FF: TIMELESS LOVE ARSHI- UPDATED CHAPTER 22!!!!

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Arshi143

@Arshi143

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Posted: 13 years ago

#41

fabulous! and lucknow got to her of all things!

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mankhush

@mankhush

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Posted: 13 years ago

#42

Wow u on a roll girl loving every chapter
This is superb

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ipkknd_gbdfan

@ipkknd_gbdfan

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Posted: 13 years ago

#43

I love it! Read it all in one go.

Things I liked are:

1. The pace of the story - not too dragged out, not too fast, but keeps the reader on edge. (The CVs should take some ideas regarding this from your story.)

2. Moderate descriptions which allows the reader to picture it in their own way and prevents the readers from getting bored. I've read FFs when they are describing the dress in detail and I tend to get annoyed at that. I've also read FFs where the plot is great, but there is no description (making it look raw). So I really enjoyed your descriptions...If only Hemmingway took some tips from you before writing "Old Man and the Sea" (which I HATED).

3. Plot - interesting and unique, and not about sexual attraction. It is quite different from other FFs.

4. Suspense created due to the characters' expressions - for example, KK didn't react to ASR at all. But we all know that KKG would immediately react and not ask for a handshake. This caused me to assume that KKG was no more. However, she reacted to the Lucknow part - so now, I am questioning myself if KK was a mask for KKG, or if something dramatic (such as partial memory loss) happened.

Things I felt could be changed (don't take it personally, cause writing is a lot harder than reviewing):

1. You could have shown how Anjali's daughter and ASR bonded a little more in depth. And the way you wrote that ASR lived only for Anjali and her daughter showed partiality towards Akash's son, and that didn't sink in with me too well.

2. There was potential in going into ASR's emotions upon the meeting - I mean, you could have made the readers cry by expressing his emotions (but if you overdid it, then it would take away the pace of the story).

3. I was a bit confused with what you were trying to portray with KKG's shock at going to Lucknow. Was she scared, uncomfortable, etc.?

Also, add me to the PM list please.

Update soon!

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barfi

@barfi

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Posted: 13 years ago

#44

pls pm really enjoyed it, story is so interesting would like to see how it will progress

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9staroneserials

@9staroneserials

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

Man these turns & twists in ur FF is mindblowing👏

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Usma55

@Usma55

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

Why doesn't she want to go to Lucknow

Update soon

Take as much time needed

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Indu

@redroses123

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

I read all chapters in one go just nw . It was superb!!!!. A complete new platform , lovd it , looking forward to ur updates , plzzz pm me when u update , waitng 4 d next part