Ethics - Should it be different here? - Page 2

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

No cutes. what does it take to do a bone marrow transplant... i mean you cant subject your second kid to the torment... See killing children...etc. has a rage aspect to it.. its not a calculated decision like put the child on teh todo of the week.. Here you are just planning to do this in a veri calculated manner... the decisions anyone takes can have a bearing on themselves but not some other, in this case a child...

BMT is painful, but there are ways to help the 2nd baby endure those pains. i know it is very painful, but it is not done constantly. I am sure the parents die a thousand deaths while putting the 2nd kid thru needle-torture, but then the other option is to bid good bye to another -- they perhaps could have saved? That is sad dilemma. it is choosing death of one kid - a permanent loss as opposed to monitored pains of another, which are not life-long 😳.

we already agree on other points it seems.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

BMT is painful, but there are ways to help the 2nd baby endure those pains. i know it is very painful, but it is not done constantly. I am sure the parents die a thousand deaths while putting the 2nd kid thru needle-torture, but then the other option is to bid good bye to another -- they perhaps could have saved? That is sad dilemma. it is choosing death of one kid - a permanent loss as opposed to monitored pains of another, which are not life-long 😳.

we already agree on other points it seems.

marrow transplant is on-going and there is no guarantee of survival either.. so besides tormenting the second one they are just playing with two lives....maybe i shouldnt even comment since parets have drastically different perspectives... and i dont think i can take that stand...😊

I shudder to imagine myself in a situation like this...

I think this one is too sensitive and personal a topic and decision to be debated !!

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

marrow transplant is on-going and there is no guarantee of survival either.. so besides tormenting the second one they are just playing with two lives....maybe i shouldnt even comment since parets have drastically different perspectives... and i dont think i can take that stand...😊

Bone Marrow transplant was a one time thing. The elder one now is in late teens and the one who donated is 9 or 10 I guess. Both are healthy and family is happy. Elder one is a cancer survivor👏.

Originally posted by: TallyHo

I shudder to imagine myself in a situation like this...

I think this one is too sensitive and personal a topic and decision to be debated !!

Ashu, it is😔. Can't even imagine myself in that parent's position. Any parent would do what these people did. Actually they have given hope to many parents who were going through similar situation.

But the reason for me posting this is different. It was about "the need for second child". Should second child always serve a purpose? Some wants a second one as a campanion for first one and in this case it is a gambling. From second child's point of view.

Maya,

even if the second child was conceived and born for a specific purpose, I dont think he will be any less to his parents...when he comes into the world, he is his own person...the love, affection, nurturing that he receives throughout his life will never be because he was brought to life to serve a 'purpose'!

and I do know of several people who have had to plan a second child for the sake of the first...be it an extreme case providing bone marrow to an ailing sibling or just to provide companionship to the old...and I consider none of these reasons as a selfish motive to bring a soul to this earth...even if it were selfish to begin with... the selfless love that he will receive for a life time would more than make up for it!!

Originally posted by: TallyHo

and I do know of several people who have had to plan a second child for the sake of the first...be it an extreme case providing bone marrow to an ailing sibling or just to provide companionship to the old...and I consider none of these reasons as a selfish motive to bring a soul to this earth...even if it were selfish to begin with... the selfless love that he will receive for a life time would more than make up for it!!

I concur with each and every line you wrote. But then again that is from parent's side.

What is the second child's POV? Just for argument sake. Not serious.The second child in this particular case didn't get the care which she was supposed to. Her parents were taking care of the first one.

Parents' love is selfless and they would never discriminate later.

As long as the second one has a secure surrounding and people to take care...grandparents for example I dont think it matters...children are very resilient and more accomodating than most adults!

and if the parents compensate for the lost time later I dont think the second child will have any permananent scars on his development/ personality!!

Originally posted by: Maya_M

Bone Marrow transplant was a one time thing. The elder one now is in late teens and the one who donated is 9 or 10 I guess. Both are healthy and family is happy. Elder one is a cancer survivor👏.

You make cancer sound like Flu and BMT like tylerol..😆 There is a high risk of auto-immune diseases there and also chemotherapy may be needed along with possible radiation therapy. All that is associated with odds going against the patient...

I dont think many cases justify this...unless you can provide a medical link to that effect or some AMA report. In a one off case... its not a guarantee.... so unless there is some high survival rate indicated... i am not sure if its worth it...

Originally posted by: TallyHo

As long as the second one has a secure surrounding and people to take care...grandparents for example I dont think it matters...children are very resilient and more accomodating than most adults!

and if the parents compensate for the lost time later I dont think the second child will have any permananent scars on his development/ personality!!

Exactly Ashu... Well said..

There are millions of children born every year and as many reasons for their coming into existence.. Life has to be looked at from a larger perspective..

What if my family member or dear friend needs a kidney or bone marrow.. Of course I will help and so will others so what difference does it make why and how one was conceived.... This is such a psycho babel and egocentric thinking that one's birth has anything to do with themselves..😕

What about parents having 2nd or 3rd or 4th child in hopes of having a son.? What about children who are abandoned or given up for adoption or abused and starved by parents or guardians. Don't these children survive and be normal as they can be .? As long as a child is not killed as in female infanticide any birth and life should be special.. Imho..