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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1081

I like arnav the observer...

So he begins with Anjali..and I like how he summarised it. I have always found it hard to sympathise with her in the grand scheme of things = the show. That was partly because it was all so irrational. I dont know how I feel now either..wonder if you will explore that here..

I don't know how much I agree to this:

"but I am equally guilty of giving him that opportunity in the first place."

I know he was guilty of a lot of things, but he couldn't have predicted just how dangerous or psychotic shyam was, like khushi couldn't.

I like that this chapter dwells into a lot of what ifs..first about asking khushi if shyam was telling the truth, then if gupta's had revealed the truth etc. And it is the easiest thing to fall into once the whole story is out, to dwell on possibilites. Really really good progression of the story. Like he says:

"I should be thinking about righting wrongs" "Not today."

But I also enjoy that you always make him stop the what ifs..

"But there is no point to all this wishful thinking."

NK the knight in shining armour? I thoroughly enjoy the role you have given him this one..I always thought he liked her, in more than "friends" way! I like that he has an intellect here..He is really saving the day, while the owner of the massive business empire falls down. I guess thats the difference between someone like NK and ASR. All the bravado behind ASR has always been based on something baseless, like there were too-many skeletons and he just ignored them. Whereas NK was a person is happy in his skin..you know? OK i just created a whole back story for your characters..based on the tv show and my judgementalness!

So the psychotic snake escaped. But calleth he doth?

I haven't really ever read much on this topic of abuse, so I am in no way going to argue about the procession of different stages of emotions going through a victim. I felt it natural for khushi to not talk..and the way you described it all was spot on.

And in true juhi style you remind us of an IPK scene. And adding the bits about poolside..tainted. The description of the red bangle too..tainted.

And this just makes me laugh:

"I cannot believe that I, Arnav Singh Raizada, am sitting here talking about my heart."

I realised as much as this is about the story of khushi's recovery as a victim, it also the story of arnav and how he comes out of this (if not fully) too. He can't even step beyond guilt, self-pity/hate.

Hitashi

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1082

"Saale Saab?"
Those two words make me cringe, just like rani sahiba..IPK has forever ruined that for me too Arnav..dont you worry!

"Luckily, common sense took over."

Ah this chapter is going to see a bit of action from Arnav's end then..?

I really really liked Shyam's conversation with Arnav. It is so so freaking important..! The things he says so atypical of our society. The kind of advice I am sure family of victims always get..

"Putting me behind bars, or saving what's left of her dignity? "

But then again, it is a catch:

"She will have to relive every moment"

who can't understand Arnav's frustration..the anger was the next step. Which obviously leads to the realisation..

"I haven't really done anything to alleviate it."

I like how you played that scene out.

Nk. I like how you keep putting out the small hints about him n her. But I think I love it even more when he tells arnav about his anger issues. Oh God, I wish he was given this talk sometime over the course of the serial. I would have loved to see how he would take it! And then about Khushi..It makes me question if Arnav is capable of understanding her ever, or anyone else for that matter? He overcame this having headlights-turned-off-in-dark problem in LLATW, by overcoming his anger..in a way

"I was a heartless, soul-less coward."

This is where relationships deter, dont they? each person is too engrossed into thinking how the other will feel, if only they faced each other. I know this is about sins, but some mistakes can happen by anyone.

Same thing is applicable in Arnav-Anjali relationship..and the Anjali that has come out of it, I can sympathise with her. You wrote her part beautifully..the recovery, the goal.

The part about A in the mehendi bringing all that in and finally Shyam's realisation..wow this is juhi style.

AH Everytime Arnav goes towards making amends, something happens hai devi maiyya!

"Makes sense, doesn't it? It's always the pretty ones who manage to make the married men stray.."

This is exactly what I abhor...victim being made the culprit!!! That too instead of questioning the psychoticism of the culprit (snakewa).

She cut her hair didnt she?

Hitashi

ps. so many quotes, ahh this chapter really was full on.

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1083

Eyes. You are good at describing that..you know. Everything in the beginning is just so well written..and then this:

"the jagged ends serving as a harsh reminder of her reaction to the vile words."

And yet another trigger..

"This is intolerable ."

will this really make him be able to do something consequential?

This is something I was waiting for..

"make sure she understands that none of this is her fault."

The ornaments..

Then Shyam's name..and obviously she is back to the nightmare.

I cannot believe that arnav went into another bout of anger..although you justified it. Again habits are hard to lose.

"Will I never be able to do the right thing by her?"

It is hard on him too, realising he is human-and-has-a-heart in such grave circumstances..and to get himself to act like a rational being. He is as bewildered, and helpless..maybe some more NK coaching classes?

YAAAY ASR is back. The rich-as-sin-power-wielder is back. That is the only thing that will get the job and justice done. I loved that scene, phangirled and blowed a whistle.

I wonder..how I can be such a party-badlu?!

And just randomly this reminds me of what he did to khushi..

"I want his photo splashed across the media."

Its a 'tendril of hope' for us too..except I dont understand what it stems out of anger or the mohabbat-door-jaane-na-de? But i guess its khushi's nature to be kind, its like a habit. I like that you always keep those basic traits:

"And she has done it for me.

Just like I have done it for her."

The whole thing with the food..wouldn't have thought of that..par tum issmart ho! Also I like how you involved di in this.

Then you brought out all those memories. The untainted ones. Juhiii sometimes I wonder why I comment, and say random stuff when everything is sooo perfect!

BUT as usual interruptions galore! Hai devi maiyaa?! (I am going to turn into a bhakt by the time this story is over...)

Wow I didn't expect her to find his journal so soon..but obviously this was needed to move the story ahead? I wonder what she is referring to..

Hitashi

ps. I try to keep my comments humour and weirdness free because this is meant to be serious..par forgive me for I fail.

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1084

"WHY"

And so she talks..albiet monosyllabic-ally.

Ok so you do this thing in your stories..like focusing on hands, or eyes or the tone of voice:

"Khushi Kumari Gupta's voice has intrigued me"

I dont know how or why you think of doing that. But everytime I read a part like that..I am floored? Matlab hum bhi aap se I love you dammit.

I guess..this again is my favourite line of the chapter:

"In a small, selfish corner of my mind, I am surprised at the fact that she has picked this page over the many pages where I have confessed my innermost thoughts."

Ok i needed to keep calm and not predict..because like arnav, KKGSR always surprises me...not just the why, but what follows after..everything. This is not uncharacteristic, and yet this a complete different side to her. She is definitely more like the Khushi of LLATW then of the show. Only because you have well-mapped out her character unlike the CVs, and given her "Rationality"!

Again i liked that you add tid bits like her-turning-away-him-not-liking-it-but-not-saying-anything.

I agree..the whole story of soaps (IPK being no different) is based on this funda:

"Half-truths and secrets"

And also like I said last time, we think we are protecting someone by not telling them something. If anjali got the whole cake, Khushi has always been way stronger..she deserved it too. I have learnt to see her as the most perceptive too..

Also thank you for adding anjali again..she must be scarred for life from making decisions and judgements and will have trust issues?!

Finally the angst, if you can call it that or whatever it is..comes out. The most important conversation. So she blames him. It is more than that though..not only does she feel untrusted, but also unloved..especially now. I didn't think of those things. Really really really liked this part and the finale..you cant help but justify things right? Silence =

"Kabhi kabhi sapnon ki duniya mein rehna hi achcha hai."

Acha the interruptions were NK sent by the cupid to protect K. This lurve, now that makes me think would NK have reacted the same way had he seen not been in love but merely a good friend to her?

I don't think arnav has it in him to do this:

"But does that mean I should lose all hope?"

for me he is a little selfish and with good reason? she is his salvation..he probably doesn't have any motivation to be arnav if she isn't around. For now the thin rope is supported by spoon theory, and I guess I will go with it.

AND then in true juhi style you drop the bomb:

"no legal marriage exists between you both"

And then BOMB 2:

"A body has been found"

Hitashi

ps. I agree with the Author's note. The pace and progress of this story/characters is plausible as its always justified.

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1085

So the scene is already set with 2 bombs to deal with..

Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy sinful arnav's rhetorical questions? Cause that's how I talk too..and I know how much talent it takes (and arrogance might be something we share too..)

Ok so someone in the house planned it?:

"Except a few.."

And then Buaji: "Nandkishore always punishes the sinners!"

LOL

And in many ways I agree with Arnav in his initial "Hows". But I also agree with "Khushi has been spared" I suffer from dichotomy, lets just leave it at that?

Torn between the sister and the wife. Will this agnee pariksha ever end for him?

But I like where he went. I have learnt to sympathise with this woman now...the murti purity fell in love with the devil himself, if that isn't irony dont know what is?!

"the man I've spent three years with..the father of my unborn child.."

"feeling a moment's pity for such an evil man."

And this Anjali isn't weak that she wanted to get back with devil for her unborn baby..This is how anjali should have been, or really was, except character assassination is the CVs favourite plot. You wrote the whole part so well. And bringing up Khushi..these two woman have loved each other (not meant to sound the way it does!), so it is only justified.

Ah the photos from the fashion show, so we are getting a back story on shyam? or at least the psychotic version of him..But only to add to the "Sins" list?

I like that finally khushi's ghar-wale get a say!

So the thin rope is also called Mangalsutra, although I don't know if khushi believes in spoon theory..and so we take her agnee pariksha..And obviously She will go home..no?

Hahahah I love NK. He is that ultimate ruiner of the sin-version-of-rabba-vey-moments that are happening or might happen. And as usual he has guessed arnav's motive..but two can play a game NK is also doing this because he wants a shot at K + NK.

I loved two aspects of this conversation:

ek, who is apt for khushi. I must agree with Nandkishore babaji!

do, arnav's forceful ways (albiet unknowingly sometimes)..everyone is selfish when it comes down to the basicest emotions..like pheobe says in FRIENDS there is never a selfless good deed (when in doubt consult the FRIENDS). Dont know if it makes sense, lots of things revolving in my head about this topic..but I think the next update will cover it..also I am unsure on how to articulate it further.

Hitashi

ps. tea rain and sins make for a good combination..just thought you should know.

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1086

Oh also I re-read my comment the tea maketh me delusional..

"ek, who is apt for khushi. I must agree with Nandkishore babaji! "

Well i agree with his reasoning. But I think khushi needs to be alone. (Yes i am starting my own team..team abhlanari-for-herself..un-gutterly speaking) I think you agree with me too..par lets read..

I can't believe its come to choosing teams. But dammnit i love it. I love embarking on these journeys with your stories..and the intro/retro-spection I fall into.

KKG a bag of surprises just like juhiji.

And quite the perception queen..thoda anjali ko bhi de deti?! Joking..bura mat maano holi hai!

I really like khushi's character in this story. And the conversations she has with people. I hang on to every word that comes out of her mouth. I like that again in this story too..the relationship status fact stands:

"As what?"

Which makes me realise the word 'girlfriend' is so blase in their society. But its not just about that...obviously there is tons of redemption required..

The religion question isn't far behind..I like that argument also. You always present both sides of the coin well!

I like that you have taken us to the root of Shyam's obsession, which is also the root of arnav's guilt..This means that all the sins are out now..?

This is what i mean arnav's forceful ways:

"I want her to be aware of what exactly is going through NK's mind, (and mine .)"

notice brackets.

I like how you explore this facet of him here..the selfishness quotient.

I dont know if he does this knowingly..and I justify this quotient to some level, like I said in my previous comment.

Khushi gives the final blow:

"Stop saying that you are responsible for everything that has ever happened! The world doesn't revolve around you, Mr.Raizada!"

although I thought she insinuated the same in her outburst after the journal reading escapade? I am a bit confused..will go read it again.

I don't think any of arnav's arguments were enough..cause he kept saying how he will make it better this time. But he never really put an end to her insecurities/accusations towards him after the journal reading argument..

and he also didnt once think about what is going through an abuse victims head:

"Do you know that I have to stop myself from running away every time I see the pool?"

And the tears make a comeback. always agree to this part.

At the end of the day this whole confusing argument I am having with my brain comes down to:

"The plain truth is that I miss her."

And without KKG..arnav is nothing. And he wouldnt be ASR if he doesn't fight for her..

"she never once said that I shouldn't go there.."

It is about shyam..dead or undead?

Hitashi

ps. sorry if this is confusing! ahhh

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1087

He is dead!

This:

"I am amazed at the uncanny ability we seem to have when it comes to sensing the other's presence"

This is my theory for the thin rope of hope.

I didnt realise the thin rope is still called mangalsutra!

I like how you are describing khushi's moving away everytime arnav comes near her..that scene. This is what I expected too..no matter how much love hope bla exists, we cant forget she went through a physical ordeal that scared her mentally. The physicality is what may lead her to the mental hell?

Again arnav fails to see past himself. I guess in this story it is about ASR not only overcoming his anger but this self-centeredness (however unintentional it is!).

Ah and then there were sins committed unknowingly or the unrealised sins:

"Has she trusted me, even then?"

And then the part where she goes on to elaborate my aforementioned point. I guess she understands her condition better than others around her..which is an achievement in itself. This brings me back to killing her insecurities..I know they wouldn't have just gone away after 10days of this incident happening..par a little assurance would have helped. Do you get what I am saying?

I really liked how you wrote her outburst. brilliant.

And I guess this was one of the most important bombs to hit arnav..Now he can see what khushi means:

"Will this nightmare ever end, for any of us?"

One week is all it takes..for arnav to feel like he is not breathing anymore and run back to khushi.

And obviously khushi decided to fled..LIKE. Lets see where this takes us.

Hitashi

ps. You are right..this was never about him. ever.

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1088

Back to taking a scene and reversing it..

"She is about to enter the glass doors which separate the passengers from everyone else."

This reminds me of when arnav was leaving her.

Ok call me far-sighted, but arnav is jumping to a conclusion again, right? Will he learn..ever?

This destiny / devi maiyya is clearly not with this guy.

Miscommunication. What is life without it?! For starters arnav and khushi would already have ridden into the sunset together..or would have separately migrated to north pole and south pole, respectively.

So she thinks this, because still her insecurities havent been put to rest, where arnav is concerned:

"I thought that you were deliberately ignoring me because you were angry..or you just didn't care.."

Because he still doesn't know himself..or he hasn't told her the real meaning behind this:

"Faraq padhta hai, dammit ! "

Over-analyses alert:

From what it seems arnav has spent the last week wallowing in his misery, and hers too. I thought he learnt..to look beyond his grief, even if his grief was over hers..but still he hasnt..Arnav-the-rational-being is impossible. ASR can be rational, in a calculative way. ASR knows how to handle himself, Arnav on the other hand is a baby..he doesn't.

And here comes the ASR anger..Oh gosh. You have written all this so so so well.

Finally jumping to the conclusion..WRONG conclusion.

This is how ASR committed his latest sin. Arnav just fell into juhi's trap...cause she is amazingg.

I am beginning to think like khushi too..

"but I think it was not meant to be.."

I don't know this arnav seems just blind. Will the haze around his brain ever clear? Until it doesn't this relationship is really doomed, no matter how many times rabba vey starts playing.

The letter..YAY hopefully this will clear the haze?

Hitashi

ps. Good luck with the last chapter of scandalous!!! Its going to be awesome I know it!

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1089

When you started this story..I always wondered if we will ever get a sneak peak into khushi's mind also..? I think all the dialogues for her were sufficient to get her point across..cause you did a great job at them!

A letter takes it all a step ahead. I think more than the readers it is Arnav who needs it. Nothing like written words to fully wake up his dormant self.

I like where you started this..

"I've always been a little afraid of you"

I never knew or rather remembered this emotion khushi might have felt. She was always so fierce and gave it back as good as she got. Yet who wouldn't be scared of "not knowing what to expect."

I like that this maybe khushi's way of analysing their relationship..to reach the moment

"What is this bond between us"

that arnav probably would want to reach in the pages of his sin-wali diary..and yet hasn't.

The perfect way you described what was in khushi's eyes..specially after arnav's rejection on diwali:

"Do you know how it feels to see the shattering of a dream that you never realized you had in the first place?"

Trust is such a rudimentary stone to any relationship. To lose it once, and yet to get a second chance and lose it all over again..I think arnav has realised this already, as we read in the last chapter. And the thing is his latest sin, he lost it for the 3rd time!

The feeling lost..

"Who is Khushi Kumari Gupta?"

stems obviously from the abuse. You have written that part so well..those rhetorics. If this was any other incident, or just about the forced wedding..I think khushi might even have fallen into her old smile-for-the-world ways.

"I've always lived for others, Arnavji."

Par this..her perception of the entire world has changed, first because of the untrustworthy guy and then the psychopath.

"me to think about who I am"

And that is the only way to fight.

Arnav needs to do this so badly too..go on a soul searching mission or some baba-bholenath thing?

Everything that follows is just perfect..I dont know about abuse victims, par can definitely understand her reasons way you justified it all.

I always felt arnav may have understood and analysed a lot of things, par not once did he step into her shoes..

"Do you even know how difficult this is for me?"

Maybe because there was always a little communication gap, or that he didnt have enough time to google stuff about abuse victims/anger managment etc?

So we are leaving it to destiny aka Devi Maiyya aka Juhi.

Hitashi

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LooneyLuna

@LooneyLuna

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#1090

The one year leap!

Don't I know..

"there is something in the very air "

this can just mean one thing..in juhi world. or ipk world.

perfection:

"details such as those, rather than face the emptiness of my existence.."

I was wondering if you were going to divest into any other details of shyam's evil now that it had been long over..And you did, perfectly. For a reason as usual..details about him were as inconsequential now and only stopping him from focusing on the bigger picture!

And I am glad he talks about his Di and "Ananya Raizada."

They did need a light..at the end of the dark tunnel.

Again you surprise me..I would have thought he would have immersed himself in AR, like completely. So what has Raizada been doing with his life?!

Ah first steps:

"I have not allowed any of them to stay in touch with Khushi."

Lavanya kashyap turned out to be such a lovely girl..I guess thats why it was more of a sin. That she changed for him. If she was still the shallow brat, I wonder if we would have felt as deep a remorse? Such an arnav thing to say in this diary..:

"I can only hope that she has been able to move on as well.."

Ah the second step:

"I have visited the Guptas many times."

I like how you begin by clearing the air about the rest of the family..and when he does finally get to himself..he moves on to khushi.

I am glad you made him stay! The what ifs are all wishful thinking..he knows that. Its funny how whole heartedly I have come to accept the soft-heartedness (cheesyness is a strong word) evident in arnav's writing, since this story began. I dont even question it twice. It has always felt so natural..even if its not! Thanks to Juhi's magical story telling prowess.

I knew that letter would not go to waste. I knew it would be read 101 times in a day.

Third step:

"Of course, my pain and suffering is nothing compared to hers."

So what has stopped him is breaking her dream, for the 4th time YAY!

OK finally to the part I was waiting for..Arnav himself. Obviously in this whole story I have made many accusations and assumptions about your Arnav's character..and what he needs to do. But at the end of the day, I probably don't know him as well as you do..i am so sorry about the non-stop blabber on that particular topic!

"she will not find the same Arnav she left behind all those months ago."

Because *DRUMROLL* Last step:

"Love is putting her happiness above all else."

Love the way you got there..

OBVIOUSLY the sneaky aman through juhi:

"we have an intern who is doing her training abroad, and has chosen A.R for her two month internship."

pestering arnav..ah

I can't stop laughing:

"reached it's peak."

"this lovely hallucination."

Arnav changing is ok..but now he is going all professor trelawney!

And finally this is why I love you damnit!