Suffocated

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berrysweet

@berrysweet

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

Thats how I feel -----tortured and suffocated. Suppose Urmi feels suffocated too.

Its beginning to be hard to watch this serial. It goes on and on and on with hopelessness.

Its nauseating to see such a mother in law. Frustrating to see a weak mother. Impossible to see a father in law who has no control over his family. Disappointing to see a brother who would not stand up tall enough for his sister. And the sister, sister in law and her husband are terrible --- for they have seen Urmis condition time and time again and yet tell her to stay back!

And then we have the disasters who are so called humans -- her father and husband. Samrat is a wash out . BUT the father--- his attitude is PAINFUL to watch.

I read so many times, in this forum that this is how it is in India. Point is, in real life we cant control the situation... but here in reel life , the writers can show us a little hope , a little kindness, or just anyone who will hug her. I am hoping I will see this next week---- if not , I will stay suffocated.

We need to see the Father realising his mistake. We need to see Samrat down at his knees. AND we need to see Urmi NOT needing them... or we will stay suffocated.

So CVs , unless you want to see a fandom that is choking to death...please stop dragging along on Urmis growth and independence.

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JAHHNAVI

@JAHHNAVI

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

I kinda agree but disagree at the same time 😛
First off, I understand this is a fictional show (or it maybe based on someone's real life) but this is THEIR story not ours. So "I" don't have to feel miserable or torture myself or suffocate or choke my self to death to feel a connection with Urmi. Why should I? I choose to step away from misery. If a person, a thing, a show or a situation starts to affect me in this way, where I feel trapped, I STEP AWAY. Call me mean or whatever but I love myself first & although I sympathize with their pain but I can't see myself 'suffocating'. I am not going to suggest you anything since I am not here to preach. I m only trying to share what I'd do if I felt like what you are feeling right now.

Also, the story is absolutely fine IMHO. Everywhere else, it's shown how the woman goes through endless tortures and then a measly sorry from the man does the trick & VOILA.. Happy ending! They fall in love.. Blah blah.. It doesn't happen in real world & I am glad the creatives are NOT putting a mask on this disgusting truth which other channels/ shows are shamelessly flaunting. Why try to hide & bury the garbage of patriarchal Indian society? It will stink more. It STINKS already!! Whatever we read in newspapers or see in the neighborhood or see it happening at our homes can't be swept under the rug. I don't think this show is aiming to show a happy couple. And why should we demand everything to be 'happy' when none of it happens in real life? If they have to show 1 million eye locks & everything hunky-dory between Urmi & Samrat then majority of the forum audience would definitely choke or simply choose to leave 😆

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Suffocated - that's how I feel seeing some very beloved women fighting domestic abuse everyday.

Being told that one woman has a decent marriage because even if her husband cheats on her and her in-laws are downright sadistic - at least he doesn't beat her up.

Then again another woman has a decent marriage because so what if her husband beats her now and then at least he is loyal.

Then there is this third woman - who also has a very decent marriage - because though her husband cheats on her and has gambled away all her savings and jewelry both he and his family treat the woman with a lot of respect.

And finally there is another woman - whose husband cheats on her but he is a very good provider, respects her family and even takes all of them to international holidays thrice a year - he just happens to have a second family.

The problem with this scenario and all the by-plays that we see day in and day out is that we encourage women to be financially and socially dependent on the men. It is important to have the tag of a man in your life - it's immaterial how pathetic he is so long as the creature is born with the equipment.

As long as we see women leading the life of second-class citizens nothing is going to change. It's not going to help if women look to friends, families, NGOs to take the place of the "Husband as Provider" in their lives. So long as women don't learn to be self-sufficient this suffocation is their lot in life - be it reel or real.

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Siddu246

@Siddu246

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

I understand how you feel and that's why I sometimes don't even watch the episodes. But we have to understand this is what happens in real life and it should not be covered up by the fake stuff shown on tv. I think that's the whole point to this show. At the end everyone will only think of themselves and will not understand the pain of the women that go through this. And it is only up to Urmi to start ONLY depending, believing, supporting on herself only. Her family, in-laws, friends everyone will be useless in all this and the only one who can protect herself is herself. I am glad they are showing the father a total ass because this is how it is and in real life probably even worse. Hell they even sell their daughters for money and Urmi's father looks like one that would. But yea I hope at the end it leans more toward Urmi doing this on her own then depending on anyone's help because I feel that's the best way to fight all this.

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urvash

@urvash

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

It is the same in SA...a woman has no support...that is why woman go back to constant abuse... it does not matter what race you are...

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berrysweet

@berrysweet

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@ JAHHNAVI... you seem to have got me all wrong.

I never said that I like to watch a show with many, many eyelocks. My goodness, no where in ,my post have I said that I want to see them as a happy couple. Please read before you reply.

I have just said that it is too painful to see her suffer so much without any support. And I have said that since it is reel , we should at least be shown some kind of support for Urmi. After all ,many people learn only when they are shown the right way. They could show a little bit of kindness here and there.

And that was all that I was saying. Nothing else. I too want , Urmi to live an independent life... At the same time I want to see Sam and her father loosing out big time. And then, I will not feel suffocated as I would be able to see the hand of God.

It was good of you to reply. Thank you

Edited by berrysweet - 11 years ago

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berrysweet

@berrysweet

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@ Purva... I read you time and time again. And agree readily everytime. I too work with the abused... not women but children (Not all the time, Only if I am called in) I think you feel for them . Thats wonderful

Edited by berrysweet - 11 years ago

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berrysweet

@berrysweet

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@ urvash... It happens in my country too. I come from a multi racial country. We have Indians, Chinese, Malays as majority. Abuse from husbands exist in every race. But lack of family support is very rare. The family tend to look after their children. Thats given. I very, very rarely meet a women abused who cannot go back home. So for me the dad of Urmi should be whipped!

Thank you

Edited by berrysweet - 11 years ago

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berrysweet

@berrysweet

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@ siddu246... Yeah , I know what you mean . You have drawn a miserable picture with your words. But the picture you have drawn is never more true.

Totally agree. She has to stand on her own,since the support around her is pretty weak. Her brother and mother have come around. (i just saw Fridays episode) lets hope their support is strong and steady.

Thanks for replying.

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Hillylove

@Hillylove

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

I think as long as the show is not falsifying a culture or making a mockery of the culture, nothing is wrong with writing the reality of life.

The writer is portraying the reality of a lot of abused married women, and I think we should respect that and not try to dictate how the writer should portray the truth. There are Urmis and Samrats according to the story in the Indian culture, and even people of other cultures can relate too. So I think this is a good show. They have done a great job with such a serious topic than some cvs have done with the typical love serial.

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