Acceptance of immigrant students? - Page 4

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

How was I harsh on fobs? At least i did not call them names like "they are crap" or "crackheads" etc..😕 I said I did not mingle with them just because they happened to come from the same country/region that my grandparents did. I choose my friends for who they are and not because of where they come from. yes I don't go out of my way to go talk to them but neither do I for people from other nationalities.

I did talk about my experience with "those fobs", and majority do have problems with staring and other personality traits that annoys me.

I am sorry if I hurt your feelings here but you did generalise a lot...did you not? I mean I was an FOB once too and I have seen numerous FOBs during my school days here but most of them were not like what you explained when you talked about leching.

I do agree a lot with what you wrote in your second post here on this page. Even I come across a lot of desis who can't stop harping about how well off they were back home. Yeah, they get on my nerves too. I also do not like to blindly run down american culture and praise indian. but, the truth is that indians do have closer knit families. I agree that exceptions are everywhere but still, we do have a closer knit family and tendency to put family before ourselves.

yer.a.fob, I did not mean to come harsh on you but I did sense from your previous posts that you did not give these FOBs enough chance to form a firm opinion about them. May be they look at you b/c they recognize you as someone having Indian roots and waiting for some sort of reaction...like a smile or something...to, may be, start a conversation. In India, people usually do not smile at strangers. this concept is new to them so they don't know in the beginning that they can break the ice by smiling...rather than by staring.

Let's face it, most of these FOBs are really smart people to get not only admission here but also a scholarship/teaching assistance. I find it hard to believe that these guys will lech at ABD girls. The culture here is a bit alien for them in the beginning.

I hope I clarified where I am coming from. Please do not feel bad. I totally identify with some of the things you said....but not all😊

there is so much stereotyping going on here! but i guess thats what we all do.

not all ABD are snobs, crackheads, crap etc etc. and not all of them are embarrassed to be seen around FOBS. you cant put all the blame on the kids either.....most of the time its the parents who have somehow failed in their responsibilty to teach their kids tolerance and acceptance of others.

secondly, regarding the staring issue.....my dad always says, "how would you know they're staring at you unless your staring back at them."

we ALL have staring problems....its in our blood i tell you! 😆

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

no its cool, I'm just a bit hungover from last night (oh no what happened to my Bharatiya sanskar 😊 ) so sorry if i sounded like i was lashing out, I wasn't.. 😊

😆 it's okay. you did try to explain it good😊

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

we ALL have staring problems....its in our blood i tell you! 😆

🤣😆 I can not agree with you more here MJ. It is in the desi gene pool!! 😉

Originally posted by: V.T.

but i got to admit after entering college i seen an mature side of ABCD's and i dont ignore them anymore. i just think these things only happen in Middle school,highschool cause it has more drama and most of the desi's try to act like crack head's esp the desi girls..wannnabeeeess🤢

I agree with the bolded part. Identity crisis is a major phenomenon while in high school. I have to admit, after coming to college, all differences are forgotten and it's great when all desis come together for the Diwali and the Holi shows for Indian Association. During high school, I remember all these orgs being led by ABDs and the IBDs were always sidelined and were always offered the back-stage stuff.. thinking them to be some inferiors. Maybe not intentionally, but these things were done and I am sure it hurt the people towards whom this kind of behavior was aimed.

But thing about desi girls being the wannabees, I don't think so. Everyone, desi or non-desi, wants to be cool and popular while in high school. Even a white girl wants to be popular like the other preppy girls. It's not just the desi girls, everyone craves for attention. There is no need to be 🤢 about it!! 😊

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

🤣😆 I can not agree with you more here MJ. It is in the desi gene pool!! 😉

i'm staring at you right now. 😉 😆

even if there might not be initial acceptance by ABCDs of FOBs, at the end of the evening they all come home. and that usually happens when they start working, or after they are married and need sober friends to match their boring lifestyles. however it is, most everyone eventually discovers the desi in himself/ herself. just like that line "savere ka bhoola" 😉

Originally posted by: chatbuster

even if there might not be initial acceptance by ABCDs of FOBs, at the end of the evening they all come home. and that usually happens when they start working, or after they are married and need sober friends to match their boring lifestyles. however it is, most everyone eventually discovers the desi in himself/ herself. just like that line "savere ka bhoola" 😉

😆😆... thats right aur tab accents kaam nahi aate?... But, you are right CB... after the two stages mentioned one really cant act snobbish...phir bhi dil hai hindustani kinda scenario's kick in...

Originally posted by: chatbuster

even if there might not be initial acceptance by ABCDs of FOBs, at the end of the evening they all come home. and that usually happens when they start working, or after they are married and need sober friends to match their boring lifestyles. however it is, most everyone eventually discovers the desi in himself/ herself. just like that line "savere ka bhoola" 😉

Ah! Finally the master-starer speaks up 😉

😆 Baba re... I'm gone a weekend you lot let loose! 😛

The thing with college, especially in the US, is that it is a meeting ground for people from all walks of life. You're in a close community of people who are as similar as chalk and cheese and no more different than you'd like to think. You are forced into acceptance, learning about others or resorting to violent opposition. A majority choose to learn about the "others" and "accept" them. And in such a situation FOBs and ABCDs (or ABFOBs) really aren't all that different.

And now with the influx of Indian students on most campuses, you really can't help but hang out with them and get along with them 😉 😆

Just a mini-point... we've got an Indian Association group on campus (encompassing all South Asians, Guyanese and others). Membership runs the gamot from just gotten off the plane from India to 3rd generation to be born in the States. A need for familiarity draws the former group and a curiosity pulls in the latter. Everyone gets along, learning from one another about a culture that is different to them.

Originally posted by: simtara

Ah! Finally the master-starer speaks up 😉

😆 Baba re... I'm gone a weekend you lot let loose! 😛

The thing with college, especially in the US, is that it is a meeting ground for people from all walks of life. You're in a close community of people who are as similar as chalk and cheese and no more different than you'd like to think. You are forced into acceptance, learning about others or resorting to violent opposition. A majority choose to learn about the "others" and "accept" them. And in such a situation FOBs and ABCDs (or ABFOBs) really aren't all that different.

And now with the influx of Indian students on most campuses, you really can't help but hang out with them and get along with them 😉 😆

Just a mini-point... we've got an Indian Association group on campus (encompassing all South Asians, Guyanese and others). Membership runs the gamot from just gotten off the plane from India to 3rd generation to be born in the States. A need for familiarity draws the former group and a curiosity pulls in the latter. Everyone gets along, learning from one another about a culture that is different to them.

lol. actually i know a lot of FOBs have certain die-hard habits, staring being one of them😆, but on the other hand, why are ABCDs so confused? is it a case of dhobi and that famous ghat? 😉