Part 6
"What?"..Arnav was amazed..for the first time , she was talking about that.
"I feel horrible..everyday..every moment.."
" Do one thing...stay away from everything..take a break..go somewhere which is totally unexplored by you..do something else...you understand me? You are mentally exhausted...I was about to request you to come to me..but..you will get disturbed then..you find me disgusting..so, be somewhere else..do something else..something very arbitrary..abstract..."
" What will I do?..I don't know anything else ..other than litigation..practising law is my job, my entertainment too...I can't do anything else.."
" Please..listen to me for once, you think only in one track..investing all your energy in one ..is not good..trust me..do something else..I would say..have a relationship..."..said Arnav and stopped.."Shit..what have I said..."..he kicked himself mentally..
" Are you out of your mind?"
"Why? Because I told you to have a relationship? You find that abnormal or bad?"
"I know what are you trying to say..."
" I said what I think..and don't think otherwise..."
" Forget it..."
"What happened..."
"Nothing...bye.."
"Arre...talk to me..."
"I don't want..."
"Okay..come to me..."
"What will I do there...?"
"There are many things you can do..rather we can do..."
"Stop being vulgur,..."
"I just meant that I will show this place, sight seeing..we will explore the place.. beautiful place..what did you think?"
"Nothing.."
Arnav smirked..said, " I am not that bad Khushi...stop doubting my intentions..I will do nothing to disgrace you..nothing against your wish...trust me..don't you think that we had enough tension between us...?.."
"Again..?"
"What..I dream about you..every night..I kiss you in my dream...you kiss me in my dream...we make love..."
"Stop it..."
"Why? Is it bad..? Tell me.."
"Arnav ..please..."
Arnav was surprised, Saa was vanished..no Arnavsaa...just Arnav..not bad..!
"Khushi..may I ask you one thing..?"
"What..?"
"Please...convince Payal..Ambar really loves her..."
"It's her decision..trust me ..I said nothing against Ambarsaa..."
"That I understand...but Khushi..Ambar is really alone, after his parents' death, I know, how he overcame, he litterally lost interest in life, he is a good man, Payal has to marry somebody someday, why not Ambar ?"
"Jijee is not ready..what can I do?"
Arnav became silent,Khushi said, "Are you there?"
"Yeah..see, don't punish someone for someone else's fault.What I have done, only I must be punished, not Ambar..I am not asking anything for myself,..."
"Bapu is very sad..he requested Jijee to consider about Ambarsaa..."
"How is your father?"
"As daughter, I and Jijee want him to live long,but Jijee said that day, he doesn't have much time..."
Arnav felt deep pain.If Khushi was in front of him, he would have hugged her, consoled her..."Marry me.."..Arnav said , at last..
"Why? Because my father is dying?"
"No..that's not the reason..you need me..I need you..I love you Khushi...I love you a lot..everyday is a struggle for me without you..."
"I don't need you.."
"No? Then why are you talking to me at this time? Why are you pretending to me and yourself?"
"I am not pretending..."..said Khushi while rubbing her bosom..her lips.It was a giant task to control herself.The moment Arnav told about his fantacies about her.. she felt a shiver in her body, which shook her entire self.
She took a deep breath, "Khushi, I am 32 now...I don't want to die as a bachelor, I spent so many sleepless nights thinking about you..."..said Arnav in a husky voice.
"Thinking about me? Doing things with me..."
Arnav raised his brows.."Doing things! Not bad..you know those things?"
"No..."
"I will teach you..give me one chance.."..Arnav mocked.
"Shut up..."
"Let me do that once...trust me..you will beg for more...you didn't forget my kiss.. right...? I will give you more pleasure.."
"What kind of pervert you are...I am mourning about my dead mother, who committed suicide in front of me..and you are talking about your lust? Don't you have any shame?"
Arnav laughed..." You were very disturbed Khushi..I believe you didn't sleep since last week...I was just diverting your mind..do you feel less burdened now?"
Khushi was stunned..Arnav went on, " I am not a pervert Khushi,I never was a pervert...but I don't deny my feelings about you..and..I will suggest you not to think ..not to brood so much..do you realise where it is taking you?.."
"Arnav.."
"It's not the other people, it's you who is keeping alive the malady..trust me..you take pride of your grief..you want to live with that..what happened between us..I cannot change that..but what are you doing to yourself? Have you ever thought about that?"
"What do you want?"
"Live your life Khushi..don't relive your grief...and please..sleep...else you will become insane one day..and never call me Arnavsaa again...call me Arnav.."
"I can't.."
"You can do it very well..you are doing this for last 30 minutes...in future keep that in mind..go to sleep..and let me sleep..I have duty in the morning..good night..."
"Good night.."
+++
When Arnav slept a peaceful sleep after the conversation,Khushi went to the bathroom.Took off her clothes, looked at her bosom.Her buds were stiff, she rubbed them vigourously..they should not be like that, how can she feel like that? Just because Arnav told something mushy..her body got excited?What a shame!
She touched her lips, she recalled the moment when Arnav kissed her intensely. The warmth of his lips met the tenderness of her lips, the rigidity of his chest met the softness of her breast. She was touched by a man for the first time.And she liked it.
One of Khushi's school friend once shared her experience. Her body was explored by her distant relative one night.She loved that.She felt proud of her womanhood.
When Arnav kissed her, the feeling was very similar.Though it lasted for few seconds, but Khushi felt like eternity.And then Arnav pushed her away.And said "Get out.."
Khushi felt a sudden jerk.She was thinking about that man!
She felt worst when she found her panty got wet.She was aroused!
She started to wash herself, she felt miserable.Then thought about Arnav, his large frame, what if he takes her in his embrace, what if he touches her again!Will she stop him?
She stood under the shower, this is called need?The need of a woman? Did this need drive her mother? Need to be touched by the man she desired? But it is fact that Vaidehi loved Ramchand with all her heart.Did she really desire Ganraj Singh Solanki?When Ganraj was inserting himself into her...whose picture was in her eyes?Was it Ganraj himself? Or it was Ramchand only?
At a tender age of 20, Vaidehi got to know that her husband had become impotent. Ramchand was injured, and Doctor said neither he will reproduce nor he will be able to make love.
By the growing age, Khushi started to realise the circumstances. She was the result of that circumstance...when her mother had no other option to fulfill her need.Need to live.Whenever she saw Khushi,she remembered her infidelity.The circumstances demanded more.Thus Khushi came in the world.
++++
It was 4:30 in the morning when Khushi came out from the bathroom.And threw herself on the bed...and fell into deep sleep.After so many days she actually slept.
When she woke up, she saw Payal, she just returned.She had to go to Rathore House, early in the morning.Khushi rubbed her eyes...said ,"Jijee..what happened? Where did you go?"
Payal looked at her..."Ambarsaa got an anxiety attack, Hukum called me on urgent basis.."..said Payal.Khushi was shocked.."What are you saying Jijee?".
"Yeah, his pulse was missing for some moments.."..Payal said in a melancholic tone..."Khushi..I was thinking..."
"That we are being unfair to him?"
"Not exactly..."
"What did you see there Jijee?"
"He is not being able to digest my rejection...besides he is still mourning about his parents..what I saw today..."
"You want to marry him?"
"No..."
"Then? Jijee..if you marry somebody, marry only for the sake of marrying..not for sympathy..out of sympathy, you can treat him as a patient.."
"I really don't know what to do..."
"Be his friend..get to know him..let him know you...after that if you really think that you want to marry him..then go ahead.."
"You are saying this? You?"
"Look..Jijee..whatever happened, we cannot hold him liable for that, he came much later, he really has nothing to do...beisdes, don't you think that we are reliving our grief and pretending to live our life?"
"What is the matter with you?"
"Last night I had a talk with Arnav Singh Rathore...he told me that I am reliving my grief..though it was Arnav Singh Rathore..but do you think that he was saying something wrong? Aren't we taking excess burden on our mind?"
Payal raised her brows...that was really new to her..okay.."Continue"..said Payal..
"All I am saying ,Jijee..that , you and me, did nothing wrong, but it's us ,paying the highest toll for whatever happened..you are getting disturbed, I am being insane.."
"If that is so, then why are you avoiding Arnavsaa..?You want me to reconsider ..then you should also do the same.."
"Ambarsaa is different entity Jijee..that is why I am telling you to rethink about him ..as far I am concerned..let me be as I am...and...Bapu wants you to be safe...it will give him relief..he doesn't have much time.."
"You are angry because of that day..now I understand.."
Khushi looked blunt..she gave a sigh..."It's not that Jijee..I am not angry..destiny has injured him enough...let us not injure him further..."
"You really think that I should marry Ambarsaa?"
"First you get to know him, think about it..then if you really feel that you can be happy with him..just go for it.."
"What about you? things will change if I marry him...Bapu will not be with us for more time..what will you do? You will live all alone?"
"I am fine Jijee..I am absolutely fine..."
Payal got frustrated..."All because of Amma...she made you like this..."
"She is not to be blamed Jijee..noway..she could have been with you..today.."
"One minute..look at me..look at me..damn it..look at me..."..Payal insisted..she saw her swollen eyes...her eyes were blood red..."You recalled that thing..again.. how many times I have to tell you..you couldn't have done anything...she was destined to die..you are not responsible for her death...she died because of her guilt..."
"She was not guilty Jijee...what should she have done then? At that age..when Bapu became impotent...Jijee...think about her...she didn't choose the way happily ..if that was so, she would never committed suicide.."
"I am not saying that she was guilty..but it was her guilty feeling..Khushi..I know she is not to be blamed..you are not to be blamed either...why did she hate you then? The way she used to beat you...she burnt your hand..was that really deserved by you?"
"Jijee..it's not easy to see the result of own infidelity...nobody can do that...she always believed that if she would have been damaged the way Bapu was, then Bapu would remain faithful to her...that feeling...she couldn't digest Jijee..." ..Khushi couldn't stand there anymore...she just ran...
++++++
Arnav was surprised to see the number on his mobile screen..it was Payal..
"Hello..Payal...Is Khushi alright..?"
"Why wouldn't she be alright? What have you told her that she shouldn't be alright?"
Arnav was taken aback..not at all guilty as charged.."..Payal listen..."
"You listen to me..stop torturing my sister.."
"I did nothing ..trust me.."
"Then do something..."
"What?"
"I never thought that I would say this to you...but I believe you can bring her back to life...I don't know why..but I really think that you can do it...Arnavsaa...she is getting insane...do something.."
"You are the Doctor..."
"I am treating your brother..he got an anxiety attack early in the morning..moreover..he is a normal case...my sister is extraordinary case you see..she needs you.."
"She doesn't need me...she hates me.."
" Yeah right..as far I understand my sister...she loves you deeply..from the very first day.."
"What are you saying?"
"You can't even understand that? Let me inform you..when you got public beating ..neither she ate..nor she slept for two days...I had to force her..."
"What?"
"I am not lying...I thought things will be sorted out..but she is getting insane..my mother committed suicide out of insanity...I will not be able to see my sister to follow my mother.."
"Payal..relax..tell me..what happened...?"
After that Payal had a long conversation with the man whom she hated the most. And she got the assurance that her sister will be alright eventually.
Edited by yakkudimag - 12 years ago
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Bindi
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