Kolkata Khobor (Fun post paper) - Ayub Khan is our reader! (pg20)

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#101

Insider information - Kangana Goenka visits Panditji to know her marriage prospects

It has been already known that the great Panditji has broken Shaurya-Durga engagement. Panditji had told that there is a problem with Durga's Kundali and her husband will die within a month of marriage

Our little birdie inside Goenka mansion informs that this prediction by Pandit has greatly upset the daughter of the house Kangana Goenka who has plans to get married.

So she had a secret visit to the Pandit to know how good her marriage prospects are.

Our birdie further informs that the lady got the glad news from Pandit that she will be married and if there are any problems in her marriage that will go away with a Pooja that just costs 5 lacs.

Kangana Goenka returned home happily only and as per the last information available is preparing for Pooja.

We will let you more on how Kangana's marriage prospects are going as and when we get more information. So watch out this space for more juicy info from Goenka mansion

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.navi.

@.navi.

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#102

guys lovely post 👏😳

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#103

Snoopy Reporter Reporting...

In High Society of Kolkata, Snobby Ladies were overheard Gossiping as to WHAT has happened to their Mighty Shakshi Goenka of late.

Shakshi Goenka had not attended any Kitty Parties, nor she was seen buying Designer Sarees or Buying her over the top Necklaces or Huge Jhumka's.

Snobby Ladies were overheard discussing if Shakshi Goenka known for her

Sharpness and "Holier Than Thou " Attitude was losing her touch since the Arrival of the New and Pretty Young Socialite Durga.

Snoopy Reporter and Snobby ladies know for sure that Shakshi Goenka is

fuming that her Beloved and Spoilt Rotten Son has been seen pursuing the New and Pretty Young Socialite Durga.

Snobby Ladies also know that Shakshi Goenka does NOT take well to Competition from anyone for her Spoilt Rotten Son.

Bets are being laid by Snobby Ladies to see who will WIN in this Battle of The

Two Titans...

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#104

LKG Student in Manipulation decides to fight with 2 Phd holders of ManipulationTo all lovers of Kolkata Khobor we have very interesting news for you. Dev Goenka who is currently doing LKG in manipulation has finally decided to take on the mightly Phd holders in the same disciplne Sakshi Goenka and Durga Thakur.It will be interesting to see how long this little kid will survive among these ladies who doesn't waste a time in planning and plotting to keep their target safe. Even in the first step our LKG student seems to be faltering. But seems like CCTV camera will save him for the day. To know how long LKG student Dev Goenka will fare with the masters Sakshi and Durga tune in to EHT Mon-Sat 8pm only on Starplus.

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#105

"Shaurya" and "Dev" make it to dictionaries!

Kolkata, The famed Goenka family of Kolkata has added another feather to their cap. The names of their scions Shaurya and Dev have been added to Hindi dictionaries as words!

Linguists say Shaurya is synonymous to "bewakoof" and Dev is "dheela". That means now we can have sentences like - "Tumne mujhe Shaurya banaya!" when we have to say Tumne mujhe bewakoof banaya.

The word Dev will have varied usage such as "Yeh pyjama bada Dev hai" (if pyjama is loose and doesn't fit) and "Yeh bailgaadi badi Dev chal rahi hai" (to denote slowness)as the word "dheela" itself is used in many contexts such as slowness, sluggishness, looseness.

Sources say experts conducted research and observation studies over years to induct words after Dev and Shaurya Goenka in dictionaries. The formal changes will be finally made in new editions of dictionaries published by next month.

We asked Kolkata residents about this development and they all said, "Sahi hai!"

Our correspondents tried to contact Goenka clan but none was available for comment.

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#106

Snoopy Reporter Reports...

Snoopy Reporter has picked up a scent that Kolkata Socialite Shakshi Goenka is back with her favourite Pass time of Creating Havoc amongst Residents of Kolkata .

This time her target seems to be close to her own house that she suspects is closing in on her secret.

Upon digging it was discovered that the Famous Kolkata "She Wolf" has picked up a WHIFF of where her Nearly Destroyed Target Payal could be hiding.

Shakshi is again in her Element of using her Sharp Cunning and Ruthless Intentions of finding her Nearly destroyed Witness and use her Again to get even with her NEW Enemy Durga .

Will Shakshi succeed in her Devious plan??

Will Shakshi find Payal ??

Stay tuned to to see if the Snoopy Reporter has more to report.

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#107

MEDAL AWARDED TO DEV GOENKA

Kolkata, The International Moron Association has brought out their annual list of biggest morons. They have chosen Dev Goenka of the famed Goenka clan for ETERNAL MORON.

The award consists of a medallion and entry in International Moron Registry.

Talking to press the convenor of IMA says, "Dev Goenka has been unanimous choice when we were looking for the top moron. Slow, stupid, fuzzy, being at wrong place at wrong time and saying wrong things at wrong time to wrong persons - Dev exemplifies all qualities that we look for in a moron. The fact that he spoils every plan and roams like a lost vagabond about the city, believes dead people are alive and clings to trinkets shows what moronic elements lie at his core. So who better than him for this prestigious medal?"

Sources say a huge function shall be organised in honour of Dev Goenka and a special medal shall also be presented to his mother Suchitra Goenka who is said to be quite a moron herself, rather the original Moron of all time.

Goenkas never fail to make Kolkata proud!

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pallavi25

@pallavi25

Inactive

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#108

Biggest MORON Award to Dev Goenka...the Most Deserving Moron in Kolkata...👏😆😆

Bhatakti Atma, Lost Boy of Kolkata who goes around with a dumb expression and does the opposite of what hes supposed to do...helps the villain/vamp and endangers the people he supposedly loves!

He definitely takes after his mother, the eternally clueless Suchitra Goenka! 😆

Edited by pallavi25 - 11 years ago

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#109

Goenka Group takes over Aastha channel, Suchitra Goenka new CEO of Aastha

Kolkata, India's biggest religion cum spirituality network Aastha has now been taken over by the Goenka group. The deal is said to be for a record sum not disclosed to media. Suchitra Goenka has been appointed its CEO and reportedly going to anchor programs on pujas, mantras, astrological remedies as well. Rajnath Goenka was ecstatic and called it a great business opportunity as religion means big bucks in a country like India. He also added it would be another attempt by Goenkas to contribute to promotion of Indian values.

Sources say Goenkas will also open Bhakti Mein Shakti stores across Kolkata that will sell religious stuff such as idols, religious texts, sacred threads, puja thalis and samagri etc. Suchitra Goenka will personally look after day to day proceedings with help of her son Dev. A certain Durga Thakur might be roped in stores venture too but market watchers say it is too early to predict her involvement.

Meanwhile Kolkata Khobor spoke to Suchitra Goenka who said she was honoured to be a part of this initiative and would do anything to promote faith. "I am a believer. I feel only faith can accomplish everything in life. I always turn to prayers and yajnas whenever I need something in life. My sacred threads saved life of my son twice and since then my faith increased even more. I would be glad to promote religion through platform given to me at Aastha."

Social circuit, business or religion Kolkata's first family rules everywhere!