FF: Bringin' SexyBack *Sari troubles*

Chapter One: Baara Hazaar Crore Ki Malik

"Dammit!"

The words rang out loud and clear into the night. It came from a man called Ranbir Nanda. He was standing on the terrace of his home. Ranbir was a man whom all the girls desired. He was suave, sexy and rich. He was baara hazaar crores ki malik. Everything in his life had been according to his wishes. He only had one problem. Today was his wedding day.

He was getting married to Kanya. A beautiful, sweet, middle class girl. For any other person, this would be a moment of happiness that they would treasure forever. Unfortunately, he was not any other person. To understand why his feelings were such, we'll have to go back one year.

FLASHBACK: A 5 star gym

We see a man from behind, focusing in on his muscles. He is weightlifting 60 pounds on each hand. A zoom over his eyes and lips. He's wearing jeans and a black t-shirt.

Most girls would fall flat at his feet after seeing this, but it has no effect on him. Why? Because he is HATE GURU. He hates girl, and for that matter, almost everything, with a fiery passion. But all that changed, the day THAT girl came into his life.

Ranbir Nanda's dictionary:

Kanya: Definition : Irritating, 2 by 2, chipkali, girl. Cute, but annoying. Chipkali and her poonch.

Kanya was the girl to whom Ranbir had gotten married. Contract marriage. But why did the hate guru get married? Don't ask, it's a long story. But the bottom line is he is contract-married and stuck with her. But, as in many love stories, hate turned into friendship, turned into love. And today, Ranbir and Kanya were going to be tied in a real shaadi. And that completes the circle. Now, back to the present.

"Dammit!" shouted Ranbir.

"Ranbir, calm down!" said a rather frantic Aditya bhaiyya.

Ranbir Nanda's dictionary:

Aditya: Definition : The older bhaiyya who comes up with flop ideas, helpful, but annoying.

"Calm down?! How do I calm down?! It's my freakin' wedding downstairs!!" yelled Ranbir, pulling at his hair in hysteria.

"Sun, itni mushkil se Kanya mil gayi! Ab kya hua?" said Aditya bhaiyya.

"Kya hua?! I'm the hate guru, dammit! I don't get married! What the hell has happened to me?" Ranbir asked in frustration.

Aditya was afraid Ranbir might go mad, but was too scared to do anything, so he let Ranbir rant. "Mujhe kya hua hai?! Pehle main kitna khush tha! Har ladki se door rehta tha!"

"I agree! Women are nothing but pareshaani!" Aditya threw in, hastily.

"Aaarghhh!!!!" said Ranbir in desperation. "What the hell have I done? I've stooped so low! I've played kabbadi, I've cooked, gou mudra chidkaya, I've caused myself excrucitating pain, and for what?! For a girl?? Aah! How the hell did this happen?!"

We shall now leave Ranbir in his raging realization. What will happen nexxxxt???? Comment! As soon as there are at least 10 comments, I will begin writing the next one!

princez-preciou: 7Th comment 😉
krishy love it so far!! continue soon!

Recap: It's RanKan's wedding day and Ranbir is having a nervous breakdown on the terrace.

Chapter two: Mehndi Hai Rachne Wali

A: Sun mere bhai, ab rone ka kya faida? Tum abhi shaadi se inkaar toh nahi kar sakte…
R: Kyun nahi kar sakta? Meri shaadi hai!
A: Ranbir, tum hosh mein nahi ho. Neeche aao, aur chup chap Kanya se shaadi kar!
R: Nahi! Ab jo hoga, meri marzi se hogi!

Downstairs…

Everyone is glowing with happiness in the hustle and bustle of the wedding. Suddenly, Shantabai enters.

S: Suno suno sab log! Arz kiya hai…
Shenaiyaan baj rahi hai,
Leke pyaar ki geet.
Suno re suno, aane wala hai,
Kanya ke mann ka meet.

Chapter 3: 7 x 2 pheres

Kanya looks into Ranbir's eyes and sees……

Happiness. Pure and total happiness. Or so she thinks. She smiles to herself, believing everything is all right. However, she missed the flicker of strained determination. Everyone was blissfully happy, jaise ki saare qayanat mein dhundne se bhi itni khushi ke pal nahi milte.

Ranbir's dictionary:
Shaadi: A horrible mistake. Zor se brakes par paun dhabao aur jaldi U-turn le lo!!!

As they stood up to make the pheres around the fire, Ranbir counted them off.

1. for the sake of my sanity
2. for the hate guru that I once was
3. for my happiness before Kanya
4. for the freedom of bachelorhood
5. for the mukti from domestic responsibilities
6. for the level of my awesomeness as a hate guru
7. for my sanity….wait. I already said that. Oh God! Abhi se pagal ho raha hoon!

However, Kanya counted them off in a slightly different way.

1. I will love you always, no matter what.
2. I will be faithful to you always.
3. I will put you before others and myself always.
4. I will stand by you in times of difficulty.
5. I will take care of you when you are hurt.
6. I will never let you do anything wrong.
7. I will never lie to you…
…she thought and smiled.

They turned to face each other to place the garlands around each other. Ranbir gently slid the fragrant band of love around Kanya's neck. She blushed.

R: (thinking) Wow, yeh kitni khoobsu- No Ranbir! Don't get distracted!

Srry it took so long guys. I was coming up with the perfect scene.

Chapter 4: Wrath of Kanya

He climbed on the bed and leaned in to her. He slowly, as if he could not believe he could, reached toward her ghungat. And lifted it. Inside he saw the most beautiful creature his eyes had ever seen. She was gorgeous. And now, she belonged to him and him only.

R: (thinking) Kaun soch sakta hai ki ek chhoti si ghungat mein, aisi kamal ki cheez ho sakti hai? Stop. Control, Ranbir, control!

K: Ranbir?
R: Hmm?
K: Kahaan khoye hue ho?
R: Kahin nahi. Main yahaan hoon. Tumhare saath.
K: Ek baat puchhoon?
R: Haan, puchho na.
K: Tum mujhse kitna pyaar karte ho?

Brillant, just plain brillant! I love love love love love Ranbir's dictionary like I said before! Oh, just got to love bad boy sexy! Yes, hand guru is back! But Kanya isn't less angry! Love the almost touching stuff. It was hot!😛 😳And I want more hot 😉 The length is good, it gets us excited for the next part!

Krish, continue soon, please! Like hurry!😆😳

suganain: GREAT!!! 👏 👏

Recap: Ranbir confessed that he is back to being a hate guru on his and Kanya's suhaag raat. Kanya explodes with anger 😆

Chapter 5: Shaadi Mubarakh ho

Ranbir was awake with his eyes closed on his bed. Last night was his suhaag raat. He was enjoying the peace that one has in that place between sleep and awareness. And then, he heard a voice.

K: Ranbirrrr...

R: Hmmmm? (with his eyes still closed)

He felt a warm, soft kiss on his eye, and then one on the other. And then, a sweet, teasing, sweeter-than-strawberries one, upside down one on his lips.

"Kanyaaa!" he yelled playfully and grabbed at her.

BAM!

And then, his dream bubble popped. He opened his eyes to find himself on the floor next to the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, in last night's clothes. Slowly, as his eyes gained focus, his memory of the past night came to him. He remembered (with a shudder) Kanya's tirade. But now, he was free! He had no responsibilities! He scrambled to his feet and threw a happy punch in the air.

K: Ranbir?

Ranbir froze. This was his chance to let her know who is boss. He is in control of his own life! Let her know that she can't question the hate guru! He took a deep breath and turned around. Behind him stood Kanya with a understanding expression.

K: Look Ranbir, mujhe pata hai ki kal raat maine bahut kuch bola, par tumne bhi kuch aisi baat bola ki mujhe vaise react karna pada. Dekho, main woh sab bhulaane ke liye tayyar hoon.

R: (smirking) Oh yeah? Aur tumhe lagta hai ki tum woh sab bhool ke mujh par ehsaan kar rahi ho? Look babe, I'm Ranbir Nanda!

He swaggered closer to her.

R: Tumhe jo karna hai, karo, par ek baat samajh lo. Main tumhara koi aashiq nahi hoon. Main hate guru hoon, get it? Mera jo marzi hai, woh main karunga. Maine shaadi tumse is liye kiya, kyunki mere paise haasil karne ke liye yeh mere ek mauka tha. Ab main apni pehle wali zindagi jee lunga. Aish aur araam ki zindagi, namely. Aur mujhe koi bhi pati ka responsibility nahi nibhaunga. Got it?

K: Par Ranbir...

He put his arms around her neck and pulled her in closer.

R: Sorry babes, ab main tumhara Ranbir nahi hoon, and I understand how that must hurt, myself being the most sexy thing in the universe, but you are just going to have to deal with that.

Ranbir stalked over to the bed and sat down, looking very sure of himself.

Kanya was astonished. How the hell did this happen to her? She was married to a hate guru. She wasn't going to let this happen to her. She took a sharp breath and spoke.

K: Toh tum is shaadi ke bandhan ko nahi maante?

R: Nope.

She angrily stomped towards him and grabbed his shoulders firmly and forced him to face her.

K: Look mister, agar tum maane nahi, toh main bhi peeche hatne wali nahi hoon. Agar tum is shaadi ko nahi maante, toh main kyun maanoon?

Ranbir's smile faltered.

R: What?

K: Kya what? Tumhe lagta hai ki sirf tum aish kar sakte ho? Main nahi? Koi baat nahi, khud dekh lo. Aaj raat tumhare dost, Ashutosh, ne party rakha na? Wahaan pe...

R: Wahaan pe kya?

K: I don't know, kuch bhi ho sakta hai.

R: What do you mean?

K: Oh, I don't know, let's just say that there are many fish in the sea.