Maan sensed a sudden change in herā¦. her voice was far and aloof, which matched her facial expressionā¦ she has once again become cold, like how she was, when he met her days before... 'Oh Godā¦. Where have my Geet gone?'
Daksh started to sit up. 'Butā'
Geet looked at him steadily. 'Not another word.'
Daksh subsided onto his pillow, his expression talking mutiny, but his mouth thankfully shut. He lifted his face for Maan's kiss.
He brushed his lips against his forehead. 'Good night.' Rising, he moved back to make room for Geet.
Daksh sniffed and nobly offered his mother his cheek.
'Night, honey,' Geet whispered as she bent close. Daksh said nothing. Geet knew his game. If pressed, he would argue, 'You told me 'not another wordā¦' like, once she use to sayā¦ So Geet didn't press. She straightened and tipped her head toward the hallway.
Maan picked up the signal and turned to go. Geet followed after him, pausing to switch off the light and pull the door closed.
She realized that the washer had stopped. 'I ā¦ maybe I should put the clothes in the dryer.'
She saw suspicion in his eyes, as if he thought her laundry was only a ploy to put off the inevitable. And maybe it was...
After a moment he shrugged. 'Sure. Do it.'
She swept out a hand. 'Have a seat, why don't you?'
There was a sofa, the easy chair, the recliner. He could have his pick.
'Just deal with the laundry, all right?'
'Fine.'
She left him, striding purposefully through the kitchen and out to where the washer waited. She moved the clothes into the dryer and turned the dial. The dryer began rumbling. And then she had no reason to avoid going back to the family room.
She rejoined him. 'Well. I suppose we ought toā¦'
He smiled, but it wasn't a very warm smile. 'Get this over with?'
'Yes. I guess so.' Not that she had a clue where to begin.
He asked, in a low tone, 'Are you sure he'll stay in bed now?'
'He should.'
'Should' isn't good enough. I don't want him listening in.'
He sounded so grim. Grim and determined. His not-very-warm smile was gone altogether now. Her stomach went into knot formation. What was he planning? Did he mean to try and take Daksh away from her?
Dear Lord, let that not be so. She know he couldn't get the custody of Daksh, legally, as they were not married, but, in a country like India, where anything and everything is possible, if power and money is in your handsā¦ how much effort will it take to make a fake marriage certificate and she hoped, he will never do something like that, which tear Daksh away from her and the home he had known all his lifeā¦. But, the only way for him to take Daksh, is legally claim his cutody, and courts are much stronger now, on the side of the father. And Khurana's have plenty of money to spend on lawyers. He could provide the best for Daksh. He would surely get join custody, atleast, if he fought hard enoughā¦ And why shouldn't he do that? Today he had seemed very attentive. Like a man who would make an excellent fatherā¦
It came to Geet again right then, this time with certainty, the thought barreling down on her like a runaway train: their lives, from this day, would be so much changed.
He must have picked up something of the anguish she felt. He spoke more gently than before. 'Are you all right?'
She did the breathing thing, slow and carefully. And she swallowed. 'Yes. I'm just ā¦ a little stressed by all this, I guess. But I'll get through it.' She suggested, 'We could go out in back, sit on the patio. No way he can hear us from out there. And we can see in the window, in case he wanders out here.'
'Good idea.' He went to the door, opened it, waited for her to go through ahead of him.
They sat at the glass-topped patio table, in the comfortably cushioned patio chairs. It was a warm night, but not overly so. Geet left the patio lights off. Enough of a glow bled through the windows for their purposes.
And the darkness was comforting, easier on Geet's overworked nerves. Crickets sang in the grass, and the night birds called from the Jarul tree.
Maan sat back in the cushioned chair and rested his hand on the nubby glass of the table. Geet looked at that hand, in order, not to have to look directly at him.
But of course, that hand was every bit as dangerous to look at as all the other parts of him. All the parts that were so different ā and yet somehow too much the same.
'Geeet,' he didn't know how to continue or what to sayā¦
She didn't say anythingā¦.. just stared at that handā¦. Her mind blankā¦.
'Thank you Geet...' His voice, through the darkness, was low, soothing. Something just next door to tender. A lot like the voice of the boy she had loved.
'Thank you for allowing me to meet himā¦ He is brilliantā¦and a great kidā¦'
He pulled his hand back, laid it on the arm of his chair. She didn't follow it with her gaze, just continued staring at the empty place where it had been.
He said, 'Will youā¦. Will you forgive me Geetā¦ Can weā¦.' His words came between heaving breaths of emotion. His final words trailed off weakly as his face knotted up with intense emotionā¦..
She had started to relax a little ā but his question made her tense up all over again.
'I told you today morning when we met Maanā its about Dakshā¦ and only about Dakshā¦. If he wants his father, in his life, I don't have any problem. But, that's it.
She waited. For him to say more. But he said nothing. She found herself elaborating. She felt his eyes, watching. Somehow, she couldn't quite meet them.
'I'm happy,' she said, defiance creeping in. 'As I am. Just Daksh. And me.'
'Happy,' he repeated, as if he didn't trust that word or its meaning.
'Yes. Happy.' She raised her chin. 'And Iā¦, Look... What does it matter? Its not about usā¦ We have to discuss about Daksh. We have to decide what we're going to do.'
'We will. But first I'd like to ā¦ catch up on a few things.'
'What things? You need to know I am happy or no?'
'That is also, one of itā¦' He kept on looking at her. She could feel his gaze. It seemed to draw on her, to compel her to look back at him.
'What?' she demanded, giving in, meeting his eyes.
He was the one who looked away then. He stared off toward the high fence at the back of the yard.
They both were silent. The crickets sang.
Finally he said, 'This isn't getting us anywhere, is it?'
She swallowed. 'No, it is not.'
He confessed, 'I should have trusted you Geetā¦ atleast, I should have tried to know the truth, instead of blindly believing Devā¦blindly believing my family...'
Her heart melted when he said that. She had to swallow again.
He said, 'We lost something, Geet. Something so special. Something innocent and pure.'
She knew exactly what he meant. Love. So precious and rare. They had known loveā¦ Call it situation or fateā¦ they each had made certain choices. And those choices had changed them. They were two different people now. The love they'd shared was lost to them, a bitter-sweet memory, no longer vivid. No longer quite real. As if it had happened to two other people.
He turned those eyes on her again. She saw the pain in them, saw the loss. Saw her baby, who was his baby, too. The baby who had so quickly become a plump toddler, then a little boy in a new dress, heading off for his first day in kindergarten. Then, out of nowhere, a boy who could write his name in cursive, could add and subtract. Divide. Multiply. Could dive for a soccer ball, and capture it before it hit the netā¦
Her heart ached for himā¦. She felt the loss of his heartā¦. He had missed so much. And none of it would ever come again.
He said, in a voice that caught on a ragged breath, 'I'm here now, Geet. And I'm not just going to go away. We're going to have to work together now, at least when it comes to taking care of Daksh.'
'I understand that. I honestly do. Iā'
Maan made no reply to that, which was just as well, in Geet's opinion. He just stared to the darknessā¦
He said, 'We had something good once. And I admit it was my fault that we lost it. But, Geet, can't we try once again... to fix the situation, that went wrong between usā¦'
Conflicting emotions swirled inside her. Confusion. Rage. A strange and rather frightening giddiness.
'No!!!' She stabbed the air with her index finger. 'No Maan ā I said you very clearly, that, you are no longer counts in my lifeā¦ and in every means, I mean it Maan Singh Khuranaā¦. This is only about Dakshā¦'
Maan got the shock of his lifeā¦ He never knew, his Geet can be so fierceā¦ Still shocked at the intensity of her reaction, he stared at her as if in a dreamā¦
Geet immediately regretted her outburst. She could have dealt it in a better wayā¦. 'Oh god, what have I done. Now he is, surely going to be mad at herā¦' Her lips thinnedā¦.
Maan could clearly see that she regretted her little outburstā¦ When she looked at him, he had a curios smile on his lipsā¦ He shook his head and a mischievous light glinted in those sharp eyesā¦ and that, made her even more angryā¦ She glared right back at him, thinking how easy it would be to pick up a knife and hurl it at his heart.
He regarded her for an endless count of five... At last he said in a musing tone, 'Geeetā¦.You've developed a bad temperā¦ I don't remember you having a temper before. You were sweet and shy. And you cried a lot instead of getting mad.'
She pushed back her chair again and stood. She straightened her shoulders and inched her chin up a notch. It felt a lot better, looking down on him.
'Right. I used to be a wimp. But now I'm not that old Geet, to sit and cryā¦ I am all grown up. A mother of five year old sonā¦ I make my own decisions. And I have a life. Do you understand that? And, I don't want one fine day, someone come and run my life for me...'.
'Geetā¦ we were engaged... So, I am not someone, but your fiance'. Maan couldn't completely get, what happened to her suddenly... This outburst.. This is very much unlike her...
'We were... Maan. We are not. and 'You' are not my fiancee!, not in any, but a purely technical sense. Don't you remember, that night, you broke the engagement... you throw the ring on my face... don't you Mr. Khurana..' Her voice choked, tears running down her cheeks... as she stared blankly at night... she didn't try to hold back this time..
Maan froze for a heart beat... , obviously stunned beyond words... He knew, she is holding all the pain to herself from a long time... creating an ice barrier around her... no one to support... no one to share... and today he wanted to break it... he wanted her to cry, to outpour all her pain...
'Geeet'ā¦ He rose slowly, Pulling her close, he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding as if he'd never let goā¦ Geet made no effort to moveā¦ She was too weak, emotionally and physicallyā¦ The tears spilled over, trickled down her cheeks and he hugged her to him, hating he'd made her cry againā¦ He could feel his heart clenching in his chest at the sound of her heaving breaths, and his shirt was soaked with her tearsā¦.
'Shh...' He rocked her, smoothing her back, He kept soothing her cries, kissing her hair and cheek softly. He held her face in his hands as she tried to hide her tears. So he just held her and let her cry it all outā¦ a single lone tear welled up in Maan's eyesā¦ and trickled down his cheeksā¦ He couldn't lose her, she is the women he wanted to spend the rest of his life with... He want her to believe in them, in him, in their loveā¦. He will take it slowlyā¦.
'Shh, Geeet, It'll be okayā¦ I am here naaā¦ I will make it all okā¦ I promise you Geetā¦' but she started to cry even more. A harsh, sharp sob of hysteria escaped her lips as she clutched his shirt in her fists. For what felt like a lifetime, they clung to each other and didn't let go, their bodies meshing in the old familiar wayā¦ His grip was hard and warmā¦ The warmth of his arms, melting her heart, as she pressed herself into his embrace. They needed no more words. How he'd missed her. When her sobs petered out, he slowly disengaged, tipped her chin up, looked into her eyes.
Anupamaa
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