Part 5
ACP Adhiraj Singh Solanki looked at his father, Ganraj Solanki.He wants to hate his father, but he cannot.The past of his father is so prominently visible that Adhiraj feels suffocated sometime.When he came to know about Khushi Kiran Gaur, he became damn angry. He came heavily upon his father, he wanted to kill that girl. How embarrassing it was! When his father was having a happy family, he was having illicit connection with another woman, Adhiraj was angry because it hurt his mother's dignity. It is very insulting for a wife whose husband have another woman in his life.But his mother never spoke about it. As if it meant nothing. Just another incident in her life.
But each and every grudge of Adhiraj went into drain when Khushi claimed nothing. Neither Ramchand claimed anything, neither Khushi accepted the share of property nor she wanted the name of Solanki. He was ready have a fight over the inheritance, but Khushi never came on his way. She didn't even come before them for a single day. She herself didn't enter in any contest.She defeated herself.That day Adhiraj realised that she finds Ganraj more disgusting than Adhiraj does.Adhiraj wanted to hate Khushi, but he could not.
Anyways, Adhiraj cleared his throat..said ,"You wanted to talk to me?"
" Yes, please have a seat..."
Adhiraj took a deep breath...sat on the sofa..said ,"What is the issue?"
" I know, you hate me. I don't blame you for that. My infidelity has put a question mark on many people's life.You are one of them. I know asking forgiveness is not enough..."
" I don't want to talk about it..."
"Adhiraj..."
"Ask forgiveness , if you really want, from my mother..she had every right to have a faithful husband, you denied that..do you realise what does that mean?"
" There are so many thing which are better to be concealed ..for the better..believe me.."
"Then why are you giving me explanation? I didn't want any.."
" You could have a sister ..she may not be your sibling Adhiraj..she is your sister..you can't deny that..."
"I refuse to accept that..she is nobody to me...she is your illegitimate daughter..she is nothing to me.."
" Adhiraj, she is not claiming anything, is that your worry that she will snatch your rights?..She will not..and you know that..all I am asking you..to take care of her.."
" Why me?How can you believe me?"
" If I can't believe my one child that he will take care of my another one..whom should I believe?She is very alone Adhiraj. I wouldn't have asked you if her mother was alive...Ramchand has very less days to live..I brought her in this world..I cannot escape my liability.."
"Yeah right, what kind of person Ramchand is...I mean how much he loves his wife..his unfaithful wife..and you couldn't even return the fidelity you got from your wife...how could you?"
"Son ,listen to me..."
"Just because she got paralysed...you had to be unfaithful? Have you ever thought..what if you would have got paralysed like her..what if she would have been unfaithful..."..
Adhiraj could not complete.."Enough..."..Ganraj said in a firm voice.."You have said enough ACP Solanki...it's final..we will not talk in issue..never...I assure you..."..
Ganraj left the room..came to his bedroom...Garima, his wife was seated near the window..on a wheelchair, she has been sitting on the chair for last twenty five years.When she got paralysed, Adhiraj was five years old. Garima was 25 when she sat on wheel chair for the first time, her husband was 27.
"What did he say?"
Ganraj took a deep breath, " No matter what were the circumstances , no matter what was the reason..fact remains fact Garima..I became unfaithful, Khushi is the result of my infidelity..I cannot blame my son for not being considerate to me.."
"But he doesn't have to be harsh on that girl..she is the victim..she is the actual victim...she never expressed her grief, her grudge in true sense.."
"You do not have any grudge against me?"
Garima gave a sad laugh...".. I had..speaking honestly..I had..possibly I still have.."
Ganraj sighed deeply.." I think we should leave her alone..when she is not claiming anything, when she said nothing..when she is not questioning anyone ..when she asked nothing..why should we bother? Let her be on her own...let her be in peace.."...
"That is the problem..she said nothing, she did nothing...she is being lost day by day..Nirmala Baisa was telling me that since that incident took place, she didn't go to meet them...she just appologised and left..never went back.."...
"What about Arnav...?"
"Still trying..."
"I think he should leave her alone too...after all he is not the only man in the world...if Khushi doesn't want to marry him, if she wants to marry somebody else..then she has every right to do that...I don't understand why everyone is after her..."
"I told the same to Arnav's mother...latest..Ambar is after Payal...and Ramchand is supporting this."
***********
24th July,2009..Jodhpur
Khushi worked continuously for 3 days and 3 nights, without any break.It proves that she was disturbed to the core, neither she felt like sleeping nor she felt any trace of appetite.She was working mechanically..her mind was telling her to stop this crap..but she was carrying it on and on.
She would have left Jodhpur long time ago, but she can't leave Ramchand. That will be grave injustice to that man.She closed her eyes...she thought about Vaidehi..who gave birth to her..she felt deep pain..
"Amma...why don't you love me...?"
"Go away..."
"You do everything for Jijee..what have I done Amma? Why are you so angry ?"
"Khushi...go away..don't instigate me..Payal is my own..you are nothing to me..you get that..you are no one..."
"Why Amma...? I will tell Bapu..that you do this to me...you beat me..I will tell Bapu.."
Vaidehi slapped her.."Who is your Bapu...? He is not your father...you don't believe me? Ask him...he is not..."
"Amma..don't say like that...what is my fault..?"
"You will not go away..you will not get lost..right?"..Vaidehi took a burning wood piece from the oven...stepped forward..grabbed Khushi's wrist.Pressed the burning wood to her skin..
___
Ramchand came back from work.Saw Payal, she was crying profoundly.
"What happened?"
"Amma has burnt Khushi..."...Ramchand ran inside , saw a senseless kid, with a burn injury on her left upper arm..Vaidehi was seated near. Her eyes were blank..as if she just realised what she had done.Ramchand took Khushi to hospital.
"What happened to you?"..Ramchand asked when Khushi regained her sense..
"You are not my father..right?"
"What?"
"Amma told me...when I said that I will complain to you...that she beats me everyday.."..Khushi saw Ramchand's horrified face..Ramchand took off her frock then and there..a violate mark was there in her abdomen, as if very hard hit was made..another mark was on her back.
He took a deep breath.."I will tell you reality..but you will not be angry..okay?"
"Okay..."..Ramchand was collecting all his courage to speak to a 6 years old kid about her birth."Your Amma is right..I am not your real father...but she is your real mother..."
"But you are always good to me..you are real..she is not real.."
"It's not like that, Khushi...things are not that simple...you won't understand..."
"Try to make me understand...you tell me..I will never ask about it to Amma..she may stop beating me..."
Tears welled up..Ramchand couldn't help."I will tell you, you may not understand fully, but with the growing age you will understand...
When Ramchand stopped , he saw the pale face, some tears...that was the last time when he saw tears in her eyes.
$$$$$
Almost a year passed after that...neither she went to her mother, nor her mother came to her.Both of them spoke nothing. Khushi heard once, Ramchand's conversation with Vaidehi..
"What you have done, you will regret always..you have destroyed all her softness, her innocence..did she really deserve that?"
" I don't want her...she is the dirt of my life...I thought she could be a stillborn, if I prayed to God for a single moment with all my heart..god wouldn't have sent her to me..."
"Are you out of your mind...?"
"Yes..I am .."
" I have explained everything to her, how she came to the world..she will not bother you again..you don't have to be her mother...just stop being inhuman to her.."
With passing day , Vaidehi was getting more insane.Khushi didn't go to her...one fine day, Payal was in school, Khushi was in house, Ramchand was out of station with Arvind Rathore.Khushi was passing by her mother's room, she saw her from window.She was taking out some saree from almirah.She made a roll, did something..stood on a chair..threw it to ceiling fan...made a loop, wore the loop around her throat..
This was new to Khushi, what was her mother doing? By the time she went inside the room, her mother was hanging.Her eyes were closed, tongue was out..
Few hours later,
Her mother was laid down on the floor, agarbatti was smelling good, diya was lit.Amma was dressed like a bride.She was sleeping. Bapu was crying , Jijee was crying..Jijee was not leaving Amma.Khushi rested her back against the wall.Bapu took her there..."Touch her feet..take the blessing.."..said Bapu..
Then Amma was taken on the shoulder of few men, Bapu was in front of all..she ran behind her Bapu.An hour later, her mother was laid on woods,Bapu added the fire...within a minute , her mother was burning.She came to know that it's Hindu ritual to burn the dead body.So , it was her mother's dead body.She was dead.How she died?
Means, in that room, by that method..Amma was dying.She was killing herself.Suddenly she felt that burn which her mother gave to her.The burn was in her heart.All her tears was dried, only a feeling of burn was there.
When she grew up , in her teenage days, friends did many gossip, one day the topic of gossip was suicide.How much fascinating suicide can be, in the name of your love, dignity..your unfulfilled desire..she only laughed.Laughed on the ignorance of her classmates.
While studying law, she learned about suicide in details, the motive, to heat of the moment, the mental state, the reason.Then she started to feel guilty.If only she would have called her..."Ammaa..."..at that moment, she might have stopped herself..that moment would have passed..
Guilt was added to grief.The burn , the flame got higher degree.
*************
@ Khemkaran
Arnav randomly thought about her, when her mother died she was a kid.After that, she came to meet his mother. Mother took her in her arm,, made her sit on her lap.
"Missing your Amma?"
"No, I saw what she was doing..."
"What was she doing...? You had a dream?"
"Nooo..that day..when she died...I know ..how she did it..."
Arnav heard his parents conversation, secretly..."Does Ramchand know that?"
" No idea, if not..shall we talk to him about him?"
" Why should we? Who knows , after knowing this, how Ramchand will react.. Khushi witnessed everything, every moment, when his wife was committing suicide...Niramala...let's not talk about it..."..
Arnav woke up at midnight, his phone was ringing..it was Khushi.Arnav was dead stunned.He himself had a Deja Vu kind of dream...
"Khushi? It's 3 am in morning...everything okay..?"
" Just thought about Amma..she was hanging there..I should have called her that time...what do you think?"
Edited by yakkudimag - 12 years ago
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