'Page in my Diary' (one shot)

Hi friends,

I don't know how many pages in my diary have gone in describing the times I have felt the want to fall in love. Many pages of my diary are full of the rainy days where I have sipped hot tea and have written, 'my feelings blossomed as the monsoon arrived'. I use to think about my prince charming, and always with certainty felt it has to be only rains which could ignite romance love. I wanted to feel the magic of looking at rains smiling, smelling the sweet smell of the wet mud around, the fresh greenery around making a pleasant site in front of me. The picture of a wonderful rainy day meant a day of wanting to fall in love and be with someone special. Winter made me feel good but with day ending sooner parents allowed me lesser time to be out and I cribbed with the summer hot season.

Things strangely changed with situations and also with time. My romantic thought of dancing in the rain quite disappeared. Many pages in my dairy suddenly disappeared what existed was calculations, expenditure list and at last writing 'I know the truth now.. Real world here I face it'…. Many pages have gone into writing crying sharing my pain and pouring my want to end my life and my want to start my life supporting my mom and assuring her I am with her, wanting her to survive. After a while looking at the rains I would tell myself to pack up inside the house. The sickness which rains could invite I couldn't afford at all. I couldn't risk getting wet in the rain as there is no one to take care. I had responsibility; I had to look after my sick mom who was very lonely after my father passed away. I couldn't afford to waste money as I was earning each penny with a lot of hard work and working day in and day out to get few extra bucks. I didn't want to spend them in such wasteful thing for a momentary enjoyment. I didn't want to spoil my clothes, my hair by getting wet in rains as I couldn't afford to spend money in buying new ones nor waste my time in washing them. Rains felt like burden. I am self made and I knew I was enjoying the monsoon only till the time when I had money in hand and someone who could take care. Summer meant more sweat now, getting more irritated and exhausted.. Winter felt much better as the electricity bill was low in winter… Now I very well knew romance is rare in real life… with reality having too many cause and effects…

After that phase, one page in my diary made a lot of difference in my life. I was walking from my office to the railway station in the summer's heat and felt very uncomfortable and what I recollect was going blank. I opened my eyes and there was black brown eyes staring at me. There was some concern in them and I looked at his lips, his mouth, he was uttering something, he was probably saying to me something. I couldn't hear it. I felt why he was saying it so softly. I realized my hair had covered my ears and the sweat had made my ears numb. I tried to brush aside my hair, feeling too weak. The stranger's eyes asked me to stay calm. He helped me, gave me cold water mixed with sugar. Now I could hear him better as he was saying, "Don't worry. You want me to call your family? Are you feeling better?" He was talking with care and there was some honesty in the voice which my heart felt. I was looking at him and he asked the same thing softly again without making me feel worried. I then realized he was asking and I was just listening not answering. He asked, "Your name?" I replied, "Your name?" He smiled and said, "Hey, I am Kabir. I am a RJ. You fainted on the street and fell over me; I brought you to this nearby shop. You want to call your family?" I nodded my head wondering who will come from my house. Later I realized my train that I must have missed, my mom alone in the house, the dinner I have to prepare, the bill I have to pay as it's the due date to pay it today. I started getting worried. I stood up in tension. It freaked me to be silly sipping sugar water and looking talking to a stranger. I looked at him as he was confused concern with my sudden tensed self. I assured him I am fine. I told him I need to reach home immediately I have too many pending work. He said, 'OK. Take care' as I had already walked ahead. I looked behind as I was rushing out. I screamed saying, "Thanks Kabir". He smiled, the smile was rocking as well. As if all that small tiny bits healed me somehow. Not my physical self but somewhere to my inner soul.

I felt we were strangers but that handsome looking guy who was having so much honesty in his voice and care concern in his behaviour and smile healing me through changed my heart my life. I never met him again. But the name brings to me life back. We were not in love I was not in love but he was God sent in order to make me understand life in a much better way. I somehow now recollect the way I had fallen over him on the street and he was pushed to the ground along with me. I was on his lap when he tried to bring me back to consciousness. He taking me in his arms and taking me to the nearby shed of the shop. All this may be my subconscious imagination where the dead romance suddenly wakened up. I had buried inside me in my heart the romance and love factors knowing its waste of time. But after this incident I smile more as if I can find him anywhere and somewhere feeling he is close to me and wishes good for me. I walk with a hope that may be life unknowingly gives every bit of what you want. No rain is needed to feel the magic of romance even in the blaze of summer heat I can find love romance if I give it space in my heart. The hope is not only to find love but to understand that, nature which is God made and we humans have to understand. Like every season holds its duty we hold our duty. As every season has its phases and individuality, in our life we have our own way and individuality.. Time changes and so do the very phase in our life. I started feeling every moment and every season can bring love in my life. If I consistently try and attempt to make myself equally concerned, loving caring and affectionate to the people I meet. I want to love and want that others like me feel loved and cared too. I dance in the rain. I don't want someone else first to love me; I have started loving myself first….

I don't crib watching the hot sun anymore. I save money to enjoy my life too and I make mom to feel and be part of my enjoyment. I have understood one thing that I have to feel happy to make her feel happy. If I am lonely and sad and she is lonely too then where have we given each other support? My mom shares her memories and I started to have my new pleasant memories which I share with her. There is talk of future which has to have joy, happiness along with some pain and disappointment. I am happy to have her besides me I am happy to be independent. She no more is burden but my friend in my journey along. I do it for her and I give her as well opportunities to do something for the house and for me. Equally we both feel much satisfied. I do have a special friend at my working place nowadays, OH! I think I like him. He is similar to me, I am scared to ask him what he thinks about me and the same is with him… I don't know what I will say when he will ask me out... Enjoying to be friends with him… hope he gets the courage to propose and would tell you my dairy about it when it happens...

The nature has its seasons,

Like family have their reasons,

Feeling blessed sometimes,

Feeling lonely and torn at times,

Welcoming a new arrival,

Getting tensed of one's survival,

Suddenly losing someone close,

Getting courage to pass the road,

You need to Love Life,

And Life will love you too,

Life can be blunt and sad and lonely,

But life is truth and honesty so read it carefully,

Every season gives reason to get something from it,

Every phase of life brings lessons to learn and derive from it,

Give life every chance to shine and give it hope,

Strengthen urself to face hurdles and u will certainly cope,

Happiness isn't in, with whom you are or who you are,

Happiness is the state of mind when ur heart says how special u r,

********************************************************************************************

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with only one season."

umm...First one to comment..!!

Firstly, I would like to introduce me.. This is Arman... and this your first fic I'm reading... :D

Now, coming to your OS :

It did had a sort of calm satisfaction in it...It was really nice... and the way you penned it down was just beautiful... would love to read more of you..!! Would catch up soon :]

one of the nicest banner i have ever seen...soooooo apt... n what a feel good short sweet story!!!! i wish real life mein itne simply sabkuch deal kiya jata sakta...

the thought is truly inspiring Bhoomi ... i do agree with so many lines u have written in this story....it was lovely to read yaar!! hatts of to u for coming with diffrnt ideas every time...

love u...nd jhappis ur way..

Hii... Nice One Shot.... 👏
Keep Writing.....

👏👏👏Thank You Very Much bhoomi for this another awesome ff ..waiting for your next one ... mind blowing dear.👏

Originally posted by: -Armaan-

umm...First one to comment..!!

Firstly, I would like to introduce me.. This is Arman... and this your first fic I'm reading... :D

Now, coming to your OS :

It did had a sort of calm satisfaction in it...It was really nice... and the way you penned it down was just beautiful... would love to read more of you..!! Would catch up soon :]

Hi Arman,

So u r the first to comment on this one shot story and this is the first time u r reading any of my ff.. am gald u felt like reading this one ..and hope had a good time.:)

Ya its simple on head without much of twist or turns or huge drama .. its simple and its just a routine thought process with a slight explanation why u should not make ur joy die inside u be whatever phase in life... whatever season come across..

hey i have written a number of ff u can read from the link in the siggy... thanks for all the encouragign words..😊

Originally posted by: sumaiya wahid

Wow....Bhoomi. As usual awesum. I guess I dont need to say everytym how wonderfully u describe the slightest things n I just keep thinking more n more abt wat u tried to portray. U always cum up wid sumthing different, unique n special......sumthing which holds a lot of significance.

I truly luved this shot as I always do. And it was quite realistic also.Keep up the gud work dear. Hope to get sum more from u soon. N I really wish ur computer doesnt keep disturbing like this.....coz I wanna read more n more from u.😃

Hi sumaiya,

Wow!! felt so good to get ur reply response on this.. this one i wrote on paper randomly and when i got comp i types in super speed and posted it immediately .. even the banner i made in hurry... as comp kabhi hi udd janey wala hai... u liked the page in the diary ..lol... its simple as usual na.. btu u liked those slighest details which r few ... ya i try diferent but there is a style which i cant get out of heheh many say reading the ff they can come to know this may be bhoomi's...heheh.. U felt it had a lot of significnt message of view point... i think there is one thing which i wanted to send across thorugh this chit bit..that was hope and hope.. joy whcih has to be found ..and loving urself which is the most importnat..

ya my comp is down literally.. am replying through my laptop which is dam slow... have written one story from long till 3 parts dont know when i will get that and ifnish it... hope to ctach u soon dear.. and thanks for all the kind encouraging reply.. luv u ..

Bhoomi

Originally posted by: nisisanjh

one of the nicest banner i have ever seen...soooooo apt... n what a feel good short sweet story!!!! i wish real life mein itne simply sabkuch deal kiya jata sakta...

the thought is truly inspiring Bhoomi ... i do agree with so many lines u have written in this story....it was lovely to read yaar!! hatts of to u for coming with diffrnt ideas every time...

love u...nd jhappis ur way..

Hi Sara,

U must have read u n himani r inspiration to this one.... hehehe Am glad u liked reading this.. hheeh... U liked the banner areey i picked some how the pic and tried hard to get the title and in hurry made it and typed the story wondering pata nahi kab yeh comp dagaa dejaye.. hehe am glad u liked it... yup it was just a page lllllooolll... sweet story? hmmm interesting u felt sweet means u r in a better mood... ya life mey deal kiya jaa sakta hai but patience n strength chahiye which really is not easy with tooo many problem cropping at the same time... glad atleast few of lines u liked and agreed.. so happy u had a good time reading it was all a timepass and nothign really strogn just came about ans posted... miss u dear.. n lots of lov n jhapis.. ami aschi..tc