Penned: Jahnvi in the stocks! - Page 6

Originally posted by: Aya.

@black - Omg ! Why didn't I think about that ?! You've just reminded me now ! Jhanvi was new to the city, looking all confused & scared, & some people were like how can she ignore him like that ? he loves her so much, she's hurting him, he has always helped her, blah blah blah ! Seriously dude, when I was reading those comments I was like to myself wth ?! *shaking my head !* Point to be noted ! 👍🏼

@blue - Very true. Said the same thing too !

@red - Will always agree to that ! All the fake lies, fake evidence, fake marriage, it is all nonsense ! Period.

Originally posted by: criticaleyes

[Blaming of victims is wrong, but Jahnavi in SB does not represent a "real victim" of domestic violence. She is just a cardboard cutout/a stuffed rag doll/overly done up mannequin who sneaks around eavesdropping on people's conversations/lacks courage of conviction to speak the truth/pretends not to be aware that Raghav's been doing "aankhon se balatkaar" of her for months and is in love with her/mindlessly follows other people's orders/is not in touch with her inner voice/ etc. etc... It is this Jahnavi that people cannot accept.

Originally posted by: Elysia

I won't comment in detail on your comment, because Biz already did.

But there are women who can actually relate to this "cardboard cutout/a stuffed rag doll" who has been shown for months -- being victims of abuse themselves.

Originally posted by: BizzyLizzy

Um...honestly?? 😆 I'm sorry but what, in your opinion, is a 'real victim'? Do you really define victims not by what they face but how they act later?

By both.

Agreed, but no one gets there in a day, in a month, in a year. Often it takes forever. You often only get this far only after coming to terms with what happened and your part in it, and she got there IMO the minute she slapped Viraaj across the face and stopped appealing to what she felt was his humanity. You don't deem yourself a survivor the moment your abuse stops. The CVs went through that pretty logically.

@ Bold: Totally disagree. The CVs went about it totally illogically. Anyway, now that Jahnavi appears to be stronger I hope she won't continue disappointing.

Originally posted by: flutterby

@critical eyes...She is just a cardboard cutout/a stuffed rag doll/overly done up mannequin who sneaks around eavesdropping on people's conversations/lacks courage of conviction to speak the truth/. It is this Jahnavi that people cannot accept.

jhanvi will be bashed for each and everything that she does... the fact that she eavesdropped and interfered in the singhs personal matters and tried to mend broken relations btween them was bashed, criticised... who is she to interfere in their family matters... cant she mind her own business... but the truth is even if she hadnt eavesdropped.. she wud still have been criticised... on the basis of her caring only about herself... her problems, fears, insecurities and not trying to understand other people's problems... as another TM rightly said that she was criticised for not responding to raghav's love and concern for her..

pretends not to be aware that Raghav's been doing "aankhon se balatkaar" of her for months and is in love with her/mindlessly follows other people's orders/is not in touch with her inner voice/ etc. etc..

i am sorry... but the latter... (follows other people's orders, is not in touch with her inner voice) is not a new trait that she has acquired after running away.. she even sat for a black magic ritual with viraj in order to ensure that she has a baby boy.. so she was *mindlessly following other people's orders*even then which was before she ran way... wonder how u cud connect with her then?? if u cant connect with her now..

@ Brown: Agreed. She is by nature someone who follows other people's orders. Now what else do you expect me to say? I only hope she learns to think for herself and act on her inner urgings, which I believe are basically noble. Any problems with that line of thought?

Originally posted by: criticaleyes

Except that victims react in different ways -- some withdraw, some take drugs and alcohol, some recoil at physical touch, some find themselves addicted to it. Some take their anger out on people or inanimate objects, some go absolutely numb. Some blank out the incidents that happened altogether, some go into a panic attack at seeing a banoffee pie because that was what they were probably going to eat when the attack took place. What is common among all of them was that they were not to blame for what happened to them, and their coping mechanisms do not, by any means, give anyone a reason to determine whether they are 'real victims' or not. Every victim in his/her own way, is frighteningly real. The aftermath of what they face, the decisions they make shortly after - are frighteningly real. Not always sweetness and light, not always the right one, but real in the wake of what they've experienced. To state that it isn't, because your perception of victimization is something else altogether, is to trivialize what s/he went through.

You can't define a victim simply by how they cope...it encompasses so many people with as many reactions to abuse. Stating that one coping mechanism makes someone a 'real victim' and another doesn't, is being unfair to so many victims out there, some of who - like Jhanvi - are just beginning to see themselves as survivors.

Edited by BizzyLizzy - 13 years ago

Originally posted by: BizzyLizzy

Res.