||AR FF|| I Won't Let You Die - Part 18 Pg14 10/08 - Page 5

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part 12

Riddhima saw his name on her phone ...she was reluctant to pick up his phone….the phone was ringing and she was crying…
Riddhima: why armaan ..why is all this happening with me..what should I do now…(still crying)
Riddhima was blank …she wasn't able to think …and then the phone stopped ringing..riddhima looked at the phone…three missed calls….
The phone again started ringing. It was armaan ..riddhima wanted to answer the call but she was scared what if he hears her crying..what if he comes to know whatever had just happened…but riddhima wanted to share her pain with someone…..
She picked up the phone with shivering hands …
Armaan: what's wrong with you ..why aren't you picking up the phone….(little angrily)
Ridddhima: (with breaking voice) armaan..
Armaan realized that something had happened..
Armaan: (tensed) why you are crying is everything all right…
Riddhima started crying badly ..very badly ..she was crying..and crying holding the mobile..
On the other side armaan was shocked he had never seen riddhima like this…but he patiently heard riddhima weeping …
There was no exchange of words between them …riddhima was just crying ….and armaan was hearing all this…
Then he broke the silence…
Armaan: I am coming there…you wait I will be there in 10 minutes…
Riddhima shouted: no ..no armaan please don't come here I am fine ….(scared to face armaan...)
Armaan: riddhima please tell me what's the matter…please ..(Begging)
Ridhima: (still crying) nothing had a fight with anjie
Armaan : don't fool me ..I know something is seriously wrong….
Now riddhima wanted to tell him everything ..whatever happened ..whatever anjie said whatever she feels but she couldn't muster up enough confidence…
Riddhima: (with great difficulty) trust me armaan …I was feeling down and then I had fight with anjie (stammering)
Now armaan knew that she was lying and didn't want to tell him the truth so even he didn't force her…
Armaan: ok if you say so ..but is this because of me…I guess anjie ko acha nahi laga ki maine usse apne gar bulakar tumhare liye flowers bhijwaye..
Suddenly riddhima remembered about the flowers and note..
Riddhima: no armaan its not like that…we had a fight on a silly issue..you wont understand it ..let it be….by the way thanks for the flowers they were lovely …(half heartedly)
Armaan: hah! You really think I wont understand it …if you want you can share it with me..only if you feel like….you will feel better.
Riddhima couldn't take it anymore…she hated it when she had to lie to armaan…so she finally poured her heart out.
Riddhima: what if you love someone but you cant love that person…what if your feelings for someone makes you feel guilty…(sobbing)
Armaan : what?? …what does that mean?
Riddhima : I don't know…this is what I am feeling ..I told you ….you won't understand it…. (Irritated)
And with this she hanged the phone…
She ran to her room and fell on the floor beside her bed…..she buried her face on the bed still sitting on the floor…she cried and cried until her head started aching and then suddenly she realized what she had said to armaan….
Riddhima: (in trembling voice) shit I told him that I love someone..but I don't love him …oh god!! ..I don't love him…I know that I don't love him….
But anjie's words were echoing in her head..

don't try to hide your true feelings under the name of infatuation ..attraction. ..crush …and all that..
just remember one thing …..you wont be able to run away from your feelings for long…you cant ignore your true feelings for armaan…sooner you accept it better for you….
no riddhima nothing is wrong in dis …the thing is that you don't want to accept the truth you are trying to avoid the reality …ok riddhima listen to me very carefully.. its not in your hands when you start loving someone..love just happens ..and don't be ashamed of it ..if you love someone be confident of it…
Riddhima: but it depends upon me how can I allow someone to become so important..its my heart how can I allow it to love anyone…everything was in control then what happened…no I have to stop loving him. I have to stop being attracted towards him…

Tears were rolling down her cheeks ..she decided she won't be attracted towards him anymore..not even think about him
Then riddhima felt like closing her eyes..thinking about her dream boyfriend the way anjie told her to do ..
She slowly closed her eyelids..
Everything was dark then gradually images of various people flashed and vanished..
then she slowly started moving towards a man..she could see his back..slowly he turned his face…he was a man with most charming smile…. adorable dimples and sparkling eyes. That man was ARMAAN…
Riddhima opened her eyes with a jerk ..shocked at what she had just seen
Riddhima: no this cant be possible…no ..god please .no….it cant be armaan …I cant love him..no this is not true…
and with this her eyes were again full of tears..her vision blurred …she threw herself on the bed…

After some time
Riddhima was now sitting erect on her bed…she wiped her tears ..
Riddhima: stop it riddhima…accept it ..you love him..no need to run away from the truth..you love him…anjie was right…its not in your hands when you start loving someone ..love just happens..oh god! Since our first meet it was love and I was thinking that I am just attracted towards him..how stupid I was ..I was hiding my feelings for him under the name of attractions..how dumb can I be…and I was thinking that I am being true to myself…hah!!..Stupid me ….
Riddhima slowly whispered: I love armaan...I love you armaan..
And with this she starting feeling relived..relaxed ..lighter ..small smile played on her lips as she murmered his name…
Riddhima: armaan..my dream boyfriend armaan…(blushing)