Chapter 34
"Kabhi dil mein jhak kee dekhon to tum sahi
Bas rote nahin hain, warna gham yahan bhi kam nahin!"
Antara's POV
"Pappa aap ki bahut yaad aa rahi hain ajj. Pata nahin kyun?! Roj yaad karti hoon, par kabhi aisi feeling nahin ayi. Bahut kamzor mehesoos kar rahi hoon pappa!! Aur bahut akeli bhi. Mujhe pata hain pappa, zindagi ki jis rahon pee maine kadam baraya hain wahan mujhe akele hii chalna parega. Yahan mere sath dene wala koi nahin milega. Aur kya fayda pappa, joo rasta ant mein maut kee kuye mein jaa kar khatam hoti hain bhala wahan kaun chalna chahega. Sirf mere jaisa koi jisney apna sabkuch kho chukka hain, wahin aise raste pe chalna chahega.
Maut kaa dar mujhe nahin hain pappa! Kyunki ek maut hii hain joo mujhe aap se aur momma se mila sakta hain. Jisdin maut mere samne ayegi na pappa main khusi khusi uske sath chali jaungi. Jiss duniya mein aap log naa hoo wahan mujhe bhi nahin rahena hain pappa. Aap koo yaad hain pappa Rumi ki woo lines joo aap ki fav hain...
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about."
Sayad aap log bhi abb ussi maidan mein hongey naa pappa, bilkul angels ki tarah. Momma aur noor appa angels ke costume mein bahut pyari lagegi aur sundar bhi. Par aap kee barein mein nahin kahe sakti pappa. Kyun kii aap kii motu saa pet mein angels ki costume feat hogi yaa nahin yee mujhe bahut doubt hain!
Sorry pappa, aap koo bura laga kya?! Mazak kar rahi thi bas, jaisa hum humesha karte the. Bahut miss karte hain unn dino koo. Abb too bas yee pen aur paper hii hain jiske through hum aap logon see jurte hain. Hum uss maidan kaa rasta too nahin jaante jahan aap log hain, bahut dhoondnee ki koushis karte hain pappa par kahin pata nahin chalta. Par hum rasta dhhond lengey pappa, aur jisdin uss maidan kaa rasta humein pata chal gaya daur kee aa jayengey aap logon kee pass. Tab humein koi bhi rok nahin payega. Koi bhi nahin!!
Abb bas zindagi see aur kuch chah nahin hain pappa. Bas jate jate thori khusiyan samet lena chahte hain. Par woo bhi reth ke tarah hathon see pisal raha hain. Kitni bhi koushis kar loon pappa sab bhulake thori der hasne kee liye, par humesha bas akhon see asoon hi nikal atein hain pappa.
Woo larka fir se aaj subha mere samne aa gaya pappa. Bhagwan ki kya marzi hain pata nahin, kyun baar baar ussey mere samne khara kar deta hain. Unhe too pata hain ki humein kitna dard hota hain jab woo samne hota hain. Samhal nahin pate apne aap koo, aaj bhi nahin samhal paye!! Bina chahte huye bhi ro pare uss kee samne. Lekin pata hain pappa, ussey dekh kee lagta hain jaise ussey koi guilt hii nahin hain. Aise baat kar raha tha jaise main rone kii natak kar rahi hoon uskey saamne. Koi mayne nahin hain mere asoon kaa, mere gham kaa. Main hayran hoo jati hoon kabhi kabhi! Koi insaan itna pathar dil kaise hoo sakta hain?! Koi emotions nahin, koi guilt nahin... Kuch bhi nahin pappa... bas ek khokla heartless insaan...Main bhi too kitni koushis karti hoon pathardil ban ne ki, par mujhse kyun nahin hota pappa?! Khayar main bhi kyun ye sab soch rahi hoon, akhir Mumbai kee sab khatarnaak inssan see aur kya ummed ki ja sakti hain?!
Din kee suru mein bhi woo aur din ke akhir mein bhi woo mere samne aa jata hain kahin see bhi. Kabhi kabhi sochti hoon, yee ittefak hain yaa kuch aur, jaan boojh kee woo yee sab karta hain ya fir sach mein meri kismat mujhse baar baar joke kar raha hain! Woo mujhe apne sath khelnee kee liye kahe raha tha. Mujhe pata hii nahin chal raha tha ki uss pal main hasson yaa royun?! Kya jawab doon main ussey?! Khel too woo mere sath khel raha hain... sirf woo nahin... poori duniya.. meri kismat sab jaise mere sath khel raha hain, Maut Kaa Khel!!
Pata nahin pappa, itna sab kuch hone kee baad bhi main uss waqt kamzor par gayi!! Main kaamzor nahin parn chahti pappa. Uss ney mujhe ek naya naam diya.. Miss Kaul!'... Kyun pappa?!! Ussey kya haq hain mujhe naam dene kaa?! Yee naam mujhe abhi see hi kanton ki jaisa chubne laga hain pappa. Main kya karoon pappa?! Kaise samhaloon apne aap ko? Aap too yahan nahin hain pappa, kis kee kandhe pe sar rakh ke main royungi abb. Bahut man kar raha hain aap koo dekhnee ke liye. Ek baar mere sapne mein aa jaiyen naa pappa... Please!!..."
My hand stopped over the pages of diary abruptly as a water drop fell on the page and faded the ink. The source of the salty water drop was none other than my eyes. I couldn't move the pain anymore on the paper as my hand felt numb. My mind was totally blank of words. I shank my head on the diary closing my eyes and let my tears fell upon the pages as usual. At the middle of the night while the whole world was sleeping I was pouring my heart, my sadness out and keeping them hidden inside the page of my dear diary. I was not able to sleep again. The invisible hole of chest was increasing day by day.
I felt a bit relieved after some moment as my sadness filtered out a bit through my tears. Opening my lids I peered to the bed where rhea was sleeping soundly. The girl came to know my secret but still I couldn't involve her in the matter. I slowly lifted my head and again looked towards the pages and suddenly I noticed a thing which shook me hard. I kept staring at my own handwriting with wide eyes keeping my numb hand over the diary. I couldn't believe my own eyes that I really did that. Usually I used English accent while writing my diary but for the very first time I wrote a full page where most of the words were hindi accent!! With a flash I remembered about the night just some days ago.
"Haan par iskey baad jab bhi likhne kaa naa too hindi mein likhneka..." His words echoed in my mind driving another cold wave through my spine. My faded tears again overflowed thinking about his another small victory over me. Might be unconsciously but I obeyed him. How could I do that?! I rubbed my temple with both hands to tone down the head ache occurred due to frustration. I really couldn't believe myself. how could I do that?! I was about to tear out the page from my diary and threw that on the dustpan but my hand stopped. What I was going to do?! Those were not just the mere words but my heart's talk to pappa. How could I just made them a trash?! Just because of him?!! No!! my hatred for raghu could never overtake my love for pappa!! I would lose my remaining humanity then. I caressed on the pages and said in grieve voice, "Sorry pappa!". I heard the sound of wind chimes and looked towards the window. It was jittering madly in heavy wind. Seemed like a storm was about to hit. I slowly woke up from the desk holding my diary near my chest. I stood near the window and looked towards the sky. A dense black cloud had approached from nowhere and slowly covering the moon fading all the light from the world. The mad wind hit me and ruffled my hairs indicating the upcoming turbulence.
So the storm was about to hit!!
Raghu's POV
"Sorry kaise bolte hain?!! Bhai tuu subha subha mere koo idhar bulaya yee sawal poochne kee liye?!!" Machmach scratched his head and threw his most confusing glance towards me. Last night I was literally dragging out my hair thinking about various ways to say sorry to antara. But at the very time, nothing came out from my mind. it would be much easier if my told me to tackle shetty oar any of his rivals I would do those works in a blink. But saying sorry?!!.. I never did such kinds of stuff in my whole life. so in early morning I called machmach and told him to meet me in the garage.
"Haan.. yahich sawal poochne kaa tha?! Abb is mein itna sar kyun khucha rahi hain?! Jaldi see koi nuska nikal... woo angrezi mein bole too solition(solution)!!" I said with annoyed face looking towards MM's confused eyes. "Par bhai.. tere koo kya zarurat pari kissi koo sorry bolne kaa?! Tu bas apna hath payar chala de... Aur chutikiyon mee sar kaam hoo jayega!! Tere hath kaa ek punch khate hii sorry too kya... welcome, thank you, good bye sab ek sath hoo jayega!!" MM suggested with his proud grin. I looked towards his face blankly for a while. sometimes I really wanted to see what ounce of gobar was actually in his head. "S**a kis koo bulaya hain madad kee liye... iss sey too acha buntiya see pooch leta..." I huffed and said in irritation. "Arey bhai dekh, naraz mat hoo... Yaar apun kee dimag mein yee locha nahin ghus re la hain. Tere koo kissi see sorry bolna hain... Aur tu mere see poch raha hain..." MM's confused face turned me more confused. "Arey akhir chakkar kya hain bhai?!!" MM asked out loud at last. I sighed and composed myself looking towards his comical big eyes. "Arey woo... Problem yee hain kii... Larki kee sath hatha payi too nahin kar sakta... too kuch naya tarika apna naa parega." I said looking towards the balcony of givind uncle's house. The balcony was empty but looking towards the wet salwar's hanging from the rod made me sigh as I suddenly felt empty for no cause.
"Larki?!!!" MM looked at me like he was looking towards some alien from other planet, "Bhai.. Tu aur larki kaa chakkar?..." his brain again started to have his wild imagination. "Machmach..." I patted his back head quite harshly that he winced, "Hawaii ki tarah urna bandh kar aur apne dimag koo zameen pee laa..." MM nodded his head poorly rubbing his back head, "Abb khare khare mundi hilana bandh kar aur kuch idea bhi de de!!" I asked in annoyance. "Ummm..." MM twitched his lips as if likehe was thinking very hard, "Dekh bhai... larkion kee maam le mein apun dono kaa knowledge same to same hain. Mere koo bas munni aur sheela kaa pata hain aur tera too koi ata pata nahin hain mereko... " he said. He was really challenging my tolerance level. "Eee, bakwas bandh kar!! Dekh machmach tere koo sach mein koi idea dena hain too jaldi bol. Warna apun chala. Mai nee wakeel see milne koo kahan hain.. Udhar bhi jane kaa hain..." I said huffing in more annoyance. "Arey bhai bata taa hoon naa... Dekh larkiyon kaa baat atta hain too desh kaa prime minister bhi ulajh hata hain.. Aur humto thehere nalayak... Mera matlab kii sirf main..." MM changed his words quickly when he saw my cold glare. "Arey apun kaa matlab, ek larki koo bas ek larki hi samajh sakti hain... Too iss mamle mein humein bhi ek larki ki hi madad leni chahiye." MM said somehow but his ides seemed convincing. "Hmm... yee too sahi kahan tune... par abb kiss sey pooche?!! Mai?!!... Nahin... une too time hii nahin milta ajkaal... Ajji?!!...Unke ideas sun kee too apun hii khud confuse hoo jayega...Too?!!" I blabbered unconsciously where MM kept staring at me with a look like I had gone mad. "Ruksana?!!!" suddenly he said out loud. "Kya?!! Ruksana?!!" I quickly glanced towards him. "Arey haan bhai woo dekh ruksana... sayad parlor mein jaa rahi hain." MM indicated towards the road and I noticed her passing by. "Eee ruksana..." I called out to her. Ruku looked towards us and grinned.
"Kya baat hain... Aaaj janab nee khud ane kii dawat di.." ruku said in her usual dramatic mode. "waisey sorry haan... aaj mere pass antara ki cookie nahin hain.. kaal raat ko maine sab kha liya." She announced. "Abey cookie kii baat chor... apun logo koo teri madad chahiye.." I asked her quickly. "Mujhsey?!!" ruku;s eyes widened, "Arey waah ruksana begum aaj too lottery lag gayi... Bolo bolo.. kaisi madad chahiye?!" Ruku madam said in excitement. I was about to say but felt hesitant al of a sudden, as if like I parted my lips but some invisible hand made my mouth shut. I stood there silent scratching my head. "Arey mia kya huya?!! Batao kya madad chahiye?!" Ruku asked again. "Ee machmach tu batanaa..." I told her to say ruksana as I was really feeling odd all of a sudden. It was a little kind of embarrassment feeling. But why all of a sudden I felt that?!
"Bhai.. tera problem hain... Tu hi bata..." Machmach shrugged. "Eee tere koo fir see maar khana hain?" I lifted my hand again. "Arey bhai ruk.. bata taa hoon.." MM flinched away an inch quickly. "Offoo.. Koi mujhe batayega bhi ki baat kya hain?!" Ruku was impatient. "Arey woo.. baat yee hain ki bhai koo ek larki se sorry bolne kaa hain... too teri madad mangata hain apun logon koo." MM said at last. "KYA LARKI?!!!" ruku almost jumped holding her chicks. Her eyes were gleaming like a little girl. "Raghu mia... Aaap aur larki.. Aap kii yee promotion kab huyi?!...OMG!! mujhe too yakeen nahin ho raha hain!!" she started her nonstop bakbak express again. "Areey ruksana... thamba thamba... itni uchlegi too koi kangaroo bhaga kee lee jayega shadi kee liye!!" MM said trying to control her. "Uff!!!.." she at last stopped and took a deep breath. "waisey raghu mia, kaun hain woo badnaseeb jinpe aap kii nazar pari!! Bechari pak jayegi tumhari saru sii sakal dekh kee roz roz!!" Ruku teased. "Tujhe kya?! Aur waisey bhi bas sorry kahene kaa hain.. aur kuch nahin.. samjhi?!!" I said in a bit loud tone. "Hayee yee gussa, yee bechaini, lagta hain janab kee dil kaa haal kuch thik nahin hain aaj kaal..." she didn't seem to stop soon. "Dekh ruksana, tere koo apun kii madad karni hain yaa nahin.. Warna apun chala..." I said in irritation and about to leave then ruku stopped me. "Arey rukiye rukiye janab. Mazak bhi nahin samjahte kya?!!" she said passing her naughty smile. I sighed and looked away in annoyance. "Janab, larkiyon se sorry bolna too bahut hii asan hain. Bas samne jaiye, apna dil khol kee ussey sorry bol dijiye.. Larki khus, aap bhi khus." Ruku said. I remembered the moment in temple yesterday and chuckled. "Arey aisey nahin chalega yaar.. apun pahele hii yee nuska try kar chukka hain.. par kaam nahin kiya." I said. "Ohh acha... Umm..." she thought for a while keeping her finger on jaw, "Too ek kaam karo.. agli bara jab sorry bolne jaon too sath mein ek fool bhi lete jana... yee nuska too zaroor kaam karega." Ruku said confidently. "Fool?!! Abhi fool deke fool bana nee kaa kya?!" I asked in confusion. "Offo.. ajji sahi kahete hain.. Yede hoo ekdum.. arey larkion koo fool kyun diya jata hain... iss liye kii fool dene kee stah larka ek promise bhi karta hain.. ki uss key zindagi mein woo foolon kaa rang aur khoosboo bhar dega.." ruku said with a huge grin and again my heart thudded for some unknown reason. I quickly shoved away my awkwardness and said, "Par mere koo too pata nahin kii ussey kaunsa fool pasand hain!!" I said in more confusion. "Hey allah!! Iss koo thodi di akal de doo.. arey yee bhi koi pata naa hone wali baat hain.." ruku said striking her head. "Eee ruksana... Tu too larki hain. Tu kuch option de naa ki bhai kaun saa fool lee kee ayein?!!" MM asked from side. "Hmm... jyadatar karkion ko roses pasadn hoti hain. Too roses hi try karo..." She said. At that moment I got a brilliant idea to know about antara's fav flowers. "Eee ruksana.. dekh yee rose bara purana hoo gaya hain. Kuch aur option de naa... Jaise tujhe kya pasand hain.. teri sahelion koo kya pasand hain... aur apun koobhi idea mil jayega." I proposed. "Hmm... merik saheli, woo beautiparlor mein too hain minakhseee, jyoti... Minakhsee koo too rose pasand hain... Jyoti koo mungra (jasmine), humare kaam wali bai santa ussey genda pasand hain... fir..."And her talk continued with her all friends and didn't stop until I interrupted getting irritated. "Arey thamba thamba... puri basti kii khabar dene ko nahin kaha tha... bas teri kuch karibi dost aur sahelio koo barein mein poocha... jaise kii woo...teri nayi saheli hain naaa.. Antara!!!" I somehow said with stumbled voice and looked towards him with a fishy expression. "Antara koo?!!..." a huge smile appeared on her face as she mentioned her name, "Usski pasand too sab sey anikha hain... aur best bhi... tum logon nee tulip fool kaa naam too suna hii hoga.. wohi jiska bahut bara garden hain kashmir mein... Wohi hain antara kaa fav flower, Tulip." Ruku at last said which I wanted to know. "Hmm... par abb s**a idhar Mumbai mein tulip kidhar koo milega.." I said in low voice but ruku got that, "Arey tulip nahin milta too koi aur flower dhoond loo.. waisey tumhe anatra koo thori hi naa fool dena hain..." she said and I looked away huffing. "waisey pata hain... antara kya kaheti hain.. bahut pyari batein karti hain larki... kahe rahi thi kii agar tum chahe kitni bhi bari galti kyun naa kar loo... agar tum ek tulip fool de ke kissi see mafi mango naa too tumhari sari galti maaf!! Kyun ki uskaa maan naa hain ki Tulip flower asalmein angels hote hain, Joo flowers ban kee dharti mein ate hain... Angels joo ki sare dukh dard door kar dete hain. Too woo fool gift karne see aap kissi kee zindagi see sari dukh dard door karne kii wadha dete hoo. Hain naa kamal ki soch?!!" as ruku was saying those words I was listening to every words silently. As she finished the words I sighed a huge and again looked towards the balcony. Her salwar suit was waving in wind. "Machmach... Tu ek kam kar.. mere badle tu wakeel see mil kee aa.." I ordered him. "Kya?! Too tu kya karega..." MM asked in confusion. "Mere ko kuch kaam yaad aa gaya... chalta hoon..." without wasting my time I headed towards the jeep tossing the key.
Edited by BabyHimavari - 9 years ago
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Arjun
Cricket
