Acceptance of immigrant students? - Page 3

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

I don't like fob guys staring at me, guys in general can be pervy but at least don't make it so friggin obvious???

I don't go talk to the immigrant students. But that is just because I don't go out of my way to be friends with someone just because they're desi. I choose my friends because of factors like compatibility, taste etc and not because of where they come from.

Desi girls can are very catty too specially towards girls who are better looking than them. They always give you evil looks.

I also don't advertize that I'm desi either. I like to be mysterious. 😃

😆 I thought that's a universal problem....not just a desi problem sweetie😆😆😆

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

It is more common on desi vs desi girls. Like they give evil looks to other desi girls more than say white or hispanic or other girls.. They also make it very obvious (just like their male counterpart). Also when they stare at you and you see them and you smile, they don't smile back. what is up with dat?

hahaha. I am with you here!!! Even I wonder what's up with that??? wish I had an aswer for you.

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

It is more common on desi vs desi girls. Like they give evil looks to other desi girls more than say white or hispanic or other girls.. They also make it very obvious (just like their male counterpart). Also when they stare at you and you see them and you smile, they don't smile back. what is up with dat?

oh u sure u're meeting the right desi guys? that or maybe they're not really "amoosed" at what they see? could be, no?😉😃

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

Since the talk abut accent it going on, a very prevalent topic came in my mind.

Scenario: Shyam, 12, comes from India with his parents and is admitted in a public school of New Jersey. Coming from India, he obviously tries to communicate with other Indians around before non-desis. Neil (the spoilt Indian brat born in America) and gang totally ignore him and he later finds himself amidst the white and the black population and feels more accepted than he was with his fellow brown mates.

How wrong or right is this?

i think it's understandable for the Neil types to ignore the FOB guy. guys can be jealous too. the FOB guy is probably a know-it-all, aces all his exams, and is probably headed to great things. that and the fact that he's probably not another fat Neil who looks like he's been injected with some inflating steroids. so makes sense. that jealousy.😉

now Nelly ignoring the FOB, well, what can i say? Nelly's loss?

Having been on almost both the sides of the scene, I understand the Neil part of the story as well. They don't want to be associated with these so-called FOBs for the primary reason, that they don't want anyone to think that they are like them as well. After coming to college, I meet international grad students from India all the time and I totally avoid some of them when I am with some of my American born friends. I do feel guilty about this later but then make it a point to go and tell them hi the next day without fail!

And the Shyam part of the story affects some more than the other. When I joined high school in 11^th, I did not face too much of a problem. My English did not have much of a FOBby accent and that made it okay for people to talk to me and I did not dress like behnjis and that made all the difference in the world. Some other people, who came at around the same time as me, were totally ignored.

Right/ wrong?

life's unfair. earlier one understands that, earlier one stops whining and earlier one starts doing the things that gets them what they want. if that's acceptance from their peers, that's what they should go for. though i'd not recommend bothering with that. if you got character and personality, people will come to you, not the other way around.😊

Is there anything parents can do to prevent this discrimination?

no what? kids have to lead their own lives. how long and far can mommy follow? yes, if discrimination from the neil types bothers them, then they can help their kid make the superficial adjustments so that he/ she can get past minor aspects to the other important things in school. get the kid some decent clothes for starters. get him into some accent correction course for another.😊

Originally posted by: yer.a.fob

I'm sorry if I hit a nerve there it wasn't intentional. and "right desi" guys? I'm sorry but majority of them act like this, the right ones must like not leave their houses then.😕

😉nvmd😉😆

Originally posted by: V.T.

i have to agree with rutu. YES DESI KIDS BORN HERE ARE CRAP. no sorry no offense to anyone. they have no respect of no-one. no wonder i didnt keep INDIAN friends in school expect some born from india and pakistanis. yes they do ignore the fobs. i had the same experinece that the person above had. plus i hang out with more white,blacks,mex than indians. try and step in my feet when i entered 5th grade with No-english at all. looking at future right now. looking at right now. i had changed for better. from hanging out with white's my music taste changed to heavy metal and rap and style of clothing too. its better to keep my self away from desi's. esp the rich one's in katy who shop at the retail store i work at and act rich. I laught @ them.😊

I am heading to bed right now but just wanted to clarify that I did not say that they were crap. 😊

Will edit it tomorrow.

Originally posted by: V.T.

but i got to admit after entering college i seen an mature side of ABCD's and i dont ignore them anymore. i just think these things only happen in Middle school,highschool cause it has more drama and most of the desi's try to act like crack head's esp the desi girls..wannnabeeeess🤢

I am reading both sides of debate here and getting this picture that somewhere down the line, there's a miscommunication between the "FOBs" and "ABCDs"....the two terms used here on this thread.

I personally think that there are exceptions everywhere. I was an FOB once and my kids are born and brought up here. Since I did not go to grade school here, I do not know the problems FOBs face there. At college , I never felt any coldness in ABDs towards me. May be the fact that I was a non-traditional student worked in my favor. I was friendly with both types.

Reading V.T.'s posts gives me an idea what to watch out for in my kids😆 and reading you.r.fob's posts only tells me that some ABDs here do come really harsh on FOBs.

Loved reading everyone's views here. Unfortunately, do not identify with either group here😊

Originally posted by: V.T.

p.s. i hope gauri and qt will teach their kids about india and indians so they dont ignore FOB's . i seen some parents sending their kids off to india...

V.T., my kids go to India at least once every two years. Last three years, they have been there every year. They are very rooted....at least what I see at home. I'll talk to them about school and FOBs to figure out how they are at school😊 This thread has been an eye opener for me.

Personally, the kind of feild I am in, sometimes Indian auditors come on rotation and are working for our external auditors. Some of them have been out of the country for the first time and usually very young. I make it a point to take them around Houston and invite them to my place atleast once. Hopefully, kids will learn from this experience😊 They enjoy Indian company a lot....no matter what ages the people are.