FF: TIMELESS LOVE ARSHI- UPDATED CHAPTER 22!!!! - Page 6

Originally posted by: ipkknd_gbdfan

I love it! Read it all in one go.

Things I liked are:

1. The pace of the story - not too dragged out, not too fast, but keeps the reader on edge. (The CVs should take some ideas regarding this from your story.)

2. Moderate descriptions which allows the reader to picture it in their own way and prevents the readers from getting bored. I've read FFs when they are describing the dress in detail and I tend to get annoyed at that. I've also read FFs where the plot is great, but there is no description (making it look raw). So I really enjoyed your descriptions...If only Hemmingway took some tips from you before writing "Old Man and the Sea" (which I HATED).

3. Plot - interesting and unique, and not about sexual attraction. It is quite different from other FFs.

4. Suspense created due to the characters' expressions - for example, KK didn't react to ASR at all. But we all know that KKG would immediately react and not ask for a handshake. This caused me to assume that KKG was no more. However, she reacted to the Lucknow part - so now, I am questioning myself if KK was a mask for KKG, or if something dramatic (such as partial memory loss) happened.

Things I felt could be changed (don't take it personally, cause writing is a lot harder than reviewing):

1. You could have shown how Anjali's daughter and ASR bonded a little more in depth. And the way you wrote that ASR lived only for Anjali and her daughter showed partiality towards Akash's son, and that didn't sink in with me too well.

2. There was potential in going into ASR's emotions upon the meeting - I mean, you could have made the readers cry by expressing his emotions (but if you overdid it, then it would take away the pace of the story).

3. I was a bit confused with what you were trying to portray with KKG's shock at going to Lucknow. Was she scared, uncomfortable, etc.?

Also, add me to the PM list please.

Update soon!

Chapter 15

Arnav was happy for the first time after he met Khushi. He knew it was her. He finally knew his love was around him.

Arnav - Karan, why not Lucknow?

Karan- well…..I am sorry Arnav but Lucknow is not possible

Arnav- Yes but why?

Karan- well….It would be better you didn't ask any questions.

Arnav was not ready to give up.

He went into Khushi's cabin and saw that she was busy with her work. She was very hard working. Why every time he looked at her these days it felt like he was looking at himself. Like the way he was around her before.

Arnav walked up to her …

Arnav- Ms.Kapoor…wooh…If you check out the place….I am sure you will like it. We have organized many shows there.

Khushi looked up and she had a very firm expression.

Khushi - Mr.Raizada…I do not think you know that you are talking to Ms.Khushi Kapoor…and when I say I don't want it in Lucknow that's final.

Arnav- but….if you just saw the place once…

Khushi shouted - ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!

It was the first time someone had talked to Arnav in this manner. He was angry and at the same time he was too much in shock to see this side of Khushi.

Khushi- when I saw NO it means NO. Just because I haven't said much about your barged presence of you in my company doesn't mean that I would encourage this kind of talk. Now could you please see your self out.

Karan came in…

Karan- Arnav we are really sorry but we can't do the show in Lucknow. Even if we agree I don't think Mr.Ram Kapoor would agree to it.

Arnav walked out of the office.

Chapter 16

Karan - Khushi I know you are not allowed to go to Lucknow but if you could just listen to Arnav

Khushi - Karan you know its not in my hands. I don't even know the reason behind me not able to go to Lucknow. Bhaiya would never allow me to go there. I don't want to ask him and upset him.

Khushi loved his brother a lot and she wouldn't go against his wish.

Karan- yes but this could be big for us. Well we can come up with something.

Khushi - like what?

Karan- Bhaiya is in the US we can have it soon and I am sure it will be a chance for you to go see Lucknow.

Khushi- Oh really….and how are we going to hide from the media. It will be all over the news.

Karan- well…let me and Arnav deal with it. I will make sure we will hide the fact that you are in Lucknow from the media. You don't have to be in the public eye. I will make sure Bhaiya doesn't find out you were at the show. We can tell him that the show was mainly for AR and we were just supporters and you were there. I will handle it. Also Khushi it will give you a chance to finally see Lucknow. I know you want to see the place you are from. Haven't you tried to go there for a long time. This is your perfect chance Khushi and no one would know.

Karan's plan had Khushi thinking. She knew if she wanted to know the place she came from.

Khushi- ok then…but make sure no one finds out I am there.

Karan - ok I will cal Arnav and let him know. I will explain it to him…but will keep him away from the details.

Karan calls Arnav

Arnav- Yes Karan

Karan- Arnav , can you please come over and need to talk about the show.

As soon as he got a call from Karan Arnav knew he struck a deal.

Chapter 17

Karan- Ok Arnav this is the deal. We can have the Fashion show at the venue you suggested. But there is a condition. No one should know Khushi is present there. Kapoor Group will be just the supporter at the show.

Arnav - But Khushi is the main…

Before he could finish the sentence.

Karan - We can't disclose the details but that's the condition.

Arnav wanted to bring Khushi to Lucknow at any chance…he wanted to know if she remembers the events which happened between them or if she is pretending.

Arnav - Ok Karan DEAL!

Arnav was back at Shantivan

Arnav's Room

Anu- Mamu aap mere liye Mumbai se kya layeho?

Arnav - Tumhe apne books nahi mille??

Anu- books? Aap mere liye books laye hai? She said it with a sad expression. Kya Mamu…aap mere liye candy kyu nahi laathey?

Arnav - Any candy teeth ke liye ache nahi hai. Aur books se knowledge badthi hai?

Anjali- Arnav wooh 8 saal ki hai…

Arnav- haan di…but

Anjali - ok wooh rahne do…kya tum Khushi ji se mile? Kya kaha unhone? Kya wooh ayegi?

Arnav - Di wooh kya kahegi. I don't understand whats in her head. Pehle lo usne mana kiya phir..maan gayi par she doesn't want to be known that she is there. I don't understand what is she scared of.

Anjali- Chote..one step at a time. The fact that Lucknow ki baath unpe asar kiya who badi hai.

Arnav - haan di par mujhe bahut chinta hoti hai. Wooh khushi jo hasthey rahthi thi…ab wooh bahut gusse mein rahthi hai. Aisa lagtha hai ki wooh duniya se gussa hai. Itna kaam karthi hai ki….

Anjali- unke ghar mein kaun hai??

Arnav- Di wooh ek mahal main rehthi hai…sab usse bahut pyaar karthey hai. She has a brother, Bhabi…asia lagtha hai ki Khushi unki life hai. Par yeh log hai kaun? Khushi se itna pyaar kyu karthey hai?

Anjali- Tum kuch pata nahi kar paaye

Arnav- Di they are the most private people I have met. Media ko aur kissi ko unke barre mein kuch nahi pata. Maine kitna kosshish ki par..no information.

Anjali- Chote, tum zyada math socho…sab kuch teek ho jayega…

Arnav- par di jab Khushi aayegi..main usse kaise sorry kahunga? Wooh saare dard?

Anjali- Chote Khushi aapse bahut pyaar karthi hai. Sab teek ho jayega.

Arnav was broken inside just by thinking of all the moments of torture he bestowed on Khushi before she left him. She tried to tell him so many time that she was innocent. But he hadn't given her any chance. She hurt her in everyway possible. He still remembered those wet eyes looking at him, pleading him to trust her but he didn't.

Arnav knew that life has given him a second chance and this time he would make it right. She would give Khushi all the happiness in the world. But in all of this reality struck him that she was not his Khushi any more. She was a princess.