MG[SS]-Just a Dream or Two Behind You [IMP Note - Pg1 & Pg71] - Page 47

Originally posted by: --Shika--

Surprised as in how i got to edit comment so soon? Even i am😆

As the reat Geet from Jab We Met says "Joh kuch insaan real mein chahta hain..actually..ussey woh milta hain"

So My bro got some urgent work..bless that urgent work! I got PC😆

So let me start my dissection..😆

You bro went away and so did our power supply. Upar se, I have not been able to get ten odd minutes of peace to get back to you guys. Lolz

Originally posted by: serenelove

Hey Jazz,

It was an unexpected (as I did not think u will write one) & very striking epilogue.

Yeah...it was pretty much unplanned. Lightening struck and words flowed out.

Geet's love was not synchronic to Maan's confession but it came as piecemeal with them sharing bit by bit, behaving cordially that came naturally, understanding other's relations & adopting to situation, having one & only mutual friend 😊. It was written so'. magnificently.

Thank you!

Geet wanting Maan to hear her ideas & give suggestions showed how much comfortable they became with each other in the midst of time they spent together.

Geet is right that "loves means different things to different people." & different people behave differently when in love.

Right from the start of this fic, Maan's character was depicted as a bit recluse but love has power to change a person this much that a person who does not believe that words are his forte describes the ineffable feeling of love in the way that can make some non-believer believe in love. 😍

Dadi is one of the best dadi in the fics that I have read, she is not only intellectual but a very amiable person also who readily accepted Geet & helped her to confess in her own style.

First Maan's "When your heart cries out for their heart; like calls to like and every part of you has a reflection in them." & then Geet's "For every dream you have stood behind, I lost a part to you, of what was mine. And for every dream that you will stand along, only to you shall I forever belong." Confession was charming. (Totally loved it) Both of them reached to a point where other's happiness matters more & this instantly brought this rhyme in my mind

"DARYA MAIN QATROON KI SORAT GUM HO JAON...

APNAY AP SAY BAHIR NIKLOON TUM HO JAON"

I love these lines. I have been repeating the last part ever since I read it last night. Apnay ap se bahar nikloon tum ho jaon...waah!! What a beautiful line!

This story is one of best writing piece I ever read as if every word is weighted carefully. Thanks a lot for lovely read.

Thank you for giving it so much love. It was beyond what I expected.🤗

Originally posted by: deejayaqueel

Aha... What do we have here... *rubs hands in glee*...😛😛😛

I got a 'sneak peak' even before the...err... 'premiere...' 🤣

😛...no you did not..Lolz. The power went out before I could notify everyone of the update.🤔

Well, now to the Epilogue...

1. The first thing that came to my mind... was just HOW much of a visual person you are...!!

I paint...I guess its coz of that😳

This has to be most innovative Epilogue i have ever seen!! Till the point ...'after 3 years', i could almost see the Credits rolling on one side and the visuals moving... gradual but fast forwarded... almost like a 'flip book'...

Aww...Thank you Ustaad!!😃

So you got the 3 years in essence... yet without it feeling dragged... and the way the relationship was evolved was also brilliant... from tentative to comfortable to indispensable to tender to deep to passionate... love creeping in slowly but surely... i am almost envious of the relationship they had... it is what every woman would aspire to... 😆😆

Yeah...I wish Babaji made men like him for real😍

I esp. LOVED that line... 'The first panic attack at Maan's text message...' that made it so rich, endearing and so believable...

2. Maan's thoughts on love... Waah waah!! Poor guy shouldnt be scared of words... he becomes a poet every time he is in the proximity of his 'soon-to-be-authoress' love 😆😆 ...

I actually believe very strongly in these 2 lines you wrote, from personal experience at each stage

When your heart cries out for their heart; like calls to like and every part of you has a reflection in them

...the two who were beyond what the world was'

I think these 2 encompass what love is and why it happens. At any time depending upon your evolution and your goals for yourself and your life, you call into your life people who share a similar vision or a similar dream and your journey gets intertwined inexorably, as you start drawing towards each other and towards a shared goal...

Why do i love you, 'tis coz i love myself,

In your eyes, i see the vision of myself as my grandest self shining through

What the world has yet to see, those dreams i see in our eyes,

What the world has yet to believe, i see that conviction in our thoughts.

What the world has yet to experience, with you i seek to make that real

As i come to this juncture in my life, i see you at the cross-roads, taking the same turn i take,

Our paths cross, our destinations are the same i realize...

We walk together in companionable silence,

The journey is pleasanter since you are here, the miles feel nought...

You dont question the turn i took, you took it yourself,

I save my breath from explanations, and save it for the long distance i want to traverse,

You do the same, and with you alongside, we go farther that otherwise possible...

The journey draws to a close, I look back at the miles we covered, the memories we made, the experiences we created,

the lessons we learnt, the moments that enriched our lives... and i smile...

...I thank God for taking that turn at that precise moment as you did and i close my eyes...!

Ustaad if you keep writing such beautiful lines, I will keep writing for chance to get more such lines from you. These are fantastic!!👏

Ok, zyaada ho gaya, vaise, i have noted what Shikha said about the eloquence of your feelings on the subject... and quiz you on that separately, but that is not a subject for this forum... !! 😉

Iss Shika ki toh😡...kya Ustaad...apne Chotte ki trip loge?😆

3. Since i am still in that nostalgic mood, your ending is reminding me of 'Dhoop Kinare' (visually somehow) and i want you to PLEEEZ end it with those lines playing in the background...

Raat yun dil mei teri khoi hui yaad aai
Jaisay Wairanay mei chupky sy bahar aa jaye
Jaisay Sehraon mei hollay sy chalay baad-e naseem
Jaisy bimar ko be waja qarar aa jaye

4. AND TO END IT ALL... Jazz, in the commercial interests of the motion picture, and junta like us, ek kiss toh daalo na... (haha, yes yes from the sublime to the physical...!! 😆😆)

Banta hai...

Ustaad, we need Shika's express permission for a kiss!!🤣

PS: i know i am pushing it, first epilogue, then changes... think of it as the 'market pressure' the pore 'ol CVs have to go through!!!!

To end...

If well begun is half done...

well done is... the asking for a new beginning (of an FF)!!! 😆😆 😉😉

Nooo...no more FFs for me. I started one and its bloody tiring. I will stick to SS or OS for future.

Love and Hugs

Ustaad

Thank you for being here Ustaad!! 🤗