Giving out wrong message

ritwikad thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#1
The show is seriously giving out a wrong message. Okay I agree love changes people and it is the best medicine but when you are dealing with a subject as sensitive as domestic violence you have to be mature. Basically what is being shown is however abusive your husband is love can change him. So if you are a battered wife, if you husband gets drunk and beats you black and blue every night, you can send him to jail for one night and then stand up for him, get him bailed out thinking he has realised his mistake and if he again threatens you, just leave everything on fate and do his seva unconditionally... And one fine morning you will see his love for you overflowing... So just keep taking everything silently and that may someday give you a happy family and prove all the stupid conventions about a woman never leaving her in-laws correct... Ridiculous!!! Seriously didn't expect this. Why so keen on romance? Don't we have enough heroes and heroines on Zee to romance?? If they had to show romance , then why did they have to show such violence ? It is doing nothing else than giving a wrong message to thousands of families across India, many of whom still have orthodox views about women.

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neel_jay thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Totally agree. Infact, I even wrote to Zee TV telling them how I feel. In my humble opinion, this is the crappiest and the most irresponsible show I have come across on International Television! Total and utter BS!!
HappySmiles thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 11 years ago
#3
I don't care WHAT they show in this serial BUT in real life it is VERY rare for a guy to change so drastically. While Love can change things, I believe that in real life such things like love doesn't change people like Samrat. It seems very illogical and especially in such a short span of time, Samrat changes?? Hmm..
skar1984 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
Thank you so much topic maker for making this thread.
You have echoed my sentiments perfectly.

I truly feel the CVs of this show have lost all direction as to what they want to do with the story line. Since they are depicting a story around domestic violence - why is it being glossed over?

This show had so much potential - it could have served as a path breaking show that delves into the intricacies of an abused woman and her journey - getting into an abusive marriage with rose tinted glasses - living in denial - being hopeful that one day he'll value her and then the harsh realization that this is her reality and it is now her choice to quietly suffer or strike back and carve her own path and break all the stereotypes and societal norms.

That would have been such an empowering story which could have been inspirational for countless women around the world who lead such lifestyles - break myths that there is nothing wrong with wanting a safe, peaceful living - they should not feel like they have done anything to deserve this infact they deserve so much more and better. Break myths that women can't choose to walk out of an abusive marriage, bring to the forefront that there is nothing wrong in wanting justice for yourself.

What we are seeing today - abusive Samrat (who cheats on his wife, has no value or respect for her) had one night in jail which did nothing then had an accident and now suddenly he's discovering feelings for his wife. Seriously!? This is totally the wrong message - abusive spouses DO NOT change over night like this - in any case Samrat is only doing this because it hurts his ego that his wife doesn't care for him anymore. This is indirectly propagating domestic abuse - if every victim were to watch this and think - well maybe if i gave it more time he'll change - they'd stay in that abusive relationship and never really find a way out and endure the constant trauma and violence.

CVs please listen to your viewers and show Urmi's journey and her personal growth and development - she's so vocal and brave outside of the home - why can't she apply that to her own life? She's stood by the truth and justice outside the home whenever she could - why back down for herself?! That would be a journey worth watching - none of this Samrat spending big bucks planning a surprise party and glossing over how he beat her black and blue not too long ago.

This show shouldn't be focusing on Samrat and his feelings towards Urmi - it should be focused on the treatment Urmi gets and how she faces reality and makes a choice for herself and sticks to the path she picks for herself - regardless of what family/society has to say. Frankly speaking when Urmi was beaten so brutally - no one came to her rescue nor did anyone openly try to support her - Tauji's silent/behind closed doors method of supporting Urmi irks me but that's a different conversation. Point being no one was really there for her physically of emotionally when she needed it the most - that was her battle and she faught it as best as she could - just wish they would show her gaining confidence and standing up more firmly as time goes on and ultimately leaving or staying - on her own terms. Not for society of her parents sake.
naina2010 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Well said. This show is total crap and sending out wrong message to all viewers.
luvbbat thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
So agree with everything that has been said here. I couldn't believe what I saw today. Completely disgusted that the Cvs are even trying to show romance and shoving the serious issue of domestic violence under the rug. I mean if they wanted to show romance then why did they even bring up this issue? The Cvs have not only lost their focus but they are going to loose majority of their audiences with this new nonsense! Thoroughly disappointed!
Edited by luvbbat - 11 years ago
meenoopul thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: ritwikad

The show is seriously giving out a wrong message. Okay I agree love changes people and it is the best medicine but when you are dealing with a subject as sensitive as domestic violence you have to be mature. Basically what is being shown is however abusive your husband is love can change him. So if you are a battered wife, if you husband gets drunk and beats you black and blue every night, you can send him to jail for one night and then stand up for him, get him bailed out thinking he has realised his mistake and if he again threatens you, just leave everything on fate and do his seva unconditionally... And one fine morning you will see his love for you overflowing... So just keep taking everything silently and that may someday give you a happy family and prove all the stupid conventions about a woman never leaving her in-laws correct... Ridiculous!!! Seriously didn't expect this. Why so keen on romance? Don't we have enough heroes and heroines on Zee to romance?? If they had to show romance , then why did they have to show such violence ? It is doing nothing else than giving a wrong message to thousands of families across India, many of whom still have orthodox views about women.

Totally agree-I think all the director is trying to do is redeem Samrat's character to move on with the track where the slime ball (Aditya's hubby) takes away all his possessions so that both him and Urmi are seen fighting together for their house etc...but in fact this is sending the wrong message to victims of domestic violence who often hold on thinking that there will be a positive change in the other person some day and end up being further brutalised and abused! Forgiving an abuser just opens the door for more abuse!
HamariAduriKahn thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Honestly speaking, when Samrat first slapped her, I was all for Urmi to stay at home or go live on her own if her family didnt agree. Along with the emotional and verbal abuse? That was the breaking point for me. But I kept watching, hoping that one day that courage that Urmi showed then would be back. But alas her parents forcing her to go back to her in-laws left her with no option. She couldn't keep coming back home because she knew her family would just send her back again. So she decided to suffer through. After all the abuse, I believe it's high time that Urmi proves herself and does what she feels like. I thought she would eventually emerge as a sucessful, working, single mom. Not all Indian shows NEED to have a lead. And they especially don't need to force it like they are now.

I'd rather see the end of the show that Urmi going back to be a doormat
ritwikad thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Thank you all for agreeing to my point. It really irks me to see some people in some forums desperate to see love evolving between the female lead and any other male character. Why shift focus from the topic of domestic violence which is one of the greatest problems in India ?
Samrat realizing everything would lead to Urmi's family claiming how correct they were in sending back Urmi to her in-laws, how correct they were in bailing him out and ruling out any divorce. So a woman should never leave her husband because love and service to him will change everything one day, till then just keep crying and endure everything stoically because you are just meant for that.
Moral of the story:- Domestic violence ghar ka mamla hai, ghar mein hi solution mil jayega pyar se.

But the real world is not so charming. Here abusive husbands do not change easily. So why not for a change try to change the thinking of such women who still try to put up with everything in this silly hope? Why did they have to bring Samrat out of the jail? Just because the lead cannot be a villain rotting in jail ? Just because he has to be lovey-dovey and romance his wife like in 10 other shows? Then please Zee do not dare to play around with such sensitive issues because all you all do is show your heroines as doormats who never try to earn an identity for herself.

savebookworm thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#10
instead of showing impractical things they should show how an abused wife can confidently leave an abusive husband and live her life independently. i have seen educated working women commit suicide because they do not have anyone to guide them.i hope a time will come when the makers of serials realise that it is not romantic to be beaten black and blue by the husband

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