Imtihaan - Short tell p6 updated on pg6 - Page 4

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RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#31
Thanks bunch Mani and Zee! 😃
Zee: yup yup..as kahani ki storyteller me hu na iss baar..so nothing is straight forward..😳
P.S. m not too sure if i should be able to fit in everything in next two days..i mean it's a 5 days kinda story..but i guess i would have to chop some parts..or may be dialogues to fit in things..
PristineSoul thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#32
Krrishu.. Sorry for troubling you.. But Update na.. Btw, u didnt sleep as yet?
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: KriYa_life

Krrishu.. Sorry for troubling you.. But Update na.. Btw, u didnt sleep as yet?

i couldn't sleep..and m multitasking..😳
i would've but now that u guys are so excited..i can't make it so predictive na...need another more realistic touch..then simple predictions..
PristineSoul thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#34
Okay my Multitasking girl🤣 take ur time.. Hum intezaar karenge
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#35
Day 4:
Dr.K calls Jhanvi and Jhanvi tells her about her convo with Geeta. To that DK tells her to bring Geeta today and she wants to ask her some questions as well.
Jhanvi is getting ready for the appointment and Viraaj is in the hall, thinking about what would be the next move from Dr.K? Geeta is ready and standing by the door.
At Dr.K
DK: Viraaj please sit outside I need to talk with Geeta first then will take u for the treatment, U and Jhanvi can wait here for now.
Geeta and DK inside
DK: Geeta Jhanvi told me that u have not heard or seen Abhi. But Viraaj was saying that Abhi was the only best friend he can recollect.
CC:Faraan⭐️
Geeta: Komolikaji, I have lied to Jhanvi. As I don't want her to think of my Viraaj as "Mental" person. Abhi was his best friend when he was 4, but he fought with him one day..i can't really recollect how exactly it had happend..but Viraaj came home and he said that Abhi is no longer my friend and don't ask me whys!! He broke the aeroplane that i have given him. But after 1 yr of that incident..one day he came to me and said he wants me to make "motichur ke laddoo" for Abhi.. but doctor the strange part was that Abhi has shifted to new city coz of his father's job transfer.
I was shocked at his question..but he was too sweet and asked me in a way that i made ladoos for him..and he brought that out of the house..i don't know where he went after that..and in the evening when he came...he said Abhi Loved these ma.. u should've seen his face..he was soo happy ma..
Komolikaji...i was scared about telling this to Jhanvi...i don't want her to loose her hope this time..please doctor..do ANYTHING..but please don't tell her this...she will think of my son as a retard..
DK tells Geeta to sit outside..and assure her that she will make sure that Jhanvi and Viraaj won't be apart. Not atleast with her treatment.
Viraaj, Jhanvi and DK in the room
DK: so tell me Viraaj who else was close to u when u were young? u remember any other friend except Abhi? How about your dad? Do you want to share any good memories like when u were playing with him, going to school with him? etc.
Viraaj to the mention of his dad got very angry...clutches his hands tight on his stick..eyes grow sharp..tapping his shoe...
CC: Faraan⭐️
DK looks at Jhanvi...Jhanvi nods.
Jhanvi went closer to him...she said: Viraaj..it's ok i am here with u...please have some water..i am with u...placed her hands on his cheeks...
Viraaj felt bit better.
DK: Viraaj I just need to give u an injection you will feel better.
Viraaj: i don't want any injection or medicine. I am fine. U can ask me questions.
DK: look Viraaj ur lil disturbed..please do as I say and I assure u will feel much better. He looks at Jhanvi..Jhanvi smiles at him and hold her hand..."I am here with u".❤️
DK gives the injection to him and tells him to breath deep. He does that.
He felt lil unconcious, DK tells him to look into her eyes, follow what she say...feel relaxed..no one is here...only ur here...and I am here to cure u...make u better...he is sensing nothing now...emptyness..no sound...but DK's sound...she starts asking more questions..
CC:Faraan⭐️
Jhanvi is holding his hand and sitting by him.
CC: Faraan⭐️
DK: Viraaj can u hear me?
Viraaj: Yes Dr.K.
DK: you are now back to ur childhood, back where ur playing with Abhi..
Viraaj: yes doctor..i can see us..he is riding on my cycle..and i am pushing the cycle..(he laughs..😆) he can't drive it straight..(😆) He is so scared of falling off there...but I am enjoying it..😆😆
DK: Viraaj tell me about ur new aeroplane..
Viraaj goes all the way to that day..when Geeta gifted him that blue aeroplane on his 6th birthday..
Aeroplane!!! (exclaims 😃) yeeyyy Ma how did u know that i will like blue color only?? it's Perfact ma..just like ur Viraaj..look at the it flies..he turn it on with his remote...and watching it fly...
Ma is so happy looking at me...
DK:Viraaj where is ur dad? what is he doing?
Viraaj: he is just looking at me...he is...not smiling...🤔 he told me "enough of this aeroplane now Viraaj, go get me water from inside.."
I went in the kitchen..and heard...scream of Ma.....room is close..all i can hear is her screams...and my dad's shouting at her..he asking why did she spend 100rs. to buy that ugly aeroplane? does she love me more than him? what's in me that he doesn't have? Viraaj should never interfere in between us..enough of all this motherly drama..😡...
Morning scene..
Abhi and I are walking towards school..
In the classroom there is a new student Vikas who is sitting on my spot. I always sit besides Abhi..and today Vikas is sitting there. I'm angry..annoyed...i went to teacher complained..but she told me to sit somewhere else for a month as Vikas is new and Abhi can help him get settled..
On the way home..I am not speaking with Abhi..Abhi is puzzled..he asked me finally..
Viraaj what is? (😆😆 Hansa yaad aa gai muje😉) what's wrong?
I pretented everything is fine..and i came home..but that Vikas is not going off my mind..I just...I just want to...😡 Punch him...
Mum is sitting near me..asked me how was ur day Viraaj?
I answered in annoyance it was fine.. (i didn't look at her..)
In 10 mins or so..she bring me bornvita..here Viraaj my strong boy have ur milk and go play for an hr. I looked at her with teary eyes..
She had bruices..on her cheeks..marks on her hand..
She asked me..what happend Viraaj why are u crying?
I told her about Vikas and how Abhi and Vikas were happy and how Vikas is going to sit with Abhi for a month..I told her that now Abhi will forget me cz he has new friend to play with.
She asked me to bring my new aeroplane to Abhi and play with him.
* New Update tomorrow night*😊
Edited by Krrish87_sweet - 13 years ago
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#36
*Guys give me some time to update pictures for part 5. and it should be updated tonight..and ready to read in an hr or so..*
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#37
ok that is it for now..my neck is aching..need sleep..and i hope u like my part 5.. it's incomplete..continuation of it will be tomorrow night..till than tc.
P.S. I know past/present tense thingi is messed up in his hypnotism process..but i hope u guys will figure it out..
more on his treatment nd DK figuring out..
Last will have medicine his breaking down and Jhanvi by his side..better person..and RajVi SAGA ends there.
Please Please Please Hit the LIKE button and let me know ur thoughts.
P.S. Sorry for such a delay..it takes forever to put my thoughts on paper and then in accordance with the graphics😳
Pink-Lilly thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#38
Nice I Love Your Short Story. It's Much Better Than The Series. (:
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#39

Originally posted by: Misty2009

Nice I Love Your Short Story. It's Much Better Than The Series. (:

Thanks a lot for appreciation!😊
Yes because in my story My Viraaj is deeply in love with Jhanvi and he genuinely wants to do anything for her. He is accepting his weakness and he is bending...in my short tell...
i must add some filmy part..which i loved...K2H2's dialogue.
"mard ka sar sirf 3 logo ke samne jukta hai.. 1) Apni Ma 2) Durga Ma 3) Love Lady.."
in my tell he is already bowed 1) & 3) but i don't have time to put part 2) in it. coz with adding part two my short tell becomes fan fiction..😆😆 coz it is gona keep getting larger and larger with additions.
and in this story Jhanvi is not leaving him behind..Jhanvi is much more stronger than her usual series character. She wants to cure him even if it's forceful. She wants to stand by him rather than leaving him behind.
Edited by Krrish87_sweet - 13 years ago
RoyalLEO_Krrish thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#40
Continuation of day 4
Ma asked me to bring my favorite aeroplane that she gave me to play with Abhi. I went there, but i saw Abhi and Vikas playing. I went there to ask Abhi if we can play with my new toy, but he wanted me to play hide n seek instead with Vikas being there. I got annoyed so left from his house.
CC: Faraan⭐️
I was so upset..I was sitting by the pond, looking into the water..then someone form the water who looked like me told me that what's the use of ur new aeroplane where u can't get ur best friend back? Is it worth anything? look at it..it's so ugly! Abhi didn't even like it. He won't play with u not atleast with this ugly toy! I got angry with whatever he was telling me! urgh.. i smashed the aeroplane and threw it on his face! I went back to house.
CC:Faraan⭐️
In few days only Abhi and Vikas became best friends, Abhi started ignoring me and my talks. I was upset. I was angry. I wanted to give a peace of mind to Abhi. How dare he breaks our friendship? How can he like Vikas over me?😡
Days past..month past...one day Abhi came to my house he told me that he is leaving the town as his dad got transfer. He said he will miss me. I didn't know what to say. He was leaving me. The only friend I had was leaving the school, leaving the town..
I was in my room struggling with my thoughts..and that annoying man came back again..urgh..why is he troubling me..😡😡 He knew that Abhi left me..He wanted to scratch my wounds! He was standing inside that big mirror of my room. He started laughing hard at me..
He: "see Viraaj, no one plays with stubbern and arrogent guy like u! hahahha he left u! and guess what Vikas is also going to be in the same school as him as he lives in Bombay!" "You are the one left alone..no one cares about u...not ur mom...not ur dad...not ur friend...NO BODY! No body cares about u Viraaj Sharma! "
I got angry..i threw my pencil box on to that annoying guy.😡
That night i couldn't sleep, couldn't think anything but his laugh..his pitty on me..argh...
But one day i met Abhi again...we met the same way as we met the first time..he bumped into my way...and appolgized...i was 😲 to see him..but he hugged me..he said he didn't like bombay school,.he missed me...he won't leave the town again..
{ for clarity purposes this part is his illusion, his immagination of Abhi and his immagination of his reflection talking to him and second personality in him which is completely opposite of him, which wants to only hurt him!}
DK: ok Viraaj. Now u can feel today's Viraaj Dobriyal. Today's Wednesday and ur in Dr.K's clinic for ur treatment.
Viraaj opens his eyes, he is back in his senses. but he don' recollect what happend mean while. He looks at Jhanvi who is still holding his hand, she has tears in her eyes.
Viraaj: Jhanvi!!! Why are u crying?? Dr.K what's wrong??? What did u do to her?? What did I say???😕
Dr.K: Viraaj try to relax. You didn't say anything, we were just discussing about your past behavior that is why she has tears in her eyes. nothing happend. relax. Have some water. U will be fine trust me. 🤓
Dr.K: Jhanvi here are some new medicines, these ones are high dose. Please make sure he takes these thrice a day. Viraaj will do one exercise like one we did today every day, and the more you will open upto me and tell me about how u feel on those exercises you will get better. Everyday have ur medicine. i recommend you to do Meditation for 1 hr atleast once a day. Try to relax urself. Don't think about anything in that 1 hr.
Viraaj nods. Jhanvi asked Is there anything else Dr?
Nope this should be it for now. *She gives her prescription and a chitshit along with it and hinted her to read it alone after she goes home.*
RajVi Palace
Jhanvi went inside washroom to freshen up, she quickly reads the note that Dr.K gave her. it reads:
"Jhanvi Viraaj's past said almost more than 90% of his problem, I still need to find out about his father, but he is not strong enough to go through that. He will be hurt much more if I ask him about his father. I need you to be with him. Give him ur love, support, care. Make sure he takes his medicine, today was just a starting point. There is no one named Abhi. He is imagining him. There was never any other person in the mirror. He talks to the second person in him. Plz don't be afraid he will get fine. U need to have patience and try to calm him with ur love and make sure he doesn't get stress. I have already prescribed him strong dose so that he can sleep well and he will be better but it will take time."
Jhanvi: here have this soup. It's ur fav right Viraaj? I have also made palak paneer, fried rice. Ur favorite food.
She turns on Hume Tumse Pyaar Kitna song..
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_suG7Ndu58[/YOUTUBE]
CC: Sneha⭐️
After that romantic dinner she gives him medicine.
CC: Faraan⭐️
He is very happy...just looking at her...he took the medicine...
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9NTnp7BI6E&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]
CC: Faraan⭐️
That night he slept well. The next morning it clicks 9 am. He is still asleep. Jhanvi is already with his breakfast and routine. She comes in the room. She looks at him..and thinks.. Lord please cure him...i wish he becomes better..i want to see him happy. i want to us happy..please keep things good always..😳
Edited by Krrish87_sweet - 13 years ago

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