears falling from her eyes. She ran away. That was the last straw. He could see that she was completely broken. He had shred her into pieces.

She had not spoken to him for a month and he had noticed that she had somehow brought those broken pieces back and stuck them together. She had become stronger. He had thought that this was the best time to speak to her. She was not angry anymore and he had thought she would finally speak to him. He tried again. For days he tried talking to her but she had successfully ignored him.

One morning he had received a text from her. He was overjoyed that she had finally thought of speaking to him but it all went away the minute he read the contents of the text.

"This is the last time I am saying it. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear any of your useless blabber.

You should be happy that we aren't friends anymore because this is what you have always wanted and now I am finally giving it to you. Freedom. Freedom from me and my friendship.

Please don't try to talk to me and let me live in peace. I don't want a friend for whom I don't even exist"

This was the last time he had heard from her.

He now knew, she was gone. His best friend had left him forever.