OS: Punishment - Page 2

That was one awesome os. I really wish now that this happened in the show. Khushi would defo have done that. Keep writing and pm me for future works.

😊BEAUTIFULL...plz continue

Really sweet and enjoyable OS.

It was really cute ... Wish Arnav had fed Khushi at the dining table though where the snake could see it too 😉😆😆

Great OS 👏

Its wonderful.. Loved it.. 😃

Its a nice sweet OS!! Loved it!!

What did I think? What did I think Yuks? I think I should virtually beat you for not writing sooner! I LOVED it! It was passionate, touching, stayed true to the exact people we see on screen, yet gave the scope of continuing the story without melodrama. I loved the language, the dialogyue,m the perfect character traits being shown-him asking her to get off the bed, the sidling closer when she's convcerned-what great nuance! I liked your work, which stayed true to the story while spelling out the fact that these two idiots are crazy about each other, and will always be. their hearts reach out even if their minds dont.

Loved the build up of his unease, actually...the slow, steady sense, even though he had no real concrete proof, that something was wrong..Also,loved that small detail of how he tried to channel that into concern for Di, because that is the only woman Arnav Singh Raizada has given himself permission to care about, and ASR will stick to that, dammit!

I also thought, like you did, that if Khushi had any feelings at all, it would be self loathing for not having realized his health issues earlier, and I wish that had not gotten neutralized so quickly on the show. That whole I am ASR, so I act like a jerk thing was pointlessly done, IMO.

If the CVs had a tiny bit of your creative power, they could have used "Punishment" as a guideline. This scenario was plausible, keeping with the flow and would let them both realize how much they cared. ASR could have had his looking at the mirror and self realization moment when Anjali told him the details about Khushi at the dinner table-the brother sister quotient was maintained there as well!

Bravo! Please do write more, or I'll have to come after you, you know!