PART 10: you can all blame the contrived DMG plot for my delay :)
"Wait listed!"
"Sorry, we regret to inform you…"
"We have placed your college application on the wait list…."
"Another wait list…Armaan, yeh sab kya hai?" An exasperated mom threw the letters from various colleges on the table. I still remember vividly that look on mom's face. The look that spelt disappointment at her son's performance- a frustrated expression when expectations are not met.
"Mom…I am still expecting some more replies. I have applied at more places. Don't get that disheartened."
"Here….two more letters. Both wait list." Dad walked in with the mail and a stern expression.
"I am sorry guys," I hung my head, "I tried my best."
"Don't worry son," dad sighed and nodded. He placed his hand on my shoulder, "it's wait list….not a rejection list. Wait list means there is still hope."
"Wait list also means you are not the first choice," mom argued.
"One doesn't always have to be the first choice in life Shivani!" Dad gave her a glare. Mom stopped arguing and left us alone, "second choices can also succeed."
"Dad, you were not fair to mom," I recalled how I had once overheard them talk about mom being the second woman in dad's life; how his parents had let him down because he couldn't marry the woman he had loved in college.
"Armaan beta, sometimes mom needs those doses warna she goes on a tangent."
"Thanks dad….I'm hopeful I will get accepted at one of those wait listed places."
"Me too," he smiled back
Next day, the hallways around the lockers bustled with the excitement of college bound seniors. Spring was in the air for sure- at least for those who had been accepted at colleges of their choice. A few like me were still groping in the dark corridors of a wintery storm, hoping for a ray of sunshine, a path towards a journey into the real world after high school.
"Hey buddy…so where are you going next year?" Abhimanyu cornered me as I tried to shy away from the back slaps, high fives and congratulatory wishes.
"I don't know," I shrugged my shoulders and hung my head, "I haven't received any acceptance letters yet."
"Oh…too bad. Well I was accepted at all five places I applied….100% acceptance! Dad is gifting me a new BMW at my success. Mom and dad have never been that generous."
"Congratulations Abhimanyu," your voice interrupted the conversation, "where are you planning to go?"
"Probably Cornell," he grinned.
"Wow! That's awesome," you congratulated him once again and glanced at me, "you know even Sid got accepted at Yale!"
"Yale?" Abhimanyu and I were stunned.
"Yeah, even I was surprised but I am happy for him," you smiled again.
"I bet it's those diamonds the college admissions got lured by," I replied cynically.
"Yeah, it pays to have a rich daddy in India," Abhimanyu laughed.
"Well, I guess," you just shrugged, "but Yale is Yale."
"Yale is where Bush Junior went…and we all know how brilliant he was." I remarked sarcastically. Trapped between super successful Abhimanyu and Sid's praises, I felt claustrophobic.
"You are right Armaan….brilliant Bush and richy rich Sid…Yale welcomes such types," Abhimanyu slapped my back and walked away, "hey by the way, hope you get into one the wait listed colleges, I plan to reject!"
Nothing was going my way. If you were not there staring at me with gaping eyeballs, I would have punched someone or something that very moment. Why was life being so unfair to me? I hated the fact that you were probably thinking what I loser of a boy I was.
"Ok, I am outta here," I sighed, weighed in by the look of disbelief in your eyes.
"Wait Armaan," you touched my arm, "is Abhimanyu right?"
"What do you mean?" I replied curtly.
"That you are wait listed at all colleges?"
"Wait list doesn't mean rejection, does it?"
"Armaan!" You followed me, "why are you upset? I know a lot of friends who were accepted to the best colleges from waiting lists. Come on Armaan, I know you will get in sooner or later. After all, you had an expert critique all your essays. Her talent cannot go waste."
I froze in my footsteps and turned around, pleasantly surprised at your words. You stood there smiling at me. I couldn't believe what I had just heard, "you are right," I smiled back, "even if Armaan Malik fails, Riddhima Gupta cannot…right?"
"Right!" You snapped your fingers.
"I don't care who is responsible, as long as I get to the finish line."
"You will," you gave me a high five as we parted ways to attend our respective classes, "after all wait list is another name for hope."
My spring had arrived. Your encouraging words had more fragrance than the blossoming tulips outdoors.
I soon forgot my hapless state, and instead started planning and dreaming about the senior prom night. Even though I was wait listed on college admission lists, I was very much in demand and first preference as a potential prom night date for many senior and junior girls. Word was out that quite a few of them were expecting me to ask them out on that special night, a memorable night for all high school students in the US. For many, it was not only a way to say good bye to high school years, but also an evening when many would lose their virginity and cross that boundary after which life would never be the same. While most of my friends prepared for this big event with visits to pharmacies and drug stores to arm themselves with personal protection devices, I spent my time thinking about whom did I really want to take out on the prom?
Hints were dropped by many a pretty girl in our grade. My locker in days preceding the prom was overflowing with cards, love letters, pictures and even gift cards- bribery at it's basic best. As I took time in making my decision, I felt a little flutter each time I thought about you as my prom date. Even though you were a junior, and juniors did attend the prom, somehow I never felt that you would say yes to any boy. Between you and your ultra conservative dad, I doubted that I would ever see you dressed for a prom night.
I recalled Anjie's words everyday- say what you feel- what better way than asking you out for the prom? What if you declined? I was used to being on the wait list, but this would be an outright rejection Armaan! I couldn't do it. Maybe I would just settle for Beth or Sue, or whoever gave me the sweetest smile that morning. As I sat pondering over my dilemma, I overheard a bunch of boys talking about the prom.
"Yeah, I asked Ruth to the prom."
"I asked Sally…she is hot!"
"Hey Abhi, are you going to ask Nikki?" Someone asked.
"Well, I guess," Abhimanyu seemed disinterested, "if I don't, she will throw one of her girly tantrums."
"Hey Abhi!" I interjected. I had always harbored a brotherly soft corner for Nikki and Rahul. The way Abhi spoke about Nikki got me a bit charged, "what do you mean? She worships the ground you walk on man. How could you be so rude?"
"Chill Armaan, what's your problem?" Abhimanyu
"If you don't want to take Nikki, I will!" I replied on an impulse.
"Really?" Abhimanyu snickered, "she doesn't care for you Armaan…I mean not in that way."
"So what? Even friends can go out on a prom night."
"I don't want you touching my girl," a possessive Abhimanyu jumped from his seat, "I guess, I will have to ask her before you try anything hanky panky on her."
I smiled inwardly; Nikki owed me big time for this one, I thought. Abhimanyu, the competitive guy that he was, always needed to win. For Nikki's sake, I didn't mind losing to him.
"Sid! Are you going to the prom? Do you know what a prom is?" Matt teased him.
"Yes, of course I do." Sid lowered his head shyly, "I even have a date."
My ears sprung up with curiosity; I walked closer to eavesdrop on their conversation and was shocked when I heard, "Riddhima!"
"Really?" Matt smiled derisively.
NO! NEVER! I wanted to strangle Sid at that very moment. As anger riled inside me, I cursed myself for not being more proactive. How could she have said yes? What about her over protective dad?
"Yeah, her dad suggested that I ask her for the prom because he wanted me to experience what an American prom is," Sid grinned like a little child who had just been given a lollipop to suck on by his big uncle-daddy!
"Man! You are brave!" Matt laughed.
"Why do you say that?" Sid was confused.
"I can't imagine Ms Geek-Meek dressed in a prom dress with unshaven arms….ha ha…ha."
"What?"
"Yeah, haven't you noticed that girl never shaves her arms?"
My anger grew to maddening heights. I couldn't control myself and with all my force, threw Matt on the floor. Soon a scuffle broke out in the middle of the cafeteria. Chairs, tables, glasses, plates were shattered all over as we came to blows and punches. Sid excused himself to notify the authorities while other students enjoyed the brawl at our expense.
A few minutes later, the vice principal forcefully separated us and gave us an ultimatum. With bleeding lips, swollen noses and my loose tooth, Matt and I were summoned to the principal's office.
"Matt and Armaan! I can withhold your graduation for this child like behavior today. For heaven sakes, you are soon going to be responsible adults in the society, how shameful of you to demonstrate such carelessness in front of the whole school?"
"We are sorry Mr. Smith," we both apologized and to our relief, Mr. Smith let go of us with just a warning and a minor offense. Our punishment- extra community service hours for graduation. I am sure he didn't want two trouble makers staying back at his high school to create more problems the following year.
As I walked out, Matt glared at me, "dude….manage your emotions next time. I was just kidding about her."
"Let's not talk about it Matt," I shook my head; I knew my anger was directed more at Sid rather than Matt and Matt's words just acted as fuel to the raging fire inside me.
As I walked towards the nurse's office, I heard your voice behind me.
"ARMAAN!"
With an angry expression, you confronted me, "what's going on Armaan?"
"Nothing that concerns you," I lied, averting my gaze to hide my bruised face from you.
"LIAR!"
"Riddhima…please, I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, I had a fight with Matt, but you stay out of it."
"You fought because of me, isn't it?"
I stayed silent and buried my gaze to the ground.
"Armaan, I don't need a guy to protect my interests. I am very capable of taking care of myself. Next time, stop interfering in my matters, will you?"
I was both hurt and taken aback by your response.
"I just did what any friend would do."
"No friend of mine ever uses violence to sort out issues. I hate to say it but you hurt your friend by getting into this fight."
"Riddhima?" I couldn't believe that instead of thanking me for defending your image, I was being targeted for being too intrusive?
"I don't want to talk to you Armaan….good bye!"
"Don't goodbye me Riddhima!" I was furious. I pulled my gym bag from my locker and slammed my shaving razor into your palm, "here, do me a favor Ms Preachy-Prissy, start using this for a change so that I don't need to get my jaw in the line of fire next time!"
OUCH! I bet it hurt. At that moment, I scurried off without waiting for your response. I know I had hurt you with those insensitive comments and slamming the razor in your palm was probably the worst way to offend a girl's femininity, but if you know Armaan Malik- he is capable of saying and doing the worst things despite having the noblest of intentions.
PROM NIGHT:
After having spent a rueful week preceding the prom, Beth and I walked in hand in hand into the banquet hall of a local hotel to celebrate the high school prom. Dressed in a tux, hair gelled by a stylist armed with my charming smile, I am sure a lot of heads turned our way to admire the handsome young man and his hot date. Yeah, Beth was hot for most, but to me, she was a waitlisted candidate who got lucky at the last minute. After our fight, I had no desire to go for the prom, but I couldn't let my other friends down. They counted on me for my party presence- I was quite an entertainer and conversationalist- any school party without me was a drab (so they claimed.)
You and I had not talked since the fight and razor episode. I was too embarrassed to call and perhaps, you were too humiliated to even look my way.
There you were- dressed in a red, sleeveless, silk gown- you walked in with Sid, thankfully clasping your purse, rather than his hands. I was awestruck by the elegance with which you carried yourself. A week had transformed you from a geek to a goddess. Even Matt and the other seniors gave you a second look. I am sure you had visited a salon that day; your perfectly styled hair, light make up and manicured look had me mesmerized. Sid looked lost and uncomfortable in the tux- poor guy must have rented a size just a little too snug for him from the tux rental. No one probably informed him that one had to reserve a tux, weeks in advance. A part of me enjoyed seeing the tux-conscious date of yours.
"Hey Armaan!" Beth tried to distract me from my distraction, "let's have some fun."
"Oh yeah baby…let's dance." I relented. Lost in the crowd of overzealous seniors and juniors, Beth and I danced on the dance floor fervently till I spotted you and Sid on the dance floor. My Michael Jackson moves suddenly came to a screeching halt as Sid hesitantly held your hands in his palms. Purposely, I danced my way towards both of you and 'accidentally lost my balance,' landing on the floor right between yours and Sid's feet.
"Excuse me..I am sorry, just got my foot caught." I pouted, feigning innocence and pain.
"Armaan?" Your eyes popped out, "are you okay?"
"Yeah, will be in a second. AHHH! Please give me a hand, will you?" I stretched my palm in your direction. Sid tried to help, but thankfully, you grabbed my hand just in time. You helped me to my feet with a bemused look on your face. Did you know it was all staged or were you genuinely happy that the ice had finally broken between the two of us?
"Thanks. I am so sorry to spoil your dance guys," I brushed my pants and kept your hand snug inside my palm.
"That's okay Armaan. I don't really know how to dance," Sid replied.
"Neither does Riddhima," I teased you with a sly smile on my face. My gaze rested on your silky, hairless arms; so the fight and razor was not a wasted effort after all.
"How can you be so sure about everything Armaan?" You withdrew your hands and folded your arms, covering the bareness with your palms. My gaze had perhaps made you a bit self conscious about your recently waxed arms.
"Because I know you well Riddhima." I grinned.
"No, you don't."
"Of course, I do!"
"I am a good dancer. I have taken ballet and bharatnatyam classes for years."
"Really? But this is a prom my dear ballerina. No one wants to see ballet or bharatnatyam here," I chuckled.
"I am not here to display my dancing talents Mr. Two-left-feet," you mocked me back, "because if that happens, you will never be able to match my steps."
"Really? I take that up as a challenge then," I offered my palm to you, "shall we? Do you mind Sid?"
"No..No…of course not," Sid just stepped aside.
To Beth's dismay, I was back on the dance floor but this time with you, not her. I have to admit, you are an elegant and graceful dancer. Unlike the pelvic gyrations and dirty dancing, other couples were displaying, we danced like a couple from the Elizabethan era. There was no grinding, but a strange crushing feeling inside my chest that was more invigorating than any pelvic-grind I had been part of in the past. My eyes caressed your lips as we danced together. At that moment, if there was a genie granting wishes, I would have just asked his permission to kiss your flowery lips.
I don't know how you felt, but those electric impulses were back exploding all over my body as we gyrated to the music. When Beth couldn't take it anymore, she requested the DJ to pause the music for a few seconds. It's those silent moments, when the music stopped, the dancers paused in their steps, I still remember vividly. My eyes were as if caught in a magnetic field, unrelenting and unwavering in their attraction for you.
I still feel that if Sid had not spilled the coke on his pants, we could have stayed glued to each other all night.
While you tended to Sid's spill, I stepped out into the parking lot to get some fresh air. Beth tried to follow me, but I dashed out as fast as I could. Something inexplicable had happened once again- just like the snow incident a couple of years back, the incident outside my bedroom a few weeks ago, and now this- what was this force pulling me towards you? Why did I resort to attention seeking behavior whenever I was around you? Why did your touch always manage to create these eddy currents inside my body?
At that moment, a horrific thought crossed my mind. After the prom, most couples would drive off with their dates to some secret destination. Beth and I were on the exclusive invitee list at Abhimanyu's beach house on Long Island. We were planning to spend the night there along with a few more couples. I knew you and Sid were not on the list, but I really wanted you (with or without Sid) to come along to the beach house. Moreover, I couldn't fathom the idea of you driving away with Sid in his newly acquired car. Wonder where he would take you and what would he do? Would he have the guts to kiss you?
NO WAY JOSE!
I wandered around the parking lot and spotted Sid's spanking brand new Volvo (his richy rich dad's gift to him)
Jealousy makes us guys wicked and vicious. With the help of my Swiss knife, I slashed the new tires of Sid's car (I hope I can apologize to Sid for my ghastly act one day.) Satisfied at my nefarious act, I returned to the prom where Beth was blowing hot and cold.
I had to crank up my charm-o-meter in order to pacify Beth. A long French kiss behind one of the banquet hall pillars was enough to melt her back into my arms. The kiss served as bribery for the rest of the evening. She did not bother me further and at some pretext or another, I made sure you and Sid stayed at un-kissable and un-touchable distances.
After the prom, a few of us gathered together to hit the road to Abhimanyu's house. With the corner of my eyes, I noticed a helpless Sid standing near his car.
"Excuse me Beth. Looks like Sid needs some help. Go ahead and sit in my car. I will be right back sweetheart."
"Oh Armaan…ok..whatever." She sighed.
"Hey Sid, what happened dude?"
"I don't know who did this to my new car?" Sid was almost in tears, just like a child whose new toy had been mangled by a neighborhood bully.
You stood behind him with a disgusted look on your face, "I can't believe that there are such hooligans in this part of the town too?"
I averted my gaze guiltily and hesitated, "well…it's kind of late in the night. It'd be hard to get all four tires changed. Can I drop you guys somewhere?"
"No Armaan, we will take a taxi. I know you guys are going to Abhimanyu's after party," Sid answered.
"Sid, I am not sure I want to go in a cab at this hour," you replied nervously and glanced at me expectantly.
"Ok, let's do one thing. Why don't we all attend Abhimanyu's party for some time and then I can drop you off home later?" I suggested innocently.
"No, Armaan. I really can't be out that late. We need to be home." You shook your head.
"That's okay Riddhima," Sid pursed his lips, "uncle told me it's okay if we get home a little late tonight, it's only 12 right now. I think it'd be fun to attend a prom after party. I have heard a lot about them."
My plan had worked effortlessly so far. An inside desire to hold you in my arms and kiss you at the beach house had motivated me to play this dirty trick on you and Sid. Once we were at the party, Beth would probably never find out as she had a habit of getting drunk within the first fifteen minutes of every party. Sid, as I had gathered, was easy to fool.
Sid was enamored by all those American High School traditions. He probably had no clue what happened in those parties. I accepted the offer willingly, "sure Riddhima. I promise to drop you both in an hour or so. Even I don't care about staying too late."
"You don't?" You were surprised, "what about your date, Beth?"
"What about her?"
"I overheard her talking about how you guys were planning to spend the night at Abhimanyu's." Even though it was dark, I thought I caught a red hue on your face, as if you were embarrassed that you had been eavesdropping on my plans. I liked the nosey you.
Beth was of course not too keen on sharing the ride with another couple, but she had no choice as I was the driver. Her hopes of us making out in the car prior to reaching the beach house had been crushed by the two additions our car ride. I added salt to her grievances by insisting that the girls sit in the back seat while the men sat in the front.
"I will need help with navigation. I trust Sid more than you girls." I lied. I really didn't want Sid sitting next to you in the back, in the dark. Sid was more than happy to oblige.
AT ABHIMANYU'S BEACH HOUSE:
As expected, the party was wild and boisterous. Loud music, couples barely clad in their swim suits, free flow of alcohol, a corner where people smoked pot and cigarettes, and other hidden corners where couples made out noisily.
The moment we stepped inside the beach house, I sensed your discomfort. You had probably never attended any party like this before. Perhaps seeing some of your classmates inebriated or stoned had come as a shock to you. That look of horror and revulsion on your face is still etched in my mind clearly.
I was used to these kinds of parties but was surprised to see a wide eyed Sid, captivated by this vulgar display of American decadence. Abhimanyu and other rich kids had all the resources to entertain their friends in this 'wholesome' fashion. Yes, I have to admit that I had tried beer and even smoked at some of those parties, but that night, I felt claustrophobic and suffocated in that environment. To everyone's surprise, I refused all alcohol and cigarettes. No, I was not trying to act all goody-goody in front of you, but something inside me made me resist the temptation. Whether it was the responsibility of taking you home safely, or my guilt that I was subjecting you to such horrific sights of our high school because of my jealousy, I just couldn't take it anymore.
"I think we should leave guys," I tapped Sid's shoulder.
"That soon?" Sid was disappointed but I saw the relief on your face. Your eyes were misty from tears of fear and helplessness. At that moment, I knew we had to leave asap, Beth or no Beth.
You gave me a tearful smile. Although, you didn't say anything, I knew you were grateful that we had decided to leave.
"What the &%$@@@!!!!!" Beth let out a string of superlatives for her lousy date. She had already consumed a couple of beers and was not in her senses.
"Yeah, we should leave Sid. Shashank uncle must be worried," I was really guilty and wanted to rescue you as soon as possible, "Beth, I am sorry for being such a jerk tonight, but I have to leave."
I didn't wait for her reply but heard her scream LOSER!!!
"Armaan, why are you doing this to Beth?" You asked as we walked towards the car. Sid was still behind us, dragging his feet.
"Because, she means nothing to me." I replied softly.
Your eyes rested on my face, as if trying to read between the lines, interpret what I had just said.
"Guys…why do we have to go yaar," Sid reluctantly opened the door of the car, "that was so much fun."
We said nothing else to each other, just unspoken words that our eyes exchanged that night. I might be wrong, but I think you felt something for me at that moment. Why do I think you wanted me to complete that sentence?
I never did it then, but today, I know I can say it without any confusion in my mind- Because, you mean everything to me, Riddhima.
…..to be contd….
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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