Why Stepmom = Evil Mom-- Check page 3/4!! - Page 2

Originally posted by: crosby87

it could be because the child isn't her own... and obviously the reminder of a past relationship... but i think its more of a fact that the mom hasn't been able to accept the child as her own... if the step mom has her own child its worse, cuz they would favor their own child... but its not always the case.. i mean in SS, Alaknanda accepts the child of her husband and his affair... so you cant really "label" a step mom as evil... cuz yea they are portrayed that way in these serials, and fairy tales... but they are normal women ... like any of us... would we do that??????? it basically depends on the type of women the husband marries, if shes a good human being or not ... i dont like labeling that "step moms" are evil when in fact your own biological parents can be jerks, ... its all about what type of person they are, not the fact that they are a step mom. if shes not a good person, clearly she will find faults in others... and hate on the daughter/son ...w/e

ruby you have a very good point here...if the woman is good by nature, she has a pure heart and she really cares for her husband she will never bring any harm to the child but she will see the child as her own

very good point of view 😳

Originally posted by: nishtha

should i tell you something Sha..step mom=evil mom only in India while in abroad there is no such thing exists we have certain mindset..which we dont want to change..we've certain image where Stepmom..is a synonym of evill cruel..bad and what not.. 😕

and we dont supppor those shows where ppl tried to change that concept ..where in west thr is no such thing exist your own mom could be cruel while you step mom could be better than you own mom..so

we are just..like a train..we follow engine without thinking or using our brain..doesnt matter whether bridge ahead is broken all boggies will still follow engine.. 😆

btw did i make any sense 😆 😆 😆

oooh yes u do make sense 😛

nish even i think we are too narrow minded on this topic...we follow the principles of our ancestors....what can we do its our culture..values traditions and perceptions are carried over from generation to generation....and even the people who moved from india....like my grandparents...they took this mindset with them and even now in the 21st century stepmons always get a negative stigmata in our culture. and it is not only a problem in indian way of thinking....look at snow white, cinderella or some english movies also present the stepmom as evil.....why does she need to be evil by definition?

i agree now things are turning around and especially if you watch crime serials you will see that parents sometimes can be way more evil than step dad or step moms ....but it is so deeply established in our minds....as soon as the word stepmom fall...the word evil/negative follows automatically

i think ruby has a good point.....it is not the stepmom in general who is negative but the woman. her nature, behavior, ethics, principles, values and traditions decide wether she becomes a loving stepmom or a negative one

Originally posted by: Shariefah

yes i do understand what you are trying to say. but in front of the husband she never declares her true feelings. she acts like a perfect mom right? so how will the husband ever know she is feeling ignored or left out....and if the husband places the stepmom as second....what cause has the child in this.

i think the reason must lie here some where. the child is daddy's little girl. and her dad loves her immensly. even if he doesnt know how to show that. is it this love the father feels for her daughter, is this what the stepmom is jealous of?

i think you're right here ... i think jealousy is the root cause of the "evil stepmother" theory

sorry i'm editing this quote to make my post shorter😳

Originally posted by: Shariefah

it is not only a problem in indian way of thinking....look at snow white, cinderella or some english movies also present the stepmom as evil.....why does she need to be evil by definition?

i agree now things are turning around and especially if you watch crime serials you will see that parents sometimes can be way more evil than step dad or step moms ....but it is so deeply established in our minds....as soon as the word stepmom fall...the word evil/negative follows automatically

i think ruby has a good point.....it is not the stepmom in general who is negative but the woman. her nature, behavior, ethics, principles, values and traditions decide wether she becomes a loving stepmom or a negative one

okay ... sorry if this is confusing cause my view are not discussed in order of their presentation above but try to follow the colour scheme 😆

i agree completely ... it is not just an indian thing ... the most famous stepmom world wide is probably cinderella's stepmom ... and if you look at different cultures you'll see the "evil stepmom" story everywhere .... while the indian culture has kekai in the ramayan ... the greek religion has hera (zeus's wife; queen of the gods) ... egyptian culture also has many tales of evil stepmothers to the pharohs ... and you'll find this eveywhere ... and this has to do with ...

the fact that these stories get passed down to teach lessons ... unfotunately they were probably modelled after the most extreme cases of stepmoms or became quite extreme overtime (you know like the game telephone ... by the time the story gets from the first person to the last it has reached the moon😆) ...

and this is prompting writers to now re-direct the view of the stepmom

okay i hope that made sense😆

Originally posted by: Shariefah

thank you😳 ... yeah i'm a big fan of hercules too and i've taken a general greek mythology class so when i think of evil stepmother hera is one of the first names the pops to mind😆 ... but again her evilness was due to her jealous nature ... she couldn't stand the fact that zeus was interested in soooooooo many women other than her😕😆

(btw all of you can call me tasha)

Originally posted by: NaVy1985

hi tasha 😊

aauww ur hercules fan hehehe....i luved it....too bad it stopped....did u watch Xena too 😆

hhmm i think jealousy is one of the key factors that drive stepmoms to madness 😉

luv

sha

Originally posted by: Shariefah

yup i watched xena too 😆😆😆 .... and actually if you think about it ...... jealousy can drive anyone to madness .... it is not just restricted to stepmothers

real mother - jealous of attention son gives wife over her ... can end up doing typical "saas" type things even though they might hurt her son in the process...

siblings - sibling rivalry .... i think that says it all for this type of jealousy😆 ....

real fathers - jealous that they're daughters will not be dependent on them anymore .... hence they disapprove of certain guys that may steer their daughters away from being dependent on them ....

and the sad part is that this jealousy is often a result of a mountain being made out of a molehill😕😆

Originally posted by: TASHA

yup i watched xena too 😆😆😆 .... and actually if you think about it ...... jealousy can drive anyone to madness .... it is not just restricted to stepmothers

are mat bol yaar.....i am very jealoused person by nature....not evil jealous...just healthy type of jealousy...😆

aaaauwww ur xena fan too......did you like her black outfit...my oooh my...kya outfit tha na.....😛

real mother - jealous of attention son gives wife over her ... can end up doing typical "saas" type things even though they might hurt her son in the process...

are hhunn look at the shows on Zee television na yaar......😛...sab mein ek jealous saas ya maa milega 😆

siblings - sibling rivalry .... i think that says it all for this type of jealousy😆 ....

real fathers - jealous that they're daughters will not be dependent on them anymore .... hence they disapprove of certain guys that may steer their daughters away from being dependent on them ....

are ur describing my dad yaar.....i am 22 yrs and still i need permission for every little thing 😕

and the sad part is that this jealousy is often a result of a mountain being made out of a molehill😕😆

ok i have a serious question....how long did it take you to come it with this jealousy-mom-dad analysis.....its amazing yaar.....and look the way you analysed it......from this it is clear that we all deal with jealousy and not only stepmoms are jealous.....kya analysis hai

hhmmm i wanna have my next discussion on this topic: are u jealous sometimes and is ur jealousy healthy 😛

i will start

hhmm i am jealous to see a girl with nice long shiney hair as i have very dry plushy hear

i am jealous to see a guys walking hand in hand with his girlfriend, because it makes me feel lonely because there is nobody who is holding my hand

i am jealous to see that my mom is treating my sis different from when i was about her age.....my mom says times have changed so now she my sis is allowed to do things i wasnt allowed to do when i was 16

i am jealous if someone has a better grade for their assignment or exam than me

well these are some aspects of jealousy from my life....but i dont think its negative jealousy...its just healthy right?

i think it is ok te bo jealous to a certain extent it keeps you motivated to get what you are jealous of ...so in my case to get a boyfriend so i will not be lonely😛 and to study harder so i will have highest grade 😛

ok tasha ur next.....😆

Originally posted by: Shariefah

ok i have a serious question....how long did it take you to come it with this jealousy-mom-dad analysis.....its amazing yaar.....and look the way you analysed it......from this it is clear that we all deal with jealousy and not only stepmoms are jealous.....kya analysis hai [/Quote]

😆 ... actually it didn't take very long at all .... i just wrote what came to mind first ... and that is because i agree with the text in blue (get ready for another colour coded post😆)

okay i agree with you completely .... jealousy is a part of human nature (within a limit of course) ... hayee😆 we both get jealous over similar things😆

i can't say that i get jealous as you do with your sister but that is because i'm an only child ....

but then again .... my being an only child has meant that i have this need to be the centre of attention at all time ... and i like things done my way and when i was younger i would get very jealous when they were not .... but i'm glad that this jealousy is momentary and that i've grown out of it a little and am able to better accept that other people should be allowed to have input/decision making power as well .... and whatever jealousy i have now drives me to make myself better (not necessarily in comparison but better just in general .... like the grades thing ... even if i can't beat the other person ... i should come really close and i should always be getting better than my previous grades, etc...)

so considering that i've changed a little .. i also have a question that we can add on to the discussion .... to what extent can a person learn to control their jealous streak?