SS:An end and a begnning

Arnav oblivious of everything keeps on talking with Sheetal and Aarav.

In the room Kushi is in deep thought thinking about her life from the moment she met Arnav.

After a long time everyone bids goodbye and go to their respective rooms.

Arnav also bids goodbye to Sheetal and Aarav goes towards his room not knowing what is in store for him.

Once he gets inside the room he sees Kushi sitting by the poolside in deep thoughts.

He calls out her name but she doesn't seem to hear. Getting frustrated he shouts her name and she slowly turns and sees Arnav.

Kushi: yes Arnavji what do you want?

Arnav: what were you thinking about?

K: nothing Arnavji just like that

Arnav looks at her questioningly

A: ok if you say so, btw Kushi when did you come up I dint seem to notice

This was the last straw for Kushi, she sarcastically says

K: its nothing new you don't seem to notice many things lately

A: what do you mean by that?

K: some things are to be realized on our own not to be told

A: stop speaking riddles and just come to the bloody point kushi, he says irritated

K: nothing leave it lets go to sleep with a sigh and moves from that place

Arnav in anger forcefully grabs her and asks her to tell

K : ok I will but leave me first you're hurting me.

Arnav realizes that he has grabbed her tightly and frees her and apologizes.

K : I think it's become your habit to hurt first then apologize.

A: what do you mean by that?

K: good thing that we've started off this. There's a lot of talking to do. Let's just finish talking about everything and get over with it. I guess we should sit down and talk because it's going to be a long night for both of us.

A : Kushi stop beating around the bush and come to the point. I don't have all the time in the world

K : don't worry I've realized that lately

A: what I dint mean that way Kushi.

K: I don't know what you mean anymore. You're words and actions do not match even a bit.

A: what do you mean?

K : I will tell you don't worry.

After saying this Kushi seems to be lost in her own thoughts.

A: Kushi just out with it where are you lost?

K: I'm just thinking where to start forward or backward.

A: kushi don't test my patience just say what do you want to say and lets just get over with it.

K: yes yes don't worry I'll start backwards. We'll address our present first then we'll go to our past and then discuss our future if there will be any.

A: what do you mean by future if any? Of course we'll have a future.

K: let's get into that later so shall we start?

A: ya tell me

K: first let's talk about Sheetal and Aarav

A: oh no kushi you still think Aarav is my son, I have already told you otherwise why don't you just understand that we were just dating and it meant nothing?

K: no I don't understand what dating or your meant nothing means. I'm a small town girl and I've not been exposed to that culture. i have no clue what do you even mean by dating. I've seen with my own eyes that you were in a live-in relationship with lavanyaji. She told me you both were doing it in the name of boyfriend and girlfriend without marriage. So what's wrong in me thinking that you might have had a physical relationship with her.

Arnav got stunned by what she was saying and said,

A: but I told you it meant nothing and it was casual dating.

K: that's what I'm saying I still don't get that term. I don't know what happens between a couple that are dating.

A: so you don't trust me when I say aarav is not my son.

K: It's not about trust. It's just that when everything seems to point otherwise I don't know what to believe.

A: what do you mean.

K: scoffs and says sometimes for a big business man like you who claims to know everything and proclaims himself to be god and writing his own destiny you act stupid

A: what are you saying how dare you?

K: cut him off saying yes I dare. That kid is an exact Xerox copy of you. He talks like you, walks like you, eats like you, has the same attitude of yours, for god's sake he even has diabetics like you. On top of that I've to hear comments from the family how he is exactly like you, and how he's like you're kid. what am I supposed to make out of it? Even if that kid was not Sheetal's and was someone else this doubt would have cropped up. It can mean only two things. Either Aarav is your son or Sheetal is up to something. It's not easy to ignore so many similarities as mere coincidence. And I don't think it can be a mere coincidence.

As Kushi talks Arnav gets a clear picture and realizes Kushi is actually right.

A: yes Kushi, I'm so sorry I dint think about it and had you worried but believe me I've never had any type of physical relationship with anyone. I agree I dint believe in marriage and love but you're the only girl I have even felt like coming close to. Aarav cannot be my son at any cost. Now that you say I feel you may be right. I guess this Sheetal is up to something because too many similarities which are humanly impossible. But I don't understand why she's doing this. But pls trust me. Why dint you talk to me about this before Kushi. We could've cleared it then itself.

K: I did try Arnavji. But it's just that you dint seem to understand. For someone who claims to understand even my silence you failed to understand me and my inner turmoil. You were busy mocking me along with Aarav and busy recreating your past.

A: I'm really sorry Kushi I have no words to say I'm truly sorry

K: not only that Arnavji you said you dint even remember Sheetal until you saw her, then how come suddenly you remember her allergy to nuts. And for a man who wants to win at all costs claims to have made her win the match in the past. you tell me what should I make out of this.

Arnav hung his head low not knowing what to say.

A; I'..I''. I'm really sorry I don't know what to say, I was wrong pls forgive me. I promise this won't happen again

K: I'm tired of hearing this every time Arnavji. Every time you do something and apologize and expect me to forget and wait for you to hurt me more.

A: kushi pls don't say that I love you so much, I cant live without you.

K: Why dint you marry someone like Sheetalji who will be of your equal status Arnavji?

A: kushi what are you saying there are many Sheetals out there but I married you cos I love you

K: I don't think so. I think you wanted someone inferior to you as your life partner so that you can impose your superiority complex.

A: Kushi this is not true pls don't say that believe me I really love you.

Kushi took a long breath and continued speaking

K: pls allow me to talk everything I have in my mind and pls don't interrupt Arnavji. Today I want to put a full stop to everything. I'm done worrying about everyone and everything and keeping everything to myself. Today I want to pour out everything.

A: ok Kushi I will not interrupt tell me everything. I'll try to correct my mistakes

K: these days you seem to be showing your love only behind the closed doors Arnavji. Once we get out of the room you behave as if we're strangers. If Sheetalji tries to pursue you thinking that you've married me out of pressure or if Aarav thinks that I'm a crazy annoying woman I don't blame them because that's how you've been portraying me. Have you once made me feel important in front of Sheetal. On the contrary you seem to be enjoying every time I'm being mocked by Aarav. I don't blame him though cos he doesn't know anything.

A: kushi I'm so sorry I just don't know what to say oh! What a fool I've been. But pls believe me Kushi I dint do it intentionally.

K: intentionally or unintentionally doesn't matter Arnavji. The damage is done. And it's not all we've a lot of things to talk.

A: yes Kushi tell me I'm all ears.

K: let's leave Sheetalji's matter. On that day I saved you from kidnappers after we came home why dint you stop when Shyam was questioning my character? You slapped him only after he finished butchering my character fully. Then too I had to plead you to trust me even after I went through death just to save you. Ok let's assume you were tired and confused with all the chaos so you couldn't think straight. After that when we exposed Shyamji on their anniversary even then he had questioned my character you remained as a silent spectator to everything. Oh I forgot according to you I was a characterless gold digger and its good that my parents died right?

A: Kushi''Kushi what are you saying? I never meant those things. I said it in a fit on anger. You know right my brain stops working when I'm in anger.

K: whatever it is words once said cannot be taken back. When dadi came you started supporting me and I was really happy and that's why I thought of giving you another chance. But coming to think of it I think you defied me only cos you don't like your dadi much. When mami had insulted or even di and jijaji showed faces at me you did nothing.

A: no Kushi it's not true. You've mistaken me I defied dadi only for you. You know I don't believe in marriages I went through the rituals only for you how can you forget that and say all these? Believe me when I say I really love you.

K: no you agreed for the re marriage cos you knew otherwise the family members wouldn't have allowed me to stay with you. You did it for yourself not for me. And even hen when dadi questioned my character you did nothing to clean the air as to how I was forced into this marriage by you for the first time. If you care for me you would've brought the truth in front of everyone which you dint. Both my family and yours think I still have a hand in that forced marriage.

As each and every word hit him he dint know what to do. Every word she spoke was truth and he'd been plainly stupid not to realize how much his love of his life has kept inside her and smiled externally.

A: Kushi what you're saying is right and I don't have anything to justify myself but pls don't question my love for you. I love you, I really do.

K: hmmm I just don't know what to say. You said you wish you had never met me I wish the same. Ever since I've met you my life has been worse. Can you believe I had to meet Shyam only cos of you?

Since you released the video footage of me falling in your arms I had to face insults from the society. Goons started harassing me that's when Shyam came and saved me from them. After that I had to leave Lucknow and come to Delhi. Then again I met Shyam who offered to help me and my family. As usual being a nave innocent fool I believed him. He's the one who got me a job in AR.

A: Kushi I'm so sorry I dint know only because of me you had to encounter Shyam. But pls lets forget all that and start afresh pls..

Kushi cut him in between and said

K: no its time we address everything. The problem is we've a lots of unresolved issues between us that's why every time even a small problem gets blown up. Where was I? Ahhh working in AR' what a wonderful experience it had been. It was pure bliss. Falling from first floor, getting insulted by fellow employees, getting soaked in the run, almost getting hit by a car, and most importantly the guest house incident how I can forget those.

A: Kushi I know I've been a demon back then. But then that guest house thing. I really dint know it was in such a bad condition I wouldn't have sent you If I had known about it.

K: maybe, maybe not. Leave all that. I was torn between your family and you. Every time they call me making emotional blackmail only to come and get insulted by you.

A: Kushi I never meant to insult you like that. it was just that you were affecting me and I dint like it so I lashed out on you to remind myself that you dint matter to me when in reality it was just the opposite.

K: this does not justify your behavior. Every time you brought my status. The way you insulted me for wearing that lehanga, how you wontedly gave the necklace I like to Lavanyaji, how you insulted me at the party you arranged for Akash and Payal nothing is justified.

A: that day when you wore that lehanga you looked like an angel but when I came to touch you, you flinched reminding you were someone else's. That made me angry and that's why I took out my anger on you. About the necklace I hate the way you made me feel so I wanted to punish you for becoming someone else's when you where mine. During the party you looked gorgeous but you where with that stupid NK which I hated. I hated how he made you laugh when all I could do was make you cry. I dint want to see you both together.

K: coming to think of it I seriously wonder why I even fell in love with you. Nahenji was there with me whenever I needed. He also treats me as his equal and doesn't look down as someone inferior. During that party he supported me when I was crying. And I came with him because you dint want me to come for my own sister's wedding party, he was sweet enough to call me so I came. During your kidnap he was my only support. When I said about Shyam not even for one moment did he think I was lying. He just wanted to ensure that I have not misunderstood. Without his help I might've not been able to save you. I guess my life would've been better if I had married someone like Nahenji or someone of my status. At least I needn't have had to worry trying to match up to your level.

A: Kushi what the hell are you saying. I never intended to put you down or want you to change. I love you the way you are. Please I might have been wrong in believing a low life creep over the one I love the most but that was because of my past I had to grow up overnight and become cynical. Now I trust you more than my life and it won't change ever believe me. Doesn't the fact that I came back even after knowing the ugly truth of my life to marry you prove that I love you?

K: laughs sarcastically and says, ya you came after how many hours? I don't blame you for it cos I understand how tough it must've been for you still it was me who had to face the insults and the mocking looks of the guests both the times. During our first marriage to you left me all by myself to face the insults. But my ill fate dint stop there you made me sleep by the pool side, played with my feelings by acting lovey dovey when someone was watching, hurling insults at me what not.

A: but Kushi that was because I had misunderstood I wouldn't have done otherwise.

K: that doesn't give you a right to torture me. And when your sister tried to abort her baby what did you do? you started shouting at me again for no fault of mine. When I decided to leave for your happiness you again threatened me using your money, power and my weakness for my family to get me back. Everything was about winning for you. Other's feelings doest even matter.

A: I dint mean what I told you then. I vented out my frustration on you but I realized my mistake and came back but you wouldn't give me a chance to explain. I couldn't lose you so I had to act like how I did. Maybe my methods were wrong but my intentions were not.

K: whatever I don't know what to do anymore I don't even know whether to stay or leave. I want to leave but at the end of the day the promise I made to you is stopping me and the fact that even after everything I love you doesn't make things any better.

When Kushi said this Arnav had a small smile, a little hope that things could be better he still had a chance. He processed everything she told and understood how much she had gone through in life because of him and people associated with him. He was in awe of the woman standing in front of him. She's been the strongest person he's ever seen in his life and he was proud that he fell in love with her. Yes he loved her, he knew it. How could he not? She's the one who taught him the meaning of love. How could anyone not fall in love with her? He's been a fool all these days. He dint realize the worth of her. Not anymore. He decided now his wife was the most important person for him. Even his di came next. He din't care what people would say. She was the only thing that mattered to him now. He had to make things right not for him or her but for them. He had a long way to go to make his wrongs to right but he decided to start right away.

He took a long breath and continued
A: Kushi I know I've wronged you many times in the past and in the present. I don't want to justify any of it because I don't have any justification. You have always been right and even now you're right. I'm happy you told me everything because I wouldn't have known otherwise and would've been a stupid as always. Unlike you I'm not good with people and emotions. I was blind and clouded with anger and arrogance. I forgot to see the good in people until you came along. I hated the fact that you were perfect. I hated that despite the painful past you could life your life when I couldn't. I hated how you could bounce back every time. I hated the feelings you evoked in me the moment you fell into my arms. I thought heart was used only for pumping blood before you came along. You taught me the meaning of love. You should now teach me how to love unconditionally like you kushi pls. I want to love will you teach me to love? I promise I'll be a good student he ended saying that with a cheeky smile on his face.

Kushi was relieved after his confession. She could understand him better now. Of course she'll give him a chance she knew he was not wrong it's his past which made him like this. She knew he was the one for her she loved him and will not let him go that easily. This thought made her smile to herself.
Kushi pretended to think for a moment and said

K: hmmm I can teach but what's the fee? she askedwith the same cheeky smile

A: laughed at her childishness and said whatever the princess asks for