Chapter 1
L i f e i s F i n e
the chapter title is on the poem "life is fine" by langston huges.
"No Journal? What kind of Joke is this!" Sumanscoffed.
As always from past 10 years when his journal used to come, it used to be packed in the way. And she used to take the gift , make coffee for herself and reading it until she finished it over night.
There always had been something about those pages of the Journal, they used to smell like paper and him. His writing was inscribed on it which had been quite cleaner than before.
In the time of gadgets, he still chose to write by hands and on paper which was indeed overwhelming. It's intriguing to read someone's Journal, well it was until Pushkar told that he told Shravan that "Suman read his Journal and replies are by her mostly." And from that time she started replying with pen rather than typed.
Although he never mentions anything about what she replied but that must be his forte, she wondered.
She frowned as didn't find anything except a paper.
Hello, Suman.
You must've been thinking where is Journal, right?
Well this time I would be giving you that by hand! Exciting? I know.
She smirked at his cocky reply to his own question.
See You Soon.
"Oh My God! Geez" Suman jumped from the couch beside window and start shrieking with happiness. The child her was smiling and filled with happiness with the news of return of her best friend.
She quickly dialed Pushkar's number and confirmed it. It was just some days before, when her aunt said no to her for a trip to USA.
And now, hell with the US trip, Shravan is coming back, her inner self screamed!
2 days later
"Bhaiya you remember Sumo?"
"Kaun Sumo?"
"Suman, Tiwariji's grand daughter. Remember? You guys used to hang out a loads!"
But Shravan excused himself and went to his room.
How much he loathed her. He made her, his life line and she just betrayed him. What she couldn't understand was their relation was beyond the words but it's not always silence we have to understand. Its something more.
That day, he knew that she was there in his welcoming party in that red dress but the anger took better hold on him.
Three Days Before
A strong feeling of belonging came into him as he saw her. She looked breath-taking in her red dress and her wavy brownish-black hairs curled from down as they rested just above her waist line.
She looked to and fro and that the second he came to know that she is trying to find him, he happy danced in his mind. She looked even more beautiful than in her pictures.
Yes, he did not like her anymore but yet he kept oneself updated via her social networking sites, stalking her completely. He saw Pushkar pointing at him and then coming towards him. His brain acted faster and he left the party and went to his room.
And looked for a book, which held something and his heart urged him to read that. It was his first love letter, ignored and uncared.
Along with his feelings it held his heartbreak, his first rejection and probably the only one.
PRESENT
Then he realized that it was just a matter of seconds which faded away. How much he wanted to be her that friend, on whom she can rely one, on whom she would trust with all her heart, the one person that would be her first priority but then that day, Ten Years back made him realize that he don't even stand on the last priority of her.
Well at least that he thought.
What Pushkar didn't know was that, he knew that his journals were passed to Suman and she did send him the Journal back which he stood at the back of his shelves unread but the cover scream who had written those.
Those covers had some sweet gestures, a gesture which once made their relation unique but now they were far apart.
He doesn't feel that anger anymore because she wasn't worth it. He couldn't ever say that he hate her because he couldn't expect hatred for himself and so there is no place of hatred for anyone in his life.
But he loathed her, her presence is a disgrace in his life. Even when he said he is fine, life had never been fine since the time she had not been in his life.
He got up and took out all what she had sent him from his bag settling himself across the study table.
3 Days Later
She sat down with coffee in her hands near the window while reading the letter left by Shravan. She couldn't understand why he had been so ignorant and strange to her.
The last time she knew was that, that he understood her even before the words left her vocals.
He was there whenever she needed him, she was ignorant though yet she knew he will be always be there for her. She did say sorry in her Journals which were as a matter of fact were mailed to him.
Might the Karma is back biting her, but what she didn't understand was what happened when her parents died? Karma biting her all over again or had she always been so wrong that it always bites her back.
She opened the letter and read :
Hi!
When you would be reading this letter, I would've gone back long.
I just came here for Dad's Birthday. The last letter you received was from Pushkar and the Journals had been given to you by him without me knowing though I get your Journals, I never read those.
And I don't say I regret that because I still feel what you did was wrong. Suman you had been everything for me and those 10 years had been really difficult yet helped me to become a better person.
The night I returned I knew you came to the party. And then I read you Journals and realized what we had was past, its just a small yet unbreakable bond which I want to keep with you until lifetime.
So another five years and I would send you Journal on this same day every and remember the fifth year you might see the return of the bond we had, the close one.
I realized that time had driven us far apart and strange we, actually I never tried to do something for old's sake but now I am giving us five years to know each other, ourselves better and to know our priorities.
Until then "Life Is Fine"
Suman breathed "Life is fine" and folded the letter tenderly and drifted to sleep keeping it in her possessions box, it was too much for her to get to know in one night, yet it would change their life forever.
____________________________________________________
I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.
I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.
But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!
I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.
I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.
But it was High up there! It was high!
So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born
Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.
Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!
____________________________________
Chapter 2
w h y h e w a s t h e r e
okay since every chapter holds of different emotions and is based on poem, this one is "why he was there" by edwin arlington robinson.
what i want to get you guys to know, that for getting into depth of the chapters, you guys need to understand the poem. i basically could've done an analysis but i didn't because that's basically what we do or had done in out Literature classes.
to get into a depth of something you need to understand and get to know the underlying meaning which i couldn't help but think of writing a story.
if you read this poem, the person narrating is talking of him "who was a part of past."
though the past could not only be taken as him in the past but some memories of the past, the way it was in past and the way in present.
the "past" talked about could not be taken just as "a long time" but past refers to something happened before what is happening for now.
enough of rant, let's get back to the story and the simplicity yet boldness and serenity yet the strong emotions of the poem.
also, the story might contain short chapters as well big and will be having time gaps. the story had been flashforward 5 Years,so it would be written in present day (set up after 5 years) and a day taken from the past.
PRESENT DAY
She sat on window table with a set of book piled up in un-alphabetic order, sipping hot coffee. The sun shined much more beautiful that it usually does. Since she woke up, she had been waiting for the parcel to come. It's strange how usually by the time it used to be at her doorstep.
"Suman, what will be in the menu today?" A lady in her mid 40s came and asked her.
"It's in one of the drawer of the dinner table." Suman spoke sternly and moved back to her thoughts.
She looked out of the window at the busy streets of Boston. She came here 2 years back and now run a restaurant.
"Ma'am, a parcel has arrived for you." Another of her employees, spoke.
"Okay! I'll go and recieve that, I'll be at the restaurant 2 hours later. Hope that's okay?" Suman picked up the parcel from the table and moved back to where she was sitting and asked.
"Yeah , No problem."
As soon as Suman opened the packing, she caressed the surface of the book. The rough one and the smelly, that kind of smell that come from books. She had never been fond of books but in those six months before coming here, those became her best friends. She looked at the cover, the drawing made on it and a word carved with that writing of his 'Memoirs'.
She breathed in, a drawing of them sitting apart yet being together. She hoped to see him again today, something that she hoped everyday but today something felt different. It has been a long time she got a drawing from him, of their teenage self. That brought a lot of memories.
"and there he was in his old chair, serene
as ever, and as laconic as lean
as when he lived, and as cadaverous."
These words possibly were the best to describe him but he was her only support besides those memories and the restaurant. That sincerity in his eyes always made her fond of him, true she hadn't accepted the feelings she had before but she accept them now because that was all what she have. She couldn't afford to lose him.
She vividly remembers the moments when she was literally on the verge of losing him, as in material.
Six Months Ago
"Shravan, you should get down. Why do you think I hadn't done this yet? Shravan please I am scared, just get off the chair."
They were redecorating his house when he got a call from his office, leaving her the interiors in living room to be done for some wee hours. A chandelier was needed to be hanged but since the standing stairs were moving too much for one's good, she left as it is.
And now as he returned, he decided to do it. Idiotically of him to not listen to her. But he somehow managed to go further.
"Sumo I am not going to fall. Take a chill pill." As he said that, Suman got up and huffed and walked to the kitchen without caring anymore about what he said.
Soon she returned to the living room after a loud voice came from, only to find Shravan on the floor with his head bleeding, a glass piece stuck in his head. And she went ballistic. She cried until her eyes became sore, her voice became hoarse and she was only calmed when he got transferred from the operation theatre after some hours.
As soon as he got conscious, she scolded him to no ends and Pushkar smiled to see her scolding Shravan as soon as he entered his room.
Surely Shravan was fractured from parts of his body due to the falling but she was the who felt fractured from inside.
And he, well he managed to keep a smile on his face watching her worry.
And so for three months she took care of him and Pushkar joined them as well when sometimes she was needed to go to Houston.
PRESENT
Irony of life, people go and come, we keep their memories or let go saying that they need peace but there is always one person whom you want to be ever with and never let go, because they had been with you the most , don't they deserve peace? And so she let him go. He fought because of her promise but when she told to let go, he, her nanu went in peace and that is what everyone deserves.
THREE YEARS BEFORE
"Nanu promise me you will fight for us. Please don't let go hope, you will make it." Suman spoke as tears formed in her eyes. Shravan pulled her closer and took her out of his room.
After Shravan left, she was back to normal though with a different schedule. It was like a normal check up but her Grandpa got diagnosed of Brain Tumour second stage.
As the age grows people have less time but what hurts the most is when they were given a reason to die.
She checked with different doctors but none said that without a chemo, something could be done and ultimately they were bound to do this.
All of her savings were used, but she cared less. As Shravan came to know about it, he flew back to Delhi, even his work was there but nothing was important to him than Nanu's health and Sumo's broken self. She used to be calm and composed in front of all but from inside she was dying because somewhat she knew that Nahu wouldn't make it.
Those dried tears, a fake smile, lost cheerfulness couldn't be noticed by anyone but Shravan and Pushkar, but what Shravan could see what she was going through, Pushkar couldn't.
It was one day when Nanu called her told her "Suman I am doing all this because of your promise. But you are ending all your savings on it when my dismiss is bound to happen. Please don't waste time and money on me." and she all went ballistic for the preposterous thought.
"Nanu, you don't understand, I have no one after Mom and Dad died except you. Mamaji and Mamiji are there though but you know that after paying them up what all Mom and Dad borrowed, there would be no need of me in that house. Sad and hurtful but true." She said as tear left her eyes and continued -
"Nanu ,please try to make it. It's money , we spent and will get it back sooner or later."
But then suddenly Nanu's took a heavy breathing making Suman hyperventilating.
"Shravan please take me in back to the room, don't make me leave. Nanu needs me. I need him"
She cried and said the last words in mere whisper as he held her from shoulders and took her out of the hospital room, cocooning her in his arms.
"Stop crying first." He said clearing her tears.
"Nanu needs assistance, please be calm." and she looked at him with all trust and nodded and they settled down on the benches and she kept her head on his shoulder.
And then doctors came and told that he was out of danger for now but they couldn't say anything because such episodes have had become frequent.
"Sumo?"
"Yeah?"
"Nanu needs peace, he deserves to have a good peaceful view in heaven." Suman looked at him and was about to snap.
"People come and go but what we need to understand that if the person isn't doing it because he/she wants to live but because someone is asking them to, that will hurt him more. Those machines hurts more than what the tumor is doing to him. Maybe with tumor on, we could have a great and happy time together and last memories rather than these horrible days in hospital and him counting the days he will be going to live until he dies rather than making beautiful memories. Tell him to let it go but make it till time comes."
She looked at him with a positive and a look of realization, -
"I'll be always with you, promise." he said as two fat tears left her eyes.
He hugged her sideways as both kept sitting in the serenity of each other's arms.
And she asked him to let go and Nanu died within the the week, which caused a huge blow in her life but what didn't leave her was Shravan and his promise.
PRESENT DAY
She remembered that she was in a depressed state for about four months, isolating herself in work and even Shravan left to London to settle few things. All that was helping her was the Tiffin Service and people out there.
Nanu left all his money and saving for Suman and the house for others. Grandpa clearly told her before dying "Suman, the things I am giving you away, first thing you should do is pay the loan amount, all what we spend in the chemotherapy and the medicines, with all what money they borrowed from you - sums up the amount." and that was what she did.
Suman cleared her eyes as she realized the hurtful memories are back as well. And as she realized the time, she left for the restaurant.
_____________________________________
Much as he left it when he went from us
Here was the room again where he had been
So long that something oh him should be seen,
Or felt-and so it was. Incredulous,
I turned about, loath to be greeted thus,
And there he was in his old chair, serene
As ever, and as laconic as lean
As when he lived, and as cadaverous.
Calm as he was of old when we were young,
He sat there gazing at the pallid flame
Before him. 'And how far will this go on?'
I thought. He felt the failure of my tongue,
And smiled: 'I was not here until you came;
And I shall not be here when you are gone.'
_______________________
Chapter 3
love and friendship
'love and friendship' by emily bronte
i am keeping the length of the chapters short because it is way too hard to sum up all the emotions in one go. it is way to overwhelming.
______________________________
"Shravan?" She asked him with all confusion.
"Yes, tickets to Boston, USA. Apparently Grandpa had decided it long time back. So now you are moving there with some of your workers if they want to go. I have a whole planning for it and we will discuss it their." He said holding her from shoulders.
PRESENT DAY
"And now I am here with a restaurant of my own." Suman breathed in. After she moved here Shravan told her the plan and then she started the Tiffin service from home and when the work used to get over, used to do a part time Job and right before 6 months from now had opened a restaurant branch.
"Mam, Shravan Sir had come to meet you." a worker said.
She quickly went down to see a devastated Shravan. She quickly move to him and brought him in her room.
"Shravan? What happen?" She asked cupping his face and what he did was unexpected, he hid his face in her crook of neck. She caressed her back softly. It was a moment of seconds, when two people needed each other. And then she felt wetness on her t-shirt and realized Shravan was crying and soon that silent cries turned to light sobs which made her heart wrenched.
She took his face her hand and cleared her tears with her thumbs.
"What happened Shravan?" She asked and she got to see more of his wetness and she pulled him in her arms. She didn't stop him from crying, nor did say something in a sympathetic way. All she did was let him cry and take out his feeling, went out what he had been facing which made him cry.
She hated to see him cry, after all what a family she have now, is him. She pulled him out of the hug and both looked deep in each other's eyes.
He felt soothed in his arms, in the warmth of her presence. He didn't feel sad or angry on himself to let her see his vulnerable state nor did he feel ashamed to cry in front of a girl or anyone else. She had been his solace and a place to get comfort.
"What happened Shravan?" She asked caressing his head.
"My friend, best friends since, I had shifted to New York just died and I am alone again living on my own." He let the tears flow.
"You have me, your Sumo, Shravan. You are no loner." and she consoled him as a mother do to her child.
The atmosphere suddenly set on fire. They felt the air and emotions heating up and got out of the hug and came closer.
They were minutes apart from relishing and feeling each other when a worker called Suman making her gasp.
"Actually-" He hesitated to say.
"You can stay here for tonight, you and I promised to be with each other during thick and thin, so promise is promise." She smiled at him.
And both lay on the bed with a line of pillow in between.
They were so perpetually alarmed with the apprehension of the happening, and the moment which could've turned into something which they didn't want. They could neither sleep quietly in the bed.
This went on for days as Shravan was working from Boston and in emergency used to go to NY since it was a small drive of couple of hours.
They had been busy in work and hadn't got much time to spend since ages like now. They didn't have any relish for the common pleasured and amusements of life.
Work kept them busy even being at the same place, when they met, they meet as an acquaintance in the morning, and as usual, like they had been doing from past years calling in the morning the first question was about the sun's health, how he looked at his setting and rising and they had been doing the same at present.
Apparently, those months when he was gone back to London after Nanu's death, he was setting up things in New York, shifting from here to there. Except him no one was closer to her and he couldn't had just left her and he was planning initially to move to New York which was couple of hours drive away from Boston, so they didn't have a lot of problem.
"It's enough, why are we ignoring each other like crazy?"
"Uh-, I forgot?" He shrugged at her.
She pointed out at him "Exactly, Me too forgot."
And then both started laughing at happening.
"So want to have some fun?"
"Like?"
"Going to have rides!" He smiled at her while having his hands in his pocket.
"What kind of rides?"
"Swings, at the park!" she smiled to it and they quickly went to the park.
"Shravan come on, let's make it higher!" and they both laughed and shouted as the swing, swinged higher.
They laughed and remembered their childhood days without any tension, carefree. It was ethereal sight for anyone who knows them to see the two best friends together.
She smiled passed their moment and locked her hands in his as they both swayed in aura of summer spring flowers and blowing wind.
Both of them sat in their bikes and rode it to no way. They loved it like that, togetherness with no ends. They drove their bike to the country end until the sun faded away. It was dark yet safe, for both of them.
Shravan laughed as they drive back to her house and his mind drove him to their last time when they paddled bikes together.
15 YEARS BACK
"Shravan, I don't want to drive it. It is scary and what if I fall?"
"Sumo, you won't. And we learn only after falling."
And soon he took her to the nearby park, she learnt how to ride them somehow, anyhow by falling and standing. Soon she started enjoying riding the bike as they paddled it fast.
Soon her bike got unbalanced only to get her fall on the hard ground with a thud.
"Ouch!" She hissed as he got up from his bike in jiffy as he yelled - "Suman."
And using his first aid skills, got the scraped knee to cure as she cried and he soothed her with endless sweet like nothing.
PRESENT
"What are you thinking? About me?" She smirked.
"Na, that would be a waste of time. I was thinking about my fifteen year old crying best friend."
"Shravan, that was embarrassing. Don't talk about that."
She stood up as saw her friend coming by and went to her room realizing that he would do anything to embarrass her in front of her friends. That was his forte in being cheerful always. She sighed and muttered -
"Jerk."
_________________________
Love is like the wild rose-briar,
Friendship like the holly-tree
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms
But which will bloom most constantly?
The wild-rose briar is sweet in the spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again
And who will call the wild-briar fair?
Then scorn the silly rose-wreath now
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That when December blights thy brow
He may still leave thy garland green.
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
