Ethics - Should it be different here?

Does anyone remember a famous case of a couple whose only child needed a bone marrow transplant because of cancer? Their blood types didn't match so only solution was to have second child who could probably be a match. They were lucky that the second child's blood type matched and bone marrow transplant was successful. The first child was saved.

Now

1. Was it right to have second child ONLY based on probability?

2. What if the second child was not a match? Would they have considered him a let down?

3. Could they have cared for second child if he was not a match and when they were busy taking care of first child?

Do ethics really matter in this scenario?

I also saw a film based on this family and the new born was taken care of other members of family as parents were too busy rescuing and caring for the first one.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

Does anyone remember a famous case of a couple whose only child needed a bone marrow transplant because of cancer? Their blood types didn't match so only solution was to have second child who could probably be a match. They were lucky that the second child's blood type matched and bone marrow transplant was successful. The first child was saved.
Now
1. Was it right to have second child ONLY based on probability?

I don't see it a wrong-doing as long as they appreciate what a GIFT the second kid also would be. Only if they cared enough to be good parents, then they should have 2nd kid. (In fact, that's my thumb rule of parenthood- nobody can force u to have a kid, so have it only if u can do a good job. know that it is a hard job. don't fool around with babies, 1 st or 15th doesn;t matter)

2. What if the second child was not a match? Would they have considered him a let down?
I hope not! .. I doubt there would be such monsters in plentiful, but yes, some may think that way 😕. Majority would be happy with the second kid I think.. I hope.. Yes, they'd continue to feel sad and hurt for the first one.. and that's natural.

3. Could they have cared for second child if he was not a match and when they were busy taking care of first child?
Again, I hope so! Caring for the child is what EVEN the most helpless people do too. I can imagine time and duty restrains, but not to care for the second one would be monstrous IMO.

Do ethics really matter in this scenario?
It is parents' choice Maya. How do we define ethics? Isn;t it ethical to try everything they could to continue gift of life to the first one? They better treat the second one well no matter what.. 😡 Lack of that would compromise ethics..

I have seen several women immigrated to this country, missing their home in india, friends. food whatever it is- and then making a baby because they are lonely 🤢. In my eyes, that is wrong too. Babies should be made when one wants the baby to complete the family, the circle of life and take turn to GIVE .. In your scenario, it is atleast a parents' effort to GIVE the first one.. In the latter case, the mom needs ENTERTAINMENT/ reason to stay busy? / or be of use? in a way?

I can edit it if it is strong.. My sincere apologies if any of this is even slightly hurtful to anyone. PM me and I will edit delete.. thanks.. 😳

I also saw a film based on this family and the new born was taken care of other members of family as parents were too busy rescuing and caring for the first one.
I haven;t seen it. If they did not care enough for the second, I would not like to support them. If they tried and this was the best tentative solution, I don't find it wrong.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

1. Was it right to have second child ONLY based on probability?

i think so ... i mean was their any reason why they couldn't have the kid? ... i mean financial problems, helath problems, etc? ... i'm not a parent but i'm sure if i was in this situation i would have tried to have another child .... we should also realize that this couple was fortunate that they even had this option ... what about those parents who can't have anymore children? .... and we're talking about probability of bone marrow matching a sibling - that's 25% .... hope of finding a match from non-relatives - 1/20000 ( https://www.reachoutmichigan.org/funexperiments/agesubject/le ssons/newton/marrow.html , and https://www.ias.ac.in/currsci/nov252004/1438.pdf) ... i'd say that the parents should do everything in their power to help their child

2. What if the second child was not a match? Would they have considered him a let down?

i sincerely hope not ..... every child is precious ...... and i would truly hope that god forbid that their was no match between the siblings .... at least the parents would see the second child as someone who they could love in the absence of the first (i'm not saying as a replacement ...... but as another child that was sent to them so they could shower on it the love and affection they would have on their first child)

3. Could they have cared for second child if he was not a match and when they were busy taking care of first child?

well the answer to this is another question .... what if a couple had two children whom they loved dearly ... one was diagnosed with blood cancer but the sibling was not a match .... would they start hating the second child? ..... i don't know what i would do if i ever came across parents like that .... i'm sure they may exist somewhere in the world .... i just hope i don't meet them (sorry if that sounds harsh but i think from what i've said before .... i truly think all children are precious and to hate a child for his/her blood/hla type is .... is .... okay i'm not gonna say anything .... you can fill in what ever you like)

Do ethics really matter in this scenario?

i'm not to sure what you mean by ethics in this scenario maya ... [if you're referring to bringing the second child into the world (well if the family has no other issues - health, financial, couple being separated, etc- than yes it is ethical as trying your best to save a life is ethical and since they have no other problem bringing the child into the world there shouldn't be any issues with raising that child .... btw one question .... was this couple adament about only having one child? .... i mean had they decided that they would never have children again? - if not then their is no issue here as they would have had another child anyways .... circumstances just made it happen a little earlier)] ; [if you're referring to the fact that the second child may be sidelined ... that is unethical .... but unfortunately that happens in many situations .... girls are often sidelined when there is a son in the family, darker girls are sidelined due to their fairer sisters ... and all of these are unethical]

I also saw a film based on this family and the new born was taken care of other members of family as parents were too busy rescuing and caring for the first one.

that is sad ..... but if the couple had already had kids .... wouldn't they have needed care too? .... these kids would have been looked after family members while the parents were in the hospital as well ...... so is it really that they're using the kid and then sidelining it or is it more like the child in the hospital needed them more

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Love your AV Raj.....per bahut kadak lagti hai 😆
This is one of the best pictures of Akshay Khanna I have seen. 😊

Now this where Raj starts blah blahing... sensitive topic. Toh straight ot the point😊

Yeah Gauri thats the best picture I found, basically like his sarcastic sweet smile from Taal. You can imagine how picky I was, almost 1 1/2 year on IF and 5 months as a addict and past month uploaded an AV ever. :) Glad you noticed.

There is no debate on what parents would or should do in such a situation. All of us agree with their way.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

I also saw a film based on this family and the new born was taken care of other members of family as parents were too busy rescuing and caring for the first one.

What I meantt was that since the purpose of new born was to provide bone marrow so as soon as the match was made parents were busy preparing for first child's surgery and taking care of her. So they obviously didn't have much time to attend to new born. It doesn't mean that they didn't love the child. But child was deprived of intial care and affection. Parents are not guilty but from the child's point of view it was sad.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

There is no debate on what parents would or should do in such a situation. All of us agree with their way.

yes we do! atleast I do

What I meantt was that since the purpose of new born was to provide bone marrow so as soon as the match was made parents were busy preparing for first child's surgery and taking care of her. So they obviously didn't have much time to attend to new born. It doesn't mean that they didn't love the child. But child was deprived of intial care and affection. Parents are not guilty but from the child's point of view it was sad.

I think my views inlined with topic, no?! Thanks for steering the topic as per intendo here...

Originally posted by: Maya_M

Does anyone remember a famous case of a couple whose only child needed a bone marrow transplant because of cancer? Their blood types didn't match so only solution was to have second child who could probably be a match. They were lucky that the second child's blood type matched and bone marrow transplant was successful. The first child was saved.

Now

1. Was it right to have second child ONLY based on probability?

2. What if the second child was not a match? Would they have considered him a let down?

3. Could they have cared for second child if he was not a match and when they were busy taking care of first child?

Do ethics really matter in this scenario?

I also saw a film based on this family and the new born was taken care of other members of family as parents were too busy rescuing and caring for the first one.

first of all this doesnt make sense... why a couple would be biased about the first kid... and a second child would be used as some bone marrow supplier... i mean come on parents shouldnt be considered with serial number of the baby.... there is no point there..😊

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

first of all this doesnt make sense... why a couple would be biased about the first kid... and a second child would be used as some bone marrow supplier... i mean come on parents shouldnt be considered with serial number of the baby.... there is no point there..😊

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

qwerty, it is not as if the second one will be killed after the transplant. we are only commenting about parents, who otherwise may / may not have considered having a second kid.. are now thinking f having second one with this reason in mind.
as i said, it is far better than many ppl who have children anyway. some neither deserve them, nor do they take good care of them. open newspaper and read fathers killing children, even today's ticker had a report of such nature..
there is absolute point there.. and i think😳😳 you just want to create hungama in thread since all seem to agree 😆😆.. so i am not responding to this 😆😆 until once u wrote what u actually felt about the topic.. 😳😳..

No cutes what does it take to do a bone marrow transplant... i mean you cant subject your second kid to the torment... See killing children...etc. has a rage aspect to it.. its not a calculated decision like put the child on teh todo of the week.. Here you are just planning to do this in a veri calculated manner... the decisions anyone takes can have a bearing on themselves but not some other, in this case a child...