Provoked - Your views - Page 4

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

and not only women should be educated but also men should be brought up with a bit less ego and respect for women and tolerance.

thats the main problem in men, mostly. They think they have all the right to abuse , beat his wife but woman cant even open her mouth in front of him😕 ,If the wife try to rise her voice or want divorce, parents of wife or other relatives always suggest her to do adjusment with situation😕, realise her that what will happen with her childeren if she separate ( I dont understand one thing , why always Women have to care about her cholderen? why cant Men do adjust for the sake of his childeren?)

so women have to adjust with circumstances as the result ,whole abusive life or rarely ends like Karanjit , other being killed by her husband's hand or in-laws ,some commit suicide..............

Originally posted by: Maya_M

All of us agree that there is no excuse for domestic violence but

3. Does one deserve a bravery award for murder, whatever the circumstances be?

Again if it was a murder for self defense or rescuing someone else putting yourself in danger. But giving it to a battered woman who killed her husband after well planning it sends a wrong message. She herself asks all women to sttand up for themselves and not kill spouse then why did she accept that award?

I agree with this part. I hadn't known that she had actually planned all this. Now that I have read the article, I do not think she deserved any award of any sort for this. Initially I had thought she had killed him on impulse while she was being abused. But a pre-meditated murder is no reason for award.

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

Alot of time they are over whelmed with the blame and feel shame which is also inflicted on them by the abuser. It is never abuser's fault it is always the abusee at fault. When one is in this type of abusive relationship for so long they totally lose perspective or their capability of thinking straight. It just takes over their mind and life. So sad.

I do not wish to step outside professional shoes here, and those who find it wrong, please please ignore me anyway! 😕😕
SOME parents ( Even rich / rather loaded ) who marry away their daughters in a grand wedding, often times tell there daughters never to come back even when they know ABUSE is happening. For those of who, whose jaws dropped to the floor, BEEN THERE DONE THAT! 😕
Lack of folks's support and in fact a feeling of SHAME in going back 😭 is the PRIMARY REASON the women often bare and bare some more and it goes on beyond belief ... There has never been a real goal, a real achievement and the girls tend to be directioless 🤢🤢..
They have way more gold than we have probably, but they have NO WHERE TO GO if they leave their husband. This tends to be MORE PREVALENT in certain communities as opposed to certain others and I will not name names here.
Many educated men working in top-notch techy companies grow up thinking " Aadmi hoon, ekad bar hath uthh bhi gayaa to koi gal nahee" .. These parents have failed with both daughters and sons and hence, it is essential to go with the flow and change some age-old traditions..
I concur with raunaq, maya, DB and such that it is GIRL's PARENTS who can take a SOLID STAND and the trend of considering beating to be okay will change some day. Boy's parents will change automatically, knowing that "Dadagiri nahee chalegee 😡"

Originally posted by: raunaq

maya, your other story is scary that reminds of phoolan devi story too, many years ago, there was a hype about her story, don't know much about her story but wasnt she also an abused woman?

Raunaq, there are tons of stories of South Asian women's abuse in US. It is horrifying that these women keep quiet mostly because they don't want to burden their family or may be she knows that her family won't support her.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

All of us agree that there is no excuse for domestic violence but

1. Is killing justified in any case?

Killing is justified only when it is done for self-defense. In Kiranjit's case she went out of the house bought petrol and planned well for the murder. She waited till her husband went to sleep and burned him. Why didn't she just drive off to a women's shelter or lodged a complaint against police? It was not as if she was trapped in the house.

2. Do you believe in her story?

I want to because her story is not unique but similar to those thousands of South Asian women where parents are eager to marry off their daughters to some NRIs without even checking the guy's background. I have read that in Punjab it has become very common these days. Recently there was a case in Virginia where an Indian guy killed and chopped his wife into pieces and was on his way to throw it in some river but got caught by police.

3. Does one deserve a bravery award for murder, whatever the circumstances be?

Again if it was a murder for self defense or rescuing someone else putting yourself in danger. But giving it to a battered woman who killed her husband after well planning it sends a wrong message. She herself asks all women to sttand up for themselves and not kill spouse then why did she accept that award?

We echoed as always! Especially on the 3rd one. She should not have accepted the award

Originally posted by: Maya_M

All of us agree that there is no excuse for domestic violence but

1. Is killing justified in any case?

i think she did the right thing she had two children she didnt have parents to turn back to and this guy would have eventually married another and made life miserable for her too and her children so better remove such filth. and taking divorse and then the custody case would have been even more mentally tortourous for her in the long run and who knows wht this guy would have done to her may be even killed her and married another.

2. Do you believe in her story?

i believ her. i see many cases of this sort on news two dyas ago i saw that a guy killed his wife saying that he was taking for a weekend to pheonix and told all his relatives abt their weekend. her parents were repenting that they used to tell her to adjust and be tolerant to save her marriage

3. Does one deserve a bravery award for murder, whatever the circumstances be?

i think it took her a lottttttttttttt of courage to take that decision . she did not know what punishment she would have got for killing. she took that action after years of suffering. and i dont think she had any other option either to die each day or commit suicide of kill. i appreciate her for not commiting suicide unlike other women and killing the beast.

a few more cases of this kind and hopefully men will think twice before abusing any woman.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Many educated men working in top-notch techy companies grow up thinking " Aadmi hoon, ekad bar hath uthh bhi gayaa to koi gal nahee" .. These parents have failed with both daughters and sons and hence, it is essential to go with the flow and change some age-old traditions..
I concur with raunaq, maya, DB and such that it is GIRL's PARENTS who can take a SOLID STAND and the trend of considering beating to be okay will change some day.

This is further glorified in those serials some camps churn out daily and also in some films. 🤢

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

Alot of time they are over whelmed with the blame and feel shame which is also inflicted on them by the abuser. It is never abuser's fault it is always the abusee at fault. When one is in this type of abusive relationship for so long they totally lose perspective or their capability of thinking straight. It just takes over their mind and life. So sad.

Reminds me of a dialogue from some old Hindi movie

'Atyachar karne wale se bada gunehgaar atyachar sehne wala hota hai'

Originally posted by: Rajeev Ki Heer

thats the main problem in men. They think they have all the right to abuse , beat his wife but woman cant even open her mouth in front of him😕 ,

I wouldn't make a sweeping statement like that. Before blaming everything on men it is also upto us women to stand up for our rights.

Originally posted by: raunaq

why she didn't seek help?

Only she can answer that!

Perhaps she didn't know where to look for help.😕