Chapter 24
Pehle nahi ab soch ne lage hai hum,
Zindgi ke har lamhe main teri zarurat si lagti hai...!!!
Raghu's POV...
Hitting me hard with her words she moved away and got outside of the door. Standing there frozen with the support of that column beside me, staring towards the door through which she disappeared. I felt numb for a while as her words reflected allover through my mind and hit hard inside me.
"Jis panchi keep pankh jal gaye hoo woo kabhi nahin urr sakti..."
Again another confusing, yet painful abrupt statement of her, which left me speechless and shot so many questions in my mind! What was she holding inside which made her turn bitter all of a sudden from a bubbly cheerful girl? Did her hidden remorse have some connections with me? But how?! I closed my eyes feeling frustrated and sighed. Just a moment before she looked so cheerful but as soon as she collided with me, her sparkling eyes lost their glow under the shade of deep unknown sorrow. I sighed again and suddenly felt bad. it was clear that my presence bothered her so much, though I didn't know the reason but it was clear from her every reaction. Just a moment ago how she was laughing and as soon as I was there the smile was gone. If my presence made her sad then I should keep away from her. Somehow Antara was right while she told me to stay away from her. it wouldn't bother if we couldn't get to feel each other near. Even why should I bother about her? She was just a girl who moved into our basti some days ago. If I wouldn't meet her accidentally in Kashmir then she would just a random girl like others in basti!
But would it actually be like that. I doubt. The thing she hold... even if I didn't know her before wouldn't she get my attention at very first place, specially, while she posses such an attractive personality. And above all she just lived at the neighbor's house and her room was also situated at my balcony's front.
I again hold my abrupt thought. It wouldn't stop or lead to anywhere, how much I would think it would get deeper, it would be difficult for me to remove her thoughts from my mind. I had to get her out of my mind, otherwise I would surely go mad. Just like I was hallucinating her in morning. I still didn't get that why I saw her there?! Was I thinking too much about her?
Scratching my head while I was about to move to my place when something hit my feet. Startling a bit I looked down and find a little notebook like thing near my feet. Curiously, I bend down and grab the thing. "S**a yee kya cheez hain bey?!!" I threw the question in air and tossed the little thing in my hand. Where did it come from?! I slowly flipped it open and the first thing I saw was a name written on the very first page.
"Antara Kaul"
A very beautiful elegant script it was. I looked towards the name in disbelief for a while. So it belonged to one and only madam antara kaul. There were also some lines written at the beneath... but damn they were in English. I felt so frustrated looking towards those lines. "Abey s**a aaj kaal hoo kya gaya hain logon koo... Angrez chale gaye piche angrezi chor gaye... Hindi mein nahin likha jata kya?!" I thought in irritation. I was about to flip the pages when my fingers stopped on the pages. I thought for a while. should I check the diary?! It wouldn't look good to seek anyone's private thing. "Agar yedi koo pata chala too fir se mere pee bomb kii tara foot jayega!! Chor doo yaar... ussi kaa cheez ussi koo wapas de dete hain..." I thought. I just needed to give that to ruksana so she could return the diary to antara. But there was a bit curiosity which bugged me. perhaps, the diary could reveal me something... the answers which I was seeking for long. The diary might be the key to her puzzled mind. I was in mind dwell with my two thoughts when someone tapped on my back. I felt a jerk all over my body. I quickly turned back hiding the diary at my back. I confronted ajji and ruksana's toothy grins.
"Kya hain aise daant kyun dikha rahe hoo... apun dentist dikhta hain kya joo tum dono kee dant kaa checkup karega!!" I said in irritation. There toothy grin changed into miffed expression. "How mean!! Ajji... aap kee iss chintu koo kya bina taunt ke batein karna nahin atta?!!" ruksana said pouting. "Arey bachpan mein kitni baar kaheta tha iss yede koo kii itna mirchi mat kha, paar yee kahan suntan tha... abb too pura zuban mirchi ban gaya hain!!" ajji said sniffing. "Dekho apun koo koi problem nahin hain tum ladies logon kaa teda meda jalebi jaisa batein sun nee kee liye.. par mere koo abhi kuch zaroori kaam niptane kaa hain... too abhi apun chalne kaa... bye!!" I was about to sweep out form the place but how could I do that when my one and only ajji was present there. "Abey yede!!" she caught my ear and dragged me back instantly. "Arey ajji kaan kyun pakarte hoo?!!" I said wincing painfully. "Eee raghunath naik... bhool gaya main kaun hoon.. teri daya mai ki mai... too tere kaan pakar nee kaa hak uss sey zyada mera hain pahele.. samjha?!!" ajji said jerking my ears. "Ajji apun samajh gaya.. abhi yee kaan too chorro... rubber band nahin hain joo khinch ne see aur lamba hoo jayega!!" I said holding my ears still hiding the diary in my other hand. I was surprised that how automatically I was being possessive about the thing that even I was hiding it from ajji with whom I shared everything. "Thik kiya ajji aap nee... aur zor se kaan khicho iss gadhe kaa... taa kii iss key khali dimag mein kuch akal aa jayein." Ruksana motivated ajji from side. "Abey ee ruksana.. bare maze aa rahe hain naa tujhe... kabhi tera koi kaan khiche too tab pata chalega..." I said rubbing my ear as ajji left that. ruku showed her tounge to me and said, "Main aise kaam karti hii nahin hoon kii mujhe kissi kaa kaan khichayi sahena pare. Samjhey?!" she said. "shant shant!!..." ajji said from side as we both stopped. "waisey ek baat bata chintu... aaj tuu reverse gear maar kee idhar naach nee kee jagah par kyun aa gaya... kahin tere balcony kaa rasta bhool too nahin gaya?!" ajji giggled. "arey kya baat karte hoo... pani pine jaa raha tha kitchen mein... aur beach mein udhar woo tum logon kaa woo nach kee ghar mein nazar par gaya aur udhar apun,..." I stopped immediately cause I couldn't say further. Even I was confused that how that mere glance of her made me hook to the spot. "Nazar par gaya aur fir?!..." ajji frowned towards me. "ary kuch nahin yaar ajji... bas nach dekh raha that um logon kaa.. kyun ismein kaun saa rayta fail gaya?!" I asked in irritation, I just wanna get out of the place as soon as possible. "Par tere koo too iss nach gane see nafarat hain naa.. chir machti hain ghoongroo kee awaz se... too aaj idhar kaise aaa kee atak gaya?!" ajji asked twitching her lips. "Arey kuch nahin ajji... dimag satak gaya tha apun kaa... iss liye!!" I said quickly and tried hard to find an escape. "Raghu tumhe huya kya hain haan?!! Tum aur humare dance classes mein?! Sach mein ajji..,. yee too kuch ajib hii hain!!" even ruksna started to doubt on me. "arey ab tu chup hoo jaa meri amma... ajji ki tarah tuu bhi mere pee suru mat hoo jaa..." I almost begged her. "waisey chatpati, aaj humare nach mein kuch alag hii tha naa..." ajji said with some indication in voice. But ruksana didn't catch that. She as usual said, "Haan ajji.. aaj tpp bare maze aa rahe the... khss karke woo antara... kitna maza kar ti hain naa... aur hasata bhi hain sabko... ur dance too kamal ka karti hain.. maine kahan tha naa ajji..." ruku blabbered. "Haan antara naa... Waisey chintu..." ajji called me as I was scratching my head confusingly, "waisey tu too bare akhein faar faar kee dekh raha tha antara koo... kyun?!!" ajji's straight cut question made me gulp. Man she really watched everything! "Kya?!! Antara koo..." ruksana looked towards me and ajji's face with confusion. I gulped heavily looking towards their shooting doubtful glances on me. "Ajji woo apun..." But at that moment, bappa got merciful on me and the ladieschiller party of ajji's dance group came out from the dance room all together. They surrounded ajji and their concentration moved towards them. I took the opportunity of the moment and rushed towards the stairs. After some moment as I crushed on my cot I took out the little diary from my shirt. I looked to the thing for quite long. I could easily give it back to ruksana but something stopped me. I was about to flip the page again when buntiya suddenly came out from nowhere. "Bhai... Mai nee aap koo bulaya hain!" as he said I felt so irritated. I was just about to open that. "Atta hoon!" I jumped up from the cot keeping the diary there. I had to go through it later.
Antara's POV..
"God.. now what happened to you?!!" mami asked chacking out rhea worriedly as she was lying on the bed holding her stomach. From the evening she was having bad stomach ache. We were supposed to attend a wedding on the evening. Mama and mami were getting ready when suddenly rhea hold her tummy and lay on the bed. After that she moved out from there. she was just holding her tummy and wiggling badly. "Mom.. can't you see oi am having stomach pain.. now how many times I have to tell you." rhea twitched her lips in irritation. "You must had eat something from outside. How many times I had to tell you not to take those unhygienic things. But u never get tired of those bujiya's, imlis, chips etc etc..." mami said scolding her a bit. "Now leave her na mami.. she was really in trouble." I said holding rhea's hand as I was seating at her side in bed. "God!! now how I would take her to wedding?!" mami sat on the chair holding her temple. She looked really confused and worried. "It's okk mom. You and poppsy go there. Di would stay with me... Okk?!" rhea said. "Huh!! And why antara have to skip the wedding?! Just for you?!" mami was really irritated on rhea. "mami it's okk, even I was not feeling like going. It will be good for me. I will do some office works in advance. You go with mamu." I assured her. "But antara..." mami was trying to say something but I stopped her. "It's okk mami. We both will be fine. U just go and have fun!" I smiled to her. "Seriously antara I was feeling so bad. I thought you would feel good as you didn't have any chance to go out and celebrate after you joined your office but for this nachchari you have to stay back." Mami said with miffed voice. "Mami... It's okk naa.. they invited you.. not me.. it won't matter if I go there or not but you and mamu have to be there naa!" I told her. "And yep mom... di would enjoy my company more rather than your boring wedding function!" rhea squirmed. "Rhea tu kuch jyada hii badmash hoo gayi hain!!" mami said rolling her eyes. Rhea giggled in naughtiness. Even I thanked rhea for giving me opportunity to stay back. I felt odd in the family functions on those days. It felt heavy inside when the cheerful faces of people remind me about my precious time with family.
Mamu and mami left. Mamu told us to be aware as they might be late. mami instructed me to give medicines to rhea and call them whenever I needed something. "EK kaam karna antara... agar kuch pareshani hoo too tere room mein joo kone wali balcony hain naa... uss kaa darwaza khol lena.. samne hi naik sadan kee balcony mein raghu raheta hain... ussey awaz laga dena... woo wahan hoga too zarror teri madad kar dega!" mami said. Again I felt that painful pinch in my heart as her words mocked me unintentionally. Seriously, the man from whom I was seeking revenge my fate was pushing me to seek help from him. I stood there silently looking towards the floor hiding my moist eyes. "thik hain!" mami caressed my chicks and asked me with a smile. I just nodded silently. "Arey meri bhanji akele hii 100 ke barabar hain..ussey kissi aur ki mada nahin chahiye.. kyun bhanji?!!" mami said in her as usual cheerful voice. I smiled on him. He was truly an oxygen to my suffocated life. Unknowingly he always cheered me up. I wished them safe journey I closed the door and huffed. Getting away from the bitter feeling I slowly moved upstairs to our room. rhea was laying on the bed closing her eyes. I sat on her side and called her, "Hey!!". Rhea opened her eyes and looked towards me sheepishly. "Mom and Dad?!! Did they left?!" she asked. "Yup!! Now you should take rest otherwise your stomach ache will turn worse. I would make some light food for our dinner. Till then take a nap, it will help you!" I told her and was about to cover her properly. "Hang on your stomach pain di!!" rhea suddenly jumped out of bed giving me a lifetime shock. She stood at my side looking towards me sheepishly. "Rhea?!!" I uttered in low confused voice. She scratched her hairs and said with sheepish face that, "Sorry di... I had to do all those drama!! But it was really important for me.. Cause I really needed to stay back home with you!!" rhea said. "You didn't get stomach pain?!" I was still in shock. "No actually... I just.. well... no!" she said looking towards me with her stupid mild smile. "so it was all your drama?!" my voice rose a bit. "Listen di.. I am really sorry.. But I didn't have any other way... I swear I don't have any bad intention." Rhea said pinching her throat between her fingers as she swore. I stood up from the bed giving a frown towards me. I stood at her front crossing my hand on my chest. "And u expect me to forgive you for your silly prank?!" my voice was harsh a bit. "Di please listen naa?!" she looked a bit poor trying to say something. "Listen to what rhea?!" I said in annoyed face, "You know this thing I can't digest. Rhea for god's sake I can tolerate your every mischief but lying to your parents... even for any small reason... its something which I will never prefer. You know me really well rhea. Still you did that and now you are confessing to me hoping that I will support you?!" I said towards her a bit harshly. "Sorry di!!.." she really looked poor at the moment. I sighed and went to grab some water from bottle. "Now for what silly reason you did all those things, SRK's movie or to play Farmville on facebook?!" I asked as I bed to grab the bottle from the night lamp's desk situated at our bed's side. "Di..." she uttered slowly and I felt a bit confused as I heard the sudden seriousness in her voice. But her next word left me speechless and froze to the spot. "I saw your diary last night and read that!"
My eyes widened and froze on the bottle on which my hand fell like lifeless thing. A cold wave rushed from my top to bottom and I felt numbed. My every feeling, every sensation, was frozen along with me. the huge silent in my room ticked the clock for almost a min. Rhea caught my cold hand and made my stiffened body move to face her. as I looked back to her I was surprised to see the seriousness and maturity in her eyes. at that moment I understood everything that why she had to do such drama. Her next word cleared my all doubt. "I came to know everything..." She stopped for a while and looked straightly into my eyes. "I know that why did u came in this basti! I know everything... that's why I had to lie to mom and popsy so I can talk with you all alone. I know that you won't prefer to talk in front of them about those things." She stated those words looking expectantly towards me. I was feeling lifeless. The very secret from which I kept away my every loved once especially this little sister of mine, my cruel fate again did conspiracy by revealing everything to her. I didn't want to fall the dark shadow of my life on them but I failed pathetically. I felt weak in my knees and crushed on the bed looking towards the wall with wide eyes. What was fate planning for me next?!! I didn't know. Rhea sat at my side silently and kept her little palm on my shoulder. the warm touch brought back my sense. I caught her hand and looked towards her with my dumb eyes. Honestly I didn't know what to say her. I lost my kanguage as I observed her innocent questioning eyes fixed towards me. Suddenly her dark eyeballs became conceited and painful, "Honestly di... I didn't expected this from you." as she said in painful voice it shook me inside. "rhea!!" I chocked. "No di... I mean how?!!" she suddenly said in frustration. "I understood the reason... but at least you can tell me everything... di from the very childhood days we used to share our every secret! We never hid anything from each other. We used to reveal our all our hidden things to each other even before telling to our parents then why not now?!!... How could you hid this very secret from me di?!! Just how?!..." tears rolled down her eyes as she said those words. "No no... rhea!!" I quickly cupped her face and rubbed the tears from her chicks. it would be my worst day when my little sunshine had to cry for me. "Trust me I really didn't mean it... I just wanted to keep you all safe from them.. they are the worst people in the earth rhea. If they come to know anything about this they will destroy all of u and I ccan't bear that." my eyes moistened as I said those words. "Di!!" she said me in chocked voice... her lips trembled... "Did buya and ashok uncle... Noor appa... they all really got victim of bomb blast?!!" she looked towards me with wide eyes. I shut my eyes tightly to hold back my tears. I couldn't break myself in front of rhea. I knew her, she wouldn't be able to face that. I somehow managed to stay strong and looked back to rhea. "rhea please.. u don't have to know about this thing... u have ur own life.. and I can't let u involve in this thing.." I said gathering my all strength. "and u know me di..i won't stay back after knowing everything I have to know everything now..." she said firmly looking towards my eyes. I sighed. How could I forget that how stubborn she was always. "So, it was all wrong that buya, ashok uncle and noor appa died in an car accident... actually it was the blast in houseboat." She stated in low voice. I just couldn't say anything rather than nodding my head. "and why did u lied to us di. Why didn't you tell mom and dad about the real reason." Rhea asked me. "I have to hide that rhea. I can't place any doubt in peoples heart.. and this kind of news spreads like fire. If mamu and mami came to knew about that blast then it would spread all over in basti and somehow it would surely reach to Daya Naik. I know about her powers rhea. She wouldn't take time to find my connection with the blast and cornel uncles all effort to keep our family tragedy a secret would be fruitless also I wouldn't get chance to come near and be near them." I said with low voice. I really didn't want to get rhea into those things but it seemed like the thing had gone out of my hand. "Di.. so that Daya Naik!!... She killed buya and all?!!" as she asked the question I saw the sheer hardness in her eyes. I kept silent for a while. "Di don't hide from me... I read each and every line from your diary where you wrote everything in your own hand!" rhea said in hard voice. "Please rhea... just forget about all those things..thats not meant for you. you have your studies, ur life... u have to concentrate on them rather than this things." I insisted. "No di!!.." she sid greeting her teeth. "I can't!! They killed my buya, my ashok uncle and noor appa!! I can't forget that!!" she said stubbornly. "Rhea please!!..." I almost begged her with teary eyes. "did you forgot di?!!" as she asked me with hard voice I stood numb. "Di you know.. when after one month of buya and others death u called us and told us about the fake road accident... I was just... couldn't believe that they left us... that all night I cried silently... remembering every moment we shared together... They were like my second mother and father di.. u know di when u choose to go on astrophysics study... ashok uncle was a bit sad cause he wanted u to be a doctor like him... but he didn't stopped u as ur wish was his first priority..." rhea said in low voice and wandering eyes. I smiled as I remembered that.. "Yup.. even I was feeling bad for disappointing him. but bio was something which never got into my grey cell." I prompted. Even between the tears a mild smile escaped our lips. " U know di... I hugged ashok uncle and told him that I am also her daughter and I will fulfill her dream by becoming a doctor." she said. Again I felt a lump remembering her smiling face when he told me that, "See I got someone who would fulfill my dreams now.. My very own rhea darling!" his words still roamed in my ear. "He was my inspiration like you di... how can I stay quite after hearing that news about his death?" rhea prompted. Both of our eyes were moist by then. rhea kept her head on my shoulder and said, "Di.. I wanna know everything from beginning. Would u tell me.." she requested. "Just leave it rhea... its good if you don't listen... trust me it's hard to bear" I told in low voice. "Di trust me I can take.. I am not at all so weak u all think of me... and besides... just tell me you will feel good!" she said with serious voice. I looked towards her in amusement. "di!!..." she glanced towards me, "I know how much you went through.. trust me... I really do know!!.. I know how much they were meant for you... but still u are hiding the deep pain inside u from all... sharing pain with someone really makes u feel lighter!!" she made such a matured comment leaving me speechless again. My little birdie had really grown up. I smiled and started to tell her everything form beginning.
Raghu's POV...
Double Shit!! Why couldn't I think of that before? Looking at her English love it was obvious that her whole diary would be written in English! "S**a hindi mein nahin likh sakti thi, ungli darad kart hain kya vey hindi likhne mein?!" I asked in frustration as I went through antara's little diary which came at my hand. The girl had written whole thing in English. It was almost impossible for me to understand! my last chance to go through the mind of that girl washed away in plain water.
Still I flipped through the pages of that diary. The thing really contained her aroma which was so natural and unique. The lines might not be understood by me but I had to admit the fact that her handwriting was so wonderful and clear. They looked like some beautiful designs on the pages as I caressed my fingers over them. Damn, if I could understand a single word! Slowly, I precede further going through ages after pages when suddenly I saw a dried flower kept so securely between two pages. Curiously I took out the dried flower. It was almost crushed still the shape could be defined. That flower looked different. Not some usual kind of flowers we watched randomly. Holding the long stick as I tossed it for a while and at last I recognized it. Tulip!! I saw them in kashmir. Strange thing was that I still remembered about them. Holding the flower as I again ran my eyes through the pages of diary my eyes stuck at some word. I clearly felt my heartbeat stopped and my breath hitched.
I saw my name written on the pages with her beautiful handwriting. Yes!! My name, Raghunath Naik!
I jerked my head in disbelief for a while trying to see if my eyes were seeing wrong. Nope!! It was damn right. My heart fluttered all of a sudden. "S**a is dil koo abb kya hoo gaya re... ee jyada uchalna bandh kar..." I almost scolded my poor heart bending down my head towards me chest. "huyaa kya hain issey yaar.. aaj kaal bas generator ki tarah chalu ho jata hain!!" I blabbered in annoyance.
However my eyes again fell back on the pages of diary where my name was mentioned. Slowly I turned another page. At the next page I again saw my name there. Not just once but so many times. she wrote so many things mentioning my name which I didn't understood. She also mentioned mai's name sometimes I didn't know why. Something was happening to me as I was watching my names on the pages for several times. a new kind of anticipation was arising in me which was making my chest tightened, holding my breath. as I touched the letters over the pages I felt strange, not for my newly developed anticipation but for the harsh sensation the pages gave me. With frowning face I noticed the pages were quite wrinkled. There are some almost invisible lines over the pages which seemed like the scratch of invisible markers. Those marks had wrinkled the pages and somewhere also butchered the inks that some letters and words had been faded. At a place my name was badly splashed out. It happened whenever accidently water fell on the papers and faded the inks. "S**a paper pee pani gir gaya tha kya?!!" I questioned myself. Till I flipped the pages after that it was having that wrinkling sensation. The mention of my name in every pages cleared one thing to me. Antara seemed to be ignoring me, but in real I occupy some major parts of her thought. She really thought of me in some way, otherwise she would never mention my name so many times in her personal diary. At the very last page, I got a picture again inside the diary. A picture where antara was with some other people, an elderly man and an elderly lady, middle aged lady and a little cute boy with specs. Antara was wearing the same red salwar in which I saw her today in ajji's dance class. Red really suits her vibrant smile. the other people seemed her family members. That elderly man and woman might be her parents and that boy might be her brother. She looked so happy and cheerful in the photo. The girl whom I confronted everyday seemed like the shadow of that girl in photo. could it be possible had she had some twin sister? I chuckled on my own thought!
I was like in a trance when I closed the diary with a bang and kept it at my side placing the dried flower and photo between its pages. I didn't know what to do with that diary. Should I give that back to her or not! Leaning over the pillow, I fixed my eyes towards the front balcony. The light of the room indicated that she was on her room. I heard that govind uncle and others would be going for some wedding. Did she stay back?! I guessed so. But why?! I tried to guess the reasons with some abrupt imaginative thoughts of mind. Lying there, fixing my eyes on the room's light my jumbled thought again engrossed my mind. Most of them was about the thing that what did she actually wrote about me in her diary?! "Arey galiyan di hogi aur kuch nahin! Sidhe mooh baat too nahin karti. Woo kaise apun kee barein mein..." My mind said. But still the curios insect bugged me badly inside. That diary thing twisted my mind more rather than clearing the things. My eyes closed automatically while I was thinking about all those abrupt things. But the sleep didn't come to me at all. The thought continued to roam on my thought. Her smiling face and her teary eyes both continued to create storm in my head. I remembered the moment when I imagined her in crop field in morning. Why the heck I imagined her? Why after receiving so many poisonous words and taunts from her, I couldn't stop myself to think about her?! the thought almost crazed me every night.
A sound of bangles interrupted me. In irritation I opened my eyes and was startled to see a silver bangle wrapped wrists in front of my eyes. The hand was so tender and beautiful!! The pitch milk tender skin was glowing even in dim street light of night which was falling on my balcony. Amused for a while I slowly lifted my eyes to see whose hand was that. Truly I saw the angel of moon standing at my side wearing that same white anarkali in which I saw her in morning, her vibrant smile, and her sparkling hazel eyes removed the darkness from each and every corner of my little empty living place. For some moment I couldn't even say a single word and continued to stare at her face, innocent, divine, pure yet full of persona and elegance. Her deep hazel eyes were observing me curiously. My lips got parted and my tight chest filled already suffocated. I really forgot to breathe for the initial some moments when my eyes stared to her silently, with thudding heart. For a single moment it didn't come in my mind that how she suddenly appeared in my balcony from nowhere. She took my everything with her single glance, my mind, my heart, my thinking power, my strength, everything. Why was she so cruel towards me? she just took away the peace of my mind from the very first meet and at last she even took away my breath?! As she observed my silence, her fingers moved near her face. Keeling her chin over her long, ravishing index finger she twitched her neck towards me throwing a questioning frown to me. Still that mild smile was intact to her face. Shaking away my numbness I finally became able to say something.
"Tu?!!! Idhaar?!!" my voice was drenched with shock, amusement and disbelief as I asked her. She just giggled taking away another breath of mine. "Eee aise dant mat dikha... waisey hii pareshan kar kee rakha hain tune!" annoyance came back in my voice. "Maine?!" her voice flickered disbelief as she asked me. "Aur nahin too kaun?! Dekh antara.. khalipili apun kaa bheja mat kha... Kyun mazak kar rahi hain mere sath haan?!" I felt a bit frustrated as I barked to her. she stood there silent still with that mild smile. "Tu yahan kyun ayi antara?! Tu too mere see bat tak nahin karna chahti.. too kyun tu..." I stopped for a while trying to search for proper words. "Acha?! Maine kya kiya hain?!" her innocent voice asked me again. Frustrated, annoyed I snapped back to her face but again taken a back looking at her face. Her innocent smile had some magic. Probably her most powerful weapon! You could never stay angry of her if she just smiled to you. A heavy breath escaped from me. I was defeated already. "Batao.. Kya kiya hain maine?!" She asked me over again with that same childlike curiosity in her face. "Pata nahin!!..." it came out automatically from my mouth. "Khuch naii gus ree la hain khopri mein... Yee kya hain, kyun hain.. kuch samajh nahin atta... bas hoo raha hain kuch aajib saa..." I said in my confused stumble voice. She remained silent and listened to my words. "Tujhe pata hain... Aajkaal tere siwaa aur kuch soch bhi nahin pata hoon... S**aa bahut koushis karti hoon tere koo dimag see nikal nee kii..Par jaise tere soch koo kissi nee kill kiii tarah apun kee dimag mein thok diya hain... S**a ukharta hii nahin hain!" I stated in a bit annoyance. Again she smiled a bit, "Too itna sichte kyun hoo mere barein mein?! Kya sochte rahete hoo?!" she came a bit closer as she asked me. My hands were aching to hold her palms and drag her closer to me so I could have a better view of her. The small darkness was abstracting my eyes a bit. "Bollo naa..." her eyes urged me. I sighed again and said, "S**a wohich too samajh nahin atta... Bas tujhe dekhta hoon too pata nahin andar kaise aajib sa jhatka lag jata hain ekdum se... Tu hasti hain too apne andar pressure cooker ki city jaisi bajne lagti hain... Tu roti hain too andaar kuch chubta hain... Bahut zorro se...Samajh nahin atta... Bas dard jaisa kuch hota hain.. Jab bhi tu mere se ruth kee batein karti hain... Kyun karti hain aisa haan?!... Kyun itna dard deti hain?!" my voice suddenly chocked while I said those words to her. her hazel flickered pain. Slowly, stepping forward, she sat on my side reducing all distanced between us. My breath chocked again by her casual approach. It was something which I never imagined in my wildest dream. Dumbly I just continued to watch towards her angelic face which was illuminating fully as the street lights were falling over them with full fledge. "Aur tumne mujhe dard nahin diya?!!" her broken voice almost shattered me. "S**a yahich too mere koo pata nahin kii apun nee tujhe kaise aur kayeko chot pauchayi?!! Khopri satak jata hain fir bhi kuch yaad nahin atta!" I stated confusingly and with slight irritation, then I suddenly caught her hand which was just some inches from mine. she didn't repulse. Holding her hand near to my heart I looked directly inside her innocent eyes. "Tu hii bata dee naa antara... Akhir apun kii galti kya hain?!" I urged her with all my force. She looked dumbly towards my eyes for a while and then nodded in no. "Main nahin bata saakti..." she just said making me crazier. "Kyun nahin?!!" my grip tightened around her hand. "Bas samajhloo nahin bata saakti.. Tumhe khud yaad karna hoga... Mujhse nahin kahan jayega!!" her painful voice numbed me again. Her eyes tried to say so many things but it seemed like something had sealed her lips to talk. "Kaise yaad karein apun... Kahan too tujhe kii kuch samajh nahin atta.. naa hii kuch yaad atta hain!!" I stated helplessly. She smiled a bit but there was pain visible in her eyes. "Dimag see mat pucho.. Apne dil see pucho... ussey sab yad hain... jisdin tum iski zuban samajh jaoge.. uss din tumhe sab pataa chal jayegaa!" she stated indicating towards my heart. I gazed silently towards her. A small breeze reached and ruffled her hairs around her beautiful face. She tried to take back her hand but I dragged her so forcefully that her face bumped directly over me. I was only wearing my black vest with jeans. So her face directly touched the revealed part of my chest. She remained silent for a while hiding her face on my chest covered up with that thick bunch of black hairs. Suddenly she started to giggle and giggle harder. I was amused again. the sound of her laughter, just like the falling stream increased each and every beat of my heart with her increasing pace. Holding my face I was about to wrap my hand around her petite figure when suddenly she vanished into thin air and jumped up on my own cot after breaking of my sleep.
For a whole moment I stayed numb over the cot trying to detect where I was actually. My brain stopped working. My whole nerve was shaking in anticipation, in goosebumps, reminding about the moment. I was sweating badly. My eyes moved all over the balcony in search of her single glimpse but she was not there. I ruffled my hairs madly in frustration. Again I dreamed of her, and also in that manner... she was so close to me... and ... I couldn't think anymore and rushed towards the tap situated at the corner. There was watered stored on the bucket and I splashed them madly over my face, my entire body. her giggle was like haunting me. When I stopped I was drenched all over. My wet vest got plastered to my skin. Clutching the corner of the water bucket I stayed on the floor for a while taking out some heavy breaths. When finally my breath normalized I ruffled my wet hairs and looked back to her balcony. I was feeling confused, frustrated, annoyed, angry.. as well as something really good. What the hell was happening to me?! Was I going crazy?!! Why I was imagining that damn girl everywhere?! Why did she have so much impact upon me?!
Holding my breath, I calmed down my frustrating head. Thinking deeply for a while with my wobbled head I clearly understood one thing. That girl Antara Kaul was not a random girl to me anymore. She had owned over my thoughts leaving her impact upon my mind. I just couldn't just ignore her saying that she was nothing. She was something... really very important to me. I didn't know what but I had to know everything about her. till I solved the puzzle about the girl I could never get back the peace of my mind.
Precap: "If they get that thing rhea then everything would be spoiled!! They will know everything just you came to know!!" I crushed on the bed holding my face in frustration. My efforts would be fruitless just for my little silly mistake!! God!! Why did I keep it in my bag?!! Just why?!! "Di!!" rhea called me from side keeping her hand on my shoulder. Suddenly my face hardened and I sternly stood up from the bed. Reha was startled. As I arranged my dupatta rhea asked me, "Di.. what are you doin...". Arranging my duppata properly I answered her, "I was going to bring back my diary before it could get into other's hand!"
hope u enjoy. :)
Anupamaa
Real Estate
