Another aspect of gender biasing - Page 14

Originally posted by: chatbuster

not sure i buy that. but u guys run the place and it's something probably best discussed off-line. but generally, too much instruction imo leads to folks feeling stifled and to stilted conversation.

Agreed. But at the same time, unbridled horses have no direction either and can cause havoc too. Which is why they are not INSTRUCTIONS, but requests, as the readers and writers at DM are intellects and can understand where we normally come from.

am also not very interested in a format that encourages answers to starter's questions and sticking to that. sounds like some of the presidential non-debates where there is hardly any give-and-take and hardly anything is learned.

True again. which is why a good format of debate will throw up newer questions or areas of debate within or incidental to the main thread. Else the debate would be a free for all, where any and all topics of debates will come to be discussed under one thread, with no learning happening at all.


fwiw, folks like john mccain can get on tv and use cuss words. when done tastefully, it enhances communication, substantively and in terms of appeal. would be rather boring without it😊

Maybe true, but IF does wish to keep out cuss words, and believe me, well written english, without the cuss words, can make and be interesting reading too.

anyway am outa here

But why

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

LOL Priya, and the funny thing is I never talk like that, but CB would not report me for such a mild thingy.. and used two of them.. so heheheh.. good we're cewl 😳 .

Originally posted by: chatbuster

not sure i buy that. but u guys run the place and it's something probably best discussed off-line. but generally, too much instruction imo leads to folks feeling stifled and to stilted conversation. am also not very interested in a format that encourages answers to starter's questions and sticking to that. sounds like some of the presidential non-debates where there is hardly any give-and-take and hardly anything is learned. fwiw, folks like john mccain can get on tv and use cuss words. when done tastefully, it enhances communication, substantively and in terms of appeal. would be rather boring without it😊

anyway am outa here

Agreed... no.. we all run the place... lols we look forward to one oppurity to spill it out instrctions and got one today 😆 no worries.. there is no need to feel "feeling stifled " all good ! Enjoy!1 BTW - nice of you to express your feelings.😃

Originally posted by: raj5000

- Family commitment of females are more then males.

I think only this point is the main reason... otherwise, i dun belive on this topic... Females are lot away from males as well...

Originally posted by: chatbuster

fwiw, society (composed of both men and women) defines various roles for women, from wife to mother and worker. for someone who's trying to do all three extremely well, of course it will be harder. but conversely, the woman can choose to excel at any of these three and still find personal fulfilment. what does the guy have? a societal requirement to go out hunting and get the meat ie. money and have a top-notch career. Men dont have as much luxury of being able to slip in and out of different roles, based on their ability and interest, and still find social acceptance. the stay-at-homer is sneered at, and referred to variously as an online-company founder/ day-trader/ bum. 😉 😆

somehow then, society creates a diffused focus for women. career can be shoved aside when other things become important, both good and bad for the woman. but lots of times the only way to success and good performance is single-minded focus. for some jobs, one simply cant do without that. not too many women who'd hang out for 16 hours in the workplace closing deals. sure, they may represent they would before they get hired, but invariably other things pop up. 😉 given all these potential snafus, cant exactly blame employers if they want to be careful who they hire and spend their money on, can we? 😊

Once again I see you making the exact same post...with some different words😆...now don't blame me when you see me responding in the exact same way...with some different words😛

This is the mindset that I was talking about all along. It is changing...both in the west and in India as well. Just because some men and women still believe in it, that doesn't mean that other hardworking professional women and men who chose to focus on family more should be made to feel guilty because they are going against this so called outdated mindset highlighted above.

Evolution is a slow process. Women as well as men are evolving with changing times. We, the people, make this society and its norms. Many things have changed drastically as compared to what it was 20 years ago. This mindset is changing as well and will continue to changeas you see more and more successful women...who manage both personal and professional lives well......around you....and also as you see more and more parents (both mom and dad) encouraging their daughters to go for higher education and careers.....this mindset will also change as the men who have it right now become fathers of adorable little girls and will want best....and only best... of everything for their laadli....be it education, career, home, or life partner😉 (the mere thought of cute little chatty brats running around you and busting all this chat out of you is giving me a laughing fit🤣......😆)

One can choose to have a selective perception and ignore these changes but that does not mean it doesn't exist. Kabooter bhi billi key aagey aankhey meech leta hai...per kya uss key na dekhney sey billi gayab ho jaati hai😛

Kuchh bhi bolo CB baba, apni aankhey kab tak bund ker key rakhogey.....kabhi na kabhi toh realize karogey duniya kitni badal gayee hai😉

Originally posted by: chatbuster

haha, no problem if u think u are more capable. i am talking about jobs where one side or the other has a natural gift or advantage, eg. nursing. From what i know, women generally make better nurses and they do get hired in larger numbers than males. dont see too many men whining though, do we?😉

you don't see men whining because women are NOT asking that eligible male nurses should not be hired because women make better nurses. We are not insecure about sharing our sapce with males....it's the males who are feeling insecure as they are seeing the women....whom some of them love to keep pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.......work as good , if not better, as males. BTW women excel as doctors, teachers, professors and whole bunch of other professions too.

as for your experiences, i am no academic guide here, but perhaps quality counts for as much as quantity? my understanding also is that academic promotions are more political than one might think. maybe u didnt schmooze around as much as the men since you had other obligations to meet as well?

Politics of keeping eligible women away from their deserved promotions comes from the same mindset we discussed above. Somewhere in the back pages someone accused women of using their feminity to get "soft" assignments....and here I am seeing you making a point that women miss on opportunities because they did not schmooze their way out....huh....looks like some men want their cake and eat it too😉

(unlike the guys who probably view their jobs as the be-all and end-all of how they define themselves). so hard for me to make any assessments or provide any recommendations😉😆

When schmoozing men and women get promoted based on schmoozing only, it is not fair to other hardworking men and women who believe in letting their performance speak for themselves.

Hiring, retaining, promotions, raises, bonuses all should be eligibility and performance driven....period.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

you don't see men whining because women are NOT asking that eligible male nurses should not be hired because women make better nurses. We are not insecure about sharing our sapce with males....it's the males who are feeling insecure as they are seeing the women....whom some of them love to keep pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.......work as good , if not better, as males. BTW women excel as doctors, teachers, professors and whole bunch of other professions too.

👏👏 talking about nurses - men know how "soft" a job it is, and so shy away from it 😉

Hiring, retaining, promotions, raises, bonuses all should be eligibility and performance driven....period.

KDNBKD😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Once again I see you making the exact same post...with some different words😆...now don't blame me when you see me responding in the exact same way...with some different words😛

This is the mindset that I was talking about all along. It is changing...both in the west and in India as well. Just because some men and women still believe in it, that doesn't mean that other hardworking professional women and men who chose to focus on family more should be made to feel guilty because they are going against this so called outdated mindset highlighted above.

Evolution is a slow process. Women as well as men are evolving with changing times. We, the people, make this society and its norms. Many things have changed drastically as compared to what it was 20 years ago. This mindset is changing as well and will continue to changeas you see more and more successful women...who manage both personal and professional lives well......around you....and also as you see more and more parents (both mom and dad) encouraging their daughters to go for higher education and careers.....this mindset will also change as the men who have it right now become fathers of adorable little girls and will want best....and only best... of everything for their laadli....be it education, career, home, or life partner😉 (the mere thought of cute little chatty brats running around you and busting all this chat out of you is giving me a laughing fit🤣......😆)

One can choose to have a selective perception and ignore these changes but that does not mean it doesn't exist. Kabooter bhi billi key aagey aankhey meech leta hai...per kya uss key na dekhney sey billi gayab ho jaati hai😛

Kuchh bhi bolo CB baba, apni aankhey kab tak bund ker key rakhogey.....kabhi na kabhi toh realize karogey duniya kitni badal gayee hai😉

Hit the nail right on the head.

I do have a cousin who has a hi flying job which not only pays her handsomely, but takes her to long tours...and frequently outside the country. Her lawyer husband - an elite Harvard law graduate, no less - is happy to babysit their baby daughter while she is continent hopping.

So it really is all about the family equation and changing, evolving mindset. Of course a woman would need a leave to give birth or to nurture a child - that is as much a social call as anything else - and that is very much in the realm of adjustments made both at the work place as well as the home front.

Basically all these mindsets became a norm because in the time of bygone era, more brawn than brains were required to lead a quality life. Hence the ladies were relegated to background .The brains were not the top requisite for a successful life. However, in today's context, it's the brain which does all the talking..... hence mankind cannot really let the vast resource of brain bank go waste. Hence the mindset is changing and fast.