Kripa and Karan were playing video games after dinner that night. Karan managed to convince her to play a few games of NASCAR with him. Kripa knew that she agreed because he was going to call Angad over the next day. At the end she found it fun loosing control of the remote and leaning the way she wanted the car to go instead on moving the stick on the control. After loosing the last game, laughing through it, and finally dropped the control in front of Karan and leaned into him.
"That was fun." She took a deep breath controlling her chuckles. "I haven't laughed this much in years."
"No Kripa you haven't. I've never seen you this relaxed in a long time. It's been years since you've laughed so openly."
She nodded sitting up again, "I hate myself for being so stupid. For holding mistakes that I didn't make against myself." She smiled with her lips pressed together. "I'm sorry for being who I was before."
"Well it was a big thing…"
"No Karan." She placed her hand on his. "I mean about Aman's episode. I was so rude with you and you still helped me, supported me after Dad and Mom and everything else… thought high school and college. Thank you for that."
"You are my little sister, who cares if you disliked me before."
"No I never disliked you, I just envied you because Mom and Dad always loved you before me. They always remembered you before me. Every year on your birthday I had to wake up at twelve with them and wish you. On my birthday Mom would sometimes forget, wait to wish me until it was past six in the evening." She smiled sadly thinking about the incidence. "I still remember when I came home after breaking up with Aman. I wanted to talk to Faith or Mom, but no one was around." She felt him pull her closer, but allowed her to continue, it was the right thing to do. He should have sat down with her years ago and talked her through the entire incident. She leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes, the moments played in her head as she talked about them. "I still remember sitting on the bed crying, ripping pictures, and letters when you came in. I yelled at you and screamed told you to leave. But instead you slapped me; it still hurt when I touch sometimes."
Karan managed a low laugh kissing her cheek. "You deserved that and this."
"I suppose." Before she could continue the phone rang. "Can you get that?" Karan nodded and left. She sat against the sofa and closed her eyes.
She was sitting on the bed her head in her hand, Aman's words rang in her mind. "We're done, through! It's over with us."
"But Aman…" He pushed her off him, and walked away.
She stood up and rushed to her closet, took out a heart shaped box and dumped it on the bed. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she said ripping the pictures, letters, and cards he had given her. She threw the box across the room, towards the door when it opened.
She watched Karan cover his hands on his face as defense. "What on earth are you doing?" He picked up the box and tossed it on the bed.
"Leave from here Karan!" she yelled with tears in her eyes. "I don't need you to add to my problems." She started throwing things at him, hitting him nonstop.
Finally he took his hand and wiped it across her face. "Stop it." He said loudly, angry at her. She went numb, lax, crying. He cupped her face in his face and pulled her closer. "What's wrong? You can tell me Kripa, I'm your brother. I love you a lot and I can't see you like this."
She continued looking at him, and then hugged him. "I'm sorry Karan. I'm so, so sorry."
"Stop crying Kripa, tell me what's wrong?"
"Aman…"
"He's the guy you're dating right?"
"Was." She pulled a sob back and gulped. "Was dating. Karan he…"
"Kripa!" She felt someone shake her. She was sweating furiously. "Wake up its already twelve sweetheart. Come on." It was Karan. "Come on. Faith has called four times already."
She finally opened her eyes. The rays of the sun through the windows hit her eyes forcing her to close them again. She tried again, this time slower, but it didn't help. "Close the blinds Karan, please." She sounded terrible; her voice was barely able to leave her voice box. She cleared the throat and sat up. "I was having such a horrid dream." She spoke in a rusty, breaking, man voice. She tried again and then groaned. "Damn!" she tried to yell, and heard Karan laugh.
"Come on sister." He sat down beside her. "Take a shower and we'll get you some medicine. Angad called sometime back he should be coming over any minute now." The bell rang. "That's him." He stood up and walked to get the door while Kripa quickly rushed into the bathroom. She was a mess and there was no way that anyone expects Karan and Faith could see her like this.
"Hello Mr. Khanna." Karan and Angad shook hands with smiles. "You're fiance didn't seem too happy about you arriving."
"Oh," he said in a small voice. "Where is she?"
"She just woke-up, in the bathroom."
"I'll leave if she wants me to." He said still confused about her not being happy to see him. "I should actually."
"Angad come on, I was just playing. Come in."
"Where is Faith, she is the one who called me and told me to be here."
"Oh! I know why." He walked to the kitchen. "You want coffee?" He yelled.
Angad thought about it for a second, Kripa wouldn't mind. "Yes, I would love a cup." It was cold outside, something made Angad think that it would be white Christmas in California. He'd been having a white Christmas for the past four years, he wanted it again this year. But a white Christmas in California was very unlikely, but not impossible.
He stood up and walked to the kitchen. "So why did Faith call me here?"
"Well I'm sure she has a plan and then I'm sure she's planning to take you to the Church they go to every year."
Angad picked up a book and look through it. "Yeah Kripa told me about it last night."
"She was with you last night? Fishy."
"What do you mean?" Angad was confused was there something Karan didn't know that was about to mess things up. He continued looking at Karan with a careful expression. "I mean she had to go somewhere and I went with her." he paused for a seconds. "Just so we could spend time together. What did she tell you?"
"She told me she was going to a meeting."
"That's what she told me too," Angad mumbled annoyed.
"What?" Karan poured a cup of coffee for Angad and then other one for himself. "Well anyways you really surprised us that night."
Angad took his mug and smiled into it, "I surprised myself with the things I said myself, Karan."
"What does that mean?"
Angad shrugged shocked himself, "I hadn't even prepared a speech or anything. I just came to me. I was going to propose to her later but…" he trailed off.
"Morning Angad." Kripa said in her husky voice.
"Morning." He turned around. "What happened to you?" He placed his cup down and walked to her. "You were fine last night and now…" he smiled. "Look your eyes are yellow maybe you have jaundice?"
"You do?" Karan asked worried, rushing to her. "Let me see."
Kripa groaned, "Karan he's just being stupid. I don't have jaundice."
"Oh." Karan moved back and picked up his mug again.
"Angad," she looked at him. "What are you doing here? Can't you leave me alone for even a day?"
Ok so she was cranky because she was sick, Angad finalized. "I can leave if you want me too." he stated pointing at the door.
"Please." She turned him to the door. "Do me that favor." She turned towards the table and saw his mug. "Who gave you coffee, you're not suppose to have coffee for sometime." There was a mix of distress and frustration in her voice. The dream she had last night got her thinking again. The wired thing was she was having the dream after such a long, long time. Almost a few years later. As she pulled out a gallon of milk from the fridge, she continued wondering. Was this because something bad was going to happen again? She nodded her head and started pouring the milk in a mug.
Karan had left to attend his phone, while Angad was watching her pour the milk into her cup. He was amazed when she wasn't paying attention and the milk was about to over flow and spill.
"Kripa." He quickly took her hand to stop her. "Where are you this morning? I haven't ever seen you this lost. Is everything ok?"
She was still looking at her cup. A moment later she was placing the gallon on the counter and taking her head in her hands. Then after another moment she felt Angad's arms around her shoulders making her stand back up. He turned her and looked at her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she whispered back. "I'm just… sick." She tried a weak smile but it didn't work.
"Are you sure? You've been behaving really wired since I saw you coming out of Dad's office." Without answering she turned and went to the gallon of milk. Angad of course wasn't doing to stop until she answered. "Kripa will you ever answer my questions?"
Now angry she turned around and crossed he arms in front of her. "Angad I don't have to answer anything you say. We are engaged but it's nothing more than a stupid lie, a fake game." Frustrated and angry about her behavior she took a deep breath and stepped closed to him. "I'm sorry Angad. I…" she took a deep breath again and closed her eyes. "I'm just worried about something and I'm taking it out on you." She opened her eyes again, "I'll see you later." With a smile she left the room. Angad heard the door of her room close.
Kripa opened her closet and took out a small wooden box. She opened it and looked at the ring inside it. It was a silver band with the words Aman 'heart' Kripa embedded around it. She placed the box on her bed and sat down with the ring in her hand.
"Was I really in love with you?" She asked herself looking at the ring. Years ago, until the night they broke up she wore this ring everywhere she went, it never came off. When it did come off the following morning from their break-up she put the ring in this wooden box with other small things he had given her and locked it away. Today she looked at the ring in her hand and the ring in her left hand. "This ring was a lie," she looked at the ring Aman had given her. "And even this is a lie." she looked at her engagement ring and dropped the silver band (the one Aman had given her) and looked at her left hand again. "I have to get Angad and Amna married before its too late." She kissed her ring in her hand and closed the box, right when the door opened.
"Kripa!" Faith came running to her, and hugged her tightly. "I am so happy!"
Kripa smiled at her friend and placed the box back in her closet. "What's the occasion?" She turned and placed her hands on her hips. Faith looked at her now. She was wearing a pair of blue pajamas with a shirt. Kripa walked back and sat beside her.
"No occasion," Faith turned and looked at Kripa. "I'm just happy." Kripa nodded with a smile again. "Kripa I need to ask you something." She waited for a second. "Do you love and Angad and that's why you said yes or something else?"
Kripa stood up and walked to the closet simply because she couldn't lie to Faith. "I don't love him." That was only to convince herself that she wasn't going to any further fall in love with Angad Khanna. "When he asked me to marry him I only said yes for his father. You should have seen his eyes when he asked me." Now that was real. She wasn't anything but his friend, and because she thought the proposal was real for sometime she said yes because of Dev.
"Oh!" Faith herself, and Kripa heard the disappointment in her voice.
Kripa smiled and turned around. Before she could say anything there was a knock on the door. "Can I come in ladies?" Angad asked the two ladies.
"Of course." Faith said with a cute grin on her face.
Angad sat down beside her, "So why did you call me here?"
Kripa looked at Angad and then Faith. "You called him here, why?" Kripa sat down beside Faith as well.
"Because," she said slowly, looking at Kripa and then Angad. "I thought we could do something together."
"Like go watch something as stupid as The Omen again?" Kripa's voice was better than this morning but it was still husky and anyone could tell she was sick.
"You sound very nice, Kripa." Angad teased.
"Shut-up Angad," Faith smacked his arm. "The poor girl is sick; she didn't tease you when you were sick."
"Because I didn't sound like a girl. I really don't want to go Faith."
"I don't either." Kripa said with a nod. "Take Jason, Angad can go home and I can stay home and get some work home."
"Oh please, Kripa. Please get a life!" Faith stood up and looked at the two. "You look cute together."
Angad had a smirk on his face as he slid closer to Kripa. She stood up with her outfit and walked away.
"When will she change?" Faith said with a sigh.
"Never," Angad replied in the same defeated tone. Angad looked towards her pillow when he spotted the silver band Kripa had forgotten to put away.
"Faith!" It was Jason yelling from the sitting area. Faith left the room, and Angad quickly picked the ring up. He looked at it carefully, and then slightly turned it to spot the words. His eyes squinted before he read the words out loud. "Aman loves Kripa." He closed the ring in his hand. "So this is what Kripa is upset about."
Kripa came back into the room with pants and a turtle neck, something warm to keep her warm. "Come here Kripa." He patted on the bed, beside him. After thinking for a moment she sat down beside him. "I found something." He opened his hand and showed Kripa the band.
Her hand turned into a tight fist. Angad placed his hand in her fist and then felt it relax. Her hand turned, and when her palm was kissing his she closed her hand on his.
"Do you want it back?"
"Just put it in that drawer."
So he did that, and then looked back at Kripa. "Is that what you have been upset about?"
She nodded, "No." After a second she left his hand and went to close the door. Still turned to the door she spoke again. "I think you and Amna should get married." She tried to sound as happy as possible about it.
"What's the rush?"
Kripa turned around and sat back down on the other side of the bed. Talking about this without facing him would be much easier. "Because this ring in my hand," she looked down at her left hand. "Feels like a responsibility that I don't want to carry with me."
"That's why you took mine back?" They both heard the hint of taunt and anger in his voice.
"No that's not why I took the ring back." He felt her stand off the bed and from the corner of his eye watched her take something out. "You said there was nothing special out it. Now there is." She gave him the small box and he opened it looking at Kripa. "It says forever on it. I don't know why I picked that word, but I did." She looked at the ring in her own hand and took it out. "I don't need this, no one will ever even notice if I'm wearing the ring or not."
When she pulled the ring out of her finger Angad felt something go wrong. Like it was a sin for her not to wear his ring. They were actually engaged, lie or not.
"As far as that ring you can consider it a gift and you don't necessarily have to wear it on your ring finger."
"You're right." The words were forced. He looked up at her, "I wanted to go to the church you mentioned about last night, can we go?"
"Take Amna. She'll like it more."
"No," He didn't know what was wrong with him, but it was something terrible. "I want to go with you."
She looked at him carefully, and then nodded. "Ok." She placed and hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok? You look upset about something."
"I'm fine." He said almost to himself.
"Ok." She took her hand back and placed the ring beside him. "I know this isn't the right time but do you want to go to the hospital and we can discuss a few things? We are really running behind, after that we'll go to the Church and then back home."
He simply nodded, now looking at the ring she had given him. She left the room, "I'll wait for you… outside." she whispered before going.
Angad looked at the ring and the word on it. "Forever." he read. The way it sounded while reading it from the ring made everything sound so pleasant. "Forever." he whispered again. He took both the rings and slipped them in his pocket.
Forever.
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