Part Two
"Aap ne sahi kaha tha, Omkara ji. Hum kabhi garbhvathi the hi nahi" she whispered to him with her eyes closed. Omkara did not believe what he had just heard. Or maybe he had simply misjudged what she actually meant to say? Just to give her and himself another chance to listen, understand and interpret the words she just uttered, he asked, "What?" Gauri's eyes fluttered open at his shocked, breathless voice, as if his breath had been sucked out of his lungs. With his hands no longer wrapped around her, he shifted a couple of inches away from her so that he could take a good look at her face when she was going to repeat what she had just spoken. Gulping a nervous breath, Gauri sat up on the bed with her back towards him, and mimicking her action, Omkara too sat up. "Humne bahut baar koshish kee thi, Omkara ji, aap ko sacch bataane ka. Magar hum mein himmat hi nahi hui thi aapse yeh kehne, ki hum kabhi garbhvathi the hi nahi."
An eerie silence fell in the room. Omkara refused to say anything, and Gauri had no courage to turn around and look at his face. Seconds passed by. "Humne yeh sab sirf aapke liye kiya, Omkara ji" Gauri finally spoke after a few more seconds passed by. Turning around slowly, she looked at Omkara, who sat staring at the floor, as if he had been frozen. A fresh pain sliced through her heart, and she crawled on her fours to where Omkara was sitting numb. She dared to inch closer to him and with trembling hands, she cupped his face, "Meri taraf dekhiye Omkara ji. Humne yeh sab sirf aapke liye kiya, aapko bachane, aapko BuaMaa ke asli iraade dikhaane ke liye" Omkara looked at her face; her innocent face which was capable of melting stone. The very same innocence that he'd began to fall for; the innocence which was so refreshing and pure that he was willing to question his own conscience about his opinions he had of her; the innocence that made his heart convince his mind that she wasn't as bad as he had thought; her innocence where he was almost going to let his heart win over his mind; the innocence that she had been faking all this while.
And just like that, in a blink of an eye, the love, warmth, care and sensitivity had evaporated away from him. Gauri shivered when she saw that raw rage on his face. He held her wrists that rested on his face and in a deathly grip, he pulled her hands away from his face. Without another word, he rose from the bed and yanking her arm, he dragged her out of his room. Gauri struggled to free her hand but his grip was stronger. Daadi, Jhanvi, Shivaay and Rudra, who were seated in the living room discussing about a party to be thrown for Priyanka's first birthday post marriage, were shocked to see a raging Omkara dragging a bitterly-crying Gauri out in the corridor. "Omkara, kya kar raha hai tu? Chhodo usey" Daadi panicked and screamed at Omkara, who refused to hear the old lady's plea. A confused Jhanvi asked Omkara as to what happened, to which he did not utter a reply. "Om, Stop right there!" Shivaay commanded and Omkara stopped in his track. Shivaay ran up to a nervous Gauri and freed her hand from Om's tight grip. Gauri hissed in pain, crying bitterly, as Shivaay examined the dark red marks his fingers had left on her wrist. "Pagal ho gaya hai kya, Om? Kya haal kar diya bechaari ka? What is wrong with you?" Shivaay looked at Gauri's tear-stricken face and her bruised wrist.
Omkara laughed cynically, "Bechaari? Zara poocho apne iss bechaari Gauri se ke usne hum sab ke saath kitna bada dhoka kiya?" Omkara's words left everyone stunned. Turning to the woman who claimed to be so innocent and true, with Shivaay still standing next to her, Omkara grit his teeth as he spoke in a low growl, "Tum khud bata rahi ho sabko, ya main bataaun?" Gauri fell silent and looked at the floor, "Please Omkara ji, humare iraade galat nahi..." "Don't you dare!" Omkara growled back in wrath, cutting her sentence in between.
Turning towards his family members and pointing towards Gauri, he said in an icy tone, "Iss aurat ne hum sab se jhoot bola ke woh pregnant thi. Sacch toh yeh hai ke woh kabhi pregnant thi hi nahi. Usne pregnancy ka naatak kiya. Aur jis bacche ke khone pe hum sab maatham mana rahe the, asal mein woh baccha kabhi tha hi nahi. Everything was a lie." Shivaay looked at Gauri. No, there was no way Gauri could stage such a huge drama. Shivaay was sure that there had to be some sort of misunderstanding between the two. "Gauri? Yeh Om kya bol raha hai?" Jhanvi asked in shock, while Gauri kept crying without saying a word.
"I don't believe you, Om" Shivaay placed his arm on Gauri's shoulder and pulled her, his little sister who called him Bade Bhaiyya, in for an embrace. "You know I don't lie, Shivaay!" Om said without looking at him. Shivaay shook his head, "I know you don't lie, but i also know that Gauri wouldn't do such a thing." Looking at Gauri, he shook her slightly, "Kuch bolo, Gauri. Om kya bol raha hai?" Gauri broke down into tears. "Humne jo kuch bhi kiya, Omkara ji ke bhale ke liye kiya. Hum sacch bol rahe hain ke..." "SHUT UP!" Om said and she flinched in fear, "Just shut up. Tumhare mooh se sacchai jaise shabdh acche nahi lagte. Tum sabko bass itna bata do ke jo bhi maine kaha, woh sacch hai ya nahi..."
Gauri looked at Omkara, who refused to look at her face, and in a meek voice she surrendered, "Omkara ji sacch bol rahe hain..." Shivaay's grip on her shoulder slipped away, and Gauri looked at his footsteps retreating away from her, clearly upset by her lie, "Bade bhaiyya, humne kabhi nahi chaha ke hamare jhoot ke wajah se kisi ka bhi dil toot jaaye. Hum sirf aap sab ko BuaMaa ki asliyath dikhana chahte the, bass. Ismein hamara apna swarth nahi tha. Bade bhaiyya..." Shivaay looked at her, and she could see the trust he had in her breaking apart slowly. "Gauri, yeh jhoot bolne se pehle tumne yeh nahi socha ke tum hamare jazbaton ke sath khel rahi ho?" Gauri gasped at Shivaay's words, "Bade bhaiyya, aisa nahi..." "Mujhe bade bhaiyya bolne ka haq tum kho chuki ho, Gauri." Gauri shook her head as she felt a numbing dread spread through her at his words as he continued, "Hum sab ne tumhe iss parivar ka hissa maana tha. I know, ke tum BuaMaa ke iradon bare mein hamein batana chahti thi, magar itna bada jhoot?"
Gauri wiped her tears and sniffed her nose, "Humne Omkara ji ko batane ki koshish ki thi. Lekin unhone mera yakeen hi nahi kiya. Yakeen door ki baat hai, unhone toh meri baat tak nahin suni. Toh maine..." Shivaay raised a finger to stop her from talking, "Toh, tumhe mujhse baat karni chahiye thi. Ya phir, tum Badi Mom se ya Dadi se yeh baat share kar sakti thi..." "Humne baat karne ki koshish ki thi, bade bhaiyye, lekin..." Shivaay shook his head, "Tumhare iss jhoot se tumne BuaMaa ki asliyat toh dikha di, lekin issi jhoot ke beech tumne bahut saare jazbaat andekhe kar diye, Gauri"
Shivaay walked up to Daadi, "Tumhe pata hai jab tumhare miscarriage ki khabar aayi, toh Daadi ne hum sab ko kasam di thi, ke jab tak tum uss shock se recover nahi ho jaati, tab tak hum mein se koi bhi tumhare saamne bacche ke bare mein baat tak nahi karega." Looking at Jhanvi, he continued, "Aur Badi Mom? She was so excited, tumhari pregnancy ko lekar. Unhone toh kitne sare plans bhi banaye the, Yeh tak soch rahi thi ke baby ke kamre ke deewaron ka rang kya hoga" Looking at the floor, he said, "Maine aur Rudra ne bhi kitni saari discussion kii thi, ke iss ghar mein Chota O daudega, ya phir ek choti Gauri" Rudra smiled sadly at the memory.
"Aur Om ke bare mein toh mujhe tumhe bataane ki zaroorat hi nahi hogi," Shivaay said, looking at Omkara standing numb, "Tumhe khud pata hoga." Gauri looked up at Omkara; he didn't bother looking back at her. "Hamein maaf kar deejiye. Hum bass Omkara ji ki bhalai chahte the..." At this point, Omkara looked at her with unreadable expressions. Taking her by her arm, he walked in long quick strides, and in one push from him, she was on the other side of the threshold of the Mansion. It happened so quickly that Gauri didn't even have the time to react.
"Omkara..." Daadi cried out, "Sunn toh lo beta, ke woh kya kehna chahti hai? Uusne teri jaan bachaayi. Uski wajah se humein Dolly ke bare mein..." Omkara continued to glare at Gauri while he raised a hand to interrupt Daadi. "She doesn't deserve it, Daadi. Humse jhoot bol ke, haemin dhoka de ke, iss aurat ne iss ghar mein rehne ka haq kho diya." Taking a deep breath, he said in a hissed breath, "Get out, Gauri Kumari Sharma"
"Lekin Omkara ji..." "I SAID GET OUT" Omkara bellowed and his voice echoed in the huge halls of the mansion. Gauri looked at Daadi and Jhanvi, and both seemed to give her sympathetic looks. Shivaay looked at the floor as he said in a defeated sigh, "Tumne apne bade bhaiyya ke guroor ko tod diya hai, Gauri" Rudra too looked at her in a sad defeat. A whole minute passed, before Omkara spoke again, "Tum kitni besharam ho, haan? Tumhari samajh mein nahi aata? GO AWAY!" Gauri stood at the threshold looking at him. She knew he would be mad at her, and he had every right to do so. But she at least wanted him to learn the truth and understand her point of view. "Omkara ji, please ek baar..." And that was it. Omkara held her by her arm and dragged her outside the main door of the house, not before warning anyone to not come in between him and the woman who lied to him.
The passage from the main door to the main gate felt like it a million miles. Omkara recalled all those times when he had cared for her; everything was a lie. She had made a fool out of him, while he genuinely cared for her. "Omkara ji, hum maante hain humein jhoot nahi bolna chahiye tha, par aap samajhne ki koshish kijiye, hamare paas koi aur chaara nahi tha. Humne bina wajah aapse jhoot nahi bola tha." Omkara pushed her towards the huge iron gate of the Oberoi Mansion, "SHUT UP!" he yelled at her, before he moved a couple of steps away.
A few seconds later, she saw his expression soften; he looked more... pained and broken. Omkara placed his hand on his chest, "Tumne jhoot mujhe BuaMaa se bachaane ke liye kaha tha, kyunki woh mujhe hurt karna chahti thi, right?" With tear-filled eyes, she nodded her head. Omkara hung his head low and spoke in a low voice laced with defeat, "Lekin BuaMaa se zyada hurt toh mujhe tumne kiya, Gauri. Jiss bacche se mujhe itna lagaav, itna pyaar hua tha, woh kabhi tha hi nahi." Looking up at her, his eyes welled up with tears and with an angry voice he said, "Jab tumne apna pregnancy announce kiya tha, tab maine tumse poocha tha ke kya tum sacch mein pregnant ho? Tumse test bhi karwaya. Lekin tum toh itni chaalak nikli; itni asaani se sabko bewakoof banaya. Apne Shankar bhagwan ko bahut maanthi thi na? Ussi bhagwan ki jhooti kasam khaayi?" He raised his hand, warning her not to interrupt him, "Kuch nahi bologi tum! Aaj main bolunga, aur tum sunogi, kyunki tum ab jo bhi bologi, sirf jhoot hi bologi!" Wiping away his tears with the edge of his kurta-sleeve, he continued, "Jab tumhe pair mein goli lagi thi, toh tumhe andaaza bhi nahi hua hoga ke mujh par kya guzri thi. Shayad BuaMaa sirf bacche ke liye pareshan thi, lekin main... main tumhare liye pareshan tha, kyunki uss waqt mere liye tumse zyada kuch bhi matter nahi hua; uss bacche ka khayal bhi nahi aaya mujhe. Parvah thi, toh sirf tumhari. Aur jab maine sonography mein uski dhadkan suni, tab ehsaas hua ke tumhare andar ek nanhi si jaan hai, jo mera bhi hissa hai. Mere bacche ki dhadkan thi... Lekin woh bhi jhoot tha."
He looked at her face drenched in tears, "Hamare beech ki sari nafrat ko main bhool jaane ko tayyar tha, kyunki main nahi chahta tha ke mere bacche ka bachpan usi tarah se guzre, jiss tarah se mera tha; kyunki mujhse behtar koi nahi samajh sakta ke maa-baap ke rishte ke tanaav mein, unke bacchon ki zindagi pe kaisa asar padtha hai!" "Omkara ji..." Gauri took two steps towards him, and he took three steps back, "Don't you dare; mere paas bhi mat aana" "Omkara ji, hum jaante hain aap gusse mein hai aur..." "Gussa?" Omkara laughed bitterly, "Tumne jo kiya, ussey main gussa nahi hoon Gauri. I'm not angry. I'm broken! Devastated! Pehle mujhe guilty-feel karaya ke mere nashe ke kaaran tum pregnant ho gayi. Usske baad, yeh jaante hue bhi ke mujhe jhhot se kitni nafrat hai, tum mujhse jhoot pe jhoot bolti rahi. Tum jaanti ho ke family mere liye kya matter karta hai. Iske bawajood tumne mere family ke jazbaaton ka mazaak banaya; mujhe ek aise rishte mein bandhe rakha jismein sirf aur sirf jhoot tha. Mere emotions ke saath khela." Pausing for a while and running his fingers through his hair, he said in a soft whisper, "Uss bacche se pyaar kar baitha, jo kabhi tha hi nahi. Ek aisi aurat se pyaar kar baitha, jiske mooh se jhoot ke alawa kabhi kuch nikla hi nahi."
Gauri looked at him in shock, now coming to terms with the actual gravity of her lies, while his feelings lay open in front of her. "Omkara ji, mera tareeka galat tha, lekin mere iraade aapko takleef dene ki nahi the..." Omkara walked up to her and gripped both her arms, "Takleef? Pata bhi hai tumhe ke takleef kya hoti hai?" He dragged her back into the house and took her straight to the studio. The rest of the family members followed the two of them, but stayed outside the room, because even if they disliked Gauri's way of bringing forth the truth, they all knew how much she loved him; her eyes had always reflected the awe and love she had for him; the family had also seen the love that shone in Omkara's eyes for Gauri; and they also knew how dangerous Om's anger was.
"Takleef nahi dena chahthi thi... takleef nahi dena..." Om kept muttering as he dragged out a wooden box from behind the stack of various canvases and paintings. Opening the box, he pulled out a few rolled up paper charts and threw them at her, "Dekho isko; dekho tumhare jhoot ne muhje kitni takleef dee hai." Gauri bent and picked up the charts. They were charcoal sketches- of a baby girl. A few sketches portrayed a pregnant Gauri. There was another picture painted- A family- and she recognised the ones sketched in the picture- Omkara, Gauri and a baby girl, playing on the floor with several toys around. "Jab uss miscarriage ki news mujhe mili, toh main tumhare saamne strong bana, kyunki main tumhe aur dard nahi dena chahta tha. Lekin jab tum yahan, bed rest ke naam par araam se so rahi thi, tab main Daadi ke godh mein sarr rakh kar ro raha tha uss marey hue bacche ko na bacha pane ke afsos mein. Maine dadi se kaha bhi tha, ke agar main uss din tumhare paas hota, toh shayad main apne bacche ko bacha sakta tha. I had believed that I failed as a Father!" Omkara fell on his knees to the floor and looked at all the sketches and paintings fallen around, "And in the end, it was all a betrayal, a dream, jo kabhi tha hi nahi..."
Gauri closed her eyes and let fresh tears stream down her cheeks, "Maine aapko bataane ki koshish kii thi, Omkara ji. Aapne sahi kaha tha ke main iss ghar mein rukne ke liye bahane bana rahi thi; lekin main sirf issliye rukna chahti thi kyunki mujhe pata tha ke aap ko BuaMaa se khatra tha. Maine Shankar ji ki jhooti kasam nahi khaayi thi; bass yeh kaha tha ke hamare mann mein koi saazish nahi tha, aur yehi sacch tha, yehi sacch hai." Everyone was silent watching Gauri speak, while Omkara was still on his knees, in tears. "Harr minute, har ghadi mujhe yeh baat khaayi ja rahi thi ke aap sab bacche ke saath aisa connection bana rahe hain; woh baccha jiska jhoot humne BuaMaa ke sach ko bahar lane ke liye kaha tha. Mujhe baar baar aapko sacch batane ka mann kiya, lekin mujh mein himmat hi nahi thi. Main darr gayi thi ke main aapko kho doongi."
Gauri opened her eyes and looked at Omkara, still on his knees. "Tumne mujhe kho diya hai, Gauri. Mera vishwas bikhar kar toot gaya hai. Itne mahino se tum mujhe bewakoof banati rahi aur main bewakoof banta raha." Omkara spoke in a soft sigh, "I opened my heart to you. I never lied to you. I almost fell in love with you, Gauri. ALMOST. Tumne mere pyar ka, mere yakeen ka mazaak bana diya." "Omkara ji, sorry..." "Nahi Gauri, tumhare sorry ka koi matlab nahi hai." Listening to his weary voice, Gauri sat on the floor, in front of him, "Aisa mat boliye Omkara ji. Hum sacch mein aapse bohot prem karte hain. Aapki pooja karte hain..." "Aur isiliye mujhe dhoka diya, mujhse itna bada jhoot bola, mere yakeen ka mazaak udaaya, right?"
Gauri fell silent; she couldn't convince him no matter what she said. He had already branded her as a liar, and for toying with everyone's emotions, she knew she deserved it. Omkara pulled the sketches from her hand and threw them on the floor. Standing up and walking to the table, he picked up a match-box and threw a burning match at the pile of his sketches. "Nahi..." Gauri uttered and almost jumped at the burning flames that were eating away those happy dreams which her Omkara ji once dreamed of, but Daadi came ahead and pulled Gauri back so that she wouldn't burn herself.
Gauri ran up to Omkara ji, "Mujhe afsos hai ke mujhe aapko dhoka dena pada, aapse jhoot bolna pada, lekin main majboor thi Omkara ji." Wiping away her tears, she held his arms, "Aap bataiye main kya karoon; aisa kya karron ke aap mujhe maaf kar sakein? Aap jo bolenge main woh karungi. Agar aapki maafi ke liye humein apni jaan se keemat chukaani pade, toh woh bhi karne ko tayyar hain hum, lekin ek baar mujhe maaf kar dijiye."
Omkara looked at her, pushed her hands away, gripped her shoulders and shook her, "You really want my forgiveness? Toh ek kaam karo." He pointed at the pile of ash where his sketches, his dreams had burnt away. "Take this ash and make it like before. Iss ko pehle ki tarah banado, phir maaf karunga." Saying this, he pulled her along as he sat next to the ash, and he picked up a handful of dust. "Bana sakti ho isko pehle ki tarah? Nahi na? Iss ko koi bhi pehle ki tarah nahi bana sakta. Na tum, na main, na koi aur." Omkara swallowed hard as he spoke, "Aur haan, inn sketches ki tarah, hamara rishta bhi jal kar khaak ho gaya hai. Tumne meri zindagi barbaad kar di, Gauri. Pata nahi tum meri zindagi mein aayi hi kyun." Gauri gasped as she heard the words she anticipated; she wasn't ready for those words to slice through her heart and twist it so hard, "Tum ab meri koi nahi lagti; Issey pehle tum mujhe aur barbaad kar sako, dafa ho jaao meri zindagi se."
A moment passed by, and Gauri sat numb on the floor. Omkara rose from where he sat, and walked away to another room, without a glance at the woman whom he once called his wife; the mother of his non-existent daughter. Gauri looked at the ashes on the floor; a mocking metaphor to the mess she had created, not just for herself but for the whole family; especially for her Omkara ji. She had called him her God; she had proclaimed her adulation and devotion for him; she had sworn to be his shield. Yet she was the one who broke him beyond repair. She released a wretched sob that did no justice to the pain she had given to her husband. She looked at her ashen hands and then looked up at the only person who stood with her in the room- Daadi. "Yeh humse kya ho gaya, Daadi?" Daadi only hugged her, understanding that whatever Gauri had done, she had done it out of love for him.
Minutes later, after Daadi had left her to be alone for some time, Gauri stood up, wiping her tears away. She deserved this punishment for making her Omkara ji's life a living hell. She broke him beyond repair, to an extent that he would perhaps fear trusting anyone henceforth. "Aapke nafrat ke kaabil bhi nahi hain hum, Omkara ji." Heaving a tired sigh, she continued talking to herself, "Hum aap pe hamara manhoos saaya bhi padne nahi denge; aapki zindagi ko aur barbaad nahi karenge" Washing her hands in the sink, she looked at her unrecognizable reflection; her eyes swollen and red-rimmed, and her kohl-smudged tear-stricken cheeks. With a sad smile on her lips, reminiscing all those happy times she'd spent in the Oberoi Mansion, she packed her tiny bag and walked towards the main door. With every step she took, she looked with a heavy heart at what she was forced to leave behind. This place was where she had found a family; a meaning to her life. And this was where she destroyed it herself. "Alvida, Omkara ji. Chalte hain..." she said to the empty walls as she whispered her final goodbye to him and everyone else who once called her their own.
"Jin ko Khuda maana, unhi ko khafa kar diya.
Apne haaton se hi apne muhabbat ko fanaa kar diya.
Banne chale the hum paasbaan unke hayat ke,
aur unhi ke muskurahat ka sifar kar diya"
Edited by dbo_savina - 8 years ago
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
