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Chapter 3 [A]
Kripa hated hospitals. They smells, the sounds, the look all made her extremely claustrophobic. Not to mention that her father had died in a hospital, and she'd been a scared 13-year-old, holding his hand, willing him to live longer. Dr. Varma's clinic was different however. She'd come here as far back as she can remember, be it for flu shots, her annual physicals, everything. His clinic had a different feel altogether. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was primarily a pediatric practice—the toy bins, the Disney mural, the assortment of candy at the front desk were dead giveaways.
Kripa sat in the small examination room as she waited for Dr. Varma. Leafing through the various magazines, she finally found an article on babies that caught her attention. Engrossed, she didn't notice the door swing open. Nor did she realize the tall figure studying her, until she heard this deep voice.
"Hello, Kripa"
She didn't have to look up to know who the bass-baritone voice belonged to. She could recognize that voice in her sleep. Taking a deep breath, she dared to look up, only to stare into those deep brown eyes that'd haunted her many years. She couldn't believe it. The one man she'd been trying to avoid was stand before her in flesh. He looked essentially the same as she'd remembered him. However, then he'd been caught somewhere between a boy and man, and the guy standing in front of her had definitely left behind all traces of boyhood.
His longish brown hair, which always fell over his forehead, was now a sleek, gelled crew cut. His posture, once droopy and stereotypically adolescent, now held an air of grown up confidence. His grungy clothes and chains and rings remained no more. Now he wore a tailored, grey button-down shirt under his lab coat (which did absolutely nothing to hide his well-defined muscles). Yep, the years had been good on Angad. The only thing that Kripa didn't like was that his eyes, once warm, alive and impish, were flat.
"H-hello Angad" Kripa managed weakly, mentally kicking herself for stuttering. This was very, very awkward. Not only was she unprepared for this moment, she was barely dressed! The dingy hospital gown they'd had her change into made her feel naked under Angad's scrutiny. "What are you doing here?" she finally asked.
That seemed to break him out of his reverie. "I live here", he said carefully. "Oh" Kripa responded. She didn't know how she wanted to react to that. A big part of her was terrified, she did NOT want to see this man often for the next six or so months. On the other hand, a small part of her leapt with joy. It seemed like she'd waited ages to lay eyes on him again. He held her eyes with his gaze; his eyes seemed to be searching for something within hers. She realized he was trying to evoke a response from her eyes, which he couldn't get her to in words. This angered her, and she darkened her eyes, shunning out any emotion that might've been there.
Angad saw her eyes darken, and immediately understood. She was challenging him, imploring him to make her do something out of her locus of control. He was too tired to play games. "Are you going to be in town for long?" he asked. "For a few months, maybe" she answered nonchalantly. She felt guilty for not telling him about her pregnancy. Why should I, she thought. It's none of his business.
"Well, if you're going to be here a while…we should…uh, we should catch up sometime" he said uncertainly.
His vulnerability nearly killed her. She almost smiled and accepted his invitation, but memories from that dreaded day came rushing back to her like adrenalin. The day he broke up with her. The day she'd come back home from being at college for a semester only to find out that Angad and Mishti were married. Her heart had broken then, and she hadn't quite been able to fix it yet. "No, I don't think so" she said firmly. The air suddenly seemed heavier. "How's Mishti?" she asked, trying to change the subject.
Angad looked down. "Mishti's gone" he said softly. Kripa's face twisted in confusion. "Gone where?" she asked, Mishti's fate unknown to her. "Mishti passed away two years ago" Angad said finally. Kripa's eyes widened, her breath caught in her throat. Sure she'd cursed Mishti innumerable times over the years for taking Angad away from her, but she NEVER in her wildest dreams wished any harm on the woman. "I'm so sorry" Kripa said earnestly, softly. "Me too" Angad offered.
To both their reliefs, Dr. Varma barged into the room. "Oh" he said apologetically. "I didn't know you were in here, Angad"
"Just catching up with an old friend" Angad smiled.
"Kripa! My dear, it's been so long" Dr. Varma said warmly. Kripa smiled up at the old doctor. Angad felt a stab in his heart. Dr. Varma got a smile, he had not. Dr. Varma also didn't break her heart, he reminded himself. "You look wonderful, dear. And expecting a baby, too! Congratulations!" Angad head shot up at the last statement, he looked at Kripa in disbelief.
"Thank you, doctor-uncle" Kripa said, embarrassed. She looked at Angad, who stared back at her, questioningly, accusingly. "I was just about to tell Angad about the baby" she lied. "Congratulations" was all Angad could manage. He turned to leave. "Kripa, I'll see you around" and walked out the door.
Back in his office, Angad was unable to sit down. Well, he was unable to do much of anything other than think about Kripa; about Kripa and her baby; about Kripa carrying someone else's baby; about Kripa bringing a man to Ann Arbor. His mind was consumed. He knew he had no right to question her, but he couldn't wrap his thoughts around the fact that Kripa was technically someone else's now. Not his. Not anymore.
Comming up in part B- Prateek & Avantika
I chose to do this in two parts because I want to contrast Angad and Kripa's relationship (a love lost) with Prateek and Avantika's relationship (A love that hasn't been found yet)...so keep reading ;)
and as always, leave feedback :) thanks!
Mangal Lakshmi
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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