Part 39
NOTE : May offend some readers. If you don't like reading any physical intimacy between characters, PM me, so I can give you a summary of what's in the part.
Ridhima sighed as she looked around the library, her eyes scanning every person sitting at the tables. Finally her eyes landed on Sameer, sitting with his back towards the door, his hair unkempt, as he leant over to read something.
Ridhima grinned and walked towards him slowly, hoping to surprise him. She felt him jump as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked him on the cheek.
He quickly hid whatever he was reading and turned in his chair. Ridhima frowned at his hasty behavior, and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
"Kya hua?" She asked, looking at the bag suspiciously, where he had stuffed the book he was reading.
"Nothing, you just surprised me" Sameer said, not looking at her in the eye, and running a hand through his hair. Ridhima frowned but did not press the subject further.
She sat in the chair next to him, and passed him a warm smile. Sameer returned it, and leant forward to kiss her on the lips. Ridhima blushed and turned her head, so his lips landed on her cheek.
"Sameer! We are in the library" Ridhima blushed, as she looked down at the table, looking at him from her peripheral vision. She could feel her cheeks heating up.
She heard Sameer let out a sigh of frustration and said, "Ridhima, who cares?"
"I care, Sameer" She said, shaking her head at him. He could be such a kid sometimes, she thought. Sameer rolled his eyes and took out a medical book to look through.
"Everything alright?" Ridhima asked, hoping that he wasn't mad at her. Sameer shrugged his shoulders and continued to read. Giving up, Ridhima took out her own books to revise.
******
Ridhima ran towards her lecture, berating herself in her mind for sleeping in. As she turned another corner, she hoped that she won't get into too much trouble. However before she could take a few more steps, a hand darted out, grabbed her arm and hauled her inside. Losing her balance, and giving out a gasp, Ridhima stumbled into a hard body.
She looked up to give the person a piece of her mind, when she was met with the amused eyes of her boyfriend, Sameer.
"Sameer! What are you doing! I am running late!" Ridhima exclaimed, and went to open the door. It didn't escape her notice that he had pulled her into the men's bathroom.
But Sameer grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her into a cubicle, locking it behind him.
"C'mon Ridzi! I miss you baby!" Sameer said, backing her into the door of the cubicle.
Ridhima rolled her eyes at that, and said, "Sameer you saw me yesterday. Now let me go, I really need to see the lecture!"
"Take my notes. Trust me it's a boring lecture, so I am doing you a favour" Sameer said, as he pressed his body against her, dropping his head to nuzzle in her neck.
Ridhima squirmed and tried pushing him away, "Sameer. No. I need to go study" she said, and closed her eyes as he started nipping at her neck.
"C'mon Ridhima. Don't be a tease. I know you want it" He whispered, holding her by the waist.
Ridhima scrunched up her nose as the smell of the toilet started getting to her. Not now, not in this place. What was he thinking?
"Sameer, i should go before someone comes in" Ridhima pleaded, pushing against him weakly.
"Let them" He shrugged and moved to kiss her jaw.
Ridhima frowned at that. She could not risk anyone catching her in here. What would they say?! The amount of rumors that would spread around!
She pushed against him strongly. "Sameer, no." She said firmly, pushing her fists against his chest.
He gave out an exasperated sigh and backed away.
He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her with anger, making Ridhima frown.
"God Ridhima! You are my girlfriend! Everyone knows that, and you know boyfriend and girlfriend romance with each other! But you just keep acting like a..like a..." Sameer trailed off, and refused to look at Ridhima.
"Like a what?" Ridhima asked, quietly, tears forming in her eyes. Sameer shook his head and said,
"Nothing. Go before someone catches you.' And he moved to open the cubicle door.
A few tears slipped down her cheeks, as Ridhima slowly walked away from the bathroom.
********
Ridhima stared at herself in the mirror, fixing up her hair and looking at the dress she was wearing. The dress came to about her mid-thigh, already making her feel self-conscious. She never loved too much attention, especially attention fixated on her physical body, which is why she preferred to adorn herself in suits, jeans and sweatshirts, to hide her body as much as possible.
But she was wearing a dress for a date with Sameer. He had called up and apologized, and promised to take her out that night. So she had raided through her sister's closet to find something that fits, and unfortunately the only thing that fit her, felt pretty short to her.
She saw as Anjali looked at her from the bed she was lying on, her eyes hardening and a scowl settling upon her pretty features.
"Be back by 12" Anjali said, as she looked back at the book she was reading.
Ridhima nodded, and grabbed her bag when she saw the text from Sameer saying he was outside, waiting.
She hoped that it would be a good night.
********
Sameer had come on time and Ridhima had been nervous as she had made her way to his car, the heat resting on her cheeks and making her eyes dart around from being nervous. She wasn't sure whether Sameer would like what she wore or detest it, she wasn't sure if he was taking her somewhere fancy or somewhere casual. All she knew was that for once she wanted to dress up for the person who had made her smile after such a long time.
Looking up, Ridhima saw as his eyes took in what she was wearing, felt her heart falter as his eyes met hers and he casually smiled at her taking her hand in his. Bending down, he brushed his lips against her cheek and whispered, "you look so sexy"
Feeling slightly squeamish at the complement, Ridhima felt herself warming all over from his approval of her attire. Giving a small smile. Ridhima mouthed a thanks and slipped into the car as he went to the drivers side to take them on a date
********
"Ridhima you look so hot babe" Sameer said as he gave her a toothy grin and gave her another once-over. Ridhima frowned slightly. Not that she didn't appreciate what he was saying, but everything he said was based on her physical appearance, and it was making her uncomfortable that he was focussing on her slight cleavage or her legs every now and then.
Swallowing hard, she passed him another small smile and look straight ahead wishing to reach their destination quickly.
"I have something for you.." Sameer trailed off, and reached over to open the dashboard. Ridhima felt inside and found a small box. Taking it out, she looked at Sameer inquisitively, but he just grinned and refused to give anything away.
"Open it" He said, giving her a small wink. Ridhima bit her lip in excitement and opened the box. Inside it lay a simple pendant with a diamond on it, on a silver chain. It was so beautiful, that Ridhima let out a gasp of surprise.
"It's real" Sameer said proudly, as he looked at her. Ridhima looked at him in shock.
"But..it's so expensive!" She said, still in shock.
"It's nothing compared to you babe" He said, passing her another wink.
"Thank you" Ridhima said, tears forming in her eyes as she took the necklace and clasped it around her neck.
********
The dinner had been surprisingly pleasant. They had laughed and flirted around, Ridhima had left with a small smile on her face, and she couldn't have asked for a better date.
Once Sameer had reached her house, he switched off his car and looked at her expectantly.
"Well' Ridhima started as she looked at him with a grin on her face, 'That was amazing. Absolutely fantastic."
"Glad you enjoyed sweets" Sameer said as he flashed her his own grin, his eyes darting from her eyes to her chest, to her lips and back to her eyes. Not wanting to make her discomfort obvious, Ridhima dropped a chaste kiss on his lips and was about to say her goodbye, when he grabbed her hand.
Jumping slightly, Ridhima felt her heart skip a beat as he looked at her intently. "Ridhima" He hoarsely whispered, as his eyes continued to dart from her eyes to her lips. Glad that his eyes were no longer fixated on her chest, Ridhima smiled at him slightly, letting him lean into her.
Raising and tilting her head to the side, Ridhima allowed his lips to brush hers and take her lips in his. Sucking at the bottom lip, he tried to passionately kiss her.
Ridhima felt her head spinning. This was much too passionate, yet she wasn't sure if she wanted to stop. She enjoyed kissing him, but she had told him she wanted to take things slowly.
She felt his tongue graze her, and she hesitantly opened her lips, allowing him to turn the kiss deeper. She knew her limits. She knew she was going to stop it here.
Letting her hands slip from his neck to his shoulders, Ridhima braced herself to push him away. However he grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his. The other hand snaked around her waist and pulled her closer, crushing her chest to his in the process.
She could feel the alarm bells going off in her head at his forcefulness. Sure they had been dating for 3 months, but she still felt that this was going a bit too fast.
Mumbling her protest, Ridhima tried to push him away again, but he moaned and pulled her closer.
Breaking the kiss to allow her to breathe, Ridhima felt her heart racing as he kissed her neck and lower. Alarmed, Ridhima pushed him away once more, with more force.
Mumbling his protest, Sameer still latched on, refusing to let her go.
"Sameer, chodo" Ridhima said quietly, as she weakly tried prying his hands away from her waist.
However he still held her tight. As he slowly lowered his trail, Ridhima felt tears coming to her eyes as she felt him going faster than she wanted.
"Sameer. No. It's too fast" Ridhima said once more, as she pushed him once more.
"But I love you" He mumbled, his lips still trailing kisses up and down her jaw, his hands clutching at her waist.
Ridhima felt guilty. He had given her such a beautiful, expensive present. The least she could do was let him love her. But she felt so uncomfortable.
"Sameer-" Ridhima said hesitantly, a cold fear settling in her chest. Her hands had fisted up against his chest, not allowing him to come any closer.
"Babe. I got you that present because I love you so much. You love me na? Then trust me" Sameer said, and he went to kiss her on the lips again. Ridhima felt the guilt weighing her down. She accepted the kiss, but she was no longer enjoying it.
Suddenly her phone buzzed and Ridhima broke away, her head spinning and hazy from the kiss. Sameer groaned and moved back to allow Ridhima to get her phone.
Flipping it open, Ridhima saw her sister calling. Indicating Sameer to be quiet, Ridhima put the phone to her ear and said, "Hello?"
"Where are you? It's 12:15 Ridhima" Anjali's cold voice resounded over the phone. Ridhima cringed and replied, "be there in a minute Di"
"Quick" Came the curt reply, and Anjali hung up. Ridhima slowly removed the phone from her ear and looked at Sameer apologetically. But he wasn't looking at her, he was staring outside the window, the muscle in his cheek jumping about from agitation and frustration.
"I am sorry" Ridhima whispered, though deep down she was thankful her sister had called. She was really uncomfortable with how Sameer was hell-bent on going the next step physically.
"Go" Sameer said harshly, and Ridhima flinched. Feeling tears welling up in her eyes, Ridhima quickly opened the door and went from there before she could feel any worse about the situation.
She loved him. She truly did. Then why couldn't she give him what he wanted?
********
Ridhima walked into her bedroom, consciously pulling at her dress, and running a hand through her hair.
"What took you so long?" Anjali asked from her bed, glancing up from the medical book she was reading.
"We went for dinner. Lost track of time. Sorry, won't happen again" Ridhima mumbled. She really wanted to go have a shower and sort out her feelings. Love, guilt, revulsion were weighing down upon her, making her head spin in confusion.
She loved him. Didn't she?
Anjali didn't reply and continued to read her book, while Ridhima went to have a shower.
It was while Ridhima was in her bed, and had switched off her bedside lamp that she heard her sister whisper,
"I don't trust him, Ridz"
Ridhima did not reply, and pretended to have fallen asleep.
********
Ridhima had finished all her lectures for today and tiredly made her way towards the bus stop.
"Ridzi! Hey, Ridzi!"
Looking back, she saw Sameer running towards her, with his backpack in his hand and a wide grin on his face. Ridhima smiled back and slowed down to let him catch up to her.
"Wow! You look hot babe" Sameer said, giving her a wink. Ridhima blushed and looked down at that complement.
"Thanks" She mumbled as they made their way towards the bus stop. He waited till her bus had come, before he went to his car and drove home. Ridhima smiled. He had his bad moments, but he loved her.
********
Ridhima was sitting next to Sameer on the couch at his house. She sat bored as she saw women, half-naked, grinding on poles and suggestively looking at the camera. Grimacing she looked at their body which had a slightly too-skinny waist and slightly too big bust.
Sameer let out a low whistle as he looked at a girl grinding down on the TV.
"babe. I love you, but you would look so much hotter if you wore clothes like this. Or if you got a body like this" Sameer said absentmindedly as he stared awestruck at the screen. Ridhima stared at him in horror. The girl was parading around in a bikini. Ridhima felt self-conscious wearing a short dress, there was no way she could have worn a bikini!
How could Sameer say that?
Realizing what he had said, Sameer immediately looked at her and passed her a loving look. "I am kidding babe. You take everything seriously" Sameer chuckled and quickly changed the channel to something else. Ridhima didn't stay anything, his words playing on her mind.
"I am just going to go freshen up" Ridhima muttered and went to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, Ridhima grimaced as she took in her appearance.
'I could lose a few more kilos and become skinnier' Ridhima wondered as she stared at her body.
Unsatisfied with the way she looked, Ridhima made her way back to the living room, however before she could exit the bathroom, she saw a few magazine haphazardly thrown about on the floor near the shower.
'This boy. Never cleans up after himself' Ridhima chuckled to herself as she bent down to stack the magazines neatly on the counter top. But as she picked one up, Ridhima dropped it as though she had been burned.
The magazines had all sort of graphic images of women in the most provocative poses, and Ridhima felt sick as she stared at the magazine that was on the floor. Clutching a hand to her mouth, Ridhima tried calming her racing heart, however the disgust refused to stay down.
Bending down, she picked it up, and quickly flicked through it to find that the images got worst, and some of them had men involved in activities with the woman. Most of the positions were demeaning and looked painful for the woman.
Feeling utterly grossed out, Ridhima threw the magazine back, opened the door, made an excuse of having to rush home, and left from there before Sameer could question her further.
********
Ridhima had to convince herself heaps before she could look at Sameer in the eye. He loved her. What he did, didn't matter.
But it still hurt her that he chose those things when he had her.
But she never gave herself to him physically. Maybe that's why he took the aid of the magazines.
Ridhima let out a sigh of frustration as she rested her head against her palms. Why wasn't she enough? What was wrong with her?
********
Ridhima sat next to Sameer at the cafeteria, his arm thrown over her shoulder as he animatedly talked to his friends. Ridhima joined in every now and then, enjoying sitting in their company.
Halfway through finishing her lunch, she felt a small poke on her waist. Looking to the side, she saw Sameer staring at her with a heated look. Ridhima blushed at that, and quickly looked sideways to find his friends staring at Sameer with knowing smirks on their face. Ridhima blushed some more, feeling uncomfortable and looked back down at the food.
"Come with me" Sameer whispered in her ear, nipping it with his teeth. Ridhima gasped at that, and her eyes once again darted to Sameer's friend who were still staring at Sameer and Ridhima with knowing looks.
Looking at Sameer from the corner of her eye, she whispered back, "Sameer. I told you, not in public"
She saw as Sameer rolled his eyes and said, "yeah that's why I am saying let's go in private. C'mon baby. I miss you"
Ridhima frowned but nodded. She loved him. And he loved her. She almost felt obliged to go with him.
As she got up and started making her way out, she realised Sameer wasn't following her. Looking back she saw that he was whispering something to his friends, who laughed loudly once he was finished. Ridhima had a strange feeling that she was the topic of conversation and her suspicion deepened when most of his friends stared at her as they laughed.
Feeling like an outsider, she fixed her backpack as she waited for Sameer to join her.
********
Ridhima had her back pressed against the wall of an empty classroom as Sameer stood in front of her, nibbling on her neck. Ridhima could feel the herself getting more and more uncomfortable and worried as each second passed by.
"Sameer" Ridhima started, staring at the door praying and hoping no one would walk past, or inside.
Sameer grunted, but continued his trail lower and lower down her neck. Ridhima squirmed. Why didn't he ever listen to her. Why was it all about physical intimacy for him?
"Sameer I am not comfortable doing this here" Ridhima said, hoping he would understand and back off.
"Babe. I love you. You trust me, na?" Sameer said, looking up and gazing into her eyes. The guilt once again wrapped around Ridhima's stomach. He loved her. Why couldn't she give him what he wanted?
Ridhima nodded slowly, staring deep into his eyes.
"Will you do something for me?" Sameer whispered, pecking her on the cheek. Ridhima blushed and nodded.
Sameer took Ridhima's hand and placed it below his belt. Ridhima's eyes widened and she quickly removed her hand from there. Sameer took the hand again and placed it there, his breathing deepened. Ridhima glanced at the door in nervousness. What if someone walked in. She felt disgusted. She couldn't do this. Not here. Not in public.
"Sameer. No. Not here" Ridhima said firmly. Sameer moved his hips slightly, and let out a sigh. Ridhima flinched and removed her hand and held it against her body protectively.
Sameer groaned in frustration and backed away from her, belting up his pants in the process. He cursed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration while Ridhima looked at him wearily.
"Why don't you trust me, Ridhima? I love you! But it seems like you don't love me at all" Sameer spat at her, glaring at her. Ridhima's heart clenched in fear.
"No Sameer! I love you! I swear. I..I am sorry!" Ridhima pleaded, but Sameer waved her off and left the classroom, leaving Ridhima alone, standing against the wall, with tears in her eyes.
Ridhima quickly ran after him, and called out to him "Sameer, listen! Please!"
But Sameer continued to walk ahead, not responding.
'Why won't he listen?!' Ridhima thought, frustrated. The fear was chilling every bit of her body. She couldn't lose him! She didn't want to lose him!
"Sameer!" Ridhima said, as she grabbed his arm and turned him around.
"What?" He hissed, his face full of anger, making Ridhima step back a few steps.
Where was the Sameer she had met 4 months ago? Where was the carefree, sweet guy?
"I-I am s-sorry" Ridhima stammered, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion, but she was acutely aware that they were standing in a hallway, where people were walking and staring at Ridhima and Sameer curiously.
He rolled his eyes, turned around and kept walking.
"Sameer" Ridhima called out, as she ran towards him once more. He turned abruptly, causing Ridhima to collide into his chest.
"Ridhima, do you love me?" Sameer asked. Ridhima nodded, confused as to where this was heading.
"No" Sameer whispered, harshly. "You don't! Because if you did, then you wouldn't be acting like such a prude" Sameer spat out, and Ridhima stumbled back in shock. Even though he was whispering to her, it seemed like the voice was carrying over to the entire hall, as everyone had turned silent and were watching Ridhima and Sameer with interest.
Ridhima mutely stared at Sameer in shock, and his face displayed every bit of anger and hate for her. "You never let me touch you, you never do anything for me. You treat me like crap. Why the f**k am I going out with you?" Sameer shouted, and Ridhima flinched at his outburst.
She heard a giggle from behind, and she saw as Sameer briefly glanced up and a sick smirk spread across his face. Ridhima's insides had frozen up, a chill was passing up and down her spine, making her shudder in revulsion. She wanted to wrap her arms around herself to protect herself, but her arms refused to function. All she could do was stare at the unrecognizable man in front of her.
"Do you want to know where I went to satisfy myself?" Sameer asked as he raised an eyebrow. Ridhima took a few more steps away from him.
No. He wouldn't have.
"What? Thinking I wouldn't have done it? Ridhima baby, I wouldn't have if you had just put out a bit. All I asked you to do was trust me, and you didn't even give me your trust. Every time I tried coming close to you, you pushed me away. 'Sameer chodo na' 'Sameer no' 'Sameer not here'" Sameer mimicked Ridhima.
Ridhima's breaths quickened as she realised that the crowd was increasing, watching Ridhima's distress and humiliation. She refused to blink her eyes, for she was scared that the tears she was desperately trying to hold in would spill over.
"You know what Ridhima? You can go f**k yourself! I want nothing to do with a prude anyway! I was after you for sex. All my friends knew about it. I was going out with you to get in your pants; and so what if I didn't succeed? I've had enough. You aren't that pretty anyway" Sameer sneered, and Ridhima listened to all this in shock.
She hadn't realised she had been holding her breath throughout his speech, nor had she realised that she had fisted up her hands so hard, that the skin on her palms had broken due to her nails, and small crescent of blood formed on her hands.
Letting out a shuddering breath, Ridhima's eyes slowly travelled along the people who had crowded around them. Each of them was staring at her, some sympathetically, some with amusement, some with disgust. Sameer's friends were standing together, and each of them had a smirk on their face. Some were hiding their face on their friend's shoulder, their shoulders shaking with mirth. The tears stung Ridhima's eyes, and Ridhima had to tell herself over and over again to not let a single tear spill over.
Looking back at Sameer, she saw a completely different man. But he was still the same. She had been too blind. Too trusting. She had given her heart to someone too quickly, and they had broken her once again.
Taking another step back, Ridhima took in another deep breath, trying to ignore the clenching and unclenching of her throat, the burning sensation, the tightening in her stomach, the ringing in her ears. She wanted to run away from there. She never wanted to return.
She never wanted to trust anyone ever again.
So this part was completely on Ridhima's past. Her past with Sameer. It's just a snapshot but hopefully it gave you an idea on why she is so untrusting, why she jumps to conclusions so often, why she gets hurt so quickly. Hope you enjoyed it! Please, please, like/comment!
I really appreciate it! :)
~Sweety
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
272