Yup its true, this is not an illusion...an UPDATE š²š²š² ...i know its taking forever...but i've been on vacation and now i'm at work...which means more time to be bored š and that means more time to write...plus my muse disappeared for a long time...i just couldnt figure out where to take this story...since it seems as though i forgot who sid and ridz were in my mind...but i made the mistake of looking at old clips and felt inspiration stir...so here we are...you all prolly have givin up on this story since its covered in cobwebs...but i figured i'd post and let the few that do want to read it read it...i'm gonna try to be more regular with updates...but i've said that plenty of times before so we shall see...lol...anyways...
Part 28
Avni was watching Siddhant play the last half of his soccer game. It had been a long time since she had sat through one of Siddhant's activities alone. It seemed that in the past few months the Modis had some how integrated with their family. There was never an event that went uncelebrated and their certainly wasn't a moment in Siddhant's life that went unnoticed. As she cuddled Mahi closer she couldn't help but laugh at how touched her little girl's life had also become. It seemed whenever Mahi left the Modi's house she always had a bow headband stuck on her head that matched her clothes. She knew it wasn't Sid that was behind. But Shilpa and Sue never let the girl out of their sight without making sure she had cute bow on her head. Avni bent down and placed a kiss on the top of her wide eyed daughter. It was at moments like these when Avni couldn't keep her mind from wondering towards 'what could've or should've been'. Her mind wandered to the days when she had first found out she was pregnant how she couldn't wait to tell Siddhant's father about his existence. How at the same time she was scared for she knew that in that moment their lives would change forever. She couldn't help but smile at that memory. She glanced at the game clock and saw that there was still another 15 minutes left in the game and with the way the kids played it would have taken at least twice as long before the game ended. She decided she'd multitask and check in with her Mom, when she started to reminisce the only cure was to have a heart to heart with her mom. Avni picked up her phone and sat back in her lawn chair as her mom picked up on the other side.
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Sue didn't wait this time, she had things she was holding on to for years and now she wasn't going to hold back. Not even for her bro. "You are a heartless, undeserving person. You let the best thing that ever happened to you go. And maybe, maybe if you had realized your mistake within a few weeks I might understand. But it has taken years and still you cant even admit you were wrong. You show up unannounced with stupid tears in your eyes no words in your mouth and you expect everything to be okay? Well here's a wake up call. No one cares! Your tears mean jack shit to me and you know what frankly I don't even believe them anymore." Sue only paused long enough to refill her breath before she continued her tirade. "I used to make excuses for you. Tried to understand why you were so hesitant why you would take so long to understand what a great person you had in your life. I tried to justify to myself that in time you would see what was so abundantly clear to the rest of us. And the only reason it was taking so long was because you had been hurt before. That you had lost the one person you thought you would love forever. But you know what, that's just plain ridiculous. Just because we lose someone we love doesn't me the world comes to an end, it certainly doesn't mean we stop living. And if you don't believe that, then my brother is living proof. He lost the one woman he had ever loved, the one woman he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with because she kept telling him so. And in the end she left him. Over and over." Sue paused waiting to for the person in front of her to finally make eye contact so that the words she uttered next would make full impact. "You broke my brother's heart. Not once but multiple times. You strung him along pretending that he was the one you wanted. That your marriage was real that your past meant nothing. But alas in the end you simply left him as if he were nothing. To go back to him. For real? You think he could ever be better than my brother. And even if that was the case, then why in the HELL did you refuse him all those times Sid kept pushing you two together?!?!?"
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Riddhima couldn't do anything but give a quick glance up at the person standing in front of her. She knew that she was supposed to come up with these magical words that would fix everything. But she couldn't. She couldn't fix what had been destroyed. And as she stood in front of the woman she had once accepted as her younger sister and saw the hatred and disgust in her face she knew that there was nothing she could say or do. All she could do was stand there and take whatever was thrown at her. And although the words hurt, she couldn't scream out in denial for the words being thrown at her although filled with misunderstandings had enough truth to them. Words of explanation weighed heavy in her heart, but this woman had held her tongue for so long. Riddhima knew from experience that when those words kept deep in your heart for long where finally let free there was no stopping them. Regardless of the pain it caused the person they were said to or the one saying them. They would only come to an end when all had been said.
It seemed as though Sue was coming to the end of her tirade. Riddhima looked up into her eyes wanting to take one last glance at her. And then Sue fired the last missile. Riddhima felt the impact immediately. She felt her heart explode and she felt the tears she had tried so hard to hold back start to shed. There really was no way to put it into words the kind of all consuming pain she was feeling inside herself and the hatred vibes being sent towards her from the woman standing in front of her.
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Avni heard the beeping of call waiting while she was talking to her mother, but the memories were flowing too close to the surface. She was enjoying the talk down memory lane so she ignored it and let the other call leave a voicemail. As she continued to chat with her mother while Siddhant played soccer across the way she felt a tug in her heart. She couldn't help but voice her thoughts to her mother. "Sometimes I wish so badly that he was here. I can't believe how much Sid has grown. I remembered you telling me that you used to be afraid of blinking because you could swear that in those few milliseconds your eyes closed I'd grow 10 inches. It's how I feel about my boy. I swear it seems like just yesterday he used to fit in my arms like Mahi. And now it takes my arms and legs to just wrestle him into his daily bath." Avni's mom simply laughed at the apt picture her daughter painted of her grandson. "He is a choota badmaash isn't he? I swear that's how Raj used to be too." Avni let out a sigh, "I know at times it's like Raj is right in front of me, simply by the antics of Sid." Avni's mom sensed something else int he words her daughter wasn't saying, "Butā¦?" Avni simply smirked as she said, "Busted. Now a days it seems as though it's not just Raj I'm seeing. I will glance and see parts of Sid. It's weird in such short time he has started to walk like Sid, make faces like Sid, and most of all his charm has gotten worse since hanging out with Sid." Avni's mom smiled upon hearing the words coming from her daughter's mouth, "Is that such a bad thing? Sid is a very good man. And Siddhant needs a father figure." Avni knew where this conversation was going and did not want to try and explain to her mom that yet again that her and Sid were just friends. So she told her mom, "Sorry mom I have to go, Siddhant's game ended and they won. You know what that means." She hung up letting go a sigh of relief at escaping that minefield.
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Sue ended in resignation with, "Let him go. He's moved on. He's finally happy let him live his life. And you go live yours with the man you chose." As Sue stood huffing in and out after the final words she had held in for so long finally came out. She expected to feel relief, she expected at least some vindication. But all she was feeling was exhaustion. Exhuastaion at the need to say such mean and hurtful things to a woman she had once seen as the older sister she never had but had always wanted. But if she was honest with herself then she would have to admit that she had wanted to say these words to Riddhima years ago when she had first seen Sid show up in Texas with that dead look in his eyes. But she couldn't because Sid had asked her not to say anything. And at the time she didn't have the heart to go against anything he requested. Especially since he barely had said anything for the first few months. When she looked at the woman standing in front of her all she felt was pity and sadness. Pity obviously because she had let the best man in the world go, and sadness for the pain it was causing everyone that had known them. She hoped that today would be the last day she ever had to see her face. That this would be the final encounter. And she prayed to God that Sid would never find out about this altercation and that he would never know that this woman had returned.
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Riddhima wiped at the tears that had been silently falling from her face, she took a bracing breath and began, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. There are not enough words for me to explain how sorry I am. Not just for causing you pain today, but for what happened in the past." Sue just scoffed. "I know haven't given you any reason to believe a word I say. And that the words you just spoke to me are the truth. If you think you are the only one that has spoken them to me then you are wrong. Those words repeat in my head every day." She could tell Sue wasn't believing a word she was speaking, but she needed to say this it had waited long enough. "I have always known Siddhant was a good man. My heart knew that long before I did. You're right the world doesn't stop when we lose someone. I had to learn that the hard way...the first time." Sue looked up and couldn't stop herself, "Oh please! Sell that BS to someone else. You practically got my brother thrown in to jail over and over. And then when he married you, you couldn't even give him the respect of a wife! And what do you mean you had to learn the world doesn't stop. It did for you didn't it? For a year an then the reason for you to live came back. And now alls well in your world isn't it with you prince freaking charming." Sue practically spewed disgust with the last few words she spoke. Riddhima knew this would be bad, but she wasn't quite prepared for what actually came to the surface. "I assure you that it was never my intention to come back into your or...Siddhant's...life. I came to talk to someone else and somehow ended up here. Maybe it was fate maybe it was circumstance, but I never meant for it to happen." Sue just let out a disgusted sigh and retorted with, "Oh now that I believe. You wouldn't be back for Sid he doesn't mean anything to you, and now that you have your own he-man to take care of you you wouldn't need my brother. And besides you're too much of a coward to actually come to apologize. Besides you don't care about anything but your past with that man."
Each word Sue spoke was like a dagger stabbing into Ridz's already broken heart. She wished she could just tell Sue that everything she had just told her was wrong. That it was lie that Sue had no idea what she was talking about. But she couldn't. So she said the only thing she could with a gentle scoff of resignation she finally looked unflinchingly into Sue's eye as she spoke, "The past. The past is a funny thing. Sometimes it's us who can't let the past go...and sometimes...its the past that doesn't let us go." Sue couldn't think of anything to say back to this woman. Whether it was because she felt as though it was as purposeful as talking to a wall or whether it was because there was something flickering in her eyes. She narrowed her eyes trying to figure out if she was just imagining it or if it was really there. But before she could come a conclusion Riddhima continued, "I don't know what or how much Siddhant has told you. But there are two sides to every story. And sometimes what we had accepted as the truth for so long becomes simply a piece of the puzzle that we are forced to reevaluate when we hear the other side. And when the whole picture is seen you might rethink what you had always thought was the truth." She then turns and walks back to her car. Never once looking back. Leaving a pondering Sue behind.
arps
