Through The Looking Glass| ArHi | Ch11Pg1 (14/08) - Page 9

Originally posted by: yush-swt

wow...the gangster movie arshi style...im loving it...and hope to read this ff/...and the start is just incredible...

so he is been shown in to a dingy rom by a woman...but the best part is except the name of shyam you havent mention about others names...and that even hikes up the curiosity.though have got an idea i would wait you to tell your story...

have bookmarked your blog and hopefully will be commenting on it as well...good luck rae...and waiting for the next update...

Originally posted by: -doe-eyes-

*smug smile* I'm getting quite good at this stalking business :P

OK, first of all I'm loving the fact that apart from Shyam, we don't know the names of the 'big fish' or his benefactor...kind of like we get acquainted with them as they get acquainted with each other - nice :) It's kind of an indication that we can't take things for granted here, and I am so waiting for the inevitable dialogue between the two!

You got me! :D

I dont want to give away their names just yet...get to know them first was the idea. :)

Second, even though we get to know this character from just two pieces, I already feel a deep abiding sympathy for him, even though I know already that he's a gangster. You managed to do that, and so discreetly I didn't even realise when and how. So yes, you can guess how happy I am that he got away! The tension was high as he runs and I felt my heart drop at the word 'busted', esp after this potent, quite kind of admiration I felt after reading how, despite knowing he is all but cornered, he's ready to keep running till the end. Wow. Powerful character right there.

You do? Okay, that was unintentional...but I in my writing when my readers are not able to write off any character as just this or just that so if the gangster is able to make you think and reflect, thats good I guess...although of course I wanted to make him appear human too and explore his code of conduct as it functions in his line...glad you picked up on that :)

Also loved how you subtly poked fun at the police - expecting a battle of wits and much action :P It wasn't as though you were making them out as fools, but the contrast is enough to sway us against them *thumbs up*

That was the plan...I didnt want to make them look like fools, just explore the girl's wit. :)

Lol, another powerful character - nice way of throwing the police off track! Neither the police nor myself were expecting a woman changing clothes behind closed doors when I was all but holding my breath as they broke the door down - but the way it lightened the tense mood was wonderful and effortless *cue applause*

Hahahahahaha! :D

And here's a romance in the making already :P I love oxymorons and irony, so the inner glow in the dark, with only a glimpse of black hair and honey eyes, was a lovely image to me :)

PS : love your choice of title :) I read Through the Looking Glass last summer, and like I said, I love irony, so having the name of such a light-hearted, fantasy world story being applied to a gritty, dark tale of realism is a touche move, definitely

Originally posted by: preethi28

res

That was intriguing. The way you wrote the chasing part , I was able to see it all in my head.

The girl( possibly Khushi) saved a gangster(possibly Arnav) whom she knew/never knew.

I don't know if this happened in the movie but I've seen a similar scene in a tamil movie(my mother tongue) with a tiny little twist.

In that scene there is a beating-up-hundred-men-single-handedly-hero saved by a lady in her mid-forties from the police-who-are-allies-of the-villian by doing the same thing!😆

Originally posted by: ..SankiMedhz..

Itni jaldi Chapter 1??? No complaints though. :P

Darn it. I still don't know who those people apart from Shyam are...though I am just going to assume its Arnav and Khushi anyway...and hope you don't throw a googly at me.😆

I loved the way you described him running away from the police. He surely does know their strategies, weak points really well. Which is what makes him such a big catch for the police too. :)

Now the question being...why did the woman save him? Ye kya chakkar hai?

I loved these lines -

"And then it was all dark around him."

"With a strange glow inside him."

LOVED the way she managed to save Arnav while not arousing too much suspicion. That was some smart thinking. However...does that still provide the latter a foolproof (or should I say police-proof) way of escaping? Guess I'll have to wait to figure that one out. :)

Originally posted by: -Emma.K-

Hi Rae! So I've always been a big fan of your works, in fact your Hamesha Tumko Chaha was the first thing I read on this forum! Just thought I should share :)

Anyways, to the story. I have never seen the movie although I wanted to! But now I'm glad I didn't, because it's way more interesting this way. I'm loving the start! I won't make any assumptions about who the man is but I'm hoping its Arnav! Oh how i would love a gunda Arnav, im already slightly drooling...

And this girl is smart! Is she Khushi? The expressions of the police officers would have been a sight to see for sure lol!

Hope you don't mind sending me PMs for this one. I haven't asked for a PM for any work in ages, but yours is so so worth it :)

Can't wait to read more!

Originally posted by: arshiyakanishka

Chapter 1 already! 😊

The opening paragraph maintains the adrenalin rush tone that was set beautifully in the prologue.The man's thoughts clearly depict the life he has lead so far.He's smart and an old player and thus the big fish of the two.

Now coming to the girl with the honey gold orb...she's smart too.The way she saved the man was so unexpected and yet so ingenious and hopefully worked too.But why did the girl save a stranger from the police?I am sure some light will be shed on this in the next update.

Now coming to my favourite part:

And then it was all dark around him.

With a strange glow inside him.

I was missing the quotes you used in prologue but these lines more than made for them.Beautiful lines and based on these i am assuming its Arnav and Khushi but will wait for you to disclose their identities.By the way loved the way that the only character's name we are aware so far has been Shyam.