Part XIX
Late afternoon, the 2nd year guys were sitting and chatting on the steps, when Ankit saw Ridhima, Rahul and Muskaan standing at the gate and laughing about something. Having spent a better part of Friday evening with Ridhima, Ankit was taken up with her. She was unaffected and unassuming and yet so appealing....and the three of them made a wonderful threesome, he acknowledged....their enthusiasm and joive de vivre rubbed off on everyone around them..... "The Three Musketeers...." he did not realise that he had verbalised his thoughts.....
"Three Musketeers?" Atul questioned, "How come all of a sudden you thought of that?"
Ankit pointed towards the gate "well......was thinking about the modern day musketeers.........those three there.........they are quite a riot, and great fun, aren't they? Yet completely devoted to each other, joined at the hip! I, for one, never thought that we would actually get so friendly with a bunch of freshers, but they are really irrepressible!"
"Yes, they are! " Atul smiled in agreement "Hey Ridhima, Rahul, Muskaan!" he called out "why don't you guys join us?" he glanced at Anjali as the three sauntered over, but she seemed to be quite pleased to see Ridhima.
"Hi Ridhima, how are you feeling? I am sorry, didn't see you the whole day, so could not ask earlier. Trust all well? Hope the vomiting stopped and you were able to get some sleep?" Anjali asked warmly.
Ridhima almost choked at Anjali's words. Anjali was being so nice and she felt awful lying to her. This was the second time this day that she was lying to people, damm Armaan! She glanced at Armaan who had a characteristic half smile on his face and was watching her with some amusement, "I am absolutely fine Anjali.......I guess I had been keeping late nights, staying up and reading the whole of last week, I guess it finally caught up with me........." she finished lamely glancing at Armaan who raised an eyebrow at her explanation and smiled.
"No, she's just glossing over it..........she was violently sick when she got home, so much so that she did not get to bed till early morning, didn't you Ridhima? Poor girl.........spent the whole night up groaning in pain............I think it would have been a better idea to spend time out in the open fresh air, would have made her feel much better. Why didn't you do that Ridhima?" Rahul said with an innocent face throwing Armaan a glance who looked up in surprise at Rahul. Ridhima glared at him but Rahul ignored her, having fun at her expense.
Was Rahul aware that Ridhima and he had spent the night talking? Probably, Armaan acknowledged wryly, they were too close for Ridhima not to have told Rahul, but he still felt a sense of betrayal. Wait, he was being unfair, he had talked to Atul about it, he argued with himself, but while he had just told him that they had coffee and talked, she had probably related every bit of conversation to her "dear Rahul", and that thought bothered him. Hang on dude, you don't know that! Maybe she did exactly what you did, told Rahul that they went out for a coffee and talked.........you're not being fair to her.........he hoped fervently that she had not..........the evening, the dance, the conversation, the time spent together had been personal and he did not feel like sharing that with everyone. No matter what he had said to Atul, to him the evening had been special, and close as he was to Atul, the thought of discussing it with someone else was akin to trivialising it. He was jerked out of his thoughts by Anjali's words.
"That would have probably helped her........." Anjali agreed, "but what have you been reading Ridhima that has been keeping you awake late nights?" Anjali continued trying to be friendly.
"uh.....Nothing that major..........just re-reading some old classics........" Armaan empathised with her obvious discomfort. Really, he should step in and rescue her, after all, it was his fault that she was caught in this situation, but before he could say anything Ankit spoke up.
"You know I am actually reading the Scarlet Pimpernel......." he quipped, "I was very keen to see what was about that character that so resembles Armaan that Ridhima was prompted into giving him that sobriquet........."
"Ankit, you and classics?" Armaan looked at him surprised, "you mean that The Economist and the Wall Street Journal have been left out in the cold?" As he teased Ankit, "can't imagine you being fascinated by intrigue and romance.......I thought you said romance did not have a place in your scheme of things! Is there something that you should be telling us?"
"Weren't you the one who said reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body? So taking your word for it" Ankit countered, "no seriously, this was only for you.......and I must say the book is interesting......though I am still searching for the similarities?" he winked at Ridhima as he saw her smile at his last words ".....as for intrigue and romance, a man is entitled to change his mind.......especially if the motivation is right!"
"Actually, I think the romance is particularly poignant in this. So near and yet so far.....If she had only been aware of the secretive part of his life, different events might have occurred for the better. And they're both so caught up in their own position that they fail to look beyond the obvious or try and reach out to each other...... Its amazing isn't it, how pride and love makes you behave so strangely sometimes?" Atul remarked
. "Armaan, since you have been nicknamed the Scarlet Pimpernel, lets see what's your take on this is? What would you have done?
"I guess given the time it's based in, it's only appropriate. If you look at that period preceding that, romantic love was associated with knighthood and chivalry, and in stories love was shown as a tragic emotion that drove the lover to accomplish great feats for his beloved." Armaan explained, "so not being vocal about your affections, I guess is in line with the prevalent or rather inherited thought process of that time, though I can't imagine allowing a misunderstanding to keep me away from the woman I love!"
"Oh I agree with you completely Armaan" Muskaan "Can you imagine being in love with someone and not letting them know? How vague is that? This sacrificing, compromising, self-effacing woman of the yester years is way beyond my comprehension."
"Really? So if you were in love with someone, you would be the first to walk upto and let the guy know?" Rahul asked focusing on her.
"Well......I .......umm.....I would......I guess......I would..... do something.....about it?." Muskaan said slowly a little embarrassed, and then recovered quickly as she saw Rahul smile at her embarrassment "Actually, now that you mention it, I would, if it was a guy......if it were a girl, then I might have second thoughts....".
A round of laughter greeted her response as Muskaan grinned, glad to have broken the moment. She had felt Rahul's eyes on her as he had asked her that question, and that had embarrassed her for some reason, but she was very glad that at least he wasn't behaving strangely right now; she was delighted to see him laugh and smile at her again and he did look very cute when he laughed especially the naughty twinkle in his eyes. Really, she needed her head examined; all sort of strange thoughts came into her head now days!!
"Hmmm......interesting......I am not sure I would be able to walk up to and tell a guy I was in love with him, unless I knew for sure that he was in love with me as well.."Anjali opined as she glanced at Armaan.
"Anjali, that's probably very sensible......sometimes that's the best way to avoid any hurt......." Atul patted her arm understanding where she was coming from. Now if only Armaan did too! While he had that conversation with Armaan, he was not sure if he could have a similar one with Anjali.
"But it's also cowardice.........." Rahul interrupted, "at the risk of sounding cliched, I think its better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all......I would hate to go through the rest of my life not knowing whether I had a chance at happiness or not, simply because I was too scared to take that chance......" He finished as he looked at Muskaan who had been listening to him with rapt attention. As soon as Rahul looked at her, she looked away, fumbling with the books in her hand.
"I agree with Rahul" Armaan quoted "Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life..."
"
"Armaan, would it be too difficult if you spoke in plain English?" Ankit looked at him pleadingly, "have pity on us mere mortals!"
Armaan shook his head smilingly, "Nothing Ankit, its just that I believe it's foolhardy to not express what you feel for someone. We all want to fall in love. Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified; our everyday reality is forgotten.....It may only last a moment, an hour, and an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.....so why would you not want to grab that chance at happiness?" as he finished he glanced at Ridhima who had been hearing him with a faint smile on her face. From the look on her face, he knew she probably would feel exactly the same way......they thought alike in so many ways....
"Armaan, can I respond in the same vein? " Muskaan looked at him admiringly, "still waters run deep......I never knew you were so intense.....no wonder Ridhima calls you....." She stopped as Ridhima elbowed her.
Armaan shuffled a little, clearly embarrassed, ".....actually.....nothing.....it was just a thought....."
"A wonderful thought and amen to that......" Ankit responded, "maybe you are both right.........one should not let go without giving love a fair shot.........or maybe I am just not being myself.........." he finished giving Ridhima a quick glance, "Atul, what about you?".
" To me its friendship.....cos love is blind but friendship closes it eyes......" Atul quoted.
"Man, you guys sound just like Ridhima.......equally intense......." Rahul piped in, "you should hear her sometime, waxing eloquent on this subject..........she can quote guys on this subject, whom I have not even heard of!" he looked wickedly at Ridhima who looked up startled. She had been so caught up listening to the exchange especially Armaan's that Rahul caught her by surprise. She glared at him motioning him to keep his mouth shut.
"Actually, you've been very quiet through all this Ridhima......" Ankit looked at her, she looked really sweet when she was startled "so what's your take on love?"
"ummm............nothing..............it's not important........... let's talk about something else..........a bunch of MBA students discussing love instead of business theories.......... I am sure there are better things for us to be talking about.............right Anjali? Muskaan?" Ridhima mumbled, trying to get out of it.
"Usually, I would agree with you Ridhima, but MBA students are also human with the associated emotions, right? I guess once in a while is good to get philosophical and get to know people's perspective, especially on something that is so important in our lives, right Armaan? There is no embarrassment in that, is there?" Anjali smiled linking her arm through Armaan's.
"Yes, sometimes, it's good to get another person's perspective..........so Ridhima, what is your take on love?" Armaan watched her closely as she shifted around, clearly uncomfortable.
"Come on Ridhima, this is definitely something I want to hear too........." Muskaan chipped in.
"Be a sport Ridhima, come on............" Rahul grinned at her.
Ridhima looked around, a little unnerved at everyone watching and waiting for her response, then took a deep breath, "I can't imagine not taking a chance at love........to me love is an all consuming emotion which is tempestuous in its passion and gentle in its caring.........it preserves and protects, it teases and excites, it is ecstasy and it is torment, it's friendship set on fire, a web of involuntary responses, and as someone once said, an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired!" she ended softly, looking up at Armaan. Somehow, she did not know why, of all the people there, she felt he would understand what she meant........it was the bond that she had talked to Rahul about.........he would understand what she wanted to say........
Armaan exhaled as she finished speaking and looked up at him. He had not realised that he had been holding his breath. Now he knew why she had crossed out that poem, That was trite compared to the emotions her words had just described, and, he understood exactly what she meant. To be in love was to love without cognizance of anything else. He always knew his sea urchin's emotions ran deep, but now he knew how it would feel to be loved by her. She would give of herself completely, selflessly, oblivious of everything else but the need to give and be given. He smiled at her in acknowledgement of what she had said.
"Wow Ridhima that was beautifully explained, really evocative" Atul finally broke the silence. "Really, Armaan and you are one of a kind. Both have a wonderful way with words, and express things with great depth. I guess it comes from the passion for books and all that reading you guys do........."
"Really? I don't think that's true" Anjali broke in as everyone looked up in surprised silence. She had registered Armaan listen to Ridhima with rapt attention while she spoke, and she had not missed the look exchanged between them as Ridhima had looked up at him, and then Atul's words. "Reading widens your horizons but it can't define emotions, can't make you feel something for someone.........That was nicely put Ridhima, but it sounded more like the teenager Mills & Boon stuff to me. High time you grew up sweetheart, the real world can be very different." Anjali looked up at Armaan distressed as he disentangled his arm from hers and shook his head reprovingly, "Anjali, what's wr......"
Before he could complete what he was going to say, Ridhima looked up, close to tears, a little shocked at Anjali's harsh words. "That's not true, Anjali, this is not Mills and Boon stuff, this is what I think and feel....."
"Maybe, I guess I got it wrong then, it's just that I thought love is more about actions than words! About being there for each other.....I am sorry, didn't mean to run down your emotions.....its just.....well....I guess.........I need to go. We have a special OB lecture this evening in another 15-20 mins. Shall see you around. Armaan, Ankit, Atul, you guys planning to bunk, is it?" Anjali was horrified at her own outburst but the shared moment between Armaan and Ridhima had made her loose control. She knew Armaan and Ridhima had been spending time together, but she had put it down to common interests and the fact that they lived in the same neighbourhood. But the exchange today really upset her, and, she had reacted impulsively. And she had no doubt that while the question was in the realm of general discussion, Armaan had specifically asked Ridhima for her take on love and she had responded to him, it spoke of far more familiarity than Anjali cared to acknowledge. Armaan and she had never got around to exchanging emotional confessions, least of all conversations about love. Yes, they had talked about problems, aspirations, ambitions, family but stayed clear of any emotions, feelings etc?to be fair, Ridhima had simply expressed her feelings and it was not her fault that Anjali had been jealous that Armaan had acknowledged. Anjali realised that she had been very rude, but she had not been able to stop herself. Now she wanted to just get away, before she said anything else that she would regret later. She had just made an ass of herself, ridiculed Ridhima and in the process opened her motivation to scrutiny and questions, pissed Armaan off; she had no desire to further exacerbate her mortification.
"You go ahead; I'll come in a little while." Armaan said firmly as Ankit and Atul got up. What the hell had happened to Anjali all of a sudden? He knew he would loose his cool if he was anywhere near Anjali right now, in any case, he did not want to leave Ridhima alone......it was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her into a hug and comforting her..........he wished he had not asked her that darned question..............if he had not, she would have not answered and none of this would have happened........she had been right, it was crazy of them to have been discussing all this..........
"Clearly love is an explosive emotion......" Ankit couldn't help remarking, looking at Armaan "..........if only people would direct the explosions in the right direction!" He had no clue why Ridhima's words had triggered Anjali's outburst but he only knew that in some way it involved Armaan. Had something happened between Armaan, Ridhima and Anjali that none of them were aware of? Had Ridhima's words touched a raw nerve?
As Ankit got up and started to move towards Ridhima to comfort her, Atul gave him a glare, and pulled him away, really sometimes Ankit could be completely insensitive, him and his smart comments. This is what he had been wary of, what he had tried talking to Armaan about, and, he suspected this was just the beginning.
"We'll see you around. Come on Muskaan" Rahul pulled an unusually quiet Muskan away as he patted Ridhima on her shoulder. He had not missed the moment between Armaan and Ridhima either, and, after their conversation on the weekend, Rahul had a pretty good idea about the reason for Anjali's outburst as well. He knew Ridhima would be very upset, and while his instinct was to reach out and comfort her, he figured it would come better from the person who was unwittingly the cause of it and maybe.......just maybe this was the catalyst needed to clear a few things......
"Can I throttle Anjali?" Muskaan whispered as they walked away "How dare she talk to Ridhima like that. B****y b***h!"
"Language Timothy!" Rahul admonished her, as he threw his arm around her shoulder and hugged her, smiling at her defence of Ridhima. He loved her loyalty and love for Ridhima, she really was adorable!
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Part 19 folks, may not be exactly what you were looking for in terms of AR but they are getting closer......I guess what Atul was scared of is getting close to being played out ......and high time Armaan woke up to the fact.......
The part is particularly dear to me because of countless late nights spent at the Bschool steps or gates sipping chai and having discussions on everything ranging from love, life, meaning of our existence to politics and our dreams and aspirations....one such session saw a good friend confess his feelings for another girl in the group.....unfortunately for him, the lady in question did not return his ardour, and what followed were a couple of embarrassing sessions after this one....Mercifully, the man persevered, and today the two of them are married, have two beautiful kids and are based in London...so more power to the never ending chai and conversation sessions.....
Fleeting though it is, there is a reference to another favourite book of mine.... The Three Musketeers which I am sure many would have read! A novel by Alexandre Dumas, it's a fascinating read, and, d'Artagnan remains a favourite character of mine. For those who might have seen the much touted Slumdog Millionaire, the
final question, for the grand prize, is the name of the third musketeer other than Athos and Porthos! So technically I could have won the grand prize if someone had helped me along the rest of the way, lol!
Please do, do leave me your comments and let me know if you liked it...I am traveling on Sunday so shall try and post the next part tomorrow if I can manage to finish it....
Lots of love
Sam
Edited by bernard shaw - 16 years ago
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