I don't wanna talk about it
It makes me wanna cry
Every time I pour out my emotions
I feel emptier inside
I don't know how to play it like...
I'm not in love with you
But I'll tryyyyy even though I do....
[Survive by Gabrielle]
The ink smudged on the paper as the tear drops mixed with the ink, tearing my eyes away from the little journal I closed my eyes letting the strain of the whole week... in fact the whole month turn into the worst headache I had ever had... this is what my life had come to... tears, pain and endless running. Feeling a hand gently placed on my hand I opened my eyes to see those gentle blue eyes gaze at me with so much affection. How I wished those blue eyes had belonged to someone else... but that someone else was somewhere else right now.
"Are you okay?" the thick British accent always brought a smile to her face, at least there was someone who cared enough to ask how I was... but what was I supposed to do? Spill my life out to him? After all even at the age of 22 he was nothing less than a kid himself... what could he do? Okay granted his only a few months younger than me... the operative being younger here so I couldn't burden him with anything I was unable to cope with myself.
"I'm fine" my voice faltered and it was evident my companion wasn't entirely convinced with my response
"Ritz we have an hour's flight then we're home... I promise whatever you tell me here will stay here... I won't tell a soul" watching James like a true boy scout hold his heart raise the other hand to show his oath I couldn't help but giggle at his cuteness. In all his efforts over the years James for some reason hadn't managed to pronounce my name correctly... everyone back at the dance school had managed to get at least my nickname right... Ridz, but James aka Jimbo, he was another species all together; no matter what he tried my name always came out as Ritz by him and now I found it weird when he called me anything else.
"Jimbo I'm fine... really, quit trying to act cute with me" ruffling his hair I gave him a reassuring smile.
"Ritz you know what your problem is... you're a terrible fibber. You're a brilliant dancer honey but a miserable actor. Please don't try what you can't do... now spill, what eating you up? I can't believe you spent the entire week in Venice moping around looking upset and depressed. You just spent an entire week with the most handsome guy on earth, ahem yours truly, and you act like it was nothing... really honey you're hurting my feelings here" pouting like a child Jimbo crossed his arms across his chest acting hurt.
"Okay relax I'll tell you... just quit acting upset, it's too adorable and I may have to pull your cheeks off" unable to resist I did just that; His hand immediately shot up to protect his creamy coloured cheek which was turning rosy pink from the assault.
"There's..."
"...A guy" Jimbo jumped in before I could even start my sentence properly. Seeing me lift my eyebrows at him he immediately put his hands up to surrender.
"Anyway... remember last term we had to do that ballet interpretation of Pride and Prejudice...."
"Yeh, the one where we completely aced the assignment and where we mixed Tango with ballet, I swear Ridz that was a complete stroke of genius blending the two together... who's idea was it again? Yours? Definitely not mine... I would have just stayed there and cried and..."
"James will you let me finish" the sudden use of his name obviously hit him as he fell silently instantly. "I'm sorry Jimbo"
"Don't be silly, go on you were saying" taking my hand into his, he caressed it gently reassuringly. My eyes drifted to the window as I recollected what happened... the clouds going past seemed to play the perfect setting of drifting back down memory lane
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