Acceptance of immigrant students?

Since the talk abut accent it going on, a very prevalent topic came in my mind.

Scenario: Shyam, 12, comes from India with his parents and is admitted in a public school of New Jersey. Coming from India, he obviously tries to communicate with other Indians around before non-desis. Neil (the spoilt Indian brat born in America) and gang totally ignore him and he later finds himself amidst the white and the black population and feels more accepted than he was with his fellow brown mates.

How wrong or right is this?

Having been on almost both the sides of the scene, I understand the Neil part of the story as well. They don't want to be associated with these so-called FOBs for the primary reason, that they don't want anyone to think that they are like them as well. After coming to college, I meet international grad students from India all the time and I totally avoid some of them when I am with some of my American born friends. I do feel guilty about this later but then make it a point to go and tell them hi the next day without fail!

And the Shyam part of the story affects some more than the other. When I joined high school in 11^th, I did not face too much of a problem. My English did not have much of a FOBby accent and that made it okay for people to talk to me and I did not dress like behnjis and that made all the difference in the world. Some other people, who came at around the same time as me, were totally ignored.

Right/ wrong?

Is there anything parents can do to prevent this discrimination?

Rutu, are you trying to say that desi kids born and brought up here are not comfortable with their identity. Therefore, they ignore the FOBs?

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Rutu, are you trying to say that desi kids born and brought up here are not comfortable with their identity. Therefore, they ignore the FOBs?

I am not sure if that's the reason why they avoid the immigrants. It could be one of the reasons though! I posted this topic for the same reason, I wanted to know what you all think are the reasons due to which FOBs are ignored.

People, like me, are SNOBS! 😆

I started out in high school in US in 10th grade, and to be honest, I haven't had to deal with any of what you describe. It's possible cause I was (maybe am) the introverted kind, and didn't talk to pretty much anybody unless I had to. Maybe, what you describe is more prevalent in areas where there are more immigrant families.

About the accent, even I have hard time understanding the thick accent at times, but I don't look down upon it. Like, I said, I am a snob, but I have never looked down upon people for their culture/identiy (education, ettiquates, yes) and don't have it in me to IGNORE people at all. No matter what! However, I dont' like to wear clothes that are tooooooooooo Indian unless I am going someplace where desis are there.... it has nothing to do with identity/failing to recognize I am an INDIAN, but cause I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and don't like to stand out like a sore thumb.

as for why American born Desis can't/dont' interact with 'FOBS' as you call them... could be several reasons

1. Snobbish attitude
2. Can't relate to each other/ "think" they are different
3. takes time to assimilate with each other
4. Maybe "think", they will be outcast 😆
5. Embarased!

Well, for some reason... the underlying cause seems to be snobbish attitude for all 5 above. 😆 😆

Now I am worried; I am moving down to TX, and 60% of the grad school population is international (read, mostly Indian)... wonder what is in store for me. 😭 😳 Phew!

Persy

Yo Rutu...good point made there!


I've been on both sides like you too..n I totally agree with you on what you said. I guess ...as the world comes closer n closer, these things will not be an issue after sometime. I can see the change already i think. Everytime I go back to India once in two years.. and an evening out and I suddenly see a big change everytime in dressing styles, conversation styles, topics of discussions, independance....everything changes and is changing. Hopefully generations after us will face this a bit less I think.

I faced a big problem cus of the accent of the kids out here, I always felt left out initially ..n can imagine what kids comin from India might be facing on that front even now in UK...buh besides that, I think things are changing and dun think parents will have to put in much in the coming years.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Rutu, are you trying to say that desi kids born and brought up here are not comfortable with their identity. Therefore, they ignore the FOBs?

You mean the shyam in the example is a case of FOB!!? Freight On
Board... thats veri rude way of referring to immigrants.... or is that euphemism for SOBs? (I meant sons of bundelkhand...before you get any ideas...)

😆😆😆

living in the most immigrant filled city in USA...I've witnessed and experienced this uncountable times. Born and raised here, ive never had to go through the shayam situation. But I have been in neel's shoes many times. Usually, i dont mind hanging out with the fobs (in many ways...im an american born fob...if u can get wat im saying..lol) Yea the streotypical fobs are kinda embarrassing but i havnt met tht many of them (old uncles and aunties dont count...opps many of u wud fit in tht age range 😉 ..but i mean since we r talkin abt school..lets leave it to youngsters)...even the youth in india/pakistan are familiar with american culture and know english...so wen they come here, they are less of an outcast than their parents. Even so, I make sure to introduce myself and offer assistance..its the least i can do.

I think that those kids act like that with those new kids because they think that they are too good.But the main reason people are mean to other children,especially the ones who are from thier own race is because of thier insecurities.

Those 'FOBs' are not any less human are they? Just because they are from another country and are not exactly like that rest of the 'popular' teenagers,they are treated as inferiors. Instead of welcoming them and treating them with the respect they deserve,the kids just ignore them so that other people wouldn't put them in the same category...especially because they are both brown.

In High School especially,students care way too much about what other people think of them.So,even if some of them would like to help the new student,they wouldn't...worrying about what the other kids would think of them.When the truth is,since everyone is too busy worrying about themselves,they don't care about others.So,really...no one is even paying attention to any one else since they're all too self-absorbed.

In my school,the 'FOBs' do not hang out with the other kids,just with the other people who immigrated at about the same time as them.Now,I do not know if they were teased or left out but as far as I see...I did not see any of that happening.Since the new kids are shy, the children should make more of an effort to be thier friends,but it does not mean the newbies should not try at all to break out of thier shell.


When I first moved here from India,I was 8 years old and spoke very good english and barely had an accent,since I already spoke mostly english at my house in India.(I dunno why 😕 lol)It was in elementary school too so I did not face any such problems.But,who knows what people say behind your back,right?Even at such a young age. But I am very sure many kids who are new and come here during highschool...face alot of challenges,especially with the people.

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

You mean the shyam in the example is a case of FOB!!? Freight On
Board... thats veri rude way of referring to immigrants.... or is that euphemism for SOBs? (I meant sons of bundelkhand...before you get any ideas...)

😆😆😆

😆😆😆 very funny qwerty. i also think about the shipping terms whenever I see FOB----shipping, ....and think, "Gosh, who is responsible for this merchandise - the seller or the buyer😆😆😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

😆😆😆 very funny qwerty. i also think about the shipping terms whenever I see FOB----shipping, ....and think, "Gosh, who is responsible for this merchandise - the seller or the buyer😆😆😆

Since US bought into the idea it was the buyer...😊