Posted:
The article with the following link is an eye opener for me:
http://www.safercampus.org/blog/2011/03/essential-concepts-how-patriarchy-and-rape-culture-hurt-men/
Interestingly based on this article one can understand the situation in our country is really complicated. It is true women are considered submissive to men in patriarchal culture. And more importantly the society becomes a male dominated one. But that way, there are two problems: The first one is maintaining the dominance is something very difficult and that itself can pain a person a lot. And then men dominate over other men also. It happens the father dominates over son and the son over his wife. And it will happen such that, the father will make a choice of a daughter-in-law who helps to extend his dominance instead of letting the son choose his wife. And this can cause problems. Interestingly a dominant person is always forced to be an adult and the submissive person has the previlege to behave like a child. Being an adult always is a strain which could lead to depression.
There was a time, we had polygamy in India. Can we look at this culture in a different angle? I do accept many women sharing a husband is not happy for a woman. But suppose the parents of a girl think this way about a prospective groom who is already married. 'This person is rich and we also see him having desirable qualities and one who takes care of his wife well. Our daughter will be secure in life when she marries him." They could go for him instead of going out for a unknown person and they could also get to a situation when they get no alliance from a rich groom. As another point, when there was polygamy, almost 90% of women were married and only 40% of males were married. Thus we could see there are benefits for a male when we have monogamy.
One can now understand why males suffer in India based on these new laws. These laws are drafted as well as implemented with a patriarchal mindset. The Govt: and the judges assume the role of the patriarchs who protect the women and punish the males based on the female complaints, even if what the female tells are all lies. What is considered by judges is a woman can behave like a child in her in-laws home and her husband and his parents are to be like adults. Already many of us accept that patriarchy has caused many problems for women and women are made to be submissive to the men in a patriarchal society. In that case, how will these laws help the women, when things still operate in the society with a patriarchal mindset? Things are the same as during the time of Ramayana. Those judges and the politicians have to show to be in the good books of the woman and so behave this way.
In this situation if there is marital rape law which is implemented with the same patriarchal mindset definitely it can bring disastrous results only. Definitely this is not going to change anything in the society. A wife has fifty laws by which she can file case against husband but the husband has no law. Yet has it changed the situation of men in the country? One more law is going to help no one.
http://www.safercampus.org/blog/2011/03/essential-concepts-how-patriarchy-and-rape-culture-hurt-men/
Interestingly based on this article one can understand the situation in our country is really complicated. It is true women are considered submissive to men in patriarchal culture. And more importantly the society becomes a male dominated one. But that way, there are two problems: The first one is maintaining the dominance is something very difficult and that itself can pain a person a lot. And then men dominate over other men also. It happens the father dominates over son and the son over his wife. And it will happen such that, the father will make a choice of a daughter-in-law who helps to extend his dominance instead of letting the son choose his wife. And this can cause problems. Interestingly a dominant person is always forced to be an adult and the submissive person has the previlege to behave like a child. Being an adult always is a strain which could lead to depression.
There was a time, we had polygamy in India. Can we look at this culture in a different angle? I do accept many women sharing a husband is not happy for a woman. But suppose the parents of a girl think this way about a prospective groom who is already married. 'This person is rich and we also see him having desirable qualities and one who takes care of his wife well. Our daughter will be secure in life when she marries him." They could go for him instead of going out for a unknown person and they could also get to a situation when they get no alliance from a rich groom. As another point, when there was polygamy, almost 90% of women were married and only 40% of males were married. Thus we could see there are benefits for a male when we have monogamy.
One can now understand why males suffer in India based on these new laws. These laws are drafted as well as implemented with a patriarchal mindset. The Govt: and the judges assume the role of the patriarchs who protect the women and punish the males based on the female complaints, even if what the female tells are all lies. What is considered by judges is a woman can behave like a child in her in-laws home and her husband and his parents are to be like adults. Already many of us accept that patriarchy has caused many problems for women and women are made to be submissive to the men in a patriarchal society. In that case, how will these laws help the women, when things still operate in the society with a patriarchal mindset? Things are the same as during the time of Ramayana. Those judges and the politicians have to show to be in the good books of the woman and so behave this way.
In this situation if there is marital rape law which is implemented with the same patriarchal mindset definitely it can bring disastrous results only. Definitely this is not going to change anything in the society. A wife has fifty laws by which she can file case against husband but the husband has no law. Yet has it changed the situation of men in the country? One more law is going to help no one.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
