It was the magical day of my life when I gathered courage to face him on that take...I finally decided to go to his home and return his diary and confess everything which I should.!
Before returning home from office I decided to take a turn to mayank sir's home...when I reached there I found the door open,I peeped inside..no one was in main hall...I knocked it twice but no one answered...I slowly moved inside...his bedroom's door was also open...I again knocked...he was not in his bedroom...I was very much confused so I decided to return...but as I was about to go a sound of shutting door stopped me and I turned...he was there coming out from bathroom(in cloths)..he was startled to see me standing at his bedroom's door and said,
"Nupur...!you..here..."
"yeahh..actually main door was open so...I am sorry...sir..."I said hiding my embarracement.
"hey..relax..."he said and then thinking something he said,"I think I am not that elder than you..also I am not your teacher now..so you can call me Mayank,ok?"
My heart fluttered...I felt something amazing..."Okay sir...i mean Maya--nkk--"I said hesitately.
"Come inside"he made way for me and I entered in his bedroom.
I stepped inside and wondered each n every peice of that four-wall covered area..I adored even smallest thing in that room..dint know why I was feeling so much attached to it as if it was mine or going to be mine...I carefully sat on bed,he sat beside me leaving some space in between...after 5 minutes of awkward silence,he started,
"so how come you came here?"
I shuddered a bit due to nervousness and fear of his reaction,then I gathered all my courage,tried to control my heart-beats by repeatedly saying to myself "believe in love,believe in yourself nupur..."
I took out the diary from my hand bag and handed to him...his eyes went wide and wider...he was a bit shocked but he said nothing only looked at me as though giving me time to justify myself...
"I am sorry...I kept it with me...and...and I read it.."I said in trembling voice and glanced at him to see his expressions but they were amazingly as calm as before...I was confused why he could be so calm,someone had read his personal diary and it merely matters for him..or for him this diary has nothing to care about...that thought brought a tear in my eyes...if that feelings does not matter for him then...!!!
Yet I controlled myself and said,"Are you angry?"
He said nothing but smiled a bit which torned my heart...first time his smile hurt me...that means he don have any feelings for this diary...neither he bothered about it being read by someone...I closed my eyes to compose myself...and opened on his voice
"I am not angry nupur...I think there was nothing personal in that diary..."he said and I was shattered...little hope which was left also died on his one statement..."nothing personal" that was enough to break my dreams...for a moment I cursed myself for dreaming so much..for not overcoming my love for him...for loving a person who is not for me...I got up to go...
"I should take ur leave now...mum must be waiting.."I said and about to go
"Everything was written for you..."he said and my feet stopped suddenly a wave raised in my body and I felt like flying above ninth cloud...
I turned back with a wide smile on my face..he was gazing at me...it was too hard to hold and that too for me..my eyes fell and I started looking left and right...he came closer to me...
"do u remember I said that I'll tell u everything when you will be mature enough to understand..."
I nodded.
"That day your sad face torned me inside...I was feeling as I have hurt you indirectly...after party when I returned back I felt very uneasy...a guilt was there that I broke your heart... a sweet girl's tiny heart which was too immature to understand deep feeling of love..."
I was numb for a moment..never thought that he might have realized my feelings...and was feeling guilty!!!
"Diary writing is my habit..so I wrote that lines...and believe me those lines are as pure and serene as love is...coz I wrote them when there was nothing in my heart except love!"
I was feeling his each and every word was snatching the emptiness,pain and agony I always felt in my lonely days...he assured me that my feelings were always pure and so was his...
He stopped...looking into vaccum he said ,"I found your letter in notebook and kept it with me...there was something in it that I could'nt torn it and throw in dustbin...you know what is it???"
I looked at him questionably.
"Innocense...!innocent feelings and honesty..."he said.
It was so good to realize...I felt tears were forming in my eyes...I was unable to control and hold them...I was so happy that I wanted to cry in his arms,resting my head on his chest...I wanted to feel his love...
He was still looking into vaccum...I gathered all my courage and with all my love for him I said,
"I still love you...!"
But he dint react...still looking into vaccum...I waited for a while...he dint react...my heart was pumping fast...I shuddered...if I said something wrong..!I closed my eyes to compose myself and turned to go...while reaching at door I again looked back...
"I don'nt believe in love..it gave me nothing but pain!"he said and alone a tear rolled down on his cheek.
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Time never stops and so is life...it goes on...from that day I had decided that I will bring back his faith in love...I used to visit him occasionally...gradually we became good companion...he started trusting me and share his good or bad with me...yes it took time but with my support and his own will he filled PhD form and got admission in a very reputed college of the city...along with that he has also joined as a guest lecturer in a
college...I use to go directly his home after my office and prepare snacks for him...as he comes back from college we both take snacks together with coffee...we share our whole day activities with each other...sometimes my foolishness brings smile on his face and sometimes his pain brings tears in my eyes...whatever but we like eachother's company...in his home...I have created a small world of mine...in which I can laugh,cry and live my life happily with him...
He never says good and soothing words but sometimes his gestures,his intense eyes and his care somehow make me realize that he needs me...and he also like my existence in his life...things are getting better...
Sometimes I stay in his home for making dinner also...he never stops me doing all this for him...infact he admires me secretly and I know it...his content smile says all...
one day when I got late for home after making dinner,he became very much worried,
"Nupur...leave this and go to your home...its too late and its not safe for u..plz.."
seeing worry on his face for me...I smiled,"don't worry Mayank..I'll manage...its about to finish...I had prepared daal,rotis and..."
He cut me in between,"Enough for me..now you should leave...or wait I'll drop you..."he said even more worried.
"I am not a small kid Mayank...I can go...don't worry..."I tried to relax him and again lost in making dinner.
Don't know what happened to him..he came close to me and put his hand on my shoulder...I shivered a bit on his touch and looked at him...he was gazing me...his intense gaze made me shy...I was fighting with my cheeks to not blush...he cupped my face and I closed my eyes...
"why don't you stay here forever..."he said and I opened my eyes with surprise...I was unable to believe on my ears..was he saying to stay here..to stay with him forever..!!!
There was no limit of my happiness...I was feeling as if I got wings and flying in sky...I wanted to hug him but before I could do so..he embraced me...!
Life is not a fairy tail...neither it gives us all we desire...but some wishes are fulfilled when you make efforts for them...love does not come like a cake to cut..it needs devotion, patience and your belief in it...I never thought that one day he will come back in my life but if it happens then this means life has given me a second chance...life gives us fair chances to seek happiness...its just we need to understand the signals...!
He was right, I was immature to understand the soul of love at that age but as my feelings were pure,I understood it now...and as he was destined to be mine ,I got a second chance.
I am leaving here with a hope that soon I will be with my love forever...hope that you will also find your love and take chances of life as they come...and one thing I have learned from my life that love does not know any
boundaries..love has no reason...!
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