The battle between you and me..Sajan SS(Part 5 Updated) (Pg 28) - Page 19

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Part 5

As he pinned her to the wall their eyes met and time stopped. With increasing heartbeats and shivering bodies they stare at each other intently. Trying to find an answer. An answer to all the unsaid questions. To clear confusion and find a resolve so that peace is restored in hearts...body and soul.

He slowly removed his hands from her hands making her look in that direction. She felt her heartbeat normalizing as he set her free. Set free!! No way! But to make her jump out of her skin. As his hands gradually made way up to her cheeks cupping them passionately. She looked at him with disgust and tried to free herself off when his gaze made her shiver and she looked down. He smirked.

He still affects her. As she closed her eyes to get off his enchanted prison. She hated herself for being under his control yet again as it was...No! She shrugged away her thoughts and again battled against him to get free and run away. She just wanted to hide where no one will ever seek her. She always had been good at this hide and seek game as a child but didn't knew that she had to apply her skills again and this time to challenge her own life. She was always told that life is a challenge and you have to be careful while you explore the world. But this much challenging? She never knew and wasn't even prepared for it all. She was immersed in the beautiful feeling called love and never had the slightest idea that her very love will turn her world upside down.

He flicked his fingers in front of her to bring her back as she was no more fighting back to free herself rather was lost somewhere. She looked at him and spoke...."After all this is what you are good at." As he loosened his grip on her she moved away only to be caught by him as he held her wrist and pulled her back and she bumped right into him. They stare.

"Now tell me what I am good at?"

"First making people dream and then at a blink of an eye making them fall so hard that the ground beneath them cracks up and they are left regretting."

"Chashmish...meri baat..."

"Dare you call me by that name!! Koi haq nahi hai tumhara!" She pushed him hard and pointed her index finger towards him...like warning him.

"Haq jatane mein waqt hi kitna lagta hai?"

"Oh please! Nafrat hai mujhe tumse...sirf Nafrat!!

"Yehi baat meri ankhon mein dekh kar kaho."

"Dekho..tum..."

"Bolo na ke mujhe tumse nafrat...kaho na aik baar meri ankhon mein dekh kar I promise uske baad kabhi peecha nahi karunga."

He moved towards her and she backed off making her back touch the wall. Crap! She was again in his prison. She tried to move but he was completely blocking her way and she had to forcefully look at him with a "what the hell" look.

"I am waiting...bolo na."

"Kya chahte ho tum?"

"Mere sawal ka jawab."

"Kaha na nafrat."

"Aise nahi yahan meri ankhon mein dekh kar batao."

"Let me go...mujhe kuch nahi kehna."

"Darti ho tum...phirse."

"Aesa nahi hai."

"Aesa hi hai. Agar nahi darti tou keh dou na."

"Kya janna hai tumhe?"

"Kya pyaar hai?"

This question made her still and she looked at him after a while ...probably stared at him. He stood there hands folded on his chest and looking at her keenly with a raised eyebrow. She moved her gaze away feeling uncomfortable in his presence. What the hell. She never wanted to see him again but destiny always plans the opposite.

"Tumhare liye yeh sab mazak hai na?" She questioned.

"Yeh mere sawal ka jawab tou nahi hai."

"Nahi dena aur na hi koi zaroorat hai dene ki."

"Acha? Zaroorat nahi hai ya dena nahi chahati? Face nahi karna chahati un feelings ko. Ya yeh kahun ke doobara bhaag rahi ho apne aap se...apne dil ki awaz se...mujhse.

"Jo samjhna hai samjho lekin mujhe jane dou."

"Aaa.. wo kya hai mujhe adhe adhoora jawab pasand nahi tou acha hoga ke mujhe sahi sahi jawab dou aur chali jao yahan se. Kyun ke jawab liye bagair tum tou yahan se jane nahi wali. So decide. The choice is up to you."

"Samjhte kya ho tum apne aap ko? Haan? Kabhi bhi kuch bhi karoge. No way. Bohat hua. Mere paas tummhari yeh stupid si baatein sunein ke ilawa bhi bohat kaam hai. Tou please phir kabhi ana yeh sawal le kar. Got it!!."

"Ruko Gunjan. Tum aise nahi ja sakti. Aur yeh sawal mamoli nahi hai. Is se zayada important abhi hamari life mein kuch nahi hai so please batao. We need to talk."

"Oh really Mr.Samrat Shergill? Zaroori tab tha jab tum chale gaye tha...5 saal pehle bina kuch sune bina kuch kahe aur bina ruke. Tou aj main kyun suno? Tumne sab khatam kar diya hai. Ab yahan koi hum nahi bas main aur tum hain. Main aur tum!!"

"Kya tum wo waqt wapis nahi..."

"Waqt kabhi wapis nahi ata Samrat. Sab khatam kar diya tumne. Sab kuch. Aik pal mein aesa laga jese tum meri life ki sabse badi galti thay in fact haan thay bhi. Tumse pyaar karna galti thi meri..tumhari parwah karne use bhi badi galti. Aur sabse badi galti jante ho kya hai meri? Tumhe bhula na pana!!"

She closed her eyes as drops of merciless tears dropped on her face. It hurts. Hurts to accept that she still loves him...he still affects her...above all she cannot forget him. Cannot keep him out of her mind. She tried to keep a hold on her nerves as she was going weak but she didn't want to lose it in front of him. Shattered. She wiped the tear strains on her face and decided to clear it once and for all.

It will hurt but she had to be strong. Strong for herself. She can't let herself break down once again. She will not be able to handle another heartbreak...another separation. She walked up to him and stood upright facing him. Looking straight into his eyes. Making full eye contact and with courage she spoke...

"Haan nahi bhula payi tumhein...aj bhi shayad..shayad karti hoon tumse pyaar. Kabhi kabhi bebas samjhti hoon khud ko jab bethe bethe tumhari yaadon mein kho si jati hoon. Darr lagta hai kahin wo ehsas dobara...nafrat hone lagti hai khud se. Itne saal guzar gaye phir bhi tum yaad ate ho tumhare hone ka ehsas hota hai. Jab tum gaye thay tou wada kiya tha khud se ke kabhi tumhe yaad nahi karungi par yaad tou tab karti na jab bhool pati. Tumhari yaadon ne mera peecha kabhi na choda...kabhi bhulne nahi diya sab kuch aur aj tumse milne ke baad aesa laga jese waqt khud ko dhora raha ho. Us din maine tumhein roka tum nahi ruke lekin aj tumhare kehne par main ruk gayi ta ke tumhein ye bata sakun ke main hamare beech sab kuch khatam karna chahti hoon sab kuch. Bohat sata liya tumhein mujhe ab aur nahi. Koi clarification ya justification nahi chahiye bas aik request hai ke chale jao meri zindagi se jese 5 saal pehle gaye thay par is baar dobara kabhi mat ana. Aur saath hi le jao apno in yaadon ko bhi. Azad kar do mujhe har bandhan, har yaad, har taluq se. Mat karo mera peecha aur bhagna nahi chahti..thak gayi hoon main. Please bas karo."

After saying so she collapsed down on the floor not able to hold it more. She cried...wailed over her destruction not wanting to keep anything inside her. She had it enough. She just wanted a peaceful life as she has already made adjustments with her loneliness and it does not haunt her anymore but the memories of him...of them makes her scare to death. She has reached a saturation point.

He looked at her as she slipped down. His heart cried out loud seeing her in that condition. His senses were overpowering him and his mind had stopped working. He just wanted to be there with her...for her. At least this time around. He had to made amends and ask her to give him a chance to explain everything. To clarify himself of all the accusations that were laid on his very self. He was guilty. Truly he was. Not of what he did but because he was not there when he needed her the most despite promising her numerous of times. He felt guilty of not putting an end to her miseries. He felt as if he has put her into such a decomposing state. Where as a matter of fact he wanted none of it to happen.

He closed his eyes in dismay as it was becoming highly impossible for him to see her like this. He went to her and sat beside her quietly. Trying to wipe of those crude tears of her eyes and make her feel somewhat better. To tell her things will get better with time. But alas, he was unable to do anyone of these. All of it required guts and courage and he had no one of it at this time. He just sat there staring at her. While she felt his presence near her and looked up to see him staring widely at her. She looked down to hide of her tear strained face.

She sighed and took a deep breath composing herself, she got up steadying herself yet again. As he saw her getting up he too got up instantly facing her. They both looked at each other.

"Tou mil gaye saare jawab? Now can I leave?" She started.

"Jawab mile hain par moqa nahi."

"Matlab?"

"Kya sach mein tum kuch nahi janna chahti?" He insisted.

"Kya faida hoga bata kar?" She argued.

"Shayad ho jaye." He stated back.

"Chahte kya ho?"

"Tumhein..."

He blurted out making her look at him. At the gaze they both got lost into the mesmerizing past.

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"Chasmish ruko na..."
"Baad mein Samrat abhi class ke liye jana hai."

"Lekin mujhe tou abhi baat karni hai." He argued.

"Uff..tum bhi na acha batao kya chahiye tumhein?" She asked casually.

"Tum."

His reply made her stun for a second and she felt her heart beat rising. He always had that effect on her. He came near her holding her gently by the shoulders and made her look at him as she moved her gaze. After making sure that her attention was all his. He moved forward decreasing the distance between them and Gunjan closed her eyes due to their proximity. It had been 2 years since they had been together but he still had this effect on her. She had tears of joy as she saw him placing a soft peck on her forehead to assure that he will be always there for her. He cupped her face and joined their heads together to feel their love. It was the most beautiful feeling for the both of them.

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As the flashback ended the facade of love bringing solace and peace also broke away. As they can see it clearly...not blinded by love. Not bounded by commitment. They were distraught when they found about the reality of love or being in love. It's not only the happiness that counts but also the sadness. Luck remains an important factor in claiming your love and be able to share your life with that person. The person who tames your senses...controls your mind and dictates your heart.

Gunjan sighed as the reality of her "fanaticized love story" was in front of her. What she has with her was only loneliness which has crept inside making her enjoy this darkness of being alone. It is not true that she has stopped loving she still did but the fact remains that it did hurt her deeply. She had always been the scared person...the shy introvert girl not only because it was her personality trait but because she was fearful. She feared to get hurt by people that too her close ones. She didn't had the courage to fall apart...to crumble once again. As she had already had enough for a lifetime.

Whereas Samrat was on a guilt trip. He didn't knew that it would hurt so much. But it did. The pain, the anguish and the ability to bear it all didn't go down well with him. He was upset. Upset on himself. He never wanted this to happen. The separation caused a lot of distance between the once so popular "love birds of Excel college." He knew that only their togetherness can heal the wounds. It will heal everything. All the affliction...the pain...the separation will surrender and love...affection and reunion will pave its way.

Samrat decided to speak to her so that everything is cleared. As she saw her walking away his voice stopped her and she looked back to gaze at him in wonder.

"Maaf nahi karogi?" He inquired.

"Tum kar paye ho khud ko maaf?" She questioned back.

"Kuch poocha nahi...koi clarification nahi mangi kyun?"

"Kya ab haq hai mangane ka?"

"Bilkul hai."

"Hota tou yen chod kar na jate."

"Haq tha isiliye tab chod kar gaya tha aur ab haq hai isiliye maafi maang raha hoon."

"Der kardi tumne."

"Tumne bhi tou nahi bulaya."

"Bulati tou a jate?"

"Bula kar tou dekhti."

"Koshish kit hi par nahi hua mujhse. Socha ke tum contact karoge par tumne tou jaise bhula hi diya."

"Bhulaya nahi tha bas kuch der ke liye bhul gaya tha ke main kon hoon."

"Haan...jo bhi."

"Jo bhi nahi Chashmish...sach mein. Bhul gaya tha ke tumne mujhe banaya hai. Mujhe sahi rah dikhayi hai. Mera haath pakra kabhi nahi chodne ke liye aur hamesha mere saath chali. Phi raj yeh doori kyun?"

"Tumne bhi tou saath chod diya tha na?"

"Mujhe pura kar do!!"

Her heart stopped beating for a moment and she felt a weight being put on it. Completeness is a phenomena that she used to associate with them...but those fateful years of separation shook her trust completely. She became a lifeless soul and now when there's a chance to complete herself she is not able to do it. The fear of loss and separation engulfs her as his voice kept on ringing in her ears.

"Bhool jao Samrat...bhool jao ke kabhi hamare beech kuch tha...ke kabhi humne pyaar kiya tha...bhool jao ke hum kabhi dost thay...sab bhool jao. Bhool jao ke hum kabhi milay bhi thay...merey wajood ko bhool jao. Sab bhool jao."

She sobbed while saying the last sentence while he grabbed her wrist angrily and made her look at him.

"Bhool jaun? Kya itna asan hai bhool jana. Agar hai tou tum kyun nahi hula payi mujhe? Merey pyaar ko? Wo taluq jo hamare beech tha. Bolo GUNJAN!!"

He stormed at her but she kept quite at his insistence. She had no answer to it. None of her justifications would satisfy either of them. It will be insufficient to feed the hunger brewing inside them. It was just so difficult. From all the past years she had been having a tough time to convince of the same but futile. How would she reason with him if she herself is confused? How would she make him leave? When she herself doesn't want it.

The fact remains that the betrayal she got after loving him passionately still haunts her but that just doesn't nullify the feeling of love. Love is an unconscious feeling that develops between two individuals. Love just happens. It doesn't need cupid it just needs the feelings growing between two individuals. Gunjan sighed and looked at him...deeply in his eyes and smiled weakly.

"Ghar Chalein?"

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Finally here is part 5. Sry for making you guys wait for long. Actually I was busy in stuff. I just hope that the wait was worth it. Secondly, I want to complete this SS first before I move on to Love after marriage. I might give an update of it once before I move to this.

Do read and give your feedback 😳

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