(EPISODE 74 on Pg 146)Do Dil Ek Jaan ..ek baar phir - Page 61

Episode 42

One servant came inside antara's room and kept the covered plate of food on the table. "Bhai ne kaha aap ka khana upar pauchaneko.." thee servant said and moved outside. Antara just looked towards the plate with blank eyes. She didn't feel like eating. She knew that it wouldn't get digest in her.

"Apun tera sath nahin chorega miss kaul. tu chaahe yaa na chahe..." his voice flashed in her mind and she suddenly felt like crying. What just she said to him!! god how could she be so pathetic?! She could make him understand the fact with cool head but instead of that she again screamed on him. she saw his eyes when he was leaving the room. He was hurt very deeply and badly. Would he ever be able to forgive her? how could she make out everything between them. she was feeling hell restless and ashamed.

"muje uss see aise baat nahi karni chiye thi..vo naraj ho gya..." Antara sighed as her mind said those words. "usne humesha meri help ki. Aaj woo nahin hota too main aur meri family kabhi daya mai ke hatho se nahin bach pate.. aur main ussey aise lar rahi hoon?! Maine ussey ek thank you bhi nahin kahan.. god yee mujhse kya ho gaya!!!" she thought worriedly. She saw her eyesight becoming blur. She touched her chicks and felt the moist. She took her fingers near her eyes and saw the droplets of tears over her fingers.

" I am sorry Raghu!!" her voice cracked, " Main tumhe chot pauchana nahin chahti thi. Main aisa soch bhi nahin sakti... Tum too mere angel hoo, main apne angel ko kaise hurt kar sakti hoon!! Par mujhse galti ho gayi!! Sorry" she said in grieve voice. No one was there to listen to her. She just blabbered to herself.

"Main ussey aur pareshan nahin kar sakti.. pahele hi bahut kuch kar huka hain woo mere liye..ab aur nahin!! Haan main ussey apne sath Kashmir too nahin le jaa sakti par mujhe uss sey sorry kahena chahiye!! Jabtak woo mujhe maaf na kar de tab tak mujhe bhi too chain nahin ayega" antra thought. But how would she ask for forgiveness from raghu, She didn't have the courage to face him after saying all those words. Antara banged on the pillow and drove into deep thought. She was all awake keeping her swollen eyes on ceiling. She was thinking hard for any way to get her apology from raghu. Suddenly she heard someone's heavy footstep coming towards the room. Antara quickly brushed away her tears and tried to look normal.

Noor apa entered in her room. The first thing fell on her eyes was the food kept untouched on the table and her eyes moved towards antara who was lying on the bed all awake.

"Khana kyun nahin khayi?!!" apa asked in a bit miffed voice.

"please apa ab aap mujhpe zabardasti mat kijiye... aaj mere gale se kuch nahin utrega.." she said in helpless voice looking towards noor. The pain in her eyes really pinched noor.

"kyu karti hain aisa?! Uss sey jhagra hi kyun karti hain agar itna bura lagta hain to?!" Noor apa asked in concerned voice. "appa!!.. main kahan jhagra karna chahti hoon ussey... main too bas ussey Kashmir nahin le jana chahti hoon. Usney bahut musibat more liya hain mere liye.. aur main nahin chahti kii woo mere liye baar baar apni jaan jaukhin mein dalein.." antara said.

"Woo bhi tere barein mein hi soch raha hain antara.. iss liye tujhe akle nahin jane dena chahta.." noor apa said. Antara remained silent. Noor apa continued to say, "dekh antara.. sirf ussey nahin... hum sab ko tere iss faisle se pareshani ho rahi hain... dekh raghu aur tere papa sach kahe rahe hain, Kashmir ki halat sach mein thik nahin hain. Aur upar se Daya Naik ka bhi khatra hain. iss halat mein hum tujhe akele kaise chor sakte hain?" noor apa said seating beside her in bed.

"Appa!!... I know, mujhe sab samajh aa rahi hain, par aap logon ko meri batein kyun samajh nahin aa rahi hain!!"antara said helplessly. Appa caressed her hairs, "Kyun ki tu bewakoofi kar rahi hain!" Noor appa said caressing her hairs. "Appa!!." Antara pouted. "Hum samajhte hain antara. Tu nahin chahti ki teri wajah se kisi koo pareshani ho. Par agar woo tere sath jayega naa too hum sab ko tassali ho jayegi. Antara humare liye maan jaa!! Apne papaa ke liye." Noor said.

Antara didn't answered anything, Noor understood the turmoil going inside her. "Dekh antara!! hum sab teri bhalayi hi chahte hain. Le ja naa raghu koo apne sath. Woo bechara bhi too pareshan ho ke aise mooh bana ke baitha rahega!" Noor apa giggled.

"Agar itna hi fikar hota naa ussey meri to meri baat samajhti woo! Mujhe aise baat suna ke nahin chala jata!!" antara said in a miffed voice. "Ohh sun.. tujhe pata hain, tune khana nahin khaya aaj iss liye usne bhi nahin kahya!!" noor apa said. Antara was shocked and snapped back to noor apa. "kya?!!".she asked with wide eyes. "Haan!! Aya tha table pe par jab suna ki tune khana nahin kahya woo bhi chala gaya." Antara felt bad for her rude behavior. "becchara tera bhaala sochta raheta hain aur tu hain ki baar baar ussey sunataa raheta hain.." noor apa said in a quite miffed voice, "Antara dekh woo larka hain thora karwe swabhab ka. Par sachmein tere liye bahut sochta hain. Chaot tujhe nahin ussey bhi lagta hain! Acha hoga agar tu uss sey sulah karle. Kyun ki aise ek dusre pe gussa karne se naa too tujhe chain milega na hi ussey. Dekh dost too bahut atein hain zindagi mein, par raghu ke jaisa dost bahut kam milte hain joo tere liye kuch bhi kar sake.. kuch bhi!!.." Noor apa said trying to console her. her last word created some havoc in antara;s mind. "sach too kahe rahi hain noor appa.. woo sachmein kuch bhi kar jata hain mere liye.. kuch bhi!!... Par kyun?! Mujhe kabhi samajh nahin atta.." she said in her mind. "Kyun kahan kho gayi?!!" Noor apa asked. "kuch nahin.." antara said. "chal main sone jaa rahi hoon.. bahut thak gayi hoon..." noor apa said and slide on her side. Soon she dozed off. But antara couldn't sleep. The night got darker and silent. Antara could hear noor apa's snore. She was thinking about raghu.

"Maine ussey itna kuch kyun suna diya.. usne khana bhi nahin khaya. Ohh god!! Ab main kya karoon. Kaise manaoon ussey!!" Antara thought and tossed on the bed restlessly.
Suddenly she heard a mouth organ tune spreading all over in the basti. Raghu was again playing his MO. The sad tune she heard that night when he scolded him on binod's issue. She hurt him so many times out of her dumbness. Still he always helped her! Her heart stung in pain.She got up from the bed and came outside ofdamayanti bhavan following the tune. She pushed the gate and came outside at the lanes of basti. She saw raghu at the same spot on that bench under that dim street light where she saw him that
night. She slowly moved towards him. In the contrast of dark and light in his feature antara again noticed that tattoo in her hand.

Antara again felt the sting of pain going deeper in her. He was her angel, the person who offered her new life, his special person whom she craved to meet so much and at last when she got to meet
him, she was all rude to him. Why she was being such a jerk?! He must be very hurt. Antara slowly approached towards the bench with slow pace.

Raghu was playing MO when he felt antara's presence He noticed to her approaching soft footstep. The MO suddenly froze on his lips stopping the music abruptly. Antara's feet stopped with the music. Raghu looked up and found antara standing just at some inches away looking towards him with guilt.

"Tu yahan kya kar rahi hain!! woo bhi itni raat ko?!! Jaa so jaa.." he said looking away from her face. Antara felt sad, "Tumne khana kyun nahin khaya?!!" she asked. "Tujhe kya fark parta hain!!" he said in miffed voice. Antara looked towards the ground with painful eyes.

"I am sorry!!" she said in chocked voice. "mujhe pata hain main bahut jyada bol gayi. Par maine woo sab jaan bojh ke nahin kahan tha.. main bas..." her voice chocked. "Ab ro kyun rahi hain?! maine tujhe kuch kahan kya?!!" Raghu asked looking towards her. still she continued to shed silent tears looking towards ground. "arey chup joo jaa yaar... dekh main naraz snahin hoon tujhse.. bas woo.." he didn't say anything further. "Bura laga naa?!!" Antara asked quietly. Raghu didn't say anything and just sighed heavily. A silent moment passed. "Kyun aisa kar rahi hain?! Arey apun agar tere sath gaya too kya hoga.. Kashmir ki sari thandi chali jayegi kya?!!" he asked in miffed voice. "Kyun ki main tumhe aur musibat mein nahin dekh sakti..mujhse aur nahin hoga!! Mujhme aur takat nahin hain!" she said slowly.

Raghu snapped back to her face looking back towards him helplessly.

"Tumhe pata hain jab tum chupe huye the aur apne maut ka natak kar rahe the tab meri kya halat ho gayi thi?!! Ek bhi pal aisa nahin tha ki maine apne aap ko nahin kosa.. main humesha yahin soch rahi thi ki main tumhare maut ki zimmedaar hoon!! Aur yee mujhe andar hi andar kha rahi thi.. jine ki aas hi chali gayi thi!!" She said slowly and brushed her tears. "Aur mujhmein woo sab jhelne ki takat nahin hain raghu. Agar meri wajah se tumhe iss baar fir se kuch ho jayein too main nahin jhel sakoongi. Iss liye main tumhe apne sath nahin le jana chahti!!" she at last said the reason and raghu just smiled mildly listening ti her crazy reason. He enjoyed her concern for her fully. His heart was beating in really fast pace.
"Pata tha mere ko... teri yeri dimag mein kuch khichri pak rahi hain!!.." he chuckled. "tumhe sab mazak lagta hain naa?!!" she said in miffed voice. "Miss Kaul!! Tujhe apni angel pe bharosa nahin hain?!" he asked with a small smile but still in a tinty of seriousness in his voice. Antara looked towards him and said, "Mazak mat karo.. Tum bhi too insaan ho.. Kitna karoge mere liye!!" she said with a sigh. Raghu's smile broadened, as he understood that fact that she also get hurt seeing him in danger. "Sabkuch!!" he just answered in a small word and it was oozing with his all intensity and concern. Antara smiled and looked towards him. "Abtoo mujhe maaf kar do... Tumhe too sab pata chal gaya... batao maine koi galti ki kya?!!" she asked urgently.
"Karoonga par ek shart mein..." he said with another chuckle, his eyes gleamed with mischievous tint. "Batao kya chahte hoo?!!!" she asked with another small smile.
Raghu stretched his hand to her startling antara. She stood there motionless for a while. raghu was waiting patiently stretching his hand and finally antara slid her palm in his hold with a smile, raghu grabbed her hand tightly giving a shiver in her nerve. He smirked and made her seat at his side. Their eyes were locked towards each other. Her confused hazels were searching for some ans in his black intense orbs.

"Tujhe woo gana suna naa parega.. joo uss din tu subha gaa rahi thi.. wohi ganaa jiss ki dhoon main mouth organ mein bajata hoon." He said with another naughty smile. Antara got startled and looked everywhere, "Yahan!!" she said in confusion.
"dekh miss kaul" Raghu shifted closer to her, "yahan bas main hoon aur woo kutte hain joo raat ko chillate rahete hain.. agar apun gaya too woo kutte too apun ko nahin chorengey... issey acha kit u hi gaale. kaam se kam raat koo bhaukengey to nahin aur chain se suth jayengey.." .

Antara giggled at his words. Her giggling sound reflected in the silent air of basti increasing raghu's heartbeat. He continued to look towards her with intense eyes. her smile was like sunshine which could remove the darkness in a second. Raghu smiled and started to play the MO. Antara's eyes closed and she hummed with the tune. Raghu continued to play his MO while antara continued to sing in her beautiful voice closing her eyes with a smile. She didn't watch his intense eyes fixed on her while he was playing MO with her. The song ended and antara opened her eyes. Both of them looked towards each other with smile.

"Miss Kaul.. abtoo le jayegi naa apun ko Kashmir tere sath!" he asked all of a sudden. "Raghu!!" she said in miffed voice, "maine pahele hi tumhe wajah bata di.. ab bhi tum zid pe arein ho.." she said. "arey yaar yee fizul mein dar rahi hain tu...tu bhool rahi hain apun kaun hain!! too ab jaaldi se maan jaa.." he said. Still she was silent. "arey itna kya soch rahi hain!! jaldi se haan bol de naa yaar, waisey bhi tu mere bina akele kuch kar bhi nahin sakti!!" he chuckled. "Raghu!!" she said angrily and and moved towards Damayanti bhavaan with angry pace. "oye... miss kaul!! abh fir se cooker garam kyun ho gaya tera... miss kaul!!" he said and followed her scratching his head.

Written by yashvi and editing team.