The frayed Picture- AR OS
Marry me.
I stood still not able to anatomize the words that fell on the dark room. His eyes leaking into mine stringing a deep message, one I wasn't able to comprehend with. As he repeated his words my heart raced into contemplation. The room filled with deadly silence as I just meekly and lifelessly stood still.
His deep blue eyes not taring from mine, there was something in them that even I could not understand. I tried to drive my eyes away from his but the content within it pulling me closer then I intended. I didn't speak, had nothing to declare. He didn't depict a flicker of loss as he stood his ground daring me in every way possible.
The array of blue that enfolded within his eyes hid a dark chamber that creaked within my presence, it kept me wondering, wanting to stare back. He smiled despite the silence that uttered my confession, my feelings. I had none.
I ask you not to love me but bare me a chance.
He seemed to read my muteness, understand me, but I didn't understand him, couldn't understand what he wanted me to say. I found that my words belonged in the silence that I kept near my heart and he seemed to effortlessly know that, he knew me very well. It scared me, he knew too much, could read too much. I tore my eyes away from his, afraid he will know the dark in me.
My eyes adjusted to the crystal clean window behind him that reflected my image, I found myself lost wondering who stared back, it wasn't me, it couldn't be me. She reflected my image but it was hard to see it as me; she appeared heartless, cold and pale. Maybe off the late this is who I was this little revelation hurt me more than I thought.
I felt his cold fingers grip to my chin directing my attention to him. In that unexpected revolutionary flash I shivered at his touch. This feeling was new, it awakened my lifeless body and shook my heart in boundless questions. His dark hair dishevelled and his smile torturous, he was gorgeous more so than I noticed.
I Love You.
His eyes once again trapped my sight, every ounce of my being forced itself to back away from the blue chambers of his eyes that gripped me and what I noticed startled every hair on my skin, it had a comfort to it much like his. It was purely love.
My eyes widened as lines embedded in my forehead scared of what I saw, what I didn't want to see. With fear crawling in my blood, I hurriedly and loutishly pushed his hand away and backed my shaking body from his afraid of losing my heart, again. He didn't flinch at my distress but rather appeared confused.
I turned, facing my back to him, putting my hand on the dark table I tried to balance the weight of my body that drained too much strength for me to bear at that weak moment. I closed my eyes and calmed my heavy breaths.
As my heart beats reformed his touch again made me shiver, surprising me at most ways, just the three words he whispered now made me quiver at his every touch? It hurt me knowing my heart is giving in, my eyes began to beam with water that I thought had dried up, he slowly and delicately held my waist turning me around, to face him.
Why are you afraid, Ridhimma?
He spoke before my lips uttered a whisper. My words hitched at my throat dissolving in his syllables. I didn't know myself. Didn't know why I punished myself when fate itself has brought me at the doorstep of someone else's love. Why was I afraid of falling for someone else other than him.
He is not coming back.
I tried to compose myself, my head and eyes lowered shying away from any form of affection. His words slapping me hard and staining my conscious with the bitter truth I had run away from. My emotions bubbling up in the heat of volcano that shaped in the form of my heart. I could feel the gush of frustration that hit me ready to burst.
Ridhimma, you can't live like this. He is dead ' You're not!
He somewhat added hastily, his words clinched and acrimonious. It made my blood cyst as my hand raised and placed a tight slap on his cheek. The sound echoed within the ungracious area, the dark of the night seemed to be blackened as my heart flustered at the notion of what I committed. He slowly turned his face towards me unaffected with the hurt I caused him. He stood still tall and proud. His eyes meeting mine into a cold stare.
I am sorry, I whispered.
I turned to the other way closing my trembling lips tight and closing my eyes shut in hope of the sorrow that masked in body to disappear. My thoughts speckled as I grabbed my coat and walked towards the long corridor that leads to the existing doors of his house. My heart heaving with overwhelming emotion, I fought the tears that tried to escape my eyes.
I didn't turn back, he reminded me off him too much. And somewhere deep down I was afraid of seeing him hurt and that by me, afraid I would stop involuntary with another glance of his. I was waiting for him to stop me, to plead yet I knew he wouldn't, he was too proud to do so and it seized my heart into pain for a reason that I couldn't wrap my head around as I was the one who rejected what is inevitable, my heart knew it very well but my conscious rebuffing every thought of it.
Walking along the corridor my senses subtle as I delineated all the contexts within the room as I knew these will be my last steps. As I walked, my stomach cooked with regret and grief of my actions. My steps began to slow not wanting to leave our memories, his memories or the support he ingrained within me to live.
As I was walking, my sight absorbed the memories within the crisp white walls, draining all the laughter's that whispered through the windows and then it caught my attention. My sight rested on the picture, the only picture that was on the table. It was a depiction of both of them; I neared it despite my heart yelling in denial to do so. Each pixel educing me towards it, it birthed a new sensation. I stared at it, both he and my love captured as it used to be, for a short while my lips smiled in the remembrance of Abhi.
Then my vision fell on his dark blue eyes, it had a strange sense of warmness that enlightened his features and calmed my heart. Unconsciously I stared at him and for the first time in a year, my memory was tolerant with only Armaan's. Like the waves that assemble in the shores of flowing sea, I felt free of my own conscious. A tear trembled out of my eyes as my fingers traced his image, and with a shredded piece of whom I had to let go, I left.
***
He tried to walk along the corridor; his steps glued to the tile, his heart wanting to stop her yet her words chained him back. "I am sorry" her words rang in his ears knowing with the simplest of words she rejected the future he dreamt for both of them.
Drinking away the seconds that bore torture for him, he decided to the turn on the music and to shake her memories away, to shake away the promise he gave to Abhi. "Care for her" he mocked the words that lead to this moment. He mocked the moment his heart fell for her.
He grabbed the brandy bottle in his hands, his lips breaking the thirst of his heart. The clouds seemed to rain outside, he laughed at the thunder which seemed as a whisper compared to the ache of his heart. He walked along the corridor, the house lonely. His lips never left the circle of the bottle. He knew he was drunk, his body told him so but he needed this, both the pain, loss of his best friend and her seemed to lessen with the alcoholic medicine.
He walked aimlessly towards the door, the corridor was hallow and silent. He was few inches away from the door, he needed to escape and when he could have, unexpectedly his eyes fell on a picture, he rubbed his eyes unable to get rid of the blur as he walked closer towards it.
The picture was ripped and he seemed to be missing, unusual He thought while his eyes travelled to the note left on its side. He grabbed the note with the slightest of interest. The words were blurry in his sight but clear on his heart. It hit like a volcano.
"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.- I didn't want him to die but he did, I didn't ask you to love me but You did and I didn't want to leave but I did' You didn't stop me and that hurt the most. I am sorry for all the pain I caused you. Goodbye Armaan."
His heart swelled with regret as his eyes fell on the frayed picture.
yes, yet another depressing one. what can I say, I am just a depressing person ahaha ;) Enjoy. It came a bit not the way I wanted it, it could have been better sowwy :) Thanks to the sweet people who always comment, love each of them and thanks to those who like aswell ;)
Indian Idol 15
