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Chapter 33: There's no me without you
The way she slept in his arms, it was beautiful. She was nothing less than an angel that had fallen from heaven... she was everything he needed. 'Tum saans ho meri,' he whispered, planting a light kiss on her forehead. 'Tum dhadkan ho meri.' Maanvi shuffled closer to him and he welcomed her with open arms. 'You okay?' Virat asked, as the sound of Maanvi's coughs entered his ears.
'Hmm... ' a somnolent Maanvi replied.
'Good,' he whispered back. He pulled her a little closer, so she could feel his warmth and he could feel hers.
'Bachi,' Maanvi whispered drowsily, 'meri beti.' Virat felt the same throbbing and piercing pain in his chest that he did every time Aahana was brought up. He couldn't, he just couldn't stop feeling guilty; miserable that he had killed his own blood. Every time he saw himself in the mirror, a criminal reflected back at him... and it was at these times when he realised that he was a murderer... he had murdered to souls, one of his child and the other of a mother. He pulled her close, again, to comfort himself and to break his chain of thoughts.
'Maanvi,' he said, his voice as silent as ever, as he entwined his fingers with hers. He kissed her cheek gently which made her stir.
...and with that they both fell asleep, trusting one another to save each other if peril ever came to threaten them.
It was early in the morning when Maanvi's eyes opened to what was to her another uneventful and meaningless day. She stretched a little, startled to find that she was in his arms. Virat woke up as he felt her body tense. 'It's only me,' he whispered.
'I know,' she replied. 'That's exactly the point. Why are you here?'
'Because you needed me,' he replied.
'I didn't. I never did and will never do.'
'Promise me?' he challenged. She began to get off the bed but he pulled her back down, 'Promise me,' he repeated.
'I've no need to,' she retorted, getting up again.
'For God's sake it's only 4 in the morning. Why on earth are you getting up?'
'I'd do anything to get away from you,' Maanvi inconsiderately tutted.
Virat took a deep breath, 'Why are you doing this to me?'
'I don't see any wrong in what I'm saying. It's my choice whom I want to be with, where I want to go... and for all I know, I never, ever want to be with you. Anyone but you.'
'Do you know that I've spent every moment of my existence loving you and never wanting to be without you? I'm sorry I haven't been able to express it all the time, and most of the time it has seemed otherwise, but I really, really have loved you with every breath I have taken. And after all this, do you have even the slightest idea how much it hurts to hear that you're ready to move on from me?'
'Ever since you let me go, Virat I have never even stopped at you, never thought twice about being with you. I've already moved on, I've no need to do it again.'
'Bloody hell, will you stop it Maanvi?! And for that matter, you claiming you've moved on, do you have any way to prove it? It's only natural for anyone to believe that you love me-'
'-and why do you believe that?'
'Because I can see your love for me in your eyes. And my wife's eyes never lie to me Maanvi, never. Even in those moments I thought I hated you the most, I read the love you had for me, but I just never brought it up. I've always seen your affection for me, Maanvi... I just never found the need to express it, but today, today I do. I feel the need to remind you of the amount you love me, of the amount you need m... of the amount we need each other.'
'Virat will you stop it? Stop making up stories about how I feel for you. If I find the need to express what I feel about you I will, in fact that's exactly what I'm doing. You've no need to cover up for me, can we get that straight? The only right you have is to express yourself and mind your own business.' Virat rolled over on top of Maanvi and kissed her gently. 'Virat stop it! What are you-?!'
'Expressing myself, you said I had the right to do that,' he suggested.
'Virat this isn't funny. I hate you. If I had any other way of saying it I would. I wouldn't love a murderer to save my life, especially not one who killed my daughter. You're the reason she's not here Virat, and I'll never forgive you for that.'
Weeks went by but Maanvi's attitude towards Virat didn't change a tad. She refused to do anything with him... her lips were always sealed when he came past. Sleep was the biggest problem. Maanvi's medicines let her sleep, but she still felt uncomfortable and she always woke up from these dreadful nightmares which made her feel as sick as ever. Despite Virat's continuous attempts to convince Maanvi to let him sleep with her, at least until she felt better, Maanvi refused every time. On the other hand, Virat couldn't get to sleep at all. He rolled and tossed but nothing worked. He'd given up. He didn't know what to do. Was she really never going to forgive him? Was this his punishment for everything he had done to her?
It was that night though, that one night that changed everything.
'Mannu?! Mannu!!' Jeevika screamed.
'Jeevika, Virat ko bolao, abhi,' Viren's voice was firm.
Jeevika ran to Virat's room, as fast as her legs would let her. 'Virat! Virat, please! Virat!'
'Bhabhi, bhabhi what's wrong?'
'Virat patha nahi Mannu ko kya hogaya hai... wo-woh saans nahi le paarahi hai... Virat please tum dekho na, please... ' Jeevika cried.
Virat ran to her room. Maanvi was on her bed in the worse state he had ever seen her. Her entire body was shivering; sweat covered her face as she rolled her around, every muscle tensed. 'Maanvi?!' Virat called urgently as he lay down beside her.
'Mein doctor ko phone karthi hoon.'
'Nahi bhabhi, mein samhaal loonga.' He lay down beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. 'Maanvi, shhh, main hoon na,' he soothed. 'Shh.'
It was nothing but magic... the way her muscles began to relax against his body... the way she trusted him to save her. He felt her heart beat slow down to its normal. She was going to be okay. He would never let anything happen to her.
A few moments later she woke up, still in his arms. Jeevika and Viren were still in the room. She coughed a few times, feeling slightly sick. 'It's okay, you're fine,' he whispered. When she saw him, at first she felt relaxed, but then suddnely something erupted inside her building a wall between their bodies and hearts.
'Vi-Virat!' she screamed, 'Go-go away! What are you doing here? Go' go now! Why did you come? I told you to stay away from me!'
'Mannu, Mannu! Stop, stop. Virat hasn't done anything wrong. Tu theek se saans nahi le paa rahi thi, meinney usse bulaaya thaa!'
'Kyun di?! Mein maru ya jeeyu, isse kya farq partha hai ?! Nahi rehna mujhe isske paas.'
The Vadheras came into Maanvi's room at the sound of her voice.
'Virat why don't you understand?! I hate you! I don't want you anywhere near me! Go away! Leave! You killed my daughter at your own choice! At least let me die in peace!' she cried.
And at the exact moment Virat Vadhera had had enough. It was time to make Maanvi realise the amount she loved him... it was time to make her understand.
Edited by .Kriti. - 12 years ago
Jhanak
