Core of My Existence(AR Story)Nextthreadlink150 - Page 17

Hey guys ! So here is the next part,it didnt come out the way I wanted it to :( I had planned much more for it and it would have been a nit more longer !My brain wasnt in the right place today ! But this part is a start towards better times !

I hope you guys like it and enjoy reading.

Pleaseee LIKE and comment. 😃

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Its been a week now, since that night when we called back home. A lot has changed after that. Riddhima stays quiet all day, doesn't talk ,doesn't do anything but be in her room alone .Not only has she shut me out of her life ,she doesn't even let me do anything for her, unless its something she cannot manage ,she wants to stay in the shell she has made for herself. I feel lonely I know she does aswell, but it makes me wonder what bought this sudden change. Did she also think that I am responsible for her state ? I know she loves me and probably I am wrong in thinking like that , but what has bought this on us then. Had I done something wrong ?

Armaan was confused ,lost and he really wanted to talk to someone, he didn't understand what to do ,how to get her to talk and for the first time he couldn't read her eyes, or make out what her silence wanted to tell him. He decided to call Nikki , the only one who knew him ,understood him just as much as Riddhima did. She had been with him through the times he had been lonely and had no one to call his own.

He waited for her to pick the call " Helloo ? Armaan ? ," Nikki spoke into the phone worried because he never called at that time ,it was night back in India . "Armaan are you there ? " Armaan came out of his daze " Hey Niks ,how are you ? He spoke meekly " Am ok Armaan ,tum batao tum kaise ho, are you alright , you sound really low, " she was getting worried ,she knew Armaan wanted to talk ,probably vent out . Eversince he had gone to the U.S he would do that very often ,because he obviously couldn't do that with Riddhima "Armaan I know there is something that you have to say ,and I know you don't need me to tell you that am always there ," she said smiling, she knew he would be smiling too .Rightly Armaans face broke into a slight smile " I know Niks , you don't need to express that in words ,you've proved that already ,you have been with me even when you haven't been around ." Niki smiled " Hmm someones getting all philosophical ,acha ab batao kya hua ." Armaan sighed and said " I don't know Niks , she's gone into a shell ,she has shut me out ,doesn't talk , infact sab kuch khud karna chahti hai which I honestly respect her for ,but she is pressurizing herself ,I can see that .I can understand what she goes through ,she tells me everything .But this time she has distanced away ,iss had tak ki is bar mai uski khamoshi ko bhi nahi samajh pa raha ,I just don't know ' mai "

Nikki interrupted "Why suddenly ? kuch din pehle tak toh sab theek tha na phir ab kya hua ,did something happen Armaan ? " Armaan told her all that had happened, nothing new had though ,the only thing he thought could be responsible for this change in her was that conversation with Dr Shashank that night.

But Nikki understood what the matter could be " Armaan , jahan tak mai Riddhima ko jaanti hun she has always been a very independent girl , someone who has wanted to have all control on her life .She has been someone who has wanted life to go the way she planned ,had expectations from her life ,from the people around her. Itne mahino mai jo kuch hua ,it was unexpected ,its taken her away from her life ,from her dreams .Moreover for someone who has always found it hard to adjust to change ,this is a big one to deal with .She is just scared Armaan ."
"Scared of what Nikki ,mai humesha uske saath hun , aur rahunga ."

"That's it Armaan , that's her fear ,uski life mai agar ek cheez constant rahi hai ,its you ,you've always been there even if you both were not together ,she fears losing you. She probably even feels bad for putting you through trouble , aur itna kuch hone ke baad Dr Shashank ki who baatein ,she thinks you are going through all of it because of her .She probably feels like everytime something else will happen ,and she'll lose the only happiness she has in her life too ,and that's you! Thats also because Whenever you both thought you could be together something happened to change that . "

Armaan thought over what Nikki said ,and it did make sense " But Niks agar yahi baat hai toh why isn't she talking to me ,she can share her fears with me na,"She can Armaan ,but she feels she is being a trouble ,she doesn't want to trouble you anymore ,her belief in everything has gotten over ,neither does she believe she can be fine anymore ,nor does she believe that both of you can be together, aur shayad isliye who ..you know what I mean ." "I think you are right Nikki, lekin tum ,how do you know all of this ,did she tell you ? " Nikki laughed at his confused tone " No Armaan , its easy figuring out ,its just Riddhima ,when she talks to me indirectly she does vent out all of this to me ."

Armaan felt light after talking to Nikki " Toh ab mai kya karun Nikki , how do I make her feel better ." "Talk it out Armaan ,convince her that life can change for the better too and not just the worse."

"You think I haven't done that Nik, mai baat kar ke dekh chukka hun ,I have tried to get it all out of her but this time I just failed " Armaan sighed . "I understand Armaan,its going to be tough ,but that's it ,you'll just have to be after her ,and while you are doing that her belief in the fact that you are with her and will be ,will also get stronger, ..tum samajh rahe ho na ."

" Ofcourse I am Nik , infact I feel so much better talking to you ,I was so lost ! Mujhe lag raha tha ,that maybe I went wrong somewhere , now I understand her much better ...thanks Nik. "

Nikki screamt back in the phone, " Thanks WOW Armaan ,U.S jaake bade manners aa gaye huh ? Shut up idiot don't say that word to me ever again .We are friends and we ought to be there for each other...its all my pleasure ! Ab ja go to Riddhima go try talking to her and listen .. jab bhi zaroorat pade call me ok ." Armaan giggled ,feeling so much better then before , he thanked the almighty for bringing such a great friend in his life " I lovee you Niks ,I would have always been the silly ,lost and idiotic guy without you ," Armaan said laughing . Nikki was happy that Armaan seemed happier " Haww ye kya keh raha hai ,Riddhima ko bataun ? " Nikki replied melo-dramatically " I love you too idiot , and always will ,ab ja teri basket ke pass."They both spoke for a while and hanged up .

Armaans felt light headed and even though he knew his Basket better then anyone ,this conversation with Nikki had made him realize things from her point of view ,all the confusions seemed to get clearer .He knew what he had to do , not just simply talk to Riddhima but also make sure his words convinced her of the truth they had in it . He had to get her out of the shell by not only reducing the guilt off her mind but also trying to distract her by giving her an aim to look forward to.

Armaan was lost in his thoughts when he heard something fall in Riddhima's room he panicked and rushed in .He opened the door to see the glass on the bedside broken and Riddhima's hand bleeding . He ran to her "Riddhima ,sweetheart ye kya hua ,how did you hurt yourself ," Armaan's breath was stuck in his throat for a minute, he had thought of the worst , but he winced looking at her hand bleed "He held her hand and blowed air on it " Bahut dard ho raha hai ? " without even waiting for her reply he rushed to get the first aid kit.

He sat down next to her ,and started wiping her blood and kept blowing cool air on it " Bas sweetheart sab theek ho jayega don't worry ,I'll apply a medicine and bandage it now ,thank God kam se kam the glass just cut past it " Armaan kept wiping the blood ,Riddhima looked up at him all worried , mumbling God only knows what to himself .She couldn't help a smile come to her face ,she took her hand to his cheek and was about to caress it when he spoke up and she quicky moved her hand back " Riddhima ye kaise hua ,agar tumhe kuch chahiye tha ,toh you should have just called me .Why do you do this to yourself , I know you want to do it on your own ,but not at the cost of getting hurt basket ,agar aur zor se lag jaati toh."

Riddhima suddenly removed her hand from his hold ,distanced herself and said " Toh lag jaati Armaan ,how much of a difference does it make ,isn't it bad enough that I cant walk for life ,then a cut on the hand isn't a big deal ,aur waise bhi tum kab tak ye sab kuch karoge ,this all is going to go on for life "

Armaan had heard enough , he didn't like it when she spoke so low about herself ,he wanted her to have the will to fight the odds and the confidence in herself that she would be all right .He couldn't hold it back any longer,he spoke in a very stern tone " Enough Riddhima ! I wont take anyone talking so lowly about My Basket 'not even you . For Gods sake tum ek doctor ho Riddhima , you should know better then anyone else ,that everything can be treated today .Moreover will you also suggest your patients to give up like that ,tell them to lose hope and not make any effort to get themselves cured .Tum itni jaldi kaise haar maan sakti ho."

Riddhima interrupted him "Kehna bahut aasan hota hai ki sab theek ho jayega but its not really that easy this side Armaan , when I have to depend for the smallest things on you ,I hate it Armaan ,and to think of it ,tum ye sab kab tak karoge .Our whole life is going to go on with you running behind me ,taking care of me, doing even the smallest of work for me that I may never be able to manage myself .Life isn't meant to be like that and not for you atleast ,after all that we have gone through or rather you have gone through ,this is not what I want our relation and our life together to offer you ."

Armaan could understand her plight anyone in her place would have felt the same but he had to make her realize that love for him wasnt about only being happy through it ,he would be with her in every walk of life "Riddhima love isn't JUST about dancing around trees ,being happy and romancing at every chance you get,Love is a feeling that goes above everything in this world .Love isn't about what I did for you ,what I gave you and what you can do to pay me back .Mujhe nahi pata tha that love is about give and take.Tum aisa sochti ho Riddhima ? Is that all you trust my love ,rather our love ."

"Nahi Armaan its not like that ofcourse I trust our love ,and I know its strong enough to last the test of time, but you deserve way better Armaan ,meri tumhari zindagi mai aane se pehle tum itne khush the ,aur ab dekho ,from the past few years try and remind me of the one time in your life jab tum khush rahe .I've always been a trouble and now I literally am .. "

Armaan was shocked listening to Riddhima ,he didn't know she had thought upto this extent " WOW Riddhima ,itna sab soch liya ,and socha bhi toh sab galat .Tumhe lagta hai ki tumse milne se pehle mai khush tha ." He didn't know whether to laugh or cry on what she had said "Ofcourse not Riddhima ,before you came into my life,I had NO ONE to live for ,thus even my life had no aim, I had no one to love me I had no one whom I could shower my love on .My life was empty .It was that time in my life jab mere hone ya na hone se kissi ko koi farak nahi padta tha .I am what I am only because of you Riddhima .I have understood the true meaning of love only after loving you ,heck I learnt how to express it also because you came into my life .Aur tum keh rahi ho that my life changed for the worst .

"Armaan Mallik aaj jo bhi hai its because of Riddhima Gupta .Tum sirf kehne ke liye hi meri zindagi nahi ho, you are the reason I live , the reason I WANT to live." Riddhima was dumbstruck listening to all that he had to say .He loved her so much, not that she had any doubt about that but hearing how much he valued her presence in his life made her feel special, made her feel needed .

But she couldn't help keep thinking about how his life with her would tie him down ,not let the horizons of his life broaden and moreover she would be a reason of embarrassment to him wherever they went .He was such a fun loving person ,adventurous ,so outgoing and being with her would put so many constraints on him ."Armaan ye sab itna aasan nahi hai , its not as easy as you make it seem .I don't want you to do this with your life .Its not about being dependent on you Armaan ,itna haq toh hum dono ka hai ek doosre par .But probably Gods telling us something by all of this Armaan, shayad humara har baar ek hokar ,paas aakar phir alag hona ,is all his way of telling us that it isn't meant to be. And anyways Armaan me being with you is always going to cause you despair ," she had started to cry ,tears flowing out she continued " Armaan you've never complained ,lekin sach toh yahi hai that I have let us down so many times ,by not trusting your love enough ,by not giving you the love you deserved .Hum aaj tak jitni bhi baar alag hue its been because of me ,because I gave up at the sight of every trouble .Aur aaj when we understand each other ,want to be together and have reach so far toh ye sab ! Armaan you deserve to be happy ,life isn't going to be easy with me ..mai tumhe " She couldn't say anything more and just cried .

Armaan was dazed , how much did she love him ,in all of what she had said she had just spoken about him ,about how he wouldn't be happy ,about how he would have to sacrifice .His heart welled up with love for her ,he was touched that even his eyes got teary .He caressed her back to stop her from crying ,she took his hand and kissed it letting her tears flow . Armaan spoke up " Toh kya tum iss wajah se mujhse baat nahi kar rahi , you haven't been talking to me, stay here all day long.. all alone ,you don't eat ,you don't let me be with you , hmm ? " She spoke up between her tears " Nahi Armaan its just that ,I don't want to get used to being with you and neither do I want you to be,because there isn't any future to this .

"Riddhima ye tum kya kahe ja rahi ho ,listen to me ," Riddhima spoke " Nahi Armaan tum samajh nahi rahee ," Armaan held her tightly and made her face him " Nahi Riddhima tum suno , you are getting it all wrong , there are always some problems in a relation , and its not only one person who is responsible for it. Riddhima why don't you see it this way ,hum itni baar alag hue ,but we got back together again everytime ,probably God always wanted to tell us how we ARE meant to be hm ? Aur ye 'you deserve better' kya laga rakha hai .I don't deserve better because I already have the best ." Armaan nudged her shoulder making her smile a little ,"You just said that you didn't give us a chance and gave up at the sight of any trouble . I agree that was your weakness, but we both made our love our strength and fought all odds ,toh phir aaj hum alag hone ki kyun soche ? What has changed Basket ,we are together ,we love each other ,what more do we need. Aaj jab sab theek hai then why are you talking about us getting apart .If trouble bought us apart ,times of despair have got us together and made us stronger Basket. You are making this situation that's come across the both of us our weakness but I want you to make it our strength . Mere liya aaj bhi kuch nahi badla basket ,everything is the same ,I fell in love with you, your heart ,aur who dil toh itna bada hai ,its got so much love for me ." Armaan spoke smiling but teary eyed ."

"Aur agar ye sab un cheezo ke liye hai jo mai tumhare liye karta hun , toh why is that such a big deal. Mujhme aur tumhe kya farak hai ,for me we both have always been one ,then how does it make a difference ! Tum batao kya mujhme aur tumhe kuch farak hai? God forbid par agar mere saath aisa kuch hota toh kya tum mujhe chod ke chali jaati . Common Basket trust our love and trust my belief this much atleast . "

Riddhima looked at his eyes full of love ,with so much trust and so much faith in what he was saying ,"I trust you and your love more than anything Armaan ,I've just lost belief in my own life .Armaan meri wajah se tumhe koi bhi problem ho mujhe ye acha nahi lagta ,it makes me feel rotten. You are a gem ,you love me so much ,gave up on everything just for me ,but even after all you do ,Papa always undermines you love .You have to struggle to make people believe in it .You have to change from being what you are to what they want you to be. Its not worth it Armaan .Tumhe mere liye khud ko badalna pade ,itna kuch sacrifice karna pade.. kyun Armaan ? Its not about today its going to go on for a lifetime. You will have to give up on so much for me , my physical imparity will cost you so much , you life will change .." Armaan interrupted her by keeping his palm on her lips " Life wont be life without you ,tumhare bina iss zindagi kya karunga ,all this is nothing in front of you Riddhima .Tum meri life mai ho is ke liye mai kuch bhi karne ko tayyar ho ,its always worth it .You accept me thats all I want ,mujhe kissi aur ko kuch sabit karne ki zaroorat nahi hai .And nothing is going to cost me anything Riddhima , only if you are with me .If you go away then 'that' will cost me my life."

"Par kyun Armaan why do you need to do .." Armaan held her tighter and asked " Why did you have to take the bullet for me Riddhima ,why did you have to come in the way and save my life ,why did you have to take that pain ,that which costed you so much ? " Riddhima looked up dumb founded , she didn't know what to answer to him.

"Bolo Riddhima ,jawab do ,why did you take the bullet ,and why do you think I never questioned you for it ,' because that's love Basket ,aur jab hum kissi se pyar karte hai toh all the When ,what and why's don't matter ,only love does hmm?"

He looked at her for a reaction ,she looked up at him with eyes just flowing down his eyes and fell on him hugging him tight ,sobbing and crying out all that she had kept to herself .He hugged her back hiding his face in her hair ,caressing them. "Ssssh sweetheart bas,why are you crying ? ," Riddhima was hiccupping between her sobs ,Armaan tried to get out of her hug to get water for her,but she held him tighter . Armaan smiled and said " Basket bas ek minute, let me get you some water ," Riddhima just clutched him harder "Mujhe kuch nahi chahiye ,I just want you to be here " she said crying,sniffing and rubbing her nose on his shirt ,"

Armaan laughed at her kiddish behavious and held her face in his hands very near himself and wiped of her tears with the back of his hands .She moved his hands away and hugged him again hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder crying again .

Armaan just pulled her on his lap and let her hug him ," Kya ho gaya basket ,hmm bas ab kyun ro rahi ho ,its ok ,everythings fine hmm ? " Riddhima spoke up meekly.

" Armaan ? you'll be there na ? Please mujhe chod ke mat jaana ,I am sorry maine tumhe ye sab kaha ,Sorryy ki maine itne din itna ajeeb behave kiya ,mai darr gayi thi ,I am Sorryy .. " Armaan just pulled her up and kissed her lips softly ,then kissed her forehead " Bas,bas! there is no reason to say Sorry ,itna haq toh hai tumhe basket ."

Riddhima looked up at him and said softly " I lovee you Armaan and I promise mai tumhe kabhi akela nahi chodungi whatever may happen ," She held his face in her palms and showered kisses on his face too .He smiled and took her into a tight hug " Mai bhi basket ,come what may ,mai humesha tumhare saath rahunga , iss darr ko apne dil se nikaal do Basket ,no one can separate us. Aur haan mujshe lado ,maro ,kuch bhi karoo par please don't stop talking to me ,let me be with you Basket ,apne liye nahi toh mere liye ?" Riddima nodded against his shoulder and hugged him tighter.

They sat in each others embrace for a long time in silence ,in bliss. After a while Armaan broke the silence and moved apart.He looked into her eyes and said " Basket ,mujhe tumhe ek aur baat kehne hai .." Riddhima looked up and nodded sniffing, Armaan wiped her tears from his thumb ,caressing her face .

"Riddhima , do one more favour for me , please mujh par yakeen karo ,tum bahut jald theek ho sakti ho ...agar tum himmat rakho toh .Tum khud ek Doctor ho ,you advise all your patients to be stronger and keep their hope alive.Toh phir khud kyun himmat haar rahi ho .Abhi you have a long life ahead ,tumhe jaldi theek hona hai ,you have to become the best Doctor , achieve all your other dreams , Please Basket itni jaldi haar mat mano ,aur tumhe kis baat ka darr hai ,mai hoon na tumhare paas ,besides you, with you ,forever."

He looked into her eyes smiling without a peck of doubt ,Riddhima looked back at him looking into his eyes! She saw an ocean of love , his belief in her ,his belief that they both could be together and make life beautiful .She couldn't let him down this time ,she had to trust him ,and fight this with him .If they were both together they could make it ,and she could see the same reflecting in his eyes. She would do this for him , more than for herself.

Riddhima looked up at him and nodded ," Haan Armaan ,I will fight ,for you ,for the both of us .And we'll make it .I promise you Armaan ,iss bar mai tumhare yakeen ko haarne nahi dungi," She smiled wide through her tears and Armaans smiled back content ,his heart bursting with happiness at the confidence in her eyes.

He pulled her into a rib crashing hug, cuddling her to himself .she kept her head on his chest ,kissing him there and he kissed her back on her forehead. He could see that she was exhausted with all the crying ,the turmoil she had gone through ,he patted her head ,leaving soft kisses on her head ,till she drifted off to sleep .

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Ho chaandni jab tak raat deta hai har koi saath

Tum magar andheron mein na chhodna mera haath

Ho chaandni jab tak raat deta hai har koi saath

Tum magar andheron mein na chhodna mera haath

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Wafadaari ki vo rasmein nibhayenge hum tum kasmein

Ek bhi saans zindagi ki jab tak ho apne bas mein

Wafadaari ki vo rasmein nibhayenge hum tum kasmein

Ek bhi saans zindagi ki jab tak ho apne bas mein

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Dil ko mere hua yakeen hum pehle bhi mile kahin

Silsila ye sadiyon ka koi aaj ki baat nahin

Dil ko mere hua yakeen hum pehle bhi mile kahin

Silsila ye sadiyon ka koi aaj ki baat nahin

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye jab koi mushkil pad jaaye

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz

Na koi hai na koi tha zindage mein tumhaare siva

Tum dena saath mera o humnawaaz