'Qayenaat' a MaYur FF - Completed

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#611

Originally posted by: kirti123
u have written it very nicely
but dont no why i m waiting for our nupur to return
akhir pehla pyaar hai
i m a bit confused
cause mayank loved nupur iternally unconditionaly then how will he accept new nupur
i feel sorry for new nupur also whats her fault
anyways considering it a ff its really interesting eager to know what happens next
thanks for the pm 😊

Kirti...bohat dino k baad get to see your comments 😊 I am glad to see that at least someone sympathises with Nupur...uss bechari ki taqleef koi nahi dekh raha 😭

Please keep reading and commenting.

Love
Neela

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#612

Originally posted by: -shabnoor-
Hey Neela di,

Sach kahe toh hume yeh update kafi aachi lagi 😊 ....jaante hain ismein koi twist nahi na kuch zyada lekin yeh update padke hume sukoon mila !

One word that comes to my mind is "Hopeful".....mayank zarur dukhi tha lekin uss dard mein bhi sukoon tha ! pata nahi hamere alfaz sahi bayan karrahe hai ya nahi lekin hume toh yeh update mild subtle lagi....which was needed after the some dardnak previous chapters......

Actually aaj alfaz nahi milrahe apne feelings bayan karne ko......some things are better left unsaid !😊

take care,
fatima

ab aapko kya kahe ji...Mayank ki dukh me na jaane kaise aapko sukoon dikh gaya issi baat ki hairatgi hai. kahan rehte hai aap? aaj kaal aisa lagta hai aap khud hi kahani ki ek kirdaar bann gayi hai 😊 Mayank se...Nupur se ..Shilpa se bhi aap ka koi rishta lagta hai.

aur baaqi rahi alfaz ki kami hona...aap per hai ji. ankahee baaton ko ankahee rehne dijiye 😉

-Neela

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samira

@-Samira-

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#613

neela i'm so sorry dear i didn't comment d prev part both parts were amazing loved it neela thanks 4 d pm

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#614

Originally posted by: samiralovemayur
neela i'm so sorry dear i didn't comment d prev part both parts were amazing loved it neela thanks 4 d pm

koi baat nahi Samira. ab to comment kar diya na 😊 Thanx for your lovely comment.

-Neela

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shafia Akhtar

@IISHAFS

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#615

wowow neela your all 24 parts are awesomee it different i hope soon mayank love nupur rana

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#616

Originally posted by: Shafoo
wowow neela your all 24 parts are awesomee it different i hope soon mayank love nupur rana

aha...welcome Shafoo. So you started reading...and that too all 24 parts in one go!! 👏 Great! I am glad you liked it though. Thanks for your comments and hopefully you will continue to read moving forward.

-Neela

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#617

~~~~~~~Part 25: Rays of Hope~~~~~~~~

Mayank enters the room very quietly. The lights are off other than the bedside lamp as Nupur is reading something. She notices Mayank entering the room, gives him a quick glance and goes back to her reading. Mayank goes near the dressing table, takes his watch off, his wallet out but at the same time he cannot help looking at Nupur through the mirror of the dresser. He is trying to gauge if she is upset or not and feels guilty. In the morning, she justified the reason for him so that he can avoid attending the party. At least he could have come a little early to avoid her from facing questions that the guests must have raised seeing the newly groom missing on the day after the wedding ceremony. He also starts thinking about his mum as well…God knows what excuse she would have had to make to explain his absence. Seeing Nupur not saying anything and concentrating on her reading, Mayank hesitantly asks..

M: mehmaan chale gaye sab?
N: (without taking her eyes off the book) jee nahi…kuch log hai abhi tak jo aap ka intezar kar rahe hai
M: jee?
N: (closes the book) zahir si baat hai…itne dair tak mehmaan rukne wale to nahi na. chale gaye hai sab
M: I am sorry…main waqt pe nahi pohunch paaya. woh main university me kisi kaam pe phans gaya tha to…
N: (smiles) aap ko to thik se jhoot bhi nahi bolna aata
M: (Mayank avoids looking at Nupur)
N: hum jaante hai aap university nahi gaye the. aap ko lautne per bohat dair ho rahi thee to maa ko fikar hone lagi. woh khud aapki dost ko phone karnewale the. per aakhir me humnain hi baat karli. aap ka friend Samrat bata raha tha ussne poora din aapko campus me nahi dekha.
M: hmm..actually main…
N: aapko koi jawab nahi dena parega. humnain vaada kiya hai aapse k aap ke zindagi me na kabhi dakhal andaazi karenge aur na hi apne haq ka jaayez ya na-jaayez istemal karenge. yeh baat yehi khatam kar dete hai. thik hai na? (smiles at him)
M: jee behter

…and he goes to the bathroom, takes a shower and comes out in his white kurta and pajama…ready for bed. But when he comes out of the bathroom, he finds food on the table as Nupur is setting it up for him.

N: (without looking at him) raat bohat ho chuki hai. khaana khaa lijiye.
M: mujhe bhookh nahi hai
N: bhookh nahi hai? sacchi?
M: kyun? koi shakk hai ?
N: nahi..bas confirm kar rahi thee. subhe jab kapron ko haath lagaya to wapas uthake rakh diya. socha k shayed khaane pe haath lagaya hai humnain to kahi bhookh hote hue bhi aap keh rahe hain ke bhookh nahi
M: aap ki jo marzi aap soch sakti hai. per mujhe khaana nahi khaana. please yeh sab yahan se ley jayye. aur aap ka mere liye yeh sab karnne ki koi zaroorat nahi. agar aap waqai me mere liye kuch karna chahti hai to meri maa ka khayal rakhiye. aap yahan maa ki bahu bannke aayi hai aur woh aapko beti ki tarha chahti hai…mujhe khushi hogi ke aap agar unnke taraf apni saath saath meri bhi zimmadariyan shiddath se nibhaye. main apne maa k liye shayed ab kabhi kuch na kar paaoon per aap unnko woh tamam khushiyan de sakti hai jinnka hum tasawwur bhi nahi kar sakte in haalat me.
N: hum apne zimmedariyan nibhane me kabhi piche nahi hatenge per aap bhi ek baat samajh lijiye. maa k liye hum chahe kuch bhi na karle, unnki bete se unnki jo ummeeday hai woh kabhi nahi khatam honge.

..saying that she goes to bed and switches the lamp off. Mayank takes the sofa and rethinking what Nupur just said.

Early in the morning, Mayank wakes up to see that Nupur is not in the room. He realises the time and quickly freshens up. He wants to make up for yesterday to his mum…so like an obedient boy shows up at the breakfast table where Shilpa and Nupur are setting the table up. He can hear them giggling about something and decides to join in..

M: Good morning maa.
S: morning beta. kaisa hai tu? kal muhse mila kyun nahi raat ko?
M: woh maa dair hogayi thee aur mujhe lagah tum bohat naraaz hogi. I am sorry maa
S: arre mera baccha…sorry kyun? mujhe to Nupur ne kal hi bata diya tha
N: kya bata diya tha?
S: ke tu class khatam hone ke baad library me rahega dair tak. phir teri group ke saath dair raat tak parhayi karega. tune usse jab phone karke bata diya tha to sorry kyun bol raha hai. mujhe to yeh jaanke bohhhat accha laga k mera beta ab phir se wohi parhaku, kitabi keera bann gaya hai. aur phir se, naye sirhe se apni zindagi ko shuru kar raha hai

Mayank is looking at Nupur who is busy setting the plates on the table as if she cannot hear anything.

N: maa baith jaao aap ab. aap ko dawa leni hai na. jaldi se khaana kha lijiye. aur aap bhi (looking at Mayank)
M: haan bhai…mujhe to zoro se bhookh lagi hai. kal raat ko bhi khaana nahi khaaya (takes his seat)
S: khaana nahi khaaya? kyun? idhar Nupur ne bhi tere intezar me kuch nahi khaaya kal.
M: kya? (looks at Nupur)
N: arre maa..inhe hamari parwah hai kya? ghar aate hi kitabon ko leke baith gaye. kehne lage khaana khane ka waqt nahi hai. ghar me jo bechari ek biwi hai ussne khaya hai k bhi nahi yeh poochne ki fursat kahan inhe? (she winks at Mayank)
M: (is shocked!! )
S: yeh to bohat buri baat hai Mayu. parhayi apni jagah hai. parhayi k liye kya to apni biwi ko bhul jayega? main apni bacchi ki koi bhi taqleef bardasht nahi karungi..suna na tunay?
M: haan maa…
N: maa abhi to haan keh rahe hai…kuch hi dair me wohi ke wohi aajayenge ghum phir ke..
S: ...kharoos kahin ka (and they both start laughing at him)
M: yeh sab kya laga rakkha hai aap dono ne.
S: chup kar tu..ab apne haathon se isse khaana khila…yehi teri sazaa hai meri beti ko pura din bhookha rakhne ka

Nupur is now embarrased. She didn't see that coming. So was Mayank…

N: nahi maa ..thik hai. hum khud khaa lenge. koi baat nahi
S: uhu…shaadi k baad se dekh rahi hoon yeh tujhe bohat neglect kar raha hai. arre bhai..meri bhi aankhein taras gayi hai k tum dono ko pyar se ek saath dekhoon. per mera yeh kharoos beta..shaadi lagta hai kitabon se kerwa diya hai. shaadi kya hui, university me jaake rehne laga hai. chal ab..isse khaana khila
M: (Mayank is really flipped but he doesn't want to argue otherwise his mum might suspect something) so he takes a piece of roti and some vegetables and offers it to Nupur. Nupur is completely blushed…
S: (has tears in her eyes) Khuda tum dono ki jori hamesha aise hi banaye rakkhe

Mayank finishes his breakfast very quickly, changes his clothes and just when he is about to come out of the room, he bumps into Nupur.

N: kahan jaa rahe hai? bata ker jayye taaki maa ko sahi waqt pe jawab de sake
M: (irritated) aap ko yeh sab karne ki zaroorat kya hai? haan? mere liye jhoot kyun bol rahi hai ? please just let me be
N: let you be? If I let you be to yeh jo maa apne namm aankhon se humain duaayein dey rahi hai woh khatam ho jayengi. kya yehi chahte hai aap?
M: (cannot find any words)
N: agar itna hi fiker hai maa ki to aise kaam karte kyun hai jisske wajah se aapko ya humain unnke saamne jhoot bolna parhe! aur jhoot koi bhi bole, sunna to unnko hi par raha hai na?
M: (feels embarrased but after a few seconds silence he speaks up but this time with a mild tone) main university hi jaa raha hoon. exams saamne hai and I have a lot to catch up. aaj aapko bahana banane ki zaroorat nahi hogi
N: shukriya..
M: kis baat ki?
N: k aap maa ki ummeedon pe khare utarne ki kaushish to kar rahe hai.
M: (doesn't say anything…other than) raat ka khaana sab milke khayenge

and he leaves. Nupur also starts her day with the usual household chores. She is feeling a bit relieved today. Mayank may never be able to come out of his grief and give her the rights that she deserves but at least he is going to sort his life out and reach for the success he always wanted in his life.

-Neela

Edited by sharneel - 15 years ago

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abb01

@abb01

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#618

rWow amazing update

Nupur ko bahane banana aur jhuth bolan bhi aata hai

aur sath hi sath mayank ki tang khichana bhi

Loved the update

Sorry i was not abke to comment from long

Edited by arunabehere - 15 years ago

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Mahima

@Mahima_13

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#619

wow

nice job

sry for short comment

i am in a hurry

update soon

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Divya

@myownarea

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#620

hey neela :) no worries yaar, I m back so the comments will also flow on time..This part was very good, u know u bring a certain light-heartedness even in midst of such tragedy..!! i loved this nupur, at ur question is it worth it? i think yes, i wud willingly do something like that for someone like shilpa aunty's happiness..:)..abt mayank, i really hope to see him change ..but this time i did see some rays of hope that ur title suggested!! keep writing!! :)